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Previously on Squeamish Bikini...Friday 5...Crossovers
After being revealed in leaked emails the Sony hack in December which set the web tingling Marvel and Sony finally confirmed thatSpider-Man is returning to the Marvel line-up. Well sort of - much like every single 90s sitcom crossover the characters won't mention or acknowledge each other when they swing back to their respective rival franchises as Sony will still produce any solo Spider-Man films. In honour of this amazing, spectacular, sensational news Squeamish Bikini asked which characters from unconnected franchises would you like to see team up.
Friday 5... PE Suggestions
Ah physical education. PE. It was always the big divider at school between those who hated it and those who liked it/found it a convenient skive. Usually when PE gets a mention in the news it is regarding the amount of hours dedicated (or not dedicated) to it in the curriculum or how to encourage fitness in our yoof. This time PE is on the agenda because rounders, rounders, has been quietly pulled from the GCSE curriculum by the Department of Education. The Telegraph has declared this a tragedy for those who hate sport and possibly discouragement for girls in PE class. We come up with some activities to replace rounders...
Friday 5...Power Moves
According to ELLE magazine (or rather an ELLE writer whom Caitlin Moran fears is dead inside): "Crying is having a bit of a feminist moment. There is an entire female reclamation of tears happening online, where women who have been told for years that to cry in public - especially at work - is to lose all credibility are now flaunting their waterworks." This is the first we have heard about this, other than Tina Fey saying that crying "terrifies everyone" which is not the same as saying crying is feminist. ELLE goes even further to say crying is not just feminist but a POWER MOVE. Is it? We investigate...
The Sun had got its red top on
Ah feminist freedom. We have been freed from glimpses of perky nipples on a beaming young woman who is named (or credited as I like to think, for her nips) in The Sun paper. No more will you sit next to a person admiring such tits on public transport. No more will you be forced to explain breasts to your infant child. No more will you have to concern yourself over the agency of women in their late teens and early twenties. For, dear reader, Page 3 is kaphut. Well kind of. Look you are still going to have to look at women in undies or revealing outfits on Page 3, but you had to look at that on all the rest of the pages already. It's still totes a victory. I just don't know whose victory. Perhaps it's a step in the right direction, if what we hope to achieve for our children is prudery and repulsion over women's naked bodies. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 4... Farage opponents
Pub bore with no pub to go to Nigel Farage is to go head to head with Al Murray's pub landlord in Thanet where he is standing for election with the Free United Kingdom party. The pub landlord said: "It seems to me that the UK is ready for a bloke waving a pint around, offering common sense solutions." UKIP responded: "At last, serious competition in the constituency." While unlike the BBC we think there is such a thing as 'too much Farage coverage' we do have some ideas about who we would like to see him debate...
Vintage Advertising
After decades of willowy white teens modelling clothing and accessories the average 18 year old can ill afford there seems to have been a small shift in fashion advertising. Now the octogenarian Joan Didion can be seen posing (or...just sitting) in sunglasses for the fashion label Celine and now at 71 years old Joni Mitchell has been revealed as the face of Yves Saint Laurent Music Project campaign. The choice of both models make sense. Didion can most likely afford and definitely suit a Celine outfit. Joni Mitchell makes music. The signing of these women causes a suitably flattering ruckus because they are old but also chic and therefore we are allowed to aspire to them. How good of these companies to employ not just older, but old women, aren't they brave? Now as women we know that we can get old. Thanks for the permission. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 4...Adjusting
It's 2015! We are probably now beyond the time you can say "Happy New Year!" but after the first week back at work we are still having trouble adjusting to the cold light of plain old winter with no Christmas or New Year to look forward to. Taking down the lights, folding away Christmas jumpers, no longer having giant meals accompanied by crackers and chocolate coins ceasing to be legal tender, it's that dull time of year when you have nothing to do but readjust to everyday life and wait for Spring. The odd pang of memory and sadness should you find a Quality Street sweetie squirrelled away in your coat pocket. Life seems bleak. So what are our tips for adjusting to 2015...
When Feminism is not Feminist
2014 seems to have been the year of celebrities saying they were feminists and feminists saying they couldn't be because they had been seen in public wearing pants. Spangly pants. 2015 is shaping up to be the year celebrities say they aren't feminists, sorry not sorry and feminists comment that they bloody should be and to apologise for this lack of desire to join a seemingly unwelcoming movement. While Beyonce, who spent last year discussing her feminism, equal pay and featured a Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie quote about women in her single Flawless before standing in front of a screen that said FEMINIST in giant letters on the MTV Awards has earned reams of features explaining why she can't be feminist. Meanwhile in a recent interview Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting was asked if she was a feminist and when she answered "Is it bad if I say no?" received a shocked and disappointed response from feminists and commentators. Squeamish Kate writes...
Big Eyed Surprise
Like the giant round orbs at the centre of the paintings in the film, I am all wide eyed and sentimental for Tim Burton's earlier films. I miss the fairytale beauty of Edward Scissorhands - untainted by the blight of CGI. I long for the imagination ofBeetlejuice which was laced with just the right amount of gruesome gothic to add depth to the comic script.
This Burton directed biographical portrait of artistMargaret Keane, whose husband took credit for her artworks for ten years (if not his entire life) was a pleasant surprise. Not only did it tell a fascinating true story well it did it with the ingenuity and humour of Burton's earlier films. Go and watch Ed Wood. The same sympathetic but observant eye is applied here. Other Burton enthusiasts will pick up in a few other of the directors signature touches. Squeamish Nicola writes... Friday 5...Christmas Grinch
Everybody is supposed to be having a huge amount of fun right now because it's Christmas. It's all sparkly this and spiced that and eggnog-flavoured-what-now? Are you excited? About Christmas? We hope so. Although it's not healthy to build your expectations too high so we are going to go all Grinchy on you and share times when Christmas has been ruined for us. Tales of the Santa myth being crushed, falling foul of alcohol, yuletide stomach bugs and party present shortages start here, what ruined Christmas for you?
Mistletoe and Whine
So the nicest thing about a cold Christmassy winter is this nostalgic image: the foggy haze of out of focus multi-coloured fairy lights strewn over a synthetic evergreen. The only way to achieve this blissful and blurred scene is to indulge in some liquid Christmas cheer - mulled wine! I equate the long success of my Christmas spirit with the amount of warming wine I have consumed. Sadly I am only on my first mulled wine of the season but at £4.95 a glass who can blame me? It's time to get myself mulling (and my liver), please do join me! Squeamish Nicola writes...
Friday 4...Nativity Cast
This week we realised we must start pretending like we are prepared for Christmas and how better to prepare than to look at the true meaning of Christmas. No, not presents, office parties, eggnog, fancy decorations or turkey. The Nativity scene. When our Lord gave us Christmas and kindly shared his birthday with all of us so we all get presents come the 25th December. Hurrah. Many a school Nativity play will be commencing at this time so we decided to cast our own Nativity play featuring the people we'd most like to hear drone the dirge of a carol Away in a Manger...
The Ugly Girl Club
It's not really news that women and girls feel as though they are being constantly judged on their looks. Either from others or from highly critical self appraisals every time they pass a mirror or catch their reflection in a shop window. The majority of women who speak up for fripperies such as rights or equality have probably been informed their point is invalidated by their physical appearance. Curiously not an obstacle members of the Thatcher cabinet came up against. Because a woman's status apparently rests on her looks, youth and size many people genuinely believe that to respond to any argument made by her on any subject can be dismissed, nay crushed, with the response that she is ugly. Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: Into the Woods
Our Sue might be a mature student at Warwick University but that doesn't mean she is surrounded by maturity at university. Still, she can still have a mature reaction to the shenanigans that is uni life even though this is not your average 'bare'..
I was pleased to see our lecturer not bat an eyelid when she was interrupted mid sentence by a crowd who burst (politely) into our lecture hall to enquire if we had an Andreas in our midst. Squeamish Sue writes... Friday 5...Porn Regulations
You might have noticed we mentioned the Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 yesterday. You also might have noticed that Squeamish Louise is not totally down with them because (and we quote) "these regulations will mean pornography will focus even more on traditional gender roles and male fantasy." As a site with feminist leanings and enthusiasm towards consenting adults being able to safely express themselves (like Madonna told you to) we think these regulations might need a rethink. However we do understand that once you're on a regulating rampage that regulating itch must be scratched. So we have come up with some other things we'd like to see nixed in porn...
Do it yourself
In case you've missed all of the coverage so far, I'd like to draw your attention to the fact that on Tuesday, the Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 was brought in, censoring pornography by banning the depictions of a list of acts. It's not illegal to watch porn featuring these acts if it was made abroad, but none of them can be depicted on video on demand services made in the UK. The list includes spanking, caning, restraint, watersports and strangulation. So maybe you're thinking that if you're not into kinky sex this doesn't affect you. But that's not all: face sitting and female ejaculation are all also on the list. Squeamish Louise writes...
Educating Sue: A Cunning Plan
Term is coming to an end. Which means literature reviews, rewrites and essay plans are due. All this on top of organising Christmas for the entire family. But don't worry, Sue has a plan...
My dissertation supervisor is keen. She said if I send her some draft ideas she will look at them, and I did in fact manage to get a draft literature review done in the end, which she has already looked at and returned comment. I sent it to her to meet the deadline and buy myself some time, not for a moment imagining she would leap on it as soon as she opened her inbox. Squeamish Sue writes... what we do in the cinema
I hate people who don't turn their phones off at the cinema - the floodlight glare of other people's iPhones is abhorrent. The rage that flows through my veins is probably akin to the bloodlust of a vampire. My viewing experience is tainted by a large and ignorant cinema audience. You can imagine how pleased I was to turn up to a near empty midnight screening of What We Do in the Shadows the mockumetary about a den of vampires form one half of The Flight of the Concords Jermaine Clement, and who I can only imagine is his best bud, Taika Waititi. I now want to be his friend and I want you to watch this film they have written. All I knew about this film is stated above was from the poster. A bunch of vampires sitting in an old house below some taxidermy and a staircase. My mind jumped straight to Tim Burton's Dark Shadows revival. I never managed to make it through that even though vampires were a staple of my teenage years. The angst of Buffy, the camp of Bram Stoker's Dracula and the MTV comedy-gore-Corey fest and that is The Lost Boys. Of all the people who want to know about the trials and tribulations of being one of the undead it is me. Squeamish Nicola writes...
Friday 5...Toys
'Tis rapidly approaching the season for overblown consumerism and trying to work out what to buy to communicate that you like someone, but not enough to see them on such a regular basis that you know exactly what they want. Of course, it's all a bit easier when you're thinking about kids. There are so many cool and interesting toys out there. It's just a bit sad that their makers so often decree that they can only be played with by kids of a particular gender. First Kinder Egg broke our hearts by taking one of the best things in the world (chocolate and toys! Together!) and deciding toruin them. And then who knew that superheroes, or alarm clocks, were something only boys like? We reckon Lego had itright in the 70s, although maybe not so much now... But it's all got us reminiscing. What were the Squeamish team's favourite toys?
To be a woman is to shh!
To be a successful and valid woman you might think that you simply have to believe yourself to be three things: adult, human and female (whether or not you were assigned female at birth). But it appears this is not enough. To be a woman you have to age gracefully - though nobody is quite sure what this entails but it seems to be finding the balance between not ageing too visibly and stepping aside whilst acknowledging your career is over once you hit 35/40. You must also wear a different outfit everyday. You must also stoically remain silent when it comes to any bad behaviour from your husband (if you are heterosexual) - unless you can arrange a doe-eyed interview in which you appeal to your public, please see Princess Diana's Panorama interview for tips. You must toe this line or your dignity and womanhood will be brought into question and you will be told you are making a scene/lot of fuss about nothing. It often seems, reading the Daily Mail and other media, that to be a woman is to get what you're given. Squeamish Kate writes...
Seeing Red
Today is International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. Why do we have such a day? Well duh, because women and girls are suffering violence. Violence on such a scale across the globe that we have to raise awareness. Allow me to furnish you with some statistics. 35% of women and girls experience some form of physical or sexual violence - in some countries this statistic goes up to seven in ten women suffering abuse. It's been estimated that as many as 30 million girls under 15 are at risk from FGM/C and over 130 million girls have undergone the procedure. What else can I tell you, 700 million of women alive today, today, were married as children and 250 million before they reached 15. Girls who marry under 18 are less likely to finish their education and more at risk of domestic violence and complications in childbirth. Squeamish Kate writes...
Normcore Barbie
This isn't the first time I have found myself vaguely (or enthusiastically) defending Barbie. Or rather having faith in the imagination of children, but I find myself discussing a small doll again. Last week a new doll was released with the intention of treading on Barbie's tiny toes (which would be unfortunate because Barbie needs those to stand on) called Lammily. Lammily is a similar size and age to Barbie, she is not a baby doll, she is in fact designed to depict a 19 year old woman in a more realistic fashion. The creation of digital artist and designer Nickolay Lamm, Lammily is supposed to help those who play with Barbies realise that her body type is not the only kind to aspire to. Lamm told Huffpost that he "wanted to show that average is beautiful and that we shouldn't compare ourselves to unrealistic beauty standards. And I feel Barbie kind of symbolizes that." Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 4...Break the Internet
We think the period during which Kim Kardashian was threatening to break the internet is over. We are safe. For now. Of course she didn't mean it but that doesn't mean a host of copy-cat internet destroyers won't start popping up all over the place. That is the nature of celebrity and fandom. Remember after Demi Moore's Vanity Fair cover in which she posed pregnant and nude it became absolutely de rigueur to pose naked on the cover of a magazine in a similar pose to announce the impending celebrity by maternal/paternal association infant. It shall now be strongly suggested that celebrities pose nude and threaten the general public whilst doing so. It was bound to happen, we see so much nudity nowadays that it simply isn't enough to bare all. However we think Kim should have gone about breaking the internet in more practical, less chilly ways. Here are some ideas.
Strip down sexism
Ah, fashion. I for one love it. I love commenting on it, I love looking at it and sometimes I love thinking that I am wearing it and that everyone else is wrong. It's not always polite to comment on fashion, or someone's fashion choice. Particularly if you are going to comment on your impression of their morality from their fashion choice. But sometimes it is. There have been two cases of this recently. In one fashion comment incident a man appeared on TV to discuss the amazing Rosetta mission wearing a shirt covered in pictures of busty women with many people took issue with. In another a woman in Kenya was assaulted by a group of men for wearing 'tempting' attire. Hey, here's a quiz for Tuesday, which person deserves a group of people rushing to their defence? Squeamish Kate writes...
Tied up in Knots
Last week Kim Kardashian launched project Break the Internet. Her weapon of choice? Butt. Followed by nipples and a hint of vulva. It is not the first time we have seen Kim's naked body but it is the first time we have been quite so incensed by it. Too shiny! She's a mother! Oh my goodness that black sequin dress looks like a bin bag! Is that butt even real? I can't believe she has no pubic hair. Other important comments were made, such as the fact these nude photos were different because it's perhaps the first time we have seen this woman smile or look like she is having any fun. Which was nice. There was also however the problem that this image of Kim's buttocks was seemingly deemed more acceptable than, for example, Nicki Minaj's - why is one butt decent and the other indecent? It's also interesting that when nude images of famous women were stolen we all liked to take a sneaky peek but for some reason a woman consensually posing nude is peculiarly iffy. However let us not forget that the internet did not break, we had access to the usual plethora of information and we chose to highlight a woman's nude photoshoot over a the deaths of women in a sterilisation camp in India. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Nominative determinism
Usually we try to make the Friday 5 theme vaguely topical. You know, for hits. But this week we are just indulging ourselves for our own amusement. Sometimes we encounter people with names so perfectly matched to their job it seems as though it was destiny. Or they got confused as to where to sign on their careers day form. There is a term for all those bakers who have the surname Baker, or butchers who are Butchers etc. Nominative determinism. We have picked our best cases of this...
Siren Sound
With pick up artists, street harassment, the re-discovery of laddism and good old fashioned misogyny creating an atmosphere that makes women and girls feel unsafe it is unsurprising that a new dating app is in the works. My Twitter feed is full of screenshots of inappropriate messages via OKCupid et al that women on the site have received. Men have sent them creepy compliments, sexual demands, angry notes once they realise they have been rejected and then pleading when they remember using capital letters on a stranger rarely works and doesn't count as negging. Which totally always works. Moving on from Tinder's swipe left policy dating app like Siren was, perhaps, inevitable. But is it a good idea? Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: Tooth Soon
When not studying Sue seems to be spending most of her time monitoring her cactus, parking, or at the dentist in a respectful silence...
My Christmas cactus seems to still be on British Summer Time. It's flowering already. It will have peaked by the time Christmas gets here, which actually if the shops are anything to go by is tomorrow, so it might just make it after all. It takes the fun out of things when it all starts too early. There's even a Christmas tree in my hairdressers, yet we have only just had Halloween and bonfire night. My Marxist colleagues would of course put this down to capitalist free market influences, whereas I just think overexposure dulls the senses and people will largely ignore the trappings until they are good and ready to get in the zone and not a minute before. Squeamish Sue writes... A Nipple Equality
Nipples. The only part I recall of Jim Carrey vehicle Cable Guy is when he leans towards his leading man's ear (I assume for this film leading man is the correct terminology - plus I forget who the actor was) and whispers "nipple". The leading man is horrified. I think he has to either say nipple or describe a nipple. Or two. A pair of nipples. It's not right, thinks the leading man, he cannot possibly say nipple. Of course the punchline is that no one else in the room thinks nipple is a weird of pervy thing to say. It's just how Jim Carrey said it DAMMIT. I spent the entire film grossed out because I did not care for Jim Carrey until Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you asked me in 1996 Jim Carrey had no business saying the word "nipple". So does Keira Knightley have any business showing hers? Squeamish Kate writes...
Night of the Walking Wombs
The question of who we prioritise, mother or foetus, is a sensitive and enduring one. Those who are anti-choice say they are saving lives. Those who are pro-choice...say they are saving lives. If you want to read about pro-choice arguments then Bustle has a list of them here. The habits and life choices of a pregnant woman are examined and criticised in huge detail, whether or not she intends to keep the foetus and have a child. It is acceptable to tut at a woman with a swollen belly should she take a drag on a cigarette or sip a glass of wine, or eat a piece of cheese, or lick a shellfish, diet, not diet, go swimming, or fail to exercise, or say she hasn't got any ideas for a name. This is because we are showing our concern for the baby she will (if she wants to) have. It is natural to want to give a child every opportunity to succeed in life. It's why we still have private schools and why our MPs send their kids to them rather than just making all schools good enough for their spawn. And because society loves the idea of a baby (though not the actual baby with the care taking and the crying in restaurants etc) it likes to have a nose at the vessel the baby develops in. Squeamish Kate writes...
friday 5...autobiographies
This week saw the release of Amy Poehler's much anticipated autobiography Yes Please. In a world where biography is king and you're no one until you've done a book signing for a tome entitled 'My Story' with a photo of you looking sincere and mildly put upon on the cover, we wonder if the genre is being mildly abused for a quick buck come Christmas time. Surely not. So we have come up with a list of other people who we would like to produce an autobiography, or those who we wish had shared their life story before they shuffled off this mortal coil...
Yes Please
Many a Smart Girl, Parks & Recreation fan and Saturday Night Live enthusiast has been waiting in anticipation of Amy Poehler's autobiography Yes Please. I for one am a sucker for an autobiography, particularly of those who have a career I am envious of. Taking a leaf out of any of Stephen Fry's autobiographies (he is the Katie Price of the BBC) Amy starts off with a very long apology. In it she explains she has two young kids and other work commitments etc, etc. You might be surprised to read this because Hadley Freeman and Jessica Valenti have both written about Poehler's wish for women to push themselves forward rather than self deprecate or apologise. I'd have written about this before but I was sticking to the embargo I was made to adhere to via email with the publishers Picador. Being a stickler for the rules and all that. Expectations lowered by Amy we press on. Squeamish Kate writes...
Pick up on this
I recently received a slightly baffling press release in which a sex toy company who e-mailed my work account congratulated me for being at work, in the middle of a week day, rather than in the queue to buy or at home playing a particular video game. Well done me. However I wasn't to get too smug, what is this Protestant work ethic grindstone thing? Didn't I think those people (men) in the video game queue deserve sexual pleasure? I have to admit that I stopped reading then because it was a slightly complicated thread to follow as I do not work in the video games industry, nor the sex toy industry (any more) and it wasn't relevant to my job. However the combination of sexual pleasure and video gaming put me in mind of the popular idea among young men (and older men) who subscribe to the Pick Up Artist approach that women are some kind of computer game just waiting for you to input (nudge, nudge, wink) the right code and that you are deserving of sexual gratification. Squeamish Kate writes...
