Friday 4...Farage Opponents
Pub bore with no pub to go to Nigel Farage is to go head to head with Al Murray's pub landlord in Thanet where he is standing for election with the Free United Kingdom party. The pub landlord said: "It seems to me that the UK is ready for a bloke waving a pint around, offering common sense solutions." UKIP responded: "At last, serious competition in the constituency." While unlike the BBC we think there is such a thing as 'too much Farage coverage' we do have some ideas about who we would like to see him debate...
It's 2015! We are probably now beyond the time you can say "Happy New Year!" but after the first week back at work we are still having trouble adjusting to the cold light of plain old winter with no Christmas or New Year to look forward to. Taking down the lights, folding away Christmas jumpers, no longer having giant meals accompanied by crackers and chocolate coins ceasing to be legal tender, it's that dull time of year when you have nothing to do but readjust to everyday life and wait for Spring. The odd pang of memory and sadness should you find a Quality Street sweetie squirrelled away in your coat pocket. Life seems bleak. So what are our tips for adjusting to 2015...
Friday 5...Christmas Grinch
Everybody is supposed to be having a huge amount of fun right now because it's Christmas. It's all sparkly this and spiced that and eggnog-flavoured-what-now? Are you excited? About Christmas? We hope so. Although it's not healthy to build your expectations too high so we are going to go all Grinchy on you and share times when Christmas has been ruined for us. Tales of the Santa myth being crushed, falling foul of alcohol, yuletide stomach bugs and party present shortages start here, what ruined Christmas for you?
Friday 4...Nativity Cast
This week we realised we must start pretending like we are prepared for Christmas and how better to prepare than to look at the true meaning of Christmas. No, not presents, office parties, eggnog, fancy decorations or turkey. The Nativity scene. When our Lord gave us Christmas and kindly shared his birthday with all of us so we all get presents come the 25th December. Hurrah. Many a school Nativity play will be commencing at this time so we decided to cast our own Nativity play featuring the people we'd most like to hear drone the dirge of a carol Away in a Manger...
Friday 4...Break the Internet
We think the period during which Kim Kardashian was threatening to break the internet is over. We are safe. For now. Of course she didn't mean it but that doesn't mean a host of copy-cat internet destroyers won't start popping up all over the place. That is the nature of celebrity and fandom. Remember after Demi Moore's Vanity Fair cover in which she posed pregnant and nude it became absolutely de rigueur to pose naked on the cover of a magazine in a similar pose to announce the impending celebrity by maternal/paternal association infant. It shall now be strongly suggested that celebrities pose nude and threaten the general public whilst doing so. It was bound to happen, we see so much nudity nowadays that it simply isn't enough to bare all. However we think Kim should have gone about breaking the internet in more practical, less chilly ways. Here are some ideas.
This week saw the release of Amy Poehler's much anticipated autobiography Yes Please. In a world where biography is king and you're no one until you've done a book signing for a tome entitled 'My Story' with a photo of you looking sincere and mildly put upon on the cover, we wonder if the genre is being mildly abused for a quick buck come Christmas time. Surely not. So we have come up with a list of other people who we would like to produce an autobiography, or those who we wish had shared their life story before they shuffled off this mortal coil...
Friday 4...Twin Peaks Predictons
It is happening again. It's the news all those kids who just discovered the 90s have been waiting for. This week David Lynch announced with a tweet and underwhelming teaser video that Twin Peaks is set to return in 2016, just as Laura Palmer predicted, having told Cooper she'd see him again in 25 years. The Squeamish team are big fans of Twin Peaks - though some of us sensibly avoided the second series - and Diane, here are some ideas we'd like to put forward about what's been happening in Twin Peaks... hypothetical spoiler alert!
Friday 5...Feminism Sells
Beyonce knows it, Taylor Swift didn't know it but now does know it, Lily Allen knows it and Emma Watson knows it. Feminism sells. This is either the trickle down effect of the Destiny's Child song Independent Woman or everyone is realising feminism makes a lot of sense. Or it is the trickle down effect of Independent Woman and advertisers have realised that a lot of women bought the shoes on their feet, as well as the clothes they're wearing and the rocks they're rocking. This is a market that encourages women to think they can buy strength in a shampoo bottle and now even Chanel is getting in on the act sending their models down the catwalk with faux feminist placards. The question is not what you can do for feminism but what feminism can sell to you...
What's it all about? We bet that's what you're wondering this morning. Who doesn't start Friday with a bit of an existential crisis? No? Just us? Perhaps you've got it figured out, are supremely confident in the meaning of life, but feel like you'd just like some specific guidance, someone to tell you how to act. Or what to think. Luckily, there are plenty of people who will do that. The latest group are the British Humanist Association, who have bought a load of advertising space on the London underground in which they will share/promote some humanist beliefs. They should sit nicely alongside the posters reminding people that you'd really have to be frightfully rude to eat smelly food and the aspirational advertisements for holidays and designer watches. The thing is, we're not ones to avoid a bandwagon. And we have opinions. Plenty of them. So the Squeamish team have been racking their brains to decide what it is they would most like to tell their fellow (wo)men. What piece of advice would we emblazon on a poster in letters bigger than our own heads? Turns out we're a bit of a cynical bunch really...
Friday 5...Balancing the Books
For Books' Sake has launched a petition a petition called Balance The Books. For Books' Sake was surprised to learn that in spire of women reading, buying and selling more books than men the specifications for GCSE English Literature features a decline in representation of women. They decided to take action and balance the books, calling for the exam boards to commit to gender equality in their GCSE English Literature specifications, along with better diversity in terms of race, class and sexuality.
We have come up with some helpful suggestions for the exam boards to take into account when balancing up the books...