Perfectly Fine Campaign
While watching Selina Thompson perform her one woman showChewing the Fat I was struck my a particular line she said. Describing a teenage love for high fashion, Vogue and other fashion magazines Thompson explained that she wasn't in the least bit intimidated or pressured by the tall, slim, white models whose bodies her short, fat and brown teenage body didn't match up to. "It wasn't that I didn't look like them; they didn't look like me." It was an attitude I partially identified with as a short, pale redhead who also had a love for fashion. My brain simply said 'that doesn't apply to you', which is not the same as 'you are not good enough'. I bring this up in light of the Victoria's Secret Perfect Body campaign which recently came under fire. A reaction anybody at Victoria's Secret, from the shop assistants to the CEO should have seen coming from a mile off. Squeamish Kate writes...
Ain't No Hollaback Boy
You have by now probably not only seen that short film of a woman Shoshana Roberts in modest attire walking silently around New York as men (of colour, perhaps down to choice of neighbourhood) verbally harass her and intimidate her. At the end of the video the comments and actions of the men on the street are totted up and we are told if we want to stop this we should visit and donate to the project Hollaback. You have probably also seen the Funny or Die (I choose die) parody film posted up by Unilad (who amusingly had to point out that it was a parody and that they were aware of this fact. Just a quick overview of the people who run and read Unilad really) of a man in a t shirt wandering the streets of New York silently as people high five him, praise him, offer him jobs and eventually crown him. The film mimics the original's scores at the end and says this is all down to the patriarchy and if you're happy with that then do nothing. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Scary Stories
The nights are drawing in. Thoughts are turning to jacket potatoes and soup and fireworks. And before that, Halloween. What, did you think we'd forgotten? Of course not. This is our favourite festival based around sweets, mild extortion, and competitive carving. Oh and the dressing up. As a feminist website we are under a contractual obligation to mention the whole phenomenon of 'slutty' costumes. Men can dress up in inventive costume. So can women, but it apparently has to feature cleavage and stocking tops, because that's what everyone thinks of when they think 'halloween zombie.' Thing is though, the outrage about those costumes is getting more tiresome than their existence. Have you ever seen one on a real live human on halloween? Us neither. Mostly we just see lots of drunk people wearing badly applied facepaint doing shots. If anyone wants to wear a revealing costume then really, just get on with it. We're not here to judge. How about a return to some of the other traditions associated with tonight? The feeling of ice down the spine, the face lit from below by a torch as a gruesome story is shared. We asked our contributors to share a scary story that has happened to them...
This is what our pm looks like
David Cameron has finally fallen foul of the media's new 'photograph party leaders with prop' campaign. Having happily posed with a free copy of The Sun alongside his fellow leaders, and won over more Sun readers by sporting a Help for Heroes wristband next to Nick Clegg and Nigel Farage - though not Ed Miliband, Cameron has refused anElle magazine t-shirt. Why? We aren't sure but it seems while Clegg and Miliband are happy to be photographed in a t-shirt that declares "This is what a feminist looks like", Cameron isn't. Come on Cameron, everybody's doing it now Beyonce is a feminist. It could be because the t-shirt features a rather ugly font. But until Cameron releases a statement confirming this we have to assume he is one of the many afraid of the word feminist and we have to address this. Squeamish Kate writes...
Vlogging a Dead Horse
I once went to a panel on women in comedy where one panellist said that women find it hard to celebrate other women's success and night on impossible to celebrate an attractive women's success. None of the panellists were willing to discuss this with the (attractive) woman making this point so it's hard to comment on whether it is true or not as I have had little success other than being born totes beautiful. Because I am of a certain age and don't tend to go to YouTube for video tutorials I did not know who Zoella was. Because I am of a certain age however I feel qualified to comment on the reception she has had after finding huge success through vlogging. Squeamish Kate writes...
High Flying Fertility
It's Halloween this week so let's kick off the scary season with the terrifying tale many a career woman fears and every Daily Mail writer warns ladies about: 'Help! I forgot to have children!' No, no, no childless by choice people out there, you did not decide that children weren't for you, allow us to give you the benefit of the doubt and portray you as a tragic and absent minded woman so focused on that promotion you forgot that your little eggs were withering away inside your screaming ovaries. Probably. It is a popular theme to run a story on a woman - who does not necessarily need to be in her 'Autumn' years - regretting her unoccupied womb. Usually the woman is professionally successful and it is a lesson to us all with an ounce of ambition. However according to a new study it is the high fliers who have more children. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Reunited Bands
This week we learned that one of our favourite bands, Sleater-Kinney, had been in the studio for the first time since The Woods was released. As big fans of riot grrrl and women in rock we are delighted that Corin, Janet and Carrie are back together making music. We can't wait to hear their new material and possibly seeing them live again. The reunion of Sleater-Kinney after such a long break has us thinking that maybe some of our other band reunion hopes aren't so far fetched. We have come up with some other bands we'd like to see rock out again...
A Feast of Fat
Performance artist Selina Thompson is fat. Fat. F A T. FFFFFFAAAAAATTTTT TUH TUH TUH. Not curvy, not chubby, not jolly, not 'big and beautiful' not 'larger lady'. Fat. She is fat like she is brown eyed. She is fat like her hair is black. Fat like her skin is brown. Fat. Selina says fat and needs you to say fat because it is fact. A neutral fact. An adjective. Not a negative. Selina talks about this in her one woman show Chewing the Fat. It is the first of a two part body of work titledThe Edible Woman. This is not a feminist piece of art or polemic. It is not a journey of self acceptance. It is purely an exploration of Selina's body image and attitude to food. And it is very nourishing for those hungry for a new approach to body shape, diet and eating. Squeamish Kate writes...
Changing Faces
I spend far more time lurking on Twitter than I should. I usually justify this to myself, saying it's a necessity rather than a procrastination tool because nothing keeps more more up to date on celebrity deaths, affairs and hairstyles than Twitter. And that is Need to Know stuff, right? Yesterday I was scrolling through Twitter, tralala and saw feminist writers of fashion, beauty and fiction Hadley Freeman, Sali Hughes and India Knight discussing someone who had apparently sacrificed their round face for a longer one and forfeited ageing well. Who? Who, who, who? Well guys it looks like the filming of Bridget Jones 3 might be facing difficulty because apparently Bridget Jones is unrecognisable. Squeamish Kate writes...
Should We Still use the b word?
"How do you label yourself and what does that mean?" It's a conversation I hear a lot in various circles. Online magazine for bisexual women Biscuit even had a poll on the question - turns out most of us here identify as bisexual, but almost a third of respondents don't, instead choosing labels such as queer or pansexual, or avoiding labels altogether.
On Bisexual Visibility day the American LGBTQ Task Force ran a blog by leadership programs director Evangeline Weiss about why she no longer called herself bi but instead preferred to identify as queer. Squeamish Louise writes... Consensual Sexbomb
My first Tom Jones encounter was in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air via the famous Carlton Banksdance. The next was watching the disappointing film Mars Attacks and then out came the album that had everyone taking Tom Jones seriously again - but in an ironic way, yeah? Plus it appeared the Welsh crooner (I'm contractually obliged to say that) was in on it. Reload featured all the right people in 1999, The Cardigans, Cerys Matthews, Robbie Williams and the Stereophonics (did I mention it was 1999?) all made an appearance on the album. Suddenly we all loved Tom Jones again and since then he's allowed himself to go grey (so wise!) and portray himself as a mentor in the music industry. Some of us, it seems love him a little more than others. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...T-shirt Slogans
It appears that celebrities are returning to the slogan t-shirt of old. Used to advertise shops and manufacturers before being co-opted by Vivienne Westwood and then Katherine Hamnett. Slogan t-shirts were championed by the seminal 80s band Wham! when they first hit number one and who can forget Britney's 'Dump Him' t-shirt? Interpreted as a message to Cameron Diaz but I like to think of as a little reminder to Britney herself for when she got home to Kevin. Now model Cara Delevingne has got in on the act with a t-shirt to support National Coming Out day and got us thinking about what slogan we might like across our (or a celebrity of our choice's) chests...
CAMRA Leaves Bitter Taste
Well that was weird. In the past we have written about the surge in women drinking ale and written inpraise of ale in general. We are, it seems, a part of the women drinking ale surge. In our student days we drank ale, impressing some and making others feel ashamed of us as they supped their Smirnoff Ice in the classic old man pub we'd dragged them to, confident that they were way cooler than us. Of course this was not true, we knew it, CAMRA knows it. Which is why they recently decided to target freshers in case they didn't know what really turns heads down the Union is to stride up to the bar and order a pint of Best. Only they went about it in a way that kind of suggested that they think young ladies might ask for a straw with their pint, and that makes us bitter. Squeamish Kate writes...
Katherine Ryan: Glam Role Model
Last night I went to see comedian Katherine Ryan perform her latest stand up show Glam Role Model at the Brighton Komedia. If you watch TV chances are you have seen Katherine Ryan. She's the female comic who is allowed to speak and doesn't get edited down to appear as 'silent blonde sidekick' on TV panel shows - a fate all too often meted out to other women who appear on comedy panel shows. Why is this? Perhaps it is because of her Canadianess that refuses to be quieted. Or her delivery that can border on brash and can't be ignored. Or maybe just because Katherine Ryan is plain funny. Too funny to edit down to give the men more air time for their bon mots. Squeamish Kate writes...
Loose Opinion
You can usually rely on the TV show Loose Women for a controversial quote, just as you can rely on the Daily Mail comment section for some horrific opinions - that they are totally entitled to no matter how damaging! Free speech and all that. Yesterday Judy Finnegan made her Loose Women debut and during a discussion about Ched Evans made the kind of comments that might best have been preceded with the popular but senseless phrase "to be fair" (to alert you to unfairness) and perhaps "I'm not a rapist, but..." (to alert you to a comment that supports rape). On a show about women, for women Finnegan joined in the throng of people who question what the victim of a rape was thinking, rather than the rapist. Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: Grumpy Old Women
Sue's son has moved out. Now she should have lots of time to dedicate to studying but not before a quick holiday...
Recently I helped my son and his girlfriend move house, an exhausting all day affair, lifting and carrying numerous sized boxes and bags - all of which demonstrated various stages of suitability for the task expected of them. Some pieces of furniture were walked to the new abode whilst others were taken in my car, the piece de resistance being the bed. The divan, in two pieces, was stacked one on top of the other in the boot so that the tailgate couldn't be closed and I could see absolutely zip in my rear view mirror. Squeamish Sue writes... Friday 4...Twin Peaks Predictions
It is happening again. It's the news all those kids who just discovered the 90s have been waiting for. This week David Lynch announced with a tweet and underwhelming teaser video that Twin Peaks is set to return in 2016, just as Laura Palmer predicted, having told Cooper she'd see him again in 25 years. The Squeamish team are big fans of Twin Peaks - though some of us sensibly avoided the second series - and Diane, here are some ideas we'd like to put forward about what's been happening in Twin Peaks... hypothetical spoiler alert!
Objectifying the squeezebox
Yesterday something cracked me up. The historian Amanda Vickery tweeted an article on Stylist magazine about celebrity bottoms and how they wished the women in pop would pop their bottoms away, especially people such as Jennifer Lopez who recently released a song about the female bottom with Iggy Azalea: "Now, we're not saying that every pop song should tackle the gender pay gap... but you would be forgiven for thinking that in 2014 our leading female pop stars might have associated themselves with a creative enterprise that's a little more, well... worthy of them." It's a funny article, but it struck me that it is not the nudity female pop singers increasingly seem to feel is required that is the problem. It is the fact that female pop singers and/or their lyric writers don't know how to sing about sex from any other perspective than a heterosexual cis man. Squeamish Kate writes...
Mean Girls vs Science
Girls, girls, girls. Why can't you just get on? All this bitchery and slagging off and cattiness? Where oh where do you get it from? It must be instinctive. Maybe cave women scratched each others eyes out and yanked out rival women's knotty hair. By the way did you hear about this Essex girl who said she was too pretty for online dating? Here's an incredibly unflattering photo of her that she probably did not use on her dating profile. No comment riiiiiiiight?! Who knew the Daily Mail needed a new Samantha Brick? And while we are discussing women who have the audacity to announce they reckon they are a bit alright have you seen that Karen Danczuk? The wife of a Labour MP who takes rather bosomy selfies and is also a Labour councillor but that's not for here. Shocking. I don't know who these women think they are. Squeamish Kate writes...
Wedding Hells
Having kind of based my writing schtick on being single and pointing out how everything seems to be designed for the smug marrieds and/or family it is probably unsurprising that I am awkward about being someone's fiancee. After nine months of not mentioning I have a boyfriend to people, I have now spent a month not mentioning I have a fiance to people. Having discussed my dislike for such terms as 'fiance/fiancee' however accurate they may be with my...fiance (we worked on a project together once so I'm toying with the term 'collaborator' or 'my betrothed') who sensibly refers to me as his fiancee, I discovered there are many women out there who cringe at titles such as Mrs, wife and fiancee. According to journalist Nona Willis Aronowitz she and a number of other married women use a "marital code-switch". Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Feminism Sells
Beyonce knows it, Taylor Swift didn't know it but now does know it, Lily Allen knows it and Emma Watson knows it. Feminism sells. This is either the trickle down effect of the Destiny's Child song Independent Woman or everyone is realising feminism makes a lot of sense. Or it is the trickle down effect ofIndependent Woman and advertisers have realised that a lot of women bought the shoes on their feet, as well as the clothes they're wearing and the rocks they're rocking. This is a market that encourages women to think they can buy strength in a shampoo bottle and now even Chanel is getting in on the act sending their models down the catwalk with faux feminist placards. The question is not what you can do for feminism but what feminism can sell to you...
Stage Feminism
I have always been a big fan of Annie Lennox but she's walking on broken glass with this one and got me asking Why? (see, big fan). The singer, song writer, activist and humanitarian ambassador has called Beyonce's brand of feminism "feminism lite". While out promoting her new album Nostalgia Lennox said of Beyonce's feminism: "It's tokenistic to me. I mean, I think she's a phenomenal artist - I just love her performances - but I'd like to sit down (with her). I think I'd like to sit down with quite a few artists and talk to them. I'd like to listen to them; I'd like to hear what they truly think." Talking to PrideSource Lennox also said that feminism "continues to be reframed". Why when it comes to Beyonce's relationship with feminism are many feminists so sceptical? Squeamish Kate writes...
Strong Attraction
One of the rather marvellous things about opinions is that they are individual and we can choose whether or not to share them. I have a lot of opinions and I choose to air them here alongside the views of others whose opinions tend to coincide with mine. One of the first rules Squeamish Louise and I came up with when creating Squeamish Bikini was a no snark rule. Which I tweaked when it looked like I was going to fall at the first hurdle and changed to a no snarking on the vulnerable rule. No snarking also covers a no sweeping statements rule. Now, fashion designer Stella McCartney does not have to adhere to SB house rules (it would be nice if everybody did though) but making statements regarding strong women and their lack of attractiveness seems a rather unwise snarky sweeping statement. Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: The Blues
Squeamish Sue has been experiencing some revelations since enrolling at Warwick university. She's also been dragging her mother to all manner of raucous music events. We don't know when she gets any uni work done...
Reading an article in a recent Big Issue prompted me to recall an event during my second year in uni, where a situation I was describing in a seminar was interpreted entirely differently by my tutor; an interpretation I was initially quite offended by until we thrashed out the pros and cons and I became receptive to a different view point. This thrashing process is something I was once entirely unfamiliar with and consequently unskilled at, until going to university. Discussion in my household was usually interpreted at 'answering back' and consequently I struggled in latter life. I didn't know how to do assertiveness without aggression, but at uni you are expected to speak and I am fortunately gradually being cured of this affliction. Squeamish Sue writes... Selfie Blaming
One of the main tricks to a good ad campaign is that you don't see the wheels turning. If you look at an advert campaign and imagine, not an aspirational image in which your life is improved by the subject of the advert, but a board meeting in which people deliver a slightly out of touch idea then it's failed. You see it in campaigns for yoghurt 'what concerns women the most?' 'Picking the kids up from school without looking bloated'. When I look at TfL's new #GetHomeSafeSelfie campaign urging women to be cabwise and not get into unbooked minicabs I do not see a surge in women getting home safe and recording the achievement. I see a TfL employee asking their senior if they have ever heard of selfies and the Twitter. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Inspiration
What's it all about? We bet that's what you're wondering this morning. Who doesn't start Friday with a bit of an existential crisis? No? Just us? Perhaps you've got it figured out, are supremely confident in the meaning of life, but feel like you'd just like some specific guidance, someone to tell you how to act. Or what to think. Luckily, there are plenty of people who will do that. The latest group are the British Humanist Association, who have bought a load of advertising space on the London underground in which they will share/promote some humanist beliefs. They should sit nicely alongside the posters reminding people that you'd really have to be frightfully rude to eat smelly food and the aspirational advertisements for holidays and designer watches. The thing is, we're not ones to avoid a bandwagon. And we have opinions. Plenty of them. So the Squeamish team have been racking their brains to decide what it is they would most like to tell their fellow (wo)men. What piece of advice would we emblazon on a poster in letters bigger than our own heads? Turns out we're a bit of a cynical bunch really...
A Touching Piece
What is it, to be a woman? There are plenty of factors (though not, I believe, the genitalia you were born with) that come together to create womanhood. A lot of them are good and one of them is that to be a woman is to at one point or another wonder if your body happens to protrude out so far that that man couldn't help but brush past it or...did you just get groped? Groping is a tough thing to talk about. Because the honking of a boob or slapping of a butt is often thought of as funny. As is the surprised 'ooh!' reaction it usually receives. As with many sexual assaults the embarrassment and shame is all put upon the victim. Squeamish Kate writes...
Bewitching Figures
Ah nostalgia. Remember when women were women and men were men and everyone was just bloody classy and lived in moderation but also smoked and drank cocktails from noon and lived in the countryside and left their doors open and the ladies were real ladies with curves and wore knickers, not that anyone would upskirt them. Gosh it all just sounds a bit lovely. Why did we ever start addressing things such as abuse and rape? It just rocks the lovely, lovely boat. Of course some people just can't shh and don't use the internet and media properly. The internet is for cats, memes comparing women's body shape fashions, sharing stolen images of nude women and unsolicited criticism. We know this, Emma Watson knows this. Or do we... Squeamish Kate writes...
Swab Team
Rare is the under age, or of age teenager/adult who discusses their sexual health or activity with a parent. This is probably wise. If we left it entirely up to the parents we may risk abstinence only education for all teens. Were I a parent I fear that, for all my championing of comprehensive sex education, I'd plump for this one when it came to my spawn, alongside gruesome images of sexually transmitted infections and tales of mysteriously absent friends and their woes that resulted from promiscuity. Forget stay in school, stay at home! However the more familiar a child or teen can be with the ins and outs of sexual health the healthier they will be as adults, which is why I'd let my little sheltered hypothetical kids take this new PSHE class. Squeamish Kate writes...
Welcome to the Boys' Club
When it comes to forced segregation the modern consensus is that it is a bad idea. We have enough unspoken segregation thanks to money and class as it is, so when it comes to written rules such as the ban on women joining the Royal and Ancient Golf Club St Andrews. While other people were frivolously deciding on whether or not Scotland should break free and say yes to independence and Alex Salmond (and therefore no to David Cameron and Alistair Darling) 2400 male members of the golf club were deciding via postal vote whether or not women should be allowed to join the club. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Balancing the Books
For Books' Sake has launched a petition a petition called Balance The Books. For Books' Sake was surprised to learn that in spire of women reading, buying and selling more books than men the specifications for GCSE English Literature features a decline in representation of women. They decided to take action and balance the books, calling for the exam boards to commit to gender equality in their GCSE English Literature specifications, along with better diversity in terms of race, class and sexuality. We have come up with some helpful suggestions for the exam boards to take into account when balancing up the books...
Dress sense is a virtue
Ok, so we had The Fappening and I think we all learned a lesson from it. Or rather we were helpfully informed that we should all learn from this with informative tweets revolving around one theme: ladies, if you don't want strangers to post stolen naked pictures on your they found from getting into your private iCloud account then stop taking naked photos of yourself!
The subtext of the lesson was this - ladies, people on the internet cannot be trusted to make any kind of judgement that involves respecting your privacy, therefore when you send anyone a nude photo you relinquish all rights to privacy, kthxbye. Squeamish Kate writes... Taking Pride
Have you seen Pride yet? It's a British film set around the National Union of Mineworkers' 1984 strike and focuses on a group of gay men and lesbians who decide to back the strike and end up setting up LGSM - Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners - and supporting a particular mining town in north Wales, telling the story of how these very different groups end up coming to know one another and work together. Squeamish Louise writes...
Figure Fathers
We hear a lot about motherhood. Women doing it wrong, women not being women until they are mothers, mothers ruining lives, dearly loved mothers, hugely resentful mothers, mothers who breastfeed, mothers who don't love their child enough to lactate, evil step-mothers, stay at home mums, working mums and momagers etc, etc. But you rarely hear about fatherhood. Not even to insult people, we say son of a bitch rather than son of a bastard or spawn of Satan. Discussions about fathers are often presented within the binaries of present and absent fathers. If a father is present then he is probably wonderful. If he is absent then he probably has his reasons. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 4...Mood Music
Some people out there are happy to sit quietly. Or rely on talk radio to fill the silence. Others still are happy to acknowledge the chaos of life and select 'shuffle' on their iPod or MP3 Player of choice. For the rest of us there is the noble playlist. Borne out of the superior mixtape from the olden days in which a friend or lover slaved over a tape player for hours deciding what you might like to hear the innovation that is Spotify means you can suit a playlist to your mood THIS INSTANT. The latest person to take advantage of this is Spotify employee Sofie Olofssen who created a PMS playlist. We have decided to take the liberty of creating some more playlists to anticipate your moods...
Fresh Spuculation
Live near a university? You have probably been fresher spotting then. Right this minute 18 and 19 year olds across the country are wandering what decorations will best convey their fun but deep personality in their new halls of residence, attempting to seem blase about drinking games, fending off tired cliches involved a diet of Baked Beans and being flummoxed by the microwave. They are also attending Freshers Fairs, picking up free things in plastic bags and joining (or not joining) various societies. At Dundee University however there will be one stand missing during Freshers week, that of SPUC. Squeamish Kate writes...
Hard Hitting Reflections
When not appraising women physically the media and general public like to comment on their silliness. Silly girl. A woman makes a choice others disapprove of and she's a silly girl. Whether or not it is a wise decision does not negate the fact that the person who has made it is a grown woman and we rarely know all the many reasons that have gone into her final decision. Nor does it change the gravity of the situation. Particularly when it comes to the subject of domestic abuse. If your only comment is 'silly girl' then you are taking the wrong things and people into account. (TW) Squeamish Kate writes...
Her Royal Uterus: The Second Coming
I logged onto twitter during a break at work yesterday to find my feed filled with pronouncements that a whole load of bad news was about to be buried, and that twitter was about to become unbearable (although those repeated messages do a good job of starting that off themselves...). What could have caused this? I'm sure you've guessed it was the announcement by a fairly well-known couple that they're expecting their second child. Yes that's right, it's Royal Baby 2: The Spare.
Hilary Mantel was vilified last year for suggesting that the media treat Kate as "a shop window mannequin whose only purpose is to breed" with a rush to portray those views as hers and not what she was describing in the press. But was she wrong? Squeamish Louise writes... Shame Traffic
Probably one of the cutest things going around on the internet right now are pet shaming photos. Pets, mostly dogs and cats, are posed next to the scene of the crime with a note announcing what they did, in first person. As though they wrote it themselves! Cute. It's cute. I'm serious. And informative, the amount of animals that eat their own poo and their neighbour's poo is shocking. Don't have a pet? Perhaps you have a recalcitrant teenager you'd like to publicly humiliate, or a cheating partner you want to punish. Because they are totes modern and down with the internet, police in California are stepping up a campaign of John shaming in a bid to combat sex work. Squeamish Kate writes...
A Quiz for Down Under
If you were to ask me to point out my spleen, or gesture to where I reckoned my kidneys were I might be able to give you the notion that I had an E in Biology AS level. I can also, after a night celebrating the 20th anniversary of Withnail & I, gesture to where my liver is. None of this is particularly impressive, though if it looks like I'm showing off it's because I am. These aren't body parts you can see, or necessarily feel so it's understandable that people who aren't medical professionals might be a little iffy on where certain internal vital bits are. Not to worry, just don't perform surgery any time soon, yeah? However when it comes to the vagina, the idea that women fail to identify it is not being modest, it's alarming... Squeamish Kate writes...
A Woman's duty
Now that Brangelina have sealed their union officially all totally sympathetic eyes are now on poor Award-winning actress Jennifer Aniston. Well all eyes are on her ring finger. And if they could all eyes would be on her uterus. The tabloids have long monitors the contents of Aniston's uterus. Because she is a uterus toting celebrity woman and the only thing that will truly salve the pain of losing Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie is surely a baby. Babies solve everything. Plus you guys, how awesome would Jennifer Aniston's maternity wardrobe be? AND this successful, rich actress is not getting any younger. So...y'know. Tick tock Aniston. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Future gadgets
It's the future, so where are our jetpacks and flying cars, huh? Well we might not quite be at the utopian dream of being able to create mid-air pile ups to rival those on our motorways, but there's all kinds of crazy advances in science and technology that would probably leave any visitor from the 50s totally discombobulated. We don't just mean the obvious, like how we all just take it for granted now that we carry the internet around in our pockets and can settle arguments by remotely accessing stores of the world's knowledge (even if the knowledge we're searching for is all too-often about which actor played the dad of that girl off that show with the theme tune, you know the one, rather than about, say quantum mechanics or how to build sustainable housing). Nope turns out that some of the more far-fetched sounding pieces of tech are being developed. There's even a prize for anyone who can develop something close to one of the tricorders from Star Trek - and they're getting close. So we wondered, if you could bring any piece of tech from TV or film into daily life what would it be and why?
The Space Race
Since Beyonce has announced her feminism Taylor Swift has realised that feminism is not a girl vs boys playground fight but a great way to court publicity, while fighting for equality. She's not the only one, recently a number of celebrity men have aired their feminist views, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ryan Gosling are among the young Hollywood set who happily discuss their support of equal rights and feminism. However, considering many a feminist has been hostile to Beyonce's feminism you might be wondering if, when a woman of colour is not accepted because she's too married, too private and too glitzy, we can possibly accept a high profile male getting on the feminist bandwagon. Squeamish Kate writes...
Miss. Judgement
This week crown court judge Mary Jane Mowat commented in aninterview given on her retirement as a circuit judge that rape conviction rates would never improve until women stopped drinking so much that they struggle to remember details of their assault. "It is an inevitable fact of it being one person's word against another and the burden of proof being that you have to be sure before you convict. I will also say and I will be pilloried for saying so, but the rape conviction statistics will not improve until women stop getting so drunk." This is a familiar situation, however this is not a case of a person saying women should not drink/wear provocative clothing if they want to avoid rape, but that if they do become the victim of an assault then, as in most criminal cases, a clear memory would work in their favour. Does that make Mowat's comments ok? Squeamish Kate writes...
Back to school for the birds and the bees
When did you learn about the facts of life. I'm not talking death and taxes. Nor do I mean when did you find out life's a bitch and then you die (though if you're asking that then I would have to tell you it was listening to the seminal soundtrack to Dawson's Creek). No you know what I mean. How old were you when you learned about the birds and the bees? About that special hug between a man and a woman who love each other very much? Did a parent tell you? Or did you hear about it in the playground? Or was it watching an educational video in a classroom desperately trying to conceal your appalled shock? The Lib Dems are proposing sex education in schools begin at the age of seven. Squeamish Kate writes...
Minaj makes an ass out of censorship
Occasionally we receive emails and tweets asking if we have noticed a certain news story or questioning why we haven't addressed such and such. I want to set all your fluttering minds at rest right now and tell you that the buttocks ofNicki Minaj have not escaped our attention. Minaj's butt has earned itself a lot of attention in its own right, and now it's being put centre stage with Minaj's new single Anaconda in an homage to both the thick body type and Sir Mix-a-lot. It's not the musical merit of the track that has got people talking - though I don't think anyone tires of the song I Like Big Butts, but the video which has been described as explicit and some journalists and social network users have registered their dislike of the video content. But why? Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Back to School
Whilst at school we probably all had our own ideas about how the curriculum should go. Maybe summer term dedicated to rounders and winter to design technology? More breaktime? Shorter days? The teachers were probably with you on those ones. Last week the Art Party announced their manifesto to get more art into the school curriculum and "protest against the Tories' philistinism". We have had a think and we would like school to involve more of these things please...
Someday my prince will be equal
Sometimes I read tweets or inspirational quotes (next to a photo of a sunset, on a beach) or just interview quotes that point out how feminism could, or would benefit everyone. This is not to suggest all the problems of the world would be solved under a matriarchy. It is to suggest that we readdress certain balances and factor in things such as childcare, equal pay and bodily autonomy. I'd like to think this is what we are working towards, the other option of course is that women simply return the general treatment and we see out the end of days trying to out-sexism each other. Sometimes it seems like that's the answer some women have come up with. Squeamish Kate writes...
All lawed up with nowhere to go
Qualifiers. Proof. When we are informed of something we usually demand some kind of proof. This is arguably a sensible way to avoid diet food, unqualified 'doctors' and healing crystals. However sometimes we can be too demanding. In the most sensitive of circumstances. For instance often those suffering from a poor relationship with food report being told they don't look like someone who is. This is dangerous. Then there's the case of domestic abuse. What does someone who is in an abusive relationship look like? Plenty of people will happily tell you exactly what such a person looks like and bruises probably feature in the description. It's easy to forget that abuse can take many forms, which is why the government has begun a consultation for a new criminal offence of domestic abuse that includes non violent behaviour. Squeamish Kate writes...
On the Fringes
I have recently returned from a trip to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe (actually if you are reading this at all promptly after posting then the likelihood is that I have not returned and am currently on a train eating a sandwich with difficulty because I have a slight overbite). While there I saw some fantastic female comedy talent. While it wasn't surprising to me that all of Edinburgh seemed to have been plastered in posters advertising all kinds of shows, I was surprised at how many of these were for women's stand up shows. These were glossy, witty posters, no surprise there as the Fringe is incredibly competitive, for women. These same women were treading the cobbles everyday handing out flyers and then many were performing to pretty respectable audience numbers. So why then at Fringe Central was there a panel asking about women in comedy at the Fringe? Squeamish Kate writes...
Othello by any other name
Think about this...Othello, but with the titular role played by a woman, meaning Othello and Desdemona's relationship is a lesbian one. That's an eye-catching idea and I was keen to see this production by By Jove Theatre Company.
The programme explained the rationale further - within Shakespeare strong female characters are limited - "Your options generally are limited to becoming a mad mother, spending most of your time crying, being driven mad or turning to suicide." This production aims to not only recast Othello but also to expand other female roles, reframing the story. To do this, director and writer SJ Brady has created new text, weaving this into the original play and re-ordering some parts, setting the story in the modern-day British army. Squeamish Louise writes... Friday 5...Free Stuff
Obviously if you ask anyone if they like free stuff they will say yes. If you ask someone if they like subsidised stuff they will probably say yes but resent the discounted price they still have to pay. This is because free stuff is superior. You know it, we know it. Some stuff is subsidised, or free, because it makes sense for it to be so. It is a necessity, as it were. Recently Jessica Valenti pondered upon the subject of tampons and sanitary towels (some of us cannot master the mooncup OK? OK) and how, for many menstruating people out there, the cost of them makes them a luxury. Valenti ventured the idea that perhaps there was a case for free tampons, the response to this was a bizarre barrage of abuse. So, at the risk of incensing the masses...here's what else we think should be free.
Content Warning content
Content warning: discusses suicide and suicidal ideation
How do you take in your news? Once upon a time I used to pick up two or three newspapers every morning and read the entire things on my way to work. My commute was far too long. But I also had an interest in what was going on around me that has shrunk as my personal world has grown. There are more distractions now in the form of partners, friends, work, volunteering, studying. And it's so much easier to access the odd news story here and there - read some headlines on my phone while I'm on the train; skim the front page of the beeb in between tasks at work; see what people are linking to from twitter on my lunch break - than it is to take one news source and digest the whole thing in one sitting. In my early twenties I worked briefly with (much older) a media consultant who was astonished to hear that I read the majority of my news online. I think today I would be more astonished to meet someone in that age group who doesn't. Squeamish Louise writes... Defend Fear
Remember when we were introduced to the pink taser, for ladies to use on lady attackers? If the ladyfication of razors, deodorants and biros are anything to go by I imagine it was twice to price as the normal taser that you could not expect a lady to use to defend herself with her lady hands. The Hello Kitty taser of course bumps the weapon up another price bracket as it's endorsed. By a kitty. But if tasing isn't your thing there are other forms of defence. You can learn self defence of course, so if your attacker kindly agrees to move into the correct position for you to flip them (or move back so you can amaze and astound them with a roly poly), pop a pepper spray in your bag or go with the good old fashioned keys between the knuckles thing. OR you can now get a Defender. Squeamish Kate writes...
Nurturing Cisterhood
Throughout my life I have consciously identified as all kinds of things, a leftie, a feminist, a shortarse. I have never had to question or announce that I am a woman. When I was born I was identified as female and I have just so happened to grow into a woman. I have experienced various biological and social happenings that are usually expected for those entering womanhood - though not all those who enter go through such things - I haven't experienced half of them. While I have never felt that glorious sensation of 'fitting in' I have never had the knowledge that this unsettled feeling is to do with my physical presentation and how it might cause people to read me incorrectly (apart from reading me as 'Awkward' and 'Not From Here'). If it was something I could change, it would seem obscene to me to ignore it. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Truth is more cliched than fiction
When it comes to relationships on Squeamish Bikini we have covered polyamory, bi-visibility and singleness, but we have yet to cover the subject of affairs, until now...
I've always thought of myself as an intelligent, spirited woman, a decent judge of character with a finely-honed bullshit radar. So imagine my surprise when I found myself shaking hands with the woman I had just been told was the fiancee of my boyfriend - or so I had thought - of three years. Anonymous writes... Friday 5...Tourist Tips
We've all been there, walking slowly behind a group of tourists. In fact, we've probably all been that tourist. You know the kind. Obviously 'not from round here', referring to their guidebook and clogging up the pavement, pointing and laughing at some run of the mill shop name or monument that you suddenly feel unusually protective of, or asking you to take their photo please. We definitely want to share our fair city/town/village/hamlet with tourists and for them to enjoy their visit. But... oh, tourists you make us want to punch you in the back of the head sometimes. So, we will give you correct directions and be gracious if you promise to take a look at our tips...
Bi Yourself
Bisexual? Perhaps you're also polyamorous, or monogamous and with someone of another gender. Maybe you are asexual or misanthropic or promiscuous. Maybe you're not quite sure if you're a 'good enough' bisexual, or if you're not queer enough, or perhaps a little too stereotypical. Sound familiar?
I just got back from Bicon, and as always my mind is buzzing (What's a Bicon? Read this and find out). There must be so many different Bicons. All those different sessions to attend - you could pick a theme and dip in and out; try lots of entirely new things; or just sit around chatting to people and catching up with the friends you might not see for another year. Squeamish Louise writes... Alice in Covent Garden
Mondays can be a bit meh. It's the start of the week and for some reason you feel like your bed has some kind of human capturing magnet attached to its underside. Why. Can't. You. Get. Up? After drudging through the day there's not much more to look forward to than laptop catch up TV in that very same-pillowed prison. Well not this Monday night! I was off to see Alice Through the Looking Glass at St. Paul's Church in Covent Garden. And it was a sunny summer's night too. The Iris Theatre production was back at this holy house and its green gardens for their 6th year. I had never been before and having the chance to wander into this grand old building was a treat in itself. Squeamish Nicola writes...
Hello boobs
I probably date myself when I ask if any of you remember the Hello Boys Wonderbra advert. Before that advert hit the streets apparently drivers had never seen cleavage, leading to the urban myth (according to Wikipedia) that the billboard accounted for many a road accident caused by distracted male drivers.
The year was 1994 and I was yet to hit puberty but I already knew my very distant future breasts (not future in a fun rocket boots way, they don't transport me anywhere or shoot laser beams sadly, future in the time sense) were now expected to be hoiked up to around ear height. Now it's 2014 and we remain in wonder of the breast. And why not? They are a pretty interesting body part. Squeamish Kate writes... Everyday sexism denial
The subject of maths is not one I enjoy. I took my maths GCSE so many times you'd think by the time I did pass it would be with an A because I should have memorised it by then. But I scraped a C. Maths and I will never hang out. Who I would like to hang out with is computer scientist Dame Wendy Hall. Why? Well I don't really want to chat maths and computer science with her but Listening to Wendy on Desert Island Discs frankly discuss the sexism she has experienced I realised something that has crept in. Sexism denial. Women who manage to get to a certain point and then are afraid to call sexism out or discuss the sexism they did experience on their career climb. Everyday Sexism is one thing, providing a platform for Everyday Women to vent the harassment and sexism they encounter. But successful women seem to prefer to give the impression they live in a world without sexism. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5 Cobain casting
We're not sure if you've noticed, but we have something of a soft spot for Courtney Love over at Squeamish HQ. She's a fierce rocker and we love her for it. It's a shame, according to some of the team, that she'll always be best known to some people as Kurt Cobain's ex-wife, when she should be known and celebrated in her own right. It doesn't look as if that's about to stop, either, with news that there's a new movie about Cobain's life in the works. The difference is, this one's being produced by Love. With all the rumours, gossip and nastiness that have swirled around their story, it makes some sort of sense that she would want to commit her side of things to film. It's a chance to tell the story her way. But who will play the main role? With Love looking for someone to cast, we thought we'd throw our suggestions into the ring...
Goodbye little miss perfect
It's probably reasonable to say that today's teenagers are under more pressure than ever. They are under pressure for results that will then be sneered at because the exams they take aren't nearly as challenging as what they examined you on in your day. They are under pressure to be successful and find a job and maybe even a flat in an increasingly competitive market. They are under pressure to negotiate social networking - a thing no responsible adult has yet perfected due to its youth. There are also the real life social pressures and while teenage boys have their struggles the quest for a certain kind of perfection that many a teenage girl doggedly pursues is still unique to them. What their aiming to be is Little Miss Perfect. Squeamish Kate writes...
Rank Feminism
A frustrating thing that happens when you are trying to express righteous feminist anger at a situation or subject is being told how you should react, and what would warrant a more passionate reaction. You, it seems, rarely manage to pick the right cause to get worked up about. You need someone to help you, someone with a science background maybe. Who believes only in their own highly evolved thought process. Someone with a mind that likes to organise and rank things. Someone with a Twitter account. Someone who can succinctly rank the tough subjects other people might not touch, such as paedophilia or rape. Of course Richard Dawkins's name had come up before I even made a list of requirements and fortunately he's already stepped up with several tweets informing us what kind of paedophilia and rape crimes we should be more upset by. Squeamish Kate writes...
Shedding menstrual myths
There are a few things that we seem to be very behind on. World peace, equal pay, education and so on and so on. We are also very behind on acknowledging and discussing periods. Discussing periods with who? EVERYBODY! As well as not discussing the shedding of blood from the uterus, we don't discuss the various items, such as 'sanitary products', nor do we find ourselves idly chatting about various medical products that influence how we menstruate, such as the IUD coil, the pill, tranexamic acid tablets or the injection. Why is this? Dunno, probably because menstruation combines the two things we have universally agreed are gross: vaginas and blood. Squeamish Kate writes...
Harassment through a lens
I'm a white, well-educated, able-bodied, middle class male, which puts me in a very privileged position in society. I'm aware of this, it's given me lots of opportunities that others don't get and shielded me from the abuse and harassment a lot of people receive. When I was asked to write an article giving a male-perspective on how I feel about the Cards Against Street Harassment I was dubious if I could do it - it certainly takes me out of my comfort zone of writing about comic book characters. Gareth writes...
friday 5 opening ceremony
The most important part of any and every sporting event is not the sports, not the alleged use of performance enhancing drugs, not the sponsors, not even the hosts - even if they appear to have questionable human rights records, but the opening ceremony. This week we saw the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games in Scotland (uh, we were not implying earlier that Scotland has a questionable human rights record). There was a lot of tartan, Rod Stewart and a kiss from John Barrowman. With all the drama we thought perhaps other things could benefit from an opening ceremony, here are some of our ideas...
Catcalling out anti-feminism
No-one should be particularly surprised that there are people who are against feminism. Not just because it is logical to assume that if some people are for an ideology then there must be people against it, but because sometimes at first glance feminism doesn't look all that palatable. Yes it's puzzling, why would you think the idea that women and girls deserve equal rights isn't for you? Perhaps it is not so much that you think women should be the underdogs of humanity but you wish to stress your desire all genders receive equal rights. This is, at its core, what feminism means, rather than any argument for female supremacy. So why do people mistake it for the latter? Squeamish Kate writes...
Sex Worker Aid
After the terrible loss of life on the Malaysian Airlines flight MH17, including six AIDS researchers and activists who were on their way to an International AIDS conference in Australia it seems that work in this medical field is particularly bleak right now. However, even though there has been much loss, there is some interesting news emerging from HIV and AIDS research. Namely condoms that have an antiviral compound to protect against HIV, Herpes and other STDs and the news that the Lancet has called for global action to protect sex workers from HIV and AIDS by decriminalising sex work. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Freedom to end FGM
Today UK government will be hosting the Girl Summit with UNICEF. The summit is focusing on ending female genital mutilation, as well as early and forced marriage. According to UNICEF statistics over 125 million women and girls today - not ever, now, today - have been cut. UNICEF fears that if current trends continue "as many as 30 million girls are at risk of being cut before their 15th birthday. This summit is intending to galvanise a global effort to end "child, early and forced marriage and FGM for all girls within a generation" thereby promoting education, freedom and safety for more women and girls in the future. Squeamish Kate writes...
Sex ed & the Teenage Boy
We have witnessed over and over again people trying to educate women and girls who seem to simply not know how to not get raped. It's super easy, don't drink, don't wear provocative clothing, don't express any sexuality, don't go outside. But these women and girls just don't listen. So it seems we might have to turn to go a little extreme. We're going to have to suggest boys and men try not to rape. Oh I know this is very simplistic. Not ALL men or boys rape. However, when you're constantly reduced to silly females who get drunk and therefore get what's coming to them (thank you for your advice Joanna Lumley et al) it's hard not to generalise RIGHT BACKATCHA! Last week Shadow Home Secretary Yvette Cooper wrote in the Independent suggesting we educate boys that it's not really acceptable to think abuse (verbal and physical) is normal. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 4...David's Dudes
Ah Cameron has been doing the reshuffle. Guaranteed to encourage everyone to take their eyes off the action and worry about who's sitting where in the cabinet. Teachers might breathe a mistaken sigh of relief that Gove is trapped in the loo, no longer able to meddle in education, feminists lean in (see what we did there?) to note the women appointed to top jobs and this means the media has one question: What did Cameron's Cuties wear on the catwalk that is Downing Street? We know what's important and it's shoes not views, so we have come up with a little run down of the Tory male fashion...
Sex & the marvel universe
In news seemingly designed to one up David Cameron's female focused cabinet reshuffle Marvel today announced that Thor is to become a woman. From October Thor's comic will restart from issue 1 and feature a new female lead who has inherited the magical hammer Mjolnir and the associated powers that come with it. This has brought the same tired old troglodytes out of the woodwork who protested when the amazing Idris Elba was cast as Heimdall and they got upset that it was unrealistic for a black man to play the role of a magical space god (extremely) loosely based on a Norse myth. Gareth writes...
Ageing Gratefully
When we talk about why we are feminists - or why we are not feminists - we usually throw out buzzwords and terms such as 'equality' or 'birth control' or 'equal pay' or 'bodily autonomy', 'access to education' and 'safety'. But what are we really fighting for - or kicking against? Well according to Tom Junod in the August addition of Esquire magazine feminism's main contribution to women (nay, humanity) is to achieve the unachievable. Sisters, we made 42 attractive: "Conservatives still attack feminism with the absurd notion that it makes its adherents less attractive to men; in truth, it is feminism that has made forty-two-year-old women so desirable." At first glance this might seem unimportant and frivolous, but is it actually quite an important part reaching equality? Squeamish Kate writes...
Why stephen fry?
We all need friends. People who give us a shoulder to cry on, laugh at our jokes, sympathise with our problems. What sort of support can you expect from a good friend? Maybe buying you lunch when you're broke; helping you to move house; driving out to pick you up from where you've stranded yourself when your car breaks down. Or how about making headlines nationally by criticising a wide-ranging investigation into sexual abuse in the name of defending your honour? Because if you happen to be a friend of Stephen Fry, actor, gadget fan and self-appointed fact master, then that's the level of support you can expect. Squeamish Louise writes...
Remote Chance of Chip contraception
When you think about the future, what do you envisage? Rocket boots? Meals reduced down to a pill? Robot servants? Remote control contraception? Yeah it's featured in all the sci-fi movies and films set in the future. In fact in Back to the Future II all the ladies are zapping their contraceptive chips right? That's what the kids will call it. Apparently come 2018 a 'remote control' contraceptive chip will be available and I like to think a whole host of family sitcoms will feature baffled dads trying to change the TV channel with their daughter's contraception remote will follow. This form of contraception does not actually appear to be quite as exciting as it sounds, until you hear doctors discussing how the device can't be hacked. Hacked! Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Tech Magazine covers
It has been announced that the UK's biggest selling gadget magazine Stuff will no longer feature covers that show a girl in a bikini. This is because often gadgets tend to run a bit hot and if you're in a bikini it increases your risk of laptop thigh burn. Another reason cited by Stuff is that its readership demographic has shifted and is now 40% of their readers are women. The magazine ran sales tests on the April, May and June issues with 20% of the print run featuring 'non-girl' covers in four regions in the UK. These covers proved to be far more popular than the girl covers.
But what will Stuff magazine feature on their covers now to draw in the masses? What do men AND women like looking at if not women in bikinis? We have had a think and come up with these suggestions... Artwork for the general pubic
To be honest I think we're all kind of bored of the pubes debate. We are passed all the flustered magazine articles asking if you have seen that Sex and the City scene (I've never seen Sex and the City) in which Carrie gets a Brazilian wax. Hollywood starlets have overcome that peculiar phase of teaming breezy short skirts with a pantless state, which was of course the best way to show that they had a Brazilian betwixt their legs - as it were. The debates over whether or not porn is the main influence for receding pubic hair are ebbing away and the questions over hygiene have been answered, it makes little difference. We don't live in some kind of nether region utopia in which your pubic grooming regime is deemed 'your business' but I'd venture to say we've relaxed a little bit over whether or not a landing strip is the exception or the rule. So it's surprising to learn that an art work by Leena McCall has been removed from the Mall Gallery in London having been deemed: "too pornographic and disgusting". Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: Evading the Bin police
The results are in, resident mature student Sue is disappointed with her exam marks but there's always the risk of an oozing hip to distract her, shin gouging or a big clear out on the down low...
My mum's hernia surgery was scheduled for 1st July but was cancelled at the eleventh hour because of the discovery of a potential liver problem she has. Naturally we are all glad of the intervention but wish we could have been alerted sooner than 12 hrs before surgery was due to take place. My sister had flown over from Spain, and I had endured a 5 hour sit in on the M25 only to be diverted off onto the M11, the A406 which is the lovely lovely North Circular Road, and then onto the A13. Rather selfishly my first concern was not for the poor souls involved in the awful pile up, but for my weak bladder and the thought of having to pop a squat on the hard shoulder. Squeamish Sue writes... Coming Forward
Music fans, art lovers and injured animal carers were recently horrified to learn they had been listening to and watching a sexual predator. The disgraced TV presenter and entertainer Rolf Harris has been sentenced to five years, nine months in prison for 12 indecent assaults against four girls - one aged between seven or eight. Since judgement has been passed on Harris, Vanessa Feltzhas announced that she was assaulted by Harris live on air, only to receive a barrage of abuse online. As Vanessa said when commenting on the hostile reaction she has received: "You think if people react like that, you can see why people don't come forward...I'm 52 and I can handle myself so imagine if I was a seven-year-old child, or 12 or 17...I'm not saying just if it's someone famous, but imagine if it was your dad, uncle or teacher...The kind of reaction I have had, I found so upsetting. I was upset by the outpouring of misogyny and hatred". Squeamish Kate writes...
Cocktail of Morals
Did you see the disgusted articles recoiling at the boys caught on camera who all allowed a girl to perform a sex act on them, one after the other? Did you read about the venue and party organisation Carnage Magaluf that encouraged boys to line up and allow a girl to perform sex acts on them? Those dirty, dirty boys.
No, of course you didn't. It wasn't presented like that. The boys and the venue who took part in the incident (that I don't think is by any means isolated - I've seen Sun, Sea and Suspicious Parents) hardly featured in the reports. Instead the focus is on the girl. Which is nice, usually any female in a news story featuring men doesn't get precedence but in this one she does! Why? Because she performed a sex act - as part of a game to win a prize in Magaluf. Squeamish Kate writes... friday 5...like a girl
What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. Obviously. That's why they dissolve in water and never ever cause any trouble. Or maybe they're made of flailing, uncoordinated limbs and muscles barely strong enough to hold them together. That seems to be the strange idea we're embodying when we say that somebody "throws [or runs/hits/kicks] 'like a girl'". Always have picked up on this in their new ad, which went viral at the beginning of the week. Adults and boys who are asked to do things 'like a girl' embody the stereotype, but the girls themselves haven't got the message - they go all-out, as hard as they can. We can't quite silence any cynicism - after all what Always really want is for you to buy their sanitary products [don't. Just get amooncup. And stop calling them sanitary products, there's nothing unsanitary about periods]. But there's no denying it's a good film, and it got us musing on what it means to do something like a girl...
The Veiled threat
Remember various primary school reading matter that was aimed at embracing difference? I recall a book called But Martin! in which a green alien comes to school for the day. No questions asked. He just enrolled and hung out. The children didn't discuss how they didn't 'see colour' even though they were somehow aware their new class mate was green. Nor did they gang up on Martin or fear him because he was different. Instead in the book I believe Martin is really good at maths and helps them out and then the book notes the children, Lee, Lloyd, Billy and Angela's various different physical features and the activities they like to take part in and are good at. They all enjoy each others company and learn from each other. Low level celebration of differences. No biggie. Meanwhile in the adult world... Squeamish Kate writes...
is the smear just PAP?
To be a woman in this day and age it seems is to be constantly poked and prodded. Or to request to be poked and prodded and denied. Even though few women look forward to their smear test, so you'd think a request for a smear would either be welcomed (welcome to the prodding and poking era of your life!) or raise suspicion that something must seem very wrong. Either way, when it comes to the vulva invasive prodding and poking is apparently regularly required. However the Annals of Internal Medicine (you shh, this is SCIENCE) has reported that in gynaecologists in America, where those with a vulva are informed they should have an annual pelvic examination, are perhaps getting a little too rigorous and that an annual check up is not necessary. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Gender Casting Couch
She was introduced to us in a film about football, actually she was introduced to us - curiously eyebrowless - in The Bill I believe but Bend it Like Beckham was her big break. Since finding fame as a sporty tom boy Keira Knightley has slightly changed tack, going from be-corseted pirate princess to inaccurately portraying Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire (not her fault - read the book, it's brilliant) with a break playing the totes historically accurate Guinevere in 2004's King Arthur. However in spite of a highly successful film career we are probably most familiar with Keira from various Chanel adverts, silently wearing beige leather and her signature pout. It is therefore surprising to see her publicly desiring more interesting and gritty female roles and criticising how men direct women in films. Squeamish Kate writes...
can you be a feminist and...
It seems that ever since Caitlin Moran published How to be a Woman feminist sympathising editors have been sitting in their Carrie Bradshaw style apartments, chain-smoking at their Mac and getting to wondering 'can you be a feminist and..?' Can you be a feminist and [insert absolutely anything here] is a new regular feature that various departments in magazines and newspapers take turns on because it can be applied to anything. Fashion (can you be a feminist and wear heels?), lifestyle (can you be a feminist and a stay at home mum?), home (can you be a feminist and decoupage?), politics (can you be a feminist and anti-choice?). You can even use it if you have a regular column (can you be a feminist and reject the label of cis?). Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Couple Nicknames
Recently the New Republic published an article on the increasing use of 'baby' as a term of endearment between lovers. Thanks to the New Republic's research (Googling) we know that calling your loved on 'baby' has been around for a while "According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it was in the seventeenth century that 'baby' was first used as a romantic term of endearment."
They covered the reasons why the name baby, babe or sweetheart might be used as romantic nicknames but they didn't cover why we find it so ANNOYING. So we have done our own research and here are our reasons why couple's baby talk unsettles us... A Song falling on deaf ears
So, you're Robin Thicke yeah? Your last hit which was totally feminist because a woman directed the video has been heralded as an anthem for the crime of rape. Where oh where do you go next, artistically speaking? oh, I know, stalking.
Inspired by his personal life in which his wife has left him Robin Thicke has written an entire album dedicated to said wife, called Paula. That's the album and his wife's name. The album and single Get Her Back is all about getting Paula back. Like a lost toy. Oh, is it catchy? Or is it just all, you know...heavy breathing? Squeamish Kate writes... Ging Gang No Goolies
It's summer and we know from watching American films and children's shows that that means summer camp (in America, not here - duh). We also know that summer camp is a time for personal revelations, jumping into a massive, picturesque lake, first kisses and first periods. Maybe a little bullying, but that's where a lot of the personal revelations stem from and definitely some kind of amusing misunderstanding - preferably involving a cute animal and a short tempered camp leader. Or this is what I've gleaned from the information available. However camp has taken a new form in No Body Talk summer camps. Eden Village is one such summer camp, the mirrors at this camp have written on them: "Don't check your appearance, check your soul." Squeamish Kate writes...
Engineering the Gender Balance
There are certain things that we continue to treat as kind of a mystery. Things that we are happy to simply comment on with a shrug and 'I suppose we will never know'. Things like 'if women are funny, why aren't female comedians as successful as men?' or 'why aren't more women entering politics?' or 'how come girls aren't trying to get into engineering and science?' Of course, we do know. We know it's a case of societal norms, being made to feel uncomfortable in the workplace and good ol' fashioned sexism. It's a case of expectations and discouragement. The worst thing about this issue is that often those who for whatever reason have been fortunate enough to be able to get into their desired professional field often have little empathy for those who report difficulty. 'Why don't they just do it?' Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: Almost Famous
They grow up so quickly, it seems like only yesterday Squeamish Sue was working away on her Access course and attending Warwick university seemed an unreachable dream. Now she's finished her second year as a mature student in Sociology at Warwick and appears to be their new mature mascot...Even though we found her first.
Well, that's second year done! In addition to eight hours of exams I also had four pieces of assessed work to submit, comprising two 3000 word essays and two 5000 word research projects. Feedback and marks for the exams won't be in until all are complete. Feedback and marks on assessed work is all now in. Squeamish Sue writes... Friday 5...summer coping skills
It is the Summer Solstice tomorrow, with some people questioning if it is definitely summer - refusing to loosen their woolly scarf just in case - and others resolutely donning their shorts from May onward. We know that in the UK we don't do summer well. Yes everyone's very enthusiastic when the sun does come out. There is Pimms and if you like tennis and stuff like that you are fine come summer. Everybody loves a barbecue, once the veggie/meat cooking etiquette has been established. But think of those who wilt in the heat, or are sceptical about a day remaining lovely from dusk till dawn and daren't leave the house without a pac-a-mac packed. What should they do once winter/spring definitely breaks into summer? We share our summer coping skills...
Men Take the floor
The slogan 'Nothing About Us Without Us' - which Wikipedia helpfully informs me is 'Nihil de nobis, sine nobis' in Latin - is important because so many decisions that govern certain people's lives are made without their consent or their sometimes vital input. For instance it is rare a sex worker is asked about their safety and profession, instead we hear from columnists who are squeamish about the sex trade or sceptical about the adults who choose to enter it. Whilst it is occasionally understandable, for instance there are few incidents in which 4 year old children are consulted for good reason, it was surprising to see an image from the Global Summit of Women with only men on the stage. Squeamish Kate writes...
Harassing the point
You know how in fairy tales, fables or Mr Men books often the villain, or animal in the wrong gets a taste of their own medicine and that's how they learn the error of their ways? It is perhaps a more interesting twist in the plot, preferable to a scene in which the victim explains to the perpetrator why what they are doing is wrong. We like to see the victim turn hero and we like to see those in the wrong get their comeuppance. In real life however it doesn't always work like that. Anti-feminists, MRAs etc often use the phrase 'double standards' when a problem for women usually caused by men is turned on its head, thereby seemingly dismissing it without examining the details. What happens when women start to mimic male harassment? Squeamish Kate writes...
The Paternal Truth
It was Father's Day on Sunday, which meant the paternal figure in your life - whether they are around or not - was probably on your mind. A new trend on the social networking sites for such fake celebratory days (in Portugal they have Children's Day, which I discovered at 10. When I asked my mother why we didn't have Children's Day in the UK she growled [with fake exasperation, not because my mother is a bear] "Everyday is Children's Day) is to post darling photos from years ago when you were a kid and your dad still reasonably svelte, out and about. It would not be a wild generalisation to suppose these photos were taken on a weekend and not while your daddy was on paternity leave. It was and peculiarly is still something that most regard as 'just not done'. So will centre-left think tank IPPR's idea that paternity leave and pay should be doubled change our feelings about paternity leave? Squeamish Kate writes...
educating sue: Listening in
Uni is almost out for summer now and Squeamish Sue, our resident mature student, will not be spending her freedom watching the World Cup, instead she will be trying to get an accurate recording of her neighbours...
Exams are almost over, three down and one to go and then I will have finished my second year. We have already had to attempt a subject choice so a mentor can be assigned to us, and in the first week of the September term we have to hand in a literature review, so that means a lot of work over the summer break. Squeamish Sue writes... Friday 5...Lib Dem Pub Names
Nick Clegg has been pretty busy lately. Posing with the Sun newspaper (with a suspiciously clear desk behind him), uh, he's probably eaten lunch a few times, fended off an attempted putsch (putsch by poll, that would suck) and gone down the pub with Vince Cable because they are mates, guys. Total mates. And why not, they've got nothing else on, being photographed with a pint in hand works for Nigel Farage. In fact Nick Clegg even pulled a pint (the photo shows he went for London Pride rather than Iron Maiden's Trooper) which is something to put on the old CV. Just in case, always good to have a fall back. But while we know the drapes would be yellow, what would a proper Lib Dem pub be called? Here are some of our suggestions...
A Feminist is...
Pharrell Williams, having released an album inspired by the support he has received from women over his lifetime, recently said it was "not possible" for him to be a feminist (oh, it's possible for him to dress up as a Native American but not to take on the feminist badge). It's something that cis female feminists haven't agreed upon, can men be feminists? Or only pro-feminists or 'equalists'? While Pharrell feels he isn't qualified to identify a group of young men have taken a course in feminism at their high school. They have since been filmed by their teacher discussing what they have learned about feminism and whether or not they identify as feminists. Squeamish Kate writes...
A game of two sexes
That dread time of the year is fast approaching, pubs are buying in TVs and Sky subscriptions, lager is displaying sponsorship deals and offices are preparing sweepstakes. It seems to me like every year there is a World Cup, but I am assured this is not true and the nations are starved of World Cuppery for four years. I, like many people simply don't like football. But I don't like a lot of things, many of these disliked things fall under the category of sport - so why does football irk me so much? Could it be because football seems to be the sport which, when presented by the media and advertising, works hardest to keep women out? Painting them as nagging ball and chains who interfere with men's beer drinking, TV watching and nylon shirt wearing. Amirite lads? Is it any wonder incidents of domestic violence against women rises during the World Cup? Squeamish Kate writes...
The penis mightier than the sword
When we speak of war, when we speak of past wars we speak of young men lost before their lives have truly begun. Of battle. Of triumphs. Speak of the Second World War and we might mention the home front and of women taking on men's jobs, or cooking with rations. When it comes to war and sex it seems we can't help but romanticise it. Films and books about war often feature a young unwed couple deciding that love conquers all and the girl (this is always a hetero couple) allowing the boy to finally get a quick fiddle beneath her chemise. I'm sure this was and is the reality for some people. War is so terrible we can perhaps be forgiven for wishing to sentimentalise it on occasion. However when we talk about war and sex we need to talk about sex being used as a weapon of war. Squeamish Kate writes...
Smells like ASA restrictions
We aren't all marketing executives but we are all aware - whether we agree with it or not - that sex sells. The notion of sex is used to sell things where you can follow the thought process: perfume, underwear, toothpaste (nobody wants to kiss you with morning/coffee/smoky breath and if you need to be told that via sexy toothpaste ads then so be it I say. So be it.) and to sell things that until now you had no clue could ever be linked to sex. Such as cheeseburgers. By the way if any of you are in advertising might I suggest you start using sex to sell cleaning products? Bet you thought I was going to go all Bill Hicks on your asses. No I just think if people thought the cleanliness of their loo could affect their chances they might clean them more often. Just a thought. But let's return to logical sex selling. Perfume. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Slang
Do you ever meet someone from your past and realise after half an hour of catching up that your voice has... changed? Vowels widening or slang you hadn't thought about in 20 years suddenly popping out of your mouth as if you use them every day? There are so many varieties and kinds of English and the way we talk can pin our upbringing down to within a few miles. But might all that change. It might sound like one of those manufactured moral panics that crop up every so often - 'the ubiquity of American television is homogenising our language!' 'there's no such thing as regional accents any more!' But then again, apparently some accents and dialects really are at risk of dying out What a shame that would be. If there's one thing that makes English interesting, it's the hugely different number of ways of saying the same thing. And, let's face it, the potential for comedy contained within that as well - ask an American for a fag and enjoy their confusion until they ask you for their thongs and get annoyed when you pass them pants instead of flip-flops. We're not sure that English is going to be standardised any time soon, but it does seem like a good time to think about some of our favourite examples...
Feminist Terror
Feminists no doubt often wonder if they are making any impact on the word at all. People seem to think they are a movement of the past, that feminists haven't walked the earth since the braless 1970s, or that feminism is no longer required. So perhaps it is encouraging to see there's now a Change.org petition urging the US government to classify feminism as a terrorist organisation. Janet Wilkinson believes it is time feminism stopped interfering with men and women who have chosen a lifestyle and which to stick with it. Yeah you thought feminism was about allowing men and women et al to pick the lifestyle that's right for them and have the freedom to live it in safety but Janet says you are wrong, wrong, wrong. Squeamish Kate writes...
Let the right vamp in
People love Vampires right? I was blessed with the coming of the Vampire Slayer; Buffy ran the full length of my teenage years. My 12 year old cousin, not so lucky, received the offering of sappy sparkliness that was the Twilight Saga but for those adults who still have a taste for the undead without the poster boys, the 2008 film Let the Right One In resurrected the classic love and death tale with a oddly mature and retro retelling. Its transformation from Swedish book to Swedish film to American remake (with the more manageable title of Let Me In - yes, five words was too much and we like our film titles to be plaintive!) but our thirst for the little girl vampire centuries old did not stop at this medium. Squeamish Nicola writes...
fertility, fertility, fertility
Hi! Are you a cis woman? Quick, yes or no. OK if you can concentrate over the deafening sounds of your biological clock (tick tock) answer this: fertility of career? Quickly, quickly you haven't got all day. Or all your twenties even. Oh yeah if you're over 27 you're disqualified from that question, your decision was made for you and we hope you like your job, you career gal you. Bit selfish though. Yeah someone else has gone on the record suggesting women have babies as early as acceptably possible. This time it's Location, Location, location's Kirstie Allsopp. But is that really what she said? As a childless woman who, in Telegraph and Daily Mail years, is fast approaching barrenness and regret I'm regularly pitted against women who had babies in their twenties. Fertility doesn't have time for career building, we're regularly told, but is this a question of the fertility clock or capitalism's time table? Squeamish Kate writes...
Misogyny, May I...
The month of May 2014 brought us much to despair about. It was the month that misogyny became visible. There's always a body count that shows misogyny is still here, but it seems there's no glory for politicians or celebrities in talking about domestic violence or what is perhaps best described in current online terms as 'Everyday VAWG'. Yawn. Sort it out ladies. I address the ladies because the impression is repeatedly given that the women affected put themselves in their terrible situation. But so what if they did? They are still not the perpetrator. So why was May different? Well several things happened that could not be so easily connected to a short skirt and an alcopop. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Book recommendations
This week Michael Gove stole some of Farage's pint drenched spotlight when the OCR exam board (which we all agree is our favourite exam board - though Squeamish Kate has a penchant forWJEC) implied that Gove had banned them from putting American classics To Kill a Mockingbird and Of Mice and Men on their English GCSE syllabus in his new guidelines. Gove said he had done nothing of the sort and the intention of his new guidelines that appear to ban books was to broaden the books for young people to study at GCSE. Although rumour has it that Gove really, really hates the book Of Mice and Men. Like, really hates it. Anyway with our eye on broadening what books teenagers should be reading we have come up with our own book list for Gove and the OCR exam board to consider...
What about teh boyz
It might be a little tiresome, occasionally unhelpful, often kind of amusing when feminists on twitter use the hashtag #WhatAboutTehMenz. It's usually employed when a feminist writes about an issue and how it impacts on women, in which they do not once state that the chosen issue doesn't affect men in anyway. A man (usually) will respond noting that this is not exclusive to women. Or point out something completely unrelated that involves male suffering. Here's the thing: we aren't dismissing male suffering, or refusing to recognise it - we don't literally exist in separate spheres. It's just there seems to be a lot of things that people don't appear to have noticed when it comes to living as a woman. As a woman one looming issue is that of victim blaming. Many attempts are being made to show that what's needed is not more modesty among ladykind, but more education for the boys. Squeamish Kate writes...
The stags among the hens
Now that the Kimye union is official we can all agree that Kanye West and the Kardashians have declared wedding season 2014 open. Rather than keep details of the day under wraps, risking tabloids being filled with fuzzy undercover images of the nuptials the couple appear to have encouraged friends and family to Instagram the heck out of their special day. The bride's hen do in Paris was photographed for all to see and not a single plastic penis was captured on camera. Though I get the feeling Kris is the kind of Cool Mom who would have been REALLY! AMUSED! by a plastic peen. HA! HAHA! 'Cos she's a Fun Mom. I'm not sure what went down at Kanye's stag but it appears he managed to steer clear of any questionable incidents with an flight attendant's bottom. Unlike another stag on a flight back from Spain. Squeamish Kate writes...
Can we embrace body positivity?
I frequently find myself writing about the same thing here. It might be shooting myself in the foot to reveal this to you. Obviously I'm always writing something that is vaguely linked to feminism - that's not the pattern. But what repeatedly comes up is body acceptance and how some companies (Dove) try to use it to create positive campaigns that peculiarly end up portraying women as kind of silly. Taryn Brumfitt posted a non traditional 'before and after' image of herself when she had a svelte body builder's figure (before) and of herself naked, with a less toned, softer physique (after) a year or so ago and apparently it took the world by storm - though this is the first time I have ever seen it. Since the worldwide reaction to her picture Brumfitt has decided to record a documentary on body image and her own struggle with self acceptance. Squeamish Kate writes...
The supreme misogyny
The essay written and emailed to Elliot Rodger's therapist and parents reads like a sycophantic Who's Who entry, detailing the family's lineage and success: "Peter is of British descent, hailing from the prestigious Rodger family; a family that was once part of the wealthy upper classes before they lost all of their fortune during the Great Depression..." It goes on to describe a halcyon childhood that even the Pevensie children might read with a touch of cynicism: "I enjoyed life with innocent bliss. I can remember playing in the fields and going on long walks with Ah Mah to pick berries." They are not the works of a great autobiography in which a countryside childhood gives way to a miserable puberty over which the writer triumphs. Nor, however, are they the rantings of a mad man. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Candidates
Yesterday was voting day. Did you vote? Did you go in knowing exactly where you were going to place your X? Did just hope you'd have the option of the Monster Raving Loony party to vote for? Or did you look at the list of parties ("Oh Nina, what a lot of parties") and candidates and spoil your ballot for want of someone to vote for? Well, this might finally be the Friday 5 for you. We have come up with a list of people (animal, vegetable, mineral) who we think should consider entering politics. Start an online petition if you agree.
Deaf Awareness Week Awareness
Around 15% of the British population - 10 million people - are deaf to some extent. According to Voscur this means that out of every 1,000 people, "one will be profoundly deaf and 100 will have some hearing loss (perhaps due to age, illness, accident or exposure to excessive noise)". And that figure is expected to rise to 14.5 million people by 2031. Which means everyone reading this will know someone who is deaf to some extent. But did you know that it's Deaf Awareness Week? Squeamish Louise writes...
Ovary-Acting at the office
A few years ago I went through an odd phase of getting a nosebleed just before I left for work. I unscientifically linked it to the pressure of working two jobs for the price of one ("Kate, the administration director is leaving, do you want to take over their duties as well as continuing with your PR work for no extra pay?" "no" "So for all admin stuff, go to Kate") and once I left the nosebleeds stopped. Each time I thought "oh no, I'm going to have to call in nerd" but then my nosebleed would stop in time to catch the train and the misery could resume. Had the blood been menses and my job based in Taiwan I would have been able to call in menstrual. The Guardian is taking a poll asking if menstrual leave should be adopted over here. Squeamish Kate writes...
Sex Education Scare
The notion of virginity has had a rocky journey, going from a necessary virtue to an embarrassing burden to a shiny accessory worn by Disney stars. Some people think it's real and others think it's a concept. Considering the hymen can be stretched (not broken. Unless you go for really vigorous horse rides) by any number of innocent activities there is little to no (go with no) physical evidence of virginity in men (who don't have a hymen - sorry you had to find out this way) or women. None of this takes away from the massive, massive importance and hand-wringing we place on virginity. This week school boy Phin Lyman, of the fancy Wellington College 'came out' as a virgin and wrote about his reasons for still being a virgin at the ripe old age of 18. Squeamish Kate writes...
Bring Back MySpace
So, because it's Anecdote Monday (tomorrow's George Michael Tuesday) I'm going to tell you about my Friday night. I was on the train from London Bridge heading to East Croydon and even though public transport is a popular mode of getting around in London the train company chose only put four carriages on this particular service. Is this the patriarchy's fault? Oh I'm sure I can find a way to pin it on patriarchy, but let's say for now that it's not patriachy's fault but privatisation and you can make the links from there. Each carriage was filled to beyond capacity and, as it was Friday night, each carriage had a designated loud drunk person. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Cleaning Tips
Ah, this is a feminist site. So this has been a long time coming. Hardly a day goes by when we don't receive an email asking when, when are we going to write about cleaning products. When are we going to post up tips for relief from housewife's knee? WHEN are we going to write about the joys of a neat and tidy home? Well, we got pretty close last week when every member of the team when asked about robots expressed a desire for a Roomba. Yes, it turns out our imagination stretches no further than a desire to be able to eat our tea off a sparkling floor. So here are the Squeamish team's best cleaning tips so you too can achieve our levels of domestic bliss...
Misconceptions of Fertility & Time
In 2012 Chelsea Bernhardt Polis and Laurie Schwab Zabin of John Hopkins university published their findings on misconceptions over fertility in Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health.Amusingly named Missed Conceptions or Misconceptions: Perceived Infertility Among Unmarried Young Adults In the United States the study found that from a nationally representative telephone survey of 1,800 unmarried men and women aged 18 - 29: "19% of women and 13% of men believed that they were very likely to be infertile." It seems a lot of young women are under the false impression they are infertile, leading them to be somewhat reckless with birth control methods and finding out via the surprise foetus test that they were in fact most fecund. Or reasonably fecund. Look, they're fertile OK? Squeamish Kate writes...
Real People campaign
I think we can all agree that the peculiarly slow, nay laissez-faire world response to the 200 abducted girls in Nigeria by Boko Haram was odd, or questionable and could be potentially tragic. It took ages for celebrities to get it together enough to take a selfie of them holding bits of paper saying #BringBackOurGirls, David Cameron seemed a little spooked to be filmed definitely aligning himself with the side that would like the girls to be returned rather than sold into slavery on the Andrew Marr Show. But another strange reaction to the dire situation has been the resurrection of the #RealMenDontBuyGirls campaign, which involved male celebrities doing 'concerned face' whilst holding a sign saying the aforementioned hashtag for the anti child sex slavery campaign and swearing off wild parties with coke and sex workers I suppose...Or getting caught at wild parties with sex workers and coke. Or certainly not PAYING for any of it. Squeamish Kate writes...
Hole lotta love
One of the best compliments I ever got was when someone told me I looked like Courtney Love.
It wasn't true then and it's not true now and I open with it not (just) to put the subliminal idea in your head that I might, in case we should ever meet, but because it wasn't just the way she looks that made it such a great compliment. I was 16, and Love was one of a group of female musicians I was discovering who were opening my eyes to what women in music and outside of it, could be like. Squeamish Louise writes... a eurovision of the future
On Saturday night over 120 million people across Europe (and presumably outside of it as well) watched Conchita Wurst win the Eurovision song contest with 290 points. Her song, Rise Like a Phoenix, would make a plausible Bond theme tune. And it was delivered like one - sung emotively but almost without movement, in a flowing gown and against a dramatic lighting background, Wurst certainly looked the part. Oh yeah, apart from the beard. Squeamish Louise writes...
Friday 5...Robots
The robots are coming and a third of Brits fear the rise of the machine. They fear robots will take their jobs and 10% expect to see Robocops on patrol in a decade. Some people are more open to robots, with 17% saying they'd get intimate with an android.
We are, of course, already surrounded by robots or machines and at Squeamish HQ we like to try and embrace leaps in technology. Particularly leaps in technology that involve household chores. So we have come up with some robots we don't fear, nay, we look forward to them. Now we know (most of you) aren't robots but SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT A THEME here... Termination TV
The success of various TV shows, One Born Every Minute, Embarrassing Bodies, Bizarre ER, demonstrate that we have a fascination with the gory and the genitalia. Or gory genitalia. We are also very interested in the kind of person who will leave certain medical conditions (not birth, obviously nobody just ignores that hoping it will go away) because they are horribly embarrassing until apparently it has reached a point that only a qualified doctor called Pixie (I yearn for Pixie to treat me, yearn) can cure you. On TV. These people don't want to be famous, or I don't think they do. They are just desperate and perhaps realise the service they are doing (I'm being sincere!) for all those watching who have similar symptoms but are yet to visit a reality TV surgery. It probably makes a lot of people feel less alone and gives them the confidence to seek treatment. Probably. Squeamish Kate writes...
Abigoliah Works it
I first encountered New York comedian Abigoliah Schamaun last year, hosting a competition for new female comedy talent. It's a tough gig, hosting. It's an especially tough gig hosting a night in which none of those taking part has more than 5 years experience, and are feeling the pressure. As it happened the night was only mildly patchy but you got the feeling that even if it had been dire Schamaun would have risen to the occasion. She commented positively on the comic material and encouraged warm applause without seeming patronising or insincere. So I was interested to see her new show Abigoliah Schamaun is Working on it at the Brighton Fringe and this yoga teaching, joke crackin' New Yorker did not disappoint. Squeamish Kate writes...
Pretty isn't the question
Last month Commons Speaker John Bercow told BBC Radio 4's PM programme that women MPs find Prime Minister's Questions "so bad" that they increasingly refuse to take part. No one really went for it. Which is odd because if your local MP is a woman and you wish her to represent you, or give her money to big up Fiji or something, then you need her to take part in PMQs. Last week a hotline was launched for MPs and staff to report harassment. Last month Beyonce launched a hashtag campaign asking #whatispretty? and recently Dove released the results of a survey that revealed 90% of women feel bad when they look in the mirror, they have begun The Beauty Project with Selfridges. We know women have a confidence problem. So why do we keep addressing it only by treating the surface? Squeamish Kate writes...
Because the lady loved big parts
Because we are greedy for Twitter followers (follow us!@SqueamishBikini) we spend far too much time on our Twitter notifications page, just in case we miss something, y'know? We think it makes us appreciate a good Twitter handle all the more, so when @LadyParts_ started following us we were tickled. Because we can be base like that. But when we found out Lady Parts Theatre was interested in providing, well, more lady parts we were interested. The company is based in Liverpool and specialises creating and promoting more roles for women. The company states that: "Women have stories as rich and varied as the stories of men, the only difference - they are not being heard. This is not about sexism - this is about trying to create an even playing field for all theatre professionals to compete on. We work with both women and men at all stages of the process from writers to actors to stage crew." Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Foodies
Summer's so close we can almost taste it. And by 'it' we mean sand-blown icecream; fresh strawberries; bbq-blackened sausages. The many and varied tastes of summer. Seems like we're not the only one with food on our minds at the moment. The annual '50 best restaurant' list has once again been published, allowing foodies everywhere to plan food-based world trips (or, more realistically, sigh in envious disappointment as they imagine where they would eat if they won the lottery and didn't have to worry about waiting lists.) But that's the thing - while these best restaurant lists ricochet establishments into the culinary stratosphere and create celebrity chefs - how many of us drool over memories or longings of high-end, £50-a-pop food? Ask people about their favourite meal and you're as likely to hear about something their gran used to make when they were ill or that perfect hotdog they had at the fair on their first date. But whatever the answer, it's always fun to hear about other people's food memories: what makes a meal stick in the mind and make someone's mouth water when they recount it 10 years later? We're not saying it was easy, but we tried to choose one each that has that effect on us...
Recognising Violence now and before
So, Max Clifford, the man whose face has become familar to us as the white haired man standing by a celebrity who has narrowly missed disgrace, has met his own disgracing, from which PR can't save him. Clifford is one of the many white haired men who have been trooping in and out of court to discuss crimes they allegedly committed against young girls years ago. However many of these men have fans who feel a strong affection for them on account of a past gig hosting a now rather quaint show in which they entertained us by wobbling large sheets of card to a tune or announcing Bucks Fizz as the next act. However it's hard to dredge up affection for someone who does a job like Max Clifford, and due to being found guilty of eight indecent assaults on women and girls - some of whom were no more than 15 years old at the time - there is going to be no fond nostalgia for Max. Squeamish Kate writes...
Bring Back our girls
"May God curse every one of those who has failed to free our girls", these are the words of Enoch Mark, whose daughter and two nieces are missing, along with over 100 students abducted from the Government Girls Secondary School in the Chibok area of the north-eastern state of Borno. The young women were abducted two weeks ago. Two weeks we have known about this. Since I heard about the abduction on the news I have been listening out for it. Call it bad timing, perhaps the media thinks we can only handle one disaster at a time but the story quickly fell to the end of the news, just before the sport. And I didn't say anything. Because I like to post slightly flip articles that tend to cover middle class white girl angst or males encroaching on female space. We're just a small feminist blog. I thought someone else would say something. Because I didn't know what to say. Squeamish Kate writes...
You Don't Need a Vagenda to be feminist
Hi! Thinking of starting up a feminist activist group, gathering or collective in your city/town/village/hamlet? Whether you're setting it up at university or down the pub (I favour the latter - partly because I am not at university, partly because pub) one of the first things you should consider is whether or not you intend this to be women only or not. If you decide it is to be women only you have to decide whether you mean cis-women or people who identify as women. It's only two decisions and yet, and yet. You have to consider the notion of 'safe space', the idea that you might want to be welcoming (I hear people like that stuff) to all or some and what will work for your feminist gathering. The same goes for a feminist book. Is your intended audience women or feminists? Squeamish Kate writes...
The whole drag
A few years ago I wrote a thesis on Drag Kings. I wrote about music hall and the advent of women on stage. And I wrote about Drag Queens. I have written before about how my feminism has changed dramatically over the years. Because most people's gateway feminism is Greer I think many cis white feminist women will tell you that they went through a period of...hmm not dislike but maybe a belief that drag queens were taking the piss out of womanhood. And anyone who lives to be The Whole Woman will no doubt feel a scepticism about trans (I am not saying drag and trans are by any means the same incidentally - but I note often reasons for hostility are weirdly similar). That is putting it lightly. It is put lightly because transphobia is not properly recognised yet. A dinner party won't suddenly fall into an uncomfortable silence because someone uttered a transphobic slur in jest. But it's time we moved on from Greer's chapter on "Pantomime Dames" and recognise that we are seeing a threat in the wrong places. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Patron Saints
It was St George's Day this week, as a Palestinian soldier with Greek parentage it is only natural that St George should be multicultural England's patron saint. Although St George is actually a pretty busy patron. When he isn't slaying dragons, England shares him with various other countries and cities. He is also the patron saint of those suffering from leprosy, plague, herpes and syphilis. As Nick Clegg suggests the separation of Church and State, we think it might be time to adopt a patron saint of our own. There must be some twiddling the thumbs with only a couple of professions and diseases to patron over. Here are some we think might suit Squeamish...
A Definitive guide to ladydom
The noble How-to has been about since the dawn of time. Or at least since the dawn of writing. Or at least since the dawn of print. It's been around a long time now. It's lasted millennia/centuries because there is no end of things people need instruction on. Also the terrible revelation of your 30s (uh, so I hear) is that you realise nobody really knows quite what they're doing and having a definitive guide to ignore brings comfort and a warm glow. The How-to can range from how to make a cake, to how to put shelves up to how to be a human. YES. Our insecurity knows no bounds it seems and Country Life knows this. Hence the publications of its rules for men in the wake of its new Gentleman of the Year Award. Squeamish Kate writes...
Fangirls get comicconned
There are a few things that I love, that I'm very enthusiastic about. Riot Grrrl, feminism, comedy, Monkey Island. But I would never dare call myself a 'fangirl' of anything. Not because I think it's derogatory (fan woman sounds kind of silly) but because a fangirl is, to me, a very specific person that - while I might 'fangirl out' over something - I don't qualify as. She is a woman (or girl) who has great knowledge of something - usually comic based - which she can discuss enthusiastically and will travel great lengths to feed this passion. It might seem extreme to some people who have other passions - but while we might smirk at men who attend Comic Cons and spend huge amounts of money on toys (ACTION FIGURES) and assume they have difficulty meeting women (see Big Bang Theory) we don't hate them. Squeamish Kate writes...
This Year's Model
Recently Washington-based think tank The Pew Research Center revealed the results of their 2013 Global Attitudes survey. They asked 40,117 respondents in 40 countries what they thought about eight topics frequently discussed as moral issues: extramarital affairs, gambling, homosexuality, abortion, premarital sex, alcohol consumption, divorce, and the use of contraceptives. Respondents were asked whether this is morally acceptable, morally unacceptable, or not a moral issue. The findings are not totally surprising. As the Center stated: "African and predominantly Muslim countries tend to find most of these activities morally unacceptable, while in advanced economies, such as those in Western Europe, Japan, and North America, people tend to be more accepting or to not consider these moral issues at all." Squeamish Kate writes...
The Hunger Fame Games
To take an arguably 'Caitlin Moran' simplistic, black and white, hairy and bald vulva approach to feminism, let's say you're a woman, with a functioning set of lady bits (I told you we were going Caitlin here for a sec). Let's say that you're a sex worker with a desire to do other things in your professional life (obviously you AREN'T because we're taking the simplistic feminist approach). Let's say you find yourself pregnant. Oh yeah, also you had breast implants. On the NHS. Are you still allowed to have an abortion if you so desire one? It probably won't surprise you that my answer to that question is...yes. Yes you are. Because I believe in every child being a wanted child and pregnancy is dangerous, even now. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Resurrected Careers
Good Friday to you dear reader! As we begin the Easter celebrations we remember that this religious holiday is about so much more than decorated bonnets, bunnies and egg shaped chocolate. No, Easter is about the resurrection, new life, hope! With the true meaning of Easter on our minds we thought about celebrities (we like to be relevant and 'clickbait' is our watch word) who have fallen by the wayside. Who are too far gone for even the Big Reunion to breathe new life into their careers. Well former celebrities and ex famous people, it's Easter and your career can live again!
Can we make ageing normcore?
Sometimes a word or phrase (or, of course, set of initials for when you tire of forming words - YOLO) you haven't seen before begins to pop up everywhere. You notice it a couple of times but think it unimportant. Then it pops up more and you start to wonder what it is. But, like, not enough to Google it or anything. Then it becomes shorthand for something and finally you find yourself suddenly questioning: WHAT IS THIS NORMCORE?! Oh, it's an "emerging cultural trend". A trend in which you blend in. You're so normal that you are the core of normality and, by extension, anonymity. Although to be anonymous you have to wear one of those masks. There is a whiff of the self congratulatory about Normcore and the wiped clean faces that apparently come with it. Oh don't mind me, I just don't bother with anything frivolous - and for frivolous re: femme. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Lion's Catcall
Surprise! We've come top in something! The great British lion roars again! And he's roaring: "Alright sweetheart, show us your tits!" UN special rapporteur on violence against women Rashida Manjoo has been on a 16 day fact finding mission, travelling across Britain to examine the state of violence against women. And hey! Rashida's been to Algeria, Bosnia, Italy, India, Croatia, Azerbaijan and more but we, us, the UK can lay claim to being the most sexist! FIST BUMP! It's not just how sexist the country is but how we parade it, Rashida says: "Have I seen this level of sexist cultures in other countries? It hasn't been so in-your-face". Are we surprised? Well, yeah. Even those who have experienced high levels of sexism, even avid readers of Everyday Sexism and Edwina Currie expressed surprise and even doubt. Squeamish Kate writes...
Keep Mum on other's business
We all have expectations thrust (thrust!) upon us. It's a way to make us keep up with the Joneses and buy stuff. Whether the media is warning women against'Dudeism' and telling men to be grossed out by lady stubble or telling them that Brazilian waxes are kind of D List now or the only way toflaunt your vulva or giving the pallid permission to be pale because a handful of celebrities are while in the same publication announcing it's time to crack out the fake tan, one thing's for sure... you have a stereotype and it's somehow your job to either conform to it or break away from it and whichever way you choose will probably be wrong and we'll all raise our eyebrows. Frankly it would be easier for us all if you'd be quiet, at least until we can come up with a good name for you and what you're doing. Especially if you're a mum. Who also works. Welcome, MUMPRENEUR. Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: Rash Decisions
Now, it might look like resident mature student Sue hasn't been doing much studying, more hot tubbing. But she assures us her research is all copy and pasted onto the clipboard...
I have a strange and incredibly irritating rash on my leg which at night drives me to distraction and back. How can something itch so much? And when I eventually succumb and scratch it, the relief is wonderful but sadly short lived. The whole process of "I won't scratch it" sounds loudly in my head; the whole spiral repeats itself in a continuous nightmare of cooling it with ice, wearing gloves, reciting the alphabet backwards as a distraction, until I can stand it no longer and give in to the inevitable once again. Squeamish Sue writes... Friday 4...Festival!
Our attention was recently drawn to the Penis Festival (though Squeamish Kate is convinced she already knew about it. We don't know how or why and nor does she. Perhaps she sensed it). The Festival of the Penis is held once a year in Japan and to the untrained eye looks like a gigantic hen party but it is actually called Kanamara Matsuri, the Festival of the Steel Phallus. Crikey. And really why not? We have come up with some more festival ideas that you should get planning and celebrating...
How do you solve a problem like misogyny?
Cameron has appointed not one person to replace Maria Miller, former Minister for Women and Equality and Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport but two. Miller, who has announced her resignation conveniently before the Prime Minister had to go head to head with Ed Milliband (Which is a shame because I bet Ed had some great, great jokes up his sleeve. Real zingers about Miller's expenses. To be delivered with his excellent timing.) has had her post split between Nicky Morgan and Sajid Javid. New Culture Secretary Sajid Javid has acquired the post of Equalities Minister. This is because Morgan voted against the legalisation of same sex marriage. Or Downing Street made the decision in a champagne haze. We will NEVER KNOW. Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue: Radio Gaga
During a break from her studies at Warwick University our resident mature student Squeamish Sue has been causing power outages with alcohol and a gazebo. She's also been on the radio - though not because of the gazebo incident, just a bit of work experience in case the degree doesn't come off.
This week the Student Beans website is offering me free driving test theory software and free condoms. An odd combination, though I guess it gives a whole new meaning to hazard perception. Squeamish Sue writes... The Depth & Breasts of the media
I like a good portmanteau. Imagine how much poorer the world would be if we couldn't use our sporks to ward off wayward ligers. But sometimes a new word appears that just seems utterly baffling. This week, it's mangagement. As in "Johnny Depp has got engaged and is wearing a mangagement ring." Because man + engagement, you see? But I just kept reading it as management, as if it was a piece of metal put on someone to control and manage their behaviour. Oh no wait, we put engagement rings on women to show that they're taken and that other men should not flirt with them, right? This is one of those moments where I'm a bit baffled that everyone is baffled. Why should it be a big deal for a man to wear an engagement ring? Squeamish Louise writes...
Hazel Gore Tells a story
Why didn't I go to Glasgow School of Art? I went to University of Glasgow after a failed attempt to un-box Spatial Design during my Foundation at Central St. Martin's. I may have found the lack of practical creation frustrating during my degree at Glasgow but Hazel Gore's dream place at may not have been the one to covet. I spent a year at Central St. Martin's School of Art complete my foundation art diploma. When it came to the time to specialise I found it very hard to choose. I had been quite young at the time, well not really, I was 19 but naïve was my main quality followed by my creativity. I chose the wrong thing and ducked out before I got to BA level. Gore was younger then me when she began studying at the Glasgow School of Art. At 17, the girl from Ayr had not only the development of herself as an artist to tackle but her growth as a young adult finding her way in a new city. The duality of this journey has no doubt shaped the imagery she presents at her latest show at Veneer Gallery. Squeamish Nicola writes...
Friday 5...Catchphrases
Hi everybody! After going to see Miranda Hart and her catchphrase-rich show we started wondering what our favourite catchphrases were. It's been a trip down memory lane. To the days when anybody could raise a laugh at school simply by uttering "Sweetie darling" or "hokey-cokey, pig in a pokey!" or wonder aloud whether or not someone was local. We also knew never to say "Smeg". No, no never that because that would betray your viewing habits as geeky. Some last and some fade away - even now it is apparently acceptable to announce "computer says no". So, what makes a catchphrase worthy and what are our favourite catchphrases?
How this sitcom met its end
So the How I Met Your Mother finale happened, after 9 years. And I saw it, and I have some thoughts. I'm not here to pretend that HIMYM (as we will be referring to it in the interests of cutting down on both boredom and RSI) was a perfect sitcom or that it never had its problems. But I spent a lot of time as a fan. I discovered it when I was only a few years out of university, discovering life and love and long-term relationships in a similar way to the protagonists. I remember feeling during some of the early seasons that the show, while not exactly true to life (why can people in sitcoms always afford such nicer places than me even when they have worse jobs?) was pretty much nailing some of the feelings that went with that stage of life. I was watching these glamorous Manhattanites from my grotty Brighton (UK) flat, and feeling a sense of kindred feeling - that this is what it was like to be in your early 20s and scrabbling to figure things out. As the seasons wore on the characters became less relatable, but I still laughed, still wanted to find out what was going to happen to them. So what did? And just to warn you, the following is CHOCK FULL of spoilers. Squeamish Louise spoils...
Miranda Harts What We Call Review
Let me begin this review by telling you about my previous visits to the carbuncle of the Brighton seafront, The Brighton Centre - the building so ugly they obscured its name in a 'face lift'. There were the work outings to Holiday on Ice orchestrated by my Dad's employers, a pre-teen outing with my mum and sister to see my favourite band eternal (no capitalisation - any true fan knows that) sadly without Louise Nerding (once they are glammed up and slick girl bands are no longer fun are they?), a spontaneous visit with my sister to see The Corrs (on a school night. A school night my teen sister and I spent looking at the audience and asking "who are all these old people?"), family members' graduations and, as of last night, to see Miranda Hart. Squeamish Kate writes...
Paint a Sexy picture
Recently Jezebel writer Lindy West wrote about discussing the concept of 'ugly' with her 12 year old step daughter. Having realised that it's incredibly useful to be aware of how arbitrary the qualifiers for 'ugly' can be, West hoped to convey this idea to her step daughter. But, as West points out, children are increasingly brought up by the media - you can't entirely stop the media's attitudes and standards creeping into your child's consciousness (or yours, for that matter) and we have a history of books, films and TV shows that use 'ugly' as a signifier of a person's status as 'baddy'. A pretty woman in a fairy tale is pretty because she's good. And maybe a little cloying. But that's okay. Know why? 'Cos she's pretty and if she wants to keep everyone thinking that she will know not to say anything. Pretty is doing as you're told. Squeamish Kate writes...
Going to the chapel & we're gonna keep protesting
Over the weekend many of those who are against same sex marriage have no doubt found their nightmare come true. They’ve had to explain that when two people love each other and want to spend their lives together and make it incredibly complicated and expensive to break up they can now get married. Even if they are two boys or two girls. Ew! Sounds horrifying right? The kids will never understand! That’s going to take, like, a whole sentence to explain. On the other side of the coin many LGBTQ campaigners have the difficult task of explaining that this is not the end. This is a small triumph for those who want to marry, but it’s not quite the tip of the equal rights iceberg. Cis, straight and gay people we urge you not to wipe your hands and say done and done triumphantly. Those fighting for equality still have more work to do and those suffering from inequality are still suffering. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...APril Fools
Happy April Fools Day! Hah! Fooled you, no, you haven't massively overslept or bought a faulty calendar. It's not until next week. Maybe a day where it's acceptable, if not encouraged, to play jokes on people should have lost it's shine at around the same time that we stopped scratching band logos into our pencil cases and tippexing slogans onto our rucksacks. But there's something charming about the way everyone from international newspapers to search engines join in. And there are worse ways to spend a morning than tracking down the joke stories in the papers (WARNING: playing this game with the Daily Mail or similar can lead to crushing depression when you realise that the story you thought was hilarious satire is actually completely serious) But just like the scouts we like to be prepared. So let's take a look at some of our favourite April Fools...
Pilled up teens
Between watching my Daria DVD collection, My Mad Fat Diaryand reading Bim Adewunmi's recap of the 1999 film 10 Things I Hate About You (watch the film, read the recap - both are highly amusing) you could say I have been having a trip down memory lane. Combined with a commute that featured a group of teenagers discussing an absent classmate's "weird fingers" (apparently they bend funny and his tongue is big and he definitely once tried to digitally probe the anus of one of the boys present - with the weird bendy fingers! True story) I have been appreciating my escape from teenhood in which both parents, politicians and peers scrutinise your every move and physical development. Squeamish Kate writes...
Age old insecurity
A survey has revealed that women who have reached the age of 51 feel invisible to the opposite sex. Far from ignite an opportunistic crime wave it seems, from a pool of 2000 women over 50 (the number of women who participated in this survey) it appears this has resulted in a group of women of a certain age being sad and dejected. Considering on average women have an extra 5 to 10 years of living to do compared to these men who fail to notice them past a certain point - apparently due to an immune system that ages slower and probably because of that jolly saying used in the medical profession regarding men and their ability to visit doctors: 'women get sick and men die' - it's a long time to feel that you are going unnoticed. Squeamish Kate writes...
Faith in Equality
It is a secret fantasy of mine, usually after a Sunday watching too many Miss Marples (Geraldine McEwan episodes, please. At a pushmaybe Joan Hickson) and Midsomer Murders, to become a country village vicar. With a Baptist/Athiest upbringing and Catholic school education I'd have no idea what was going on and therefore my congregation would be most confused by my slapdash ways. In my fantasy, however, it is always sunny at my old countryside vicarage and I can garden as I solve mysteries and make it no concern of mine that the village has an awful high murder rate. I spend little to no time counselling my flock or writing services. I think it would be a lovely quiet life. In reality it would no doubt be more Father Ted than Vicar of Dibley. More c*nty parish than country. The reality for woman vicars (woman vicars who don't see vicaring [technical term] as a righteous opt out scheme) is apparently a life of abusive comments, being spat at and receiving pornographic letters. Squeamish Kate writes...
Selfie Esteem
Recently your social networking sites have probably be inundated with bare faced selfies for cancer awareness. You know what your reaction was to the scrubbed smiling faces, my guess is your first thought was - how many goes did they have at taking that selfie? And secondly how does this help cancer? Rather like the mysterious trend that occasionally reappears in which all the girls post tweets or Facebook statuses in which they share the colour of their bra or pants (always pink or black, never 'mixed wash grey' or 'caught short shit stained') to 'raise awareness' the current trend for the bare faced selfies has caused confusion about the importance of awareness and donation. There's no charge (yet) for posting selfies. Of course joke's on the cynical - as ever. There's been a massive surge in donations as people were prompted to include the number to text in order to donate to raise both awareness and funds for cancer charities. Squeamish Kate writes...
A Friday 4...Far, Far Away
After the open auditions in November the cast of the latest Star Wars film is still a mystery, even though it is due to start filming soon. Hints have been dropped abut "familiar faces" but that could just mean the film is going to be overrun with ewoks and storm troopers. Yeah they're tricky those casting directors. Lena Dunham recently let slip that Girls cast member Adam Driver was in the running as a villain of the new Star Wars but we have put our heads together and decided on the cast we'd like to see in the new Star Wars film...
How the Waltons Failed Ma & Pa
The Walton sextuplets are 30. Having caused a media stir at birth beating the odds given to their mother Janet Walton who was told at 16 that conception was unlikely anITV documentary is due to air soon covering the sextuplets' lives as adults. So! What are we looking at. Usually when documenting larger than average families we like to know things like...are the family on benefits? In which case what will the destiny of their scrounging kids be, how big is their telly and why are they allowed to live? Just asking because we're sincerely concerned, yeah. Or for a more highbrow documentary we investigate the parents and their belief in the rhythm method and Catholicism perhaps or maybe they just didn't get enough love in their own childhoods, or are they holding out for a girl/boy. With the Walton sextuplets, because of the nature of their conception and birth we might be interested in how Ma and Pa Walton coped, but now the girls are 30 and it's 2014 what we really, really want to know is... are they married? Squeamish Kate writes...
Patriarchy does patriarchy's work
While those who have misunderstood or simply not discovered feminism might think it is a group of hairy women with hemp dungarees in their wardrobes and bras to burn who all love each other in some kind of imagined commune (or real commune) in which they plait each others armpit hair whilst railing against patriarchy with man-hating poetry, we know different. I happen to know for a fact not as many women know how to plait hair as you might think and I also know that most feminists love men. You can love men and dislike the patriarchy. The bra burning thing is a myth made up by newspaper staff and in spite of the best intentions feminists don't love each other. Whether in a commune or not. Squeamish Kate writes...
Break Up with Girlfriend News
As the tragic news of L'Wren Scott's apparent suicide sinks in the media is switching from breaking news mode to eulogy mode, with friends and colleagues invited to air their grief, ideally in very quotable sound bites. We know how the media covers stuff. They have papers to sell, audience figures to up. On some subjects I can forgive a little sensationalism. However a peculiar thing has become apparent with the deaths of Reeva Steenkamp and L'Wren Scott. Being a girlfriend is, according to the media, a job. If you're girlfriend to a celebrity then that is a full time job, a career and clearly how you wish to be remembered. A time will come when we will wander about cemeteries full of headstones engraved 'Girlfriend of'. Who knew all those girls who seek out footballers as partners weren't searching for fame and fortune but anonymity. Squeamish Kate writes...
A Douchebag for life
You probably heard over the celebrations and publicity of International Women's Day a question: "When's International Men's Day?" Over Pride you will perhaps hear people make the stunning observation that there is no Straight Pride festival. During Black History month the dearth of White History month is questioned. This is because every day is straight pride day, white history reigns the school curriculum and International Men's Day is in November, with no bars stopping you from celebrating it or holding an event and, in spite of the passion displayed when regarding the lack International Men's Day you might be surprised to learn you have missed 13 IMDs. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Contraception Myths
We've all heard them. In the playground, in the PSHE classroom, in the Daily Mail. Contraception myths. Astudy recently found that no, free contraception does not turn people into sex-crazed beasts. They just have more responsible sex. Ah, where would we be without contraception myths? They can vary from the mildly plausible to the outrageous. They'd be hilarious if for every sex educator offering free contraception there weren't more people who believe these myths. OK some of them are hilarious. Which is why we have shared some of the best ones we've heard...
It's Just Humour, Eat it up
I don't think any ideology argues over what they can and can't worry about - or is told what concerns they should have more than feminism. When it comes to life, the university of, you might be informed by those graduating (I mean dying - or those who have made it onto Desert Island Discs and are always encouraged to impart a life lesson whilst introducing Direstraits) not to sweat the small stuff. That's probably a good lesson to live by. By small stuff I think people usually mean fretting over how your behind looks, what people might think of you if you try to achieve your faintly ridiculous ambition, and what people might say if you kick up a fuss about something you think is unfair. Don't sweat the small stuff doesn't actually mean ignore it. It means do something about it. Whether that is deciding not to fret about your appearance or deciding to take action. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Fertility of free contraception
One of my favourite moments in the Jennifer Saunders sitcom Absolutely Fabulous is when they go to France and get drunk at a wine tasting. But there's also a great little scene where Gran mistakes Saffy's purchase of female condoms for fingerless washing up gloves "They don't put fingers on these gloves..." I think when that episode aired many viewers thought that by 2014 we wouldn't be so shocked or flummoxed by femidoms (or femdoms, which I originally typoed) and other forms of female contraception. If pressed I think we'd have guessed the male pill would be causing a new sexual revolution in which responsibility was a buzzword. Instead we're flinging around pseudo science about women, hormones and the pill. Squeamish Kate writes...
Girl on girl Feminisms
We all remember the cool girls at school. Unless you went to a boys school. In which case you had a group of cool boys. There was nothing particularly remarkable about these people. In fact it seemed it was their unremarkableness was their strength. The only time they spoke up was to put others down it seemed, making them hard to analyse and infiltrate. Cool is a weird thing. As is bitchiness. Do you remember when a trend overtook Jezebel commenters and it became funny to remark that something made you want to "cut a bitch". Truth be told I can see why this is an awful thing to say but - this truth being told - I have to say the first time I read the phrase "Makes me want to cut a bitch" as a bored intern looking for feminist writing online I had to stifle my laughter. I laughed at a joke in which someone feels an urge to draw blood from a woman. I think if I saw someone witty crack it out again I might smirk a little. Does that make me cool? Squeamish Kate writes...
Sex sells but you can't sell it
Sex sells. It's one of the truisms of marketing and capitalism - we use images of sex to sell everything from deodorant to cheeseburgers, cars and shaving foam. So why do so many people who embrace capitalism decry the actual selling of sex? Why can we suggest that, hey, wear this tie and you'll get a blowjob, but saying hand over some money and get a blowjob is beyond the line? Why are marketers and advertising agencies held up as creative geniuses for using sexual imagery to sell products that might seem unrelated to sex, while women and men who sell sex directly are seen as disgusting or damaged or both? Squeamish Louise writes...
Friday 4...International Women
International Women's Day, on the 8th of March, has expanded into a weekend. This week many International Women's Day events have got started to celebrate the 8th and women. So we are jumping on the bandwagon in anticipation of Saturday. This Friday we are talking about the women who inspire us and deserve to be celebrated on International Women's Day...
Aim High, Mothers
Babies are boring. You know it, I know it, we all know it. Boring AND demanding, that's like the worst combination ever. It's up (or down) there with racist and jolly or drunk and deep. Oh I know some of them look cute and they will ALL totally let you draw eyebrows and a moustache on them then photograph them and post the photos online. But deciding to adopt or make a baby is a massive undertaking that requires a lot of patience, support and unconditional love because while you might always want and love a baby I'm pretty convinced you aren't always going to like it. And that's fine. That's useful to know and acknowledge that they aren't always going to be a joy, which is a good reason why motherhood is often so highly lauded. It's also probably why many people think it must be a full time occupation (I am not using that to mean 'job'). If you've given birth and are parenting the child then obviously you are a full time mother. Squeamish Kate writes...
Check 'Em Out
Cancer is a strong word. It is so strong that there are only some cancers we feel able to bring up and talk about. Others still only qualify for a whisper. It's unsurprising that the cancer the Sun newspaper has chosen to alert its readers to is breast cancer. Not just because breasts are the Sun's spirit animal, but because it is an acceptable cancer to discuss. Breast cancer campaigns have successfully pushed their message to the forefront of charities we are aware of. Just as we know the red ribbon signifies support for HIV and AIDS charities we know that the pink ribbon. In support of the breast cancer charity CoppaFeel the Sun has moved Page 3 to the front page to highlight their battle against cancer in Page 3 V Breast Cancer and features a Page 3 model checking her breasts. Or, y'know, giving them a quick feel. In the name of breast cancer awareness and it's Check 'em Tuesday you understand, not titillation. Squeamish Kate writes...
Feminism? Pharrell?
As it has been noted by many a blogger, columnist and person-on-the-street that feminism is hard. It is hard. As with all major movements and ideologies there is division. Which is annoying but can be used properly as a discussion or debate point, not an arguing block. Many columnists like to use their larger and better recognised platform to snark about the lowly bloggers who do nothing but point things out holes in their argument. Because you know what's harder than feminism? Engaging. When a celebrity announces an interest in feminism all that matters so a certain section of feminists seems to be 'that is all well and good but have I ever seen your pants because if so DENIED'. Squeamish Kate writes...
For My Virtual GirlFriends
Here's a thing a lot of people seem to struggle with. It's pretty out there but I think you can handle it. Women are real people. I know, I know. You think we're just going all out for clickbait but it's true and we are all about the hard facts. However with all the 'real women wear/eat/defecate/breathe/have curves rhetoric it's easy to see how confusion can arise. We're putting more and more of our lives online, you probably have your CV up on the web, do your shopping online, make plans for socialising on various sites and you might search for singles online, so the lines between what's real and what's not are blurring. Which makes it unsurprising that the site MyGirlFund has become so popular in which women are paid to act as 'internet girlfriends'. You might as well add another virtual thing to your life. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Feminism Replacements
The site Jezebel is worried about feminism becoming fashionable, citing 2013 as the year young female celebrities were falling over themselves to identify as feminist. Model Charlotte Free fretted feministly on her Tumblr: "feminism is not an accessory or a phase u can grow out of dont get me wrong, im way stoked that more people are admitting to be, or becoming feminists but i wish it didnt take it being 'trendy' to get where we are now. [sic]" Feminism might not be an accessory but it is cool now and we want you to know that we were feminist before feminism was cool. Now we have had to come up with a new movement to identify with, or at least new names for feminism...
Portrait of a Catcall
I believe it was the too-brilliant-to-induce-envy Tavi Gevinson who introduced us to 'resting bitch face'. Even going as far as to create a guide for those who struggle with furrowing their brow in a dismissive expression to demonstrate levels of high bitchnosity. Since this guide was published girls and women across the world have been able to express their displeasure with the flicker of an eyebrow and the crinkle of a forehead. Then two or so years later Taylor Orci wrote the script for a short film drawing attention to "Bitchy Resting Face" in a plea to the general public not take BRF personally. It's just their face! However, many members of the general public do seem to take it personally and believe women in particular should tread the streets with a smile in their face and maybe an upbeat Taylor Swift song in their heart. I'm willing to bet most women's first taste of mild street harassment (for it is street harassment) was being told to smile. Or cheer up. Smile! you live in a patriarchy. Squeamish Kate writes...
President SPar's Thoughts on Young Women & Feminism
Dare to Use the F-Word is a new monthly podcast series created by and for young feminists. Street harassment, food activism, body image and slut-shaming are among the diverse issues discussed in the series, which is produced by Barnard College and the Barnard Center for Research on Women and aims to spotlight contemporary issues and activists. The podcast is available for download on iTunes, where you can also subscribe to the series.
In a recent episode, Barnard President Debora Spar, author of Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection, talks with feminist media activist Jamia Wilson about how the drive for perfection affects young women today. Following the interview, President Spar shared her thoughts on the direction of feminism for the next generation... Why it's Goodknight to chivalry
People often appear to be under the impression that feminism is but a question of who opens the door. And who gets to grow a moustache. But mostly door opening and holding. Nobody questions the odd omission of any BAN ALL DOORS or CAMPAIGN FOR REVOLVING DOORS IN ALL BUILDINGS from any feminist projects or slogans. Which is perhaps indicative of how much thought people who think feminism is about misandry have given to the subject. The death of chivalry is regularly mourned and/or celebrated by male and female columnists depending on what publication they are writing for. Why the decline in chivalry? Apparently it's never a question of people being increasingly selfish or thoughtless and therefore bad mannered. It's feminism. Squeamish Kate writes...
Black (Mis)representation
Last week I was bummed out because the opportunity to see the play For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. The play was being performed at the School of Oriental and African Studies and was kicking off and ending the Ain't I a Woman? What's Race Got to Do with It?event, hosted by the SOAS Women Society. Instead of going to the play I went to the panel discussion Black (Mis)Representation in which we were immersed in a many number of topics: Mainstream feminism and Black Feminism; mainstream representations of Black mehiwomen; shadism; Black masculinity. Squeamish Nicola writes...
FridAY 5...bRIT aWARDS sUGGESTIONS
Since the dawn of the teenager adults have been moaning about how the new teen idols aren't as good as the old teen idols. James Dean could kick Mick Jagger's ass. Lionel Richie's Hello was better than Kurt Cobain's. Take That are no wild boys like Duran Duran were and the Spice Girls had nicknames, what do you call Lil Mix? And why doesn't anybody enunciate any more! Time was you could hear every word... Robbie Williams complained the Brit Awards had become dull over time and most people find themselves in the odd position of agreeing with him. So, to save a load of executives having to gather round the board room asking each other "what would Jarvis do?" we have come up with some suggestions for the Brits 2015...
Pretty Polyamory
What makes a successful relationship? It's up to the people involved, obviously, right? Yeah, right, as if that wouldn't put thousands of columnists and commentators out of a job. And I mean I had nothing to write about right now. So let's talk about sex, baby (and all the good things...). The Guardian wanted to celebrate valentine's day by asking if equality kills sex. There's some compelling stuff there - it would certainly seem that (heterosexual) couples who have a more equal distribution of labour have sex less often. But it also sounds from everything cited as if the people in these arrangements are generally happy with them. That having sex one time less a week is a decent tradeoff for spending your life with someone you actually like and not growing to hate them for never putting the damn rubbish out or putting the kids to bed. Squeamish Louise writes...
Selfie Branding
The smart phone and social media explosion in recent times mean that everybody - but especially Generation Y or Millennials - is increasingly involved in a constant exercise of self branding. What's your brand? Do you regularly post selfies of you pulling an expression that shows you're unimpressed with your current situation (but also totes hot)? Or maybe you think we all want to know what you're eating right about now. Perhaps you're a young man in his late teens or early 20s and you need us all to know what a cynic you are - nothing fools you, nossir because you live your life with #nofilter, if you will. By the way what are you wearing right now? Squeamish Kate writes...
The Grip of a sisterly vice
According to Cosmopolitan magazine's agony aunt Irma Kurtz women are continuing to set themselves up as rivals rather than sisters. Speaking to Stella magazine Kurtz said: "Now there is less about sex, less 'she's trying to flirt with my bloke' and more anxiety about competition on the office floor. 'who does she think she is' - that sort of thing...I call envy 'the sisterly vice' and it's one we are more open to than ever now we have more areas in which to compete." Is it really a change in the nature of the competitions we can take part in, or a lack of change in the way we compete that's preventing women from forming sisterhood?
I wrote only yesterday about how, while portraying a wonderful sisterly female friendship on Parks and Recreation with Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones lapsed into this 'sisterly vice' with Hadley Freeman in an interview. The trouble with the sisterly vice is it is often the only visible way in which women are shown to bond. Squeamish Kate writes... Feminist Interaction Action
I think if someone is part of a project or show you love it's hard to separate them from it. If they happen to air opinions that are similar to yours your fandom grows. They say they like cookies, omigoodness you like cookies. They call themselves a feminist, you call yourself a feminist. They say they don't like dressing the same as a set of women they disapprove of, you don't like dressing the same as a set of women you disapprove of. It's easy to get carried away and a recent interview between Hadley Freeman and Rashida Jones seems like a good case for this. The talented and intelligent Rashida Jones of the hilarious Parks & Recreation recently tweeted the hashtag #stopactinglikewhores with regard to how starlets dress and whether or not they have pants on. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...'Shipping
There's a set (sect?) of One Direction fans who do it, lots of people who write fan fic do it and now JK Rowling is doing it.'Shipping. JK Rowling once again prodded the dead horse that is the Harry Potter franchise by saying Harry and Hermione should have ended up together, not Ron and Hermione. While many might suggest the only ill-paired couple here were JK and her editor we were prompted - what with it being Valentine's Day (there, we said it) to think up some other pairs we'd like to 'ship.
Our Bodies, our Crisis
I don't think anybody appreciates being tricked. I don't think anybody likes being manipulated and I don't think anybody thinks vulnerable people deserve to be emotionally abused when they seek help about a difficult and potentially life changing situation. Telegraph reporters recently investigated a crisis pregnancy centre and found that counsellors were spouting complete untruths designed to frighten people into continuing their pregnancy. You have probably heard some of these before, that abortion leaves you infertile or unable to carry a pregnancy to full term. That abortion will somehow give you breast cancer (I assume the science behind that is boobs have their own moral code and will turn on you) post termination. But had you heard that abortion can cause "an increased statistical likelihood of child abuse". Also if you have an abortion you will smell funny and are statistically more likely to touch dogs in odd ways. Squeamish Kate writes...
fatal genre titling
To my sheer undiluted joy, I joined Netflix this January. The month that calls for tightening of purse strings, Lidl shops and nae booze welcomed the free one month trial. I intended to spend all my dark and cold evenings in bed with my laptop on my, well lap. As the days turned into weeks I was beaming as I steaming streaming and adding a lot to the personal 'my list' scrolling bar. Then I ventured to the row below and it had a new very lengthy titled genre. 'Dark Films with Strong Women Leads' huh? I could hear the ghostly voice of Netflix whispering in my ear "It's all for you Nicola, it's chosen for yoooou!" Not really phased by the abstract nature of the idea of a dark film - Netflix didn't just mean horror, it was more the strong women part. Squeamish Nicola writes...
Women Cracking Up
Back in December the BBC Trust finally realised that panel show after panel show sausage fests a dull show makes. When your only variant from the BBC Comedy Old Guard is the latest Good-Looking-Boy-in-a-T-shirt-Noticing-Things or possibly, at a stretch, Sue Perkins it's time to consider shaking things up. The mind boggles to think that shaking things up in 2014 is to notice a woman can, on occasion, be quite amusing. Why, sometimes one finds oneself laughing with her! And so BBC executive Mark Linsey went on record as saying: "Comedy panel shows are always better for having a good mix of people and of course that must include women. I'm making it clear to production teams that there's just no excuse for delivering all male guest lists." You Beeb mavericks you. Squeamish Kate writes...
Let it bleed
Recently 4chan got all pranky and hashtag happy with an internet hoax about a new alarming feminist movement called Free Bleeding. Fortunately The Daily Dot got there just in time to point out it was a hoax before we all started forgoing sanitary products and unleashed the menses on an unsuspecting public: "How's 4chan's mission to dismantle modern-day feminism going? Terribly. That's to be expected when a group of teenage boys, with no understanding of the movement they're criticizing, launch a couple silly hashtag trends."
You might have spotted a blog called Modern Women Digest doing the rounds on your social media warning everyone of a "Disturbing New Feminist Trend: Free-Bleeding". In it the author describes the 'trend'. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Landmarks
Who wants to be, down by the sea? Well if you're in the UK this week then pretty much nobody, as the coast takes a battering and large parts of the country seem to be getting washed away by gigantic waves.
Squeamish HQ is in Brighton and we've watched as the iconic West Pier has become another victim of the storms. It looks like what was once a beach-based landmark will be washed away within the year, as the trust who own it carry on with the plan to let the structure be reclaimed by nature. Alright, so it's not exactly as inconvenient as large sections of railway getting carried off in Dawlish, but it does mark the end of an era as something vanishes from the skyline that was the background to countless walks, swims, kisses and parties. There are structures and buildings all around the country that we'd like to preserve for our own reasons... Ladies Love V Day
You guys! It's almost Valentine's Day! Guys? Are you excited? Have you thought of little else? If you're reading this and you're a GIRL I know for a FACT you will have been unable to concentrate on anything other than dropping hints about what kind of roses you like (red, natch. NOT yellow that means friendship) and leaving your work address lying around. Maybe talking about your mysterious craving for oysters and champagne as well as the importance of reserving tables at certain restaurants early. And you want the table in the window. So that everybody can share in your happiness, yeah? You can graciously wave to passers-by 'no take-away and a DVD for us, no sir, for we are too in love to stay inside'. Squeamish Kate writes...
Don't mention the rhinoplasty!
According to the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons cosmetic surgery is on the rise. The number of people undergoing cosmetic surgery procedures went beyond 50,000. There was a 13% increase in the number of breast augmentations and the demand for liposuction went up by 41%. "every one of the cosmetic ops monitored individually also showed a double-digit rise across the board. Such a significant increase has not been seen since before 2008". 90% of the entire number of people undergoing such procedures was made up of women. Squeamish Kate writes...
Artistic Justice
[Trigger Warning] There are frequent grumblings in the art community that art is not valued enough. Looking at school curriculum and funding it's possible that there is a strong case regarding our respect for art. Let's call that the red corner. In which accessible public art is on the brink of closing down, young new artists, writers and musicians aren't nurtured or supported and funding is a distant Arts Council led dream. I worry about art. But if there's a red corner, there must be a blue corner, if anyone will appreciate the necessity for symmetry it's the arts, right? In the blue corner we have the artistic establishment. By which I mean white men who have been lauded, called genius and to whom we must, in the style of cartoon ancient Greeks or Romans, sacrifice our young nubile girls (or boys, artist's choice) to. No questions asked, you don't choose your muse, yo. Rather they subtly seduce you and as a grown man with huge talent you are of course powerless. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Metal Lady
Music, making music, producing music, promoting music, reviewing music, it's all seen as kind of a man's game. If a woman tells you what kind of music she likes you (I) tend to just think 'oh, she likes that kind of music as a vaguely interested fan'. Like the assumption that a dentist, doctor or mechanic will be male the music expert is traditionally male. Think about it. Yeah. Even as an ex music PR from a woman heavy office I think music, I think men.
But hey! Don't beat yourself up about this, so you maybe immediately picture a man when you think of music professionals or serious fans or experts, you know it's not really the case, particularly when it comes to experts and hardcore fans (we're talking genre enthusiasts, not 1 Direction fans, not to be snobby but to be particular) - there are loads of women and girls who could out mixtape any guy with a DJ night and a CD burner. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Wedding Officiants
We are gathered here today to talk about the mass wedding at the 2014 Grammy Awards ceremony of 33 gay and straight but all in love couples, to celebrate the failure of the Defense of Marriage Act, officiated over by Queen Latifah.
The couples were also treated/subjected to Madonna singing Open Up Your Heart as they began their married lives, dressed in a kind of white cowboy groom attire. So, we wondered, if we could choose, which celebrity would we have officiate at our weddings - The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air scored Shaft as his wedding officiant, can we top that? Spotty Behaviour towards Teen Boys
Perhaps it's down to a vast improvement in acne products - meaning the spot-riddled ones are now the lesser seen of the species (or I live on the set of Hollyoaks) causing a shift in behaviour in this age bracket, but we seem to have forgotten what it is to be a teenager. Since the teen was invented we have treated them with a mixture of fear and contempt. This is probably because few of us would want to relive our teens and yet, and yet...would that we had had the wise advice we regularly dispense to our own teens back then. We'd have teened so much better! Why can't they see that? WHY? Squeamish Kate writes...
Pant for Consent
Hey, conversation starters! Who likes those? Everybody! Everybody awkward anyway. And when it comes to pants who wouldn't love a conversation starter? Something other than "I haven't had a chance to put a wash on!" or "oh, well it's very hard to tell which way round their supposed to be when I'm rummaging through my knicker drawer in the morning". Since the end of communal changing rooms in shops the only people who are going to see your pants are healthcare professionals, beauty therapists (depending on what treatment you're getting, though all treatments seem to require you strip down to your pants; massage? PANTS, facial? PANTS, manicure? PANTS) and partners you might want your pants to say something like "No means no", or "Ask me what I like ;)." Squeamish Kate writes...
He's a Douche, She's Insane
I don't know what sizzurp is, or I didn't, thanks to the Daily Mail and Justin Bieber now I do. For those who don't the ever useful Urban Dictionary says it is Promethazine and Codeine syrup mixed with any fruit flavoured soda and a jolly rancher - for taste. Maybe a sugary buzz. There are strict instructions for this concoction to be put in a Styrofoam cup. Not plastic, not glass, Styrofoam. Why? I don't know. But apparently if you drink this you will enjoy the sensation of "euphoria...motor skill impairment, lethargy, and extreme drowsiness." Quite the roller coaster of feelings. Squeamish Kate writes...
Video Killed the Gender Stereotypes
Girls born today in affluent areas can expect to live to the age of 105. Their boy peers in poorer areas will be lucky to see 67, even those born in fancy places are predicted only to make a paltry 98 years. However the extra years girls have on boys might simply be filled with too many emotions and manipulative actions while listening to popular music and donning new fashions. Which sounds kind of fun but also not very self-sufficient. These women will have to rely on the whippersnapper men a generation or so below who have grown up from activity and task focused boys who enjoy achieving goals and completing physical challenges. Like changing light bulbs I expect. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Academy Award Suggestions
It's Awards season again! We expect you, like us, to be just trembling with excitement. Who is going to win what? Who will cry the most during their speech? What is Jennifer Laurence going to wear? And will she make it up the stairs this time if needs be?
Yeah, actually it turns out we can't drum up that much interest in Awards season. It's the sameness of it all. Best actress, best actor, best screenplay yadda yadda yadda. So here are some suggestions for the Academy to have a little think about... Google Parenting
The answer you are supposed to give as a stranger caresses your pregnant stomach and asks you what you're hoping for is "Oh, I don't mind as long as it's healthy". This is often, I suspect, a lie. Not that you wouldn't ultimately hope the foetus will pop out healthy (the whole issue around the desire for a healthy baby, parental love and when babies are not 'healthy' is one I'm not addressing today - but I know it's problematic for some) most people are bound to have a preference. Many a misery memoir begins with 'my mother wanted a girl/boy, being a boy/girl I was a disappointment. However while it's apparently fine to touch someone's gestating belly it's not considered polite to reply with a desired sex. The most diplomatic approach, it seems to me, is to reply: "Naw, that's just a food baby". Squeamish Kate writes...
Conquering the mound
The window of American Apparel always looks like an 80s Keep Fit (remember? Every Thursday night your mum went down the village hall and did an hour of Keep Fit in a leotard and leggings and that was OK) video still. With brightly coloured of metallic lycra stretched across mannequins buttocks and strips of material that could be a headband or a skirt you're not sure. Well, it's yet to be covered on BBC Radio 4's flagship programme Today but in addition to the visible nipples and big glasses adults don't wear any more, American Apparel have continued with the nostalgic nudity and whacked merkins down their mannequins be-leotarded crotches and everybody is talking about it. Squeamish Kate writes...
Why are we still dancing on our own?
Hey everybody, this is a feminism party and everybody's invited! Accept you. Oh and it appears feminism is holding this party all wrong. First of all everybody knows feminists don't have parties - unless it's political party, which probably explains the lack of paper cups round here. Second of all it looks like you feminists are concentrating on all the wrong things. You should be only concerning yourselves with one thing at a time - your pretty little heads are only able to hold one cause at a time, so let's prioritise and see what Michael White says Barbara Castle would do (I'm getting WMWSBCWD on a wristband so's I can always remember and I suggest you do the same) because you are all getting over excited and hysterical. No more pop for you feminists. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Patter of STFU
You might think it's just your parents, wistfully looking in the Mothercare window whilst just letting you know that an old school acquaintance you weren't all that friendly with has had a baby, that are on womb-watch. Or maybe you think it is only newlyweds who have to bat away impatient and inappropriate comments about when they will hear the patter of tiny feet. But if you're a woman and you're childfree then the media has something to say to you and science has reminded them they've got science to back their concern about when you're going to have a baby. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Body Issue Solutions
Friday finally. Tough week? So tough that you got swoobs? Really, you don't know what swoobs are? Are you sure because it...really looks like you are kind of suffering from them. Yeah we can see your swoobs. Oh, gross don't make us say it! Sweaty boobs! SWOOBS! Don't worry you can fix it, there are products out there you can buy - not just the deodorant you put on your armpits, no, specialised boob stuff. Like Bust Dust, or Fresh Breasts, or Boobalicious Breast Deodorant. OK you're cynical now but in a year you will be fretting about your swoobs. In the meantime we have come up with some other physical concerns you might not have thought of that we can create a product to fix...
Never Say Sorry
Lord Rennard is refusing to offer up the apology it has been suggested he might like to make over allegations of sexual harassment of women activists. Well look, what kind of suggestive business suits have Lib Dem ladies been wearing? Has anybody asked that? Were they compiling sexy expense claims for the taxpayers to cover? Or simply doing that thing infuriating thing cis-women tend to do and walk around with genitals and secondary sex characteristics like boobs under their clothing? Unreasonable. Unreasonable! And wait, get this, these ladies want their complaints regarding who says what to them to get a proper response. Squeamish Kate writes...
OK I believe you, Cupid
Surprise! Online dating for women often involves wading through piles of metaphorical dogshit in the form of terrible comments, unsolicited sexual advances, rudeness and a seeming inability to reply to the personal ad you spent so long carefully crafting.
If this is indeed news to you then I assume that either you have never so much as opened a dating site. Or that you're a bloke who doesn't have or talk to any of his female friends. Squeamish Louise writes... Caffeine and Validation
You have probably noticed reports of a study popping up in your Facebook/Twitter/water cooler conversations concerning who made the better lifestyle choice and is therefore happier. Currently winning in the competition of life are childless couples. Turns out disposable income, regular mini breaks, eating out, un-gated stairs and sharp cornered furniture are all part of the pathway to happiness. Who knew. Who could possibly even guess? Of course you can only help your circumstances so much, we know that. But the important thing is we're all pitted against each other. Squeamish Kate writes...
Educating Sue is our mature student series, Sue negotiates life as a mature student at Warwick, having been out of education for over 40 years. The series mainly documents her dental woes.
Happy New Year everyone! I have installed an app on my phone called SeatGeek, with a view to finding the best theatre deals around and about in the New Year. When you hit 'explore events', you then need to enter your location. Not an unreasonable request. So I went for Birmingham, and it gave me a whole host of Birmingham's to choose from, all of which turned out to be in the States! So it's unlikely I will get to the Macomb Music Theatre in Birmingham New Jersey in time for a performance by Michael Buble tomorrow I fear. He is apparently a gentleman; my son who hosts a show on a local radio station, interviewed him live in his hotel room when he was staying in Manchester. Manchester England that is, not Manchester New Hampshire. Squeamish Sue writes... 
Michael Gove got loads of press at the start of the week when he criticised Blackadder. Maybe that's unfair. Not the criticism he got - the focus on Blackadder. After all it wasn't the only TV show he mentioned in the Mail - he actually wrote, referring to the First World War: "The conflict has, for many, been seen through the fictional prism of dramas such as Oh! What a Lovely War, The Monocled Mutineer and Blackadder, as a misbegotten shambles - a series of catastrophic mistakes perpetrated by an out-of-touch elite."
And that's the really important fact that is being forgotten here - that there are LOADS of TV shows out there masquerading as trustworthy historical documentaries and brainwashing us all. For example... Poppin' to feel better
Over 50 million prescriptions for antidepressants were given in the UK during 2012, according to the Health and Social Care Information Service. That's the kind of headline grabbing figure that prompts soul searching about whether we, as a nation, are addicted, or ill or weak
(in part; sometimes; and probably not). I can't answer the big questions about the nation's mental health. But I can tell you what it's like to go onto antidepressants - and to come off them. Squeamish Louise writes... Watch and Learn
It is all thanks to TV really, that any of us know how to act like real people. Who knows what would become of us if we didn't have the TV Guide (if you will. And you will) to help us negotiate life as a Single Woman Lawyer or a Flatmate or Pensive Older Male. TV helps us know our limits. Older male looking for a place in life? Have you tried smouldering and being interchangeably intimidating and wise? Young sexy lady? Girl, find your inner ditz - don't ever sort yourself out and never become financially independent or old ya hear?! Young man? Play the field - maybe in a hat! You're a gay young man? Oh honey you don't get a life you get sassy comeback lines Ok? Ok. Older woman? Sorry - who? No, I... I didn't hear you, say again? Older what now? No, there's no story arc for you here. Do you want to be a mean and bitter mother? You only appear via someone younger's silences on the phone though. Squeamish Kate writes...
My Feminism is not a T-shirt Campaign
Because it is still very early on in the new year (taking into consideration people only just stopped exclaiming "Oh yes, it's 2013! Gosh!" as they wrote down the date come about August time this could go on a while) and the media is trying to bulk out the 'new year, new you' stories and reflective 2013 (gosh can you believe it's 2014!?) stories and add a twist. 2014, it seems, will be the year of the How-to. And not the useful kind of How-to that shows you how to re-wire a plug, back flip, or take off the back of your phone (we all have different strengths) on Youtube. A kind of unwarranted sort. Mostly discussing how we can be better feminists. Squeamish Kate writes...
A Pox Upon our Young
Recently Public Health England released figures to the Daily Mail concerning children under the age of consent and STIs. Over 5000 children under 16 were diagnosed with STIs in 2012. This number has more than doubled since 2003, with cases being reported of under 16s being treated for chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes, warts and other STIs. Is this hysteria over a minority? Meh, perhaps perhaps. In fact looking at the recorded numbers... why, yes. But how long do you wait before you react? Squeamish Kate
Friday 5...2014 Predictions
We reckon you have until about the 4th of January of any year to crack out the phrase "Happy New Year!" So Happy New Year dear reader/s, we hope 2013 was a good'un and that 2014 will bring joy, intersectionality and cheaper electricity bills. We are kind of sick of new year's resolutions, so instead we decided to reveal our predictions for 2014, please refer back come 31st December 2014 to see how eeriely correct we were...
Crotchety over Nudity
One of the things you will never hear me fondly reminisce about is communal changing rooms. Are you old enough to remember those? I think I caught the tail end of those horrors just as I hit 13 - though not puberty. The days of happily showing peers in the (temporarily, we were primary school kids) mixed sex changing rooms at Studley Swimming Pool the knicker trick (taking your pants off AFTER you'd put your costume on) were so over, the idea of even taking my top off in the communal changing rooms of Jeffrey Rogers (remember?) was anathema to me. Squeamish Kate writes...
Putting Abuse in the Dictionary
In March of this year the definition of domestic abuse was changed to include the term 'coercive control', this was added to the domestic abuse definition of "any incident of threatening behaviour, or abuse between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality". Now a campaign is under way to pilot a bill through parliament making emotional blackmail a crime. The new draft bill proposes making it illegal to "make contact with a victim in an aggressive way" and to "intend to control or coerce" your partner.
Such a crime will carry the penalty of up to 14 years imprisonment. It is another step towards not just acknowledging the damage domestic abuse can cause but helping victims define what is happening to them and realise their partner's behaviour is not usual in a healthy relationship. Squeamish Kate writes... Obvious Plotline
Back in 2009 director Gillian Robespierre made a little 20 minute film, a rom-com no less, called Obvious Child about a woman called Donna (played by Jenny Slate of Marcel the Shell fame) who has an encounter of the genital kind (please begin to refer to sex like that, it's what 2014 is going to be all about) with a guy called Peter that results in an unwanted pregnancy. It's not too much of a spoiler to tell you that hijinks and abortion ensues.
What? Yeah, a storyline featuring an abortion. I know what you're thinking, she regrets it yeah? The film must be constructed of flashbacks about the mildly traumatic termination of her pregnancy which she regrets forever. Or it all goes tits up like in Dirty Dancing and somebody's doctor father has to come and administer an unexplained injection. OR she almost goes through with it but then falls for the unlikely information that while she has yet to develop a bump that blastocyst is ready for its manicure, a la Juno. Squeamish Kate writes... Merry Christmas!
Friday 5...Santa Truths
So there we have it, call him Santa Claus or Father Christmas or whatever, the only thing we have really been wondering about is what race Santa is. That matters more than the travelling round the world in a night thing, the present thing, the whole living in the North Pole or, as the Dutch would have you believe, Spain (phh) or any other Santa mysteries. Coke settled the uniform thing ages ago and now Fox News Anchor Megyn Kelly has settled the race question. "Santa just IS white. Santa is what he is. I just wanted to get that straight."Thanks Megs, so what else do we know about Father Christmas?
2013 with its pants down
Because it's that time of year (the end) where we are required to look back and, if we would be so kind, list certain events on a scale of 1 to 10 as though we are all trapped in some never endingI Heart This Past Yearprogramme doomed to pretend to recall fondly events such as the spacehopper craze and bumbags.
Remember? Remember? Crazy days. Crazy, crazy days. Anyway it's that or an article about how to survive the office Christmas party, or how to enjoy Christmas with your family because it never occurred to you they don't like you either, or a list of wildly expensive gift ideas for him, her, them and who. Squeamish Kate writes... Bey Scrutiny
Perhaps it is best to just be a half-assed feminist than any other kind of feminist. To dip in and out as and when. Sometimes it's a light-hearted piss take, on occasion a sincere feminist call to arms. Get it wrong? Oh well what do you expect, I never said I was anything more than a half-assed feminist. Beyonce has made the mistake of saying she was a feminist, not a half-assed feminist. Bringing up that question we've been asking for years, can you be a feminist and married to Jay Z? Squeamish Kate writes...
Reputational Damage
On a commute, reading over someone's shoulder (yes I am that person) I saw that Exeter University had the privilege of having the horniest student attend their place of learning. Elina Desaine won the title and £500 from the shagatuni, the UK's naughtiest student hook up site. While I did roll my eyes and fail to think 'congratulations Elina' I naively didn't expect repercussions. Having attended uni in the mid 2000s I know uni life is not the out-dated stereotype of politically aware young adults with bohemian tendencies, at my uni someone calling herself 'Boobs' ran for a union post and allegedly the football team infected each other with Chlamydia by drinking each others piss. Squeamish Kate writes...
Sugar and Spice and Multitasking
We recently learned that it has been confirmed (confirmed!) that the male and female brain are totes different. Ragini Verma, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, commented that the findings support stereotypes such as the idea (now fact) that the male brain is made up of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails and the female brain is sugar and spice and multitasking. "If you look at functional studies, the left of the brain is more for logical thinking, the right of the brain is for more intuitive thinking. So if there's a task that involves doing both of those things, it would seem that women are hardwired to do those better...Women are better at intuitive thinking. Women are better at remembering things. When you talk, women are more emotionally involved - they will listen more." Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Selfie Situations
This week the selfie made a comeback, thanks to President Obama, mystery smiling blonde/Denmark's Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt and David Cameron (who looks a little like he invited himself into this selfie, don't you think?) taking a sneaky selfie at Mandela's memorial service. We thought that it was time for the selfie to give way to the belfie but we still haven't quite worked out the correct selfie etiquette, and posting flatteringly angled photos of ourselves on Instagram #nofilter, is proving too addictive. Turn AWAY from the camera? Are you mad? Instead perhaps we need to focus on when to selfie and when not to selfie, that is the question...
Agency for Women in Skirts
Agency. It seems that women are continually infantalized. It's not just the constant marketing barrage for anti-ageing products, the popularity of Hello Kitty and baby pink with grown women nor the raging desire to talk about how many sleeps it is until Christmas. There's nothing wrong in any of that - provided you really like Hello Kitty, it's nothing to do with me. No, it is the constant demand that women second guess themselves. Oh you came to that conclusion yourself? Maybe have another think about it then. Not even a patronising 'well done you', well nuts to you patriarchy (see what I did there? Nuts! No?). Women who demonstrate agency seem to be required to constantly explain and defend themselves. Squeamish Kate writes...
The story of Christmas vulnerable
I haven't been to many office Christmas parties in my life. Being an eternal student and then working in an office where the boss once took us and our notepads out to a cafe, had a meeting over soup then announced that had been the Office Christmas party means I just haven't had the chance. Fortunately this also means I have never had to partake in the seasonal office tradition of Secret Santa.
There was an office party, at my boss's house, where we played Dirty Santa. A game where you and your co-worker friends can duke it out over gifts with a value of $25 - no gift is safe as you can demand a colleague give you the present they just opened. However Dirty Santa is apparently no good for office wooing. Squeamish Kate writes... You can touch, you can play
You can try to ignore it, say you don't celebrate it, make sure you have to work come the day, telling everyone you don't mind, because New Years Eve is more your thing. But Christmas approaches and with it various articles full of gift ideas. Which you might briefly skim. Gosh I bet you're tired of it all. Wouldn't you rather read about who isn't getting what this year? How aboutRebecca Atkinson's daughter, who will not be getting her yearned for gift this year.
Atkinson's 4 year old daughter wants to bring a monster from her mother's own childhood into the family home. Squeamish Kate writes... Boys and Girls Come out to Play
Because I'm not a scientist, but an editor of websites I don't like my research to be factual so much as based on my own personal experience. Why? Oh, I hear it's super zeitgeisty to do so and everybody loves a well times anecdote being applied to or dismissing a study, right? Right? Yeah I thought as much. So get ready for a ton of personal pronouns to be thrown at this study about boy girl relationships. In a collaboration with the NSPCC Professor Emma Renold of Cardiff University has undertaken a study into the relationships between girls and boys, Boys and Girls Speak Out, a Qualitative Study of Children's Gender and Sexual Cultures (age 10-12). Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Pills
Once again, it seems that a pill for men may be just around the corner. And by that, we don't mean that an agency has taken it upon themselves to redesign a seemingly gender-Âneutral product so that it is aimed exclusively at one in a (probably) doomed to boost sales (like... hmm, pens?).
No, this is a male contraceptive pill we're talking about. It's a much more complicated process to develop than a female contraceptive pill, but researchers have made a breakthrough by identifying two proteins that can be blocked to prevent the launch of sperm cells from the testes during ejaculation. Those members of the Squeamish team who've had bad experiences with oral contraception (weight gain and libido death to name just two) think it sounds like a great idea. But it also got us thinking about how convenient life would be if you could just swallow a pill and see effects even more impressive than the absence of children... Sizing up Diversity with Mannequins
Maybe it's because I'm short. Or pale. Or ginger. Maybe it's because my mother somehow managed not to pass on any of her own physical insecurities (all mine are my own) but in spite of not resembling mannequins I tend to worry more about whether I can afford the clothes they are sporting rather than why I couldn't wear the exact same outfit. Note how that sentence is the wrong way round. Did you spot the mistake there? Mannequins should resemble me rather than me resemble them surely? Squeamish Kate writes...
Why We Shouldn't get Hormonal About The Male Pill
The male pill is often discussed. Never in terms of chemistry and biology or how it will work. Never in terms of how, like the current contraceptive pill, it won't stop any STDs being transmitted. But always in terms of whether or not women will trust men to take their pill.
Recently in SCIENCE there has been a reported study in Australia, where scientists believe they may have found a reversible way of stopping sperm getting into the ejaculate, without affecting sexual function. Squeamish Kate writes... Good-bi to Sexual Labelling
Who'd be famous? Or be a teenager again? Let alone both. Having to do
your growing up in public with endless speculation and commentary. Tom
Daley has had more than his fair share of scrutiny already. I barely
follow sport and yet I know that the 19-year-old was bullied to the
extent of needing to change schools; that his dad died a couple of years
ago; that he did well in his GCSEs and A Levels; that he is in a
relationship with a man. Oh yeah, and also that he's an incredibly
talented Olympic-level diver who's already got a bronze medal and is
aiming for gold in Rio 2016. That's a lot to have gone through in a few
years for anyone. Squeamish Louise writes...
Shiny, Sexy People
Britney started it, back in 1999. A pop star who not only wasn't having sex, but had never had sex (not like that Christina Aguilera, oh that genie had been out of the bottle before you could just TELL), we might have heard rumours about the virginity of the virgin princess of pop but she definitely started a craze with her sexy dancing sex riot moves. And it's a weird one. One that people blame the state of teenage girls self esteem on, teen pregnancy rates and STDs are dragged into the matter too. The sexy pop video, that from 1999 onwards has just got sexier. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Festivals
Nothing to do this weekend because your friends are all at ATP festival saying goodbye to holiday camp chalet fun with the indie kids? You know Slint's playing? Not that we care. And Shellac, obviously, else it would be the one ATP they didn't make. But, you know, while it might be the end of an era for ATP, and people will be providing anecdotes for years about how they were there, we have some festival stories of our own to share. In totally non bitter tones and everything...
A Recipe for Hashtags
This week we have been dividing ourselves into teams. Are you#TeamNigella? I note there isn't much of a #TeamSaatchi, even though I wouldn't join it, but I'm not sure I'm #TeamNigella either. I am wary of a woman who tried to casually insert the phrase'Christmas welcome table' into the English Christmas lexicon,and messes about with perfectly good sprouts. I am #TeamAntiDomesticViolence but that takes up a lot of my 140 Twitter characters and apparently that isn't the focus. Whether or not you like Nigella is.
This week in a case unrelated to Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi's divorce allegations have come out concerning Nigella and her alleged drug use. The TV chef's two former assistants, sisters Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo have been accused of fraud by Saatchi for misappropriating over £300,000 which they spent on designer clothes and plane tickets. Squeamish Kate writes... Too Much, Too Young
Yesterday we had two reports concerning the nations sexual health in the news. The Office of the Children's Commissioner for England released the results of its Inquiry into Child Sexual Exploitation in Gangs and Groups (CSEGG). The Deputy Children's Commissioner, Sue Berelowitz, called the results "chilling."
They are chilling. They are chilling in the same manner that crime thrillers can be, where our hero makes the discovery that makes their blood run cold. They've been working alongside the perpetrator all along. Berelowitz explained: "We have found shocking and profoundly distressing evidence of sexual assault, including rape, being carried out by young people against other children and young people." Squeamish Kate writes... Regretful Phrasing
I'm a word person. I like words and therefore I like definitions. I don't like it when words change their meaning. I understand that the English language is something that develops and changes (see I picked those words rather than 'evolves') because it is alive. Which is why sometimes things are done for prosperity, or people will earnestly announce that pacifically speaking the grocer's apostrophe doesn't matter. Sometimes I can just groan a little and sometimes these things annoy the hell out of me. Usually it is the latter. Squeamish Kate writes...
Who Next?
How do you celebrate the 50th birthday of your most eccentric uncle? Especially when he's been several different people and millions of people worldwide are coming to the party? The pressure and expectation could have ended badly for the BBC, but in an hour crammed with multiple Doctors, stunning special effects, insider jokes and a strong central story, they pulled it off.
Even if you weren't one of the 10.8 million people who watched the 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who live on TV or the further millions who watched it at cinemas or later, it would have been hard to avoid the hype. Even the Google Doodle was given over to Doctor Who on both Friday and Saturday. Spoilers ahead! Squeamish Louise & Gareth write... Friday 5...Literary Awards
We recently learned that the latest Bridget Jones, Mad About The Boy missed out on being nominated for the prestigious Literary Review Bad Sex Award. Which, we think Mister Wallaker would agree, is a shame. Oh, oh. All that SAS training, wasted.
The purpose of the prize, according to the Literary Review is "to draw attention to the crude, badly written, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it." We think there are a few other bad habits authors have developed and they should be discouraged. So here are some more awards we suggest the Literary Review consider for next year... Educating Sue: Off the Hinges
This evening is the first time since I started back at uni in September, that I have not been racing to finish to meet a deadline. Packed into these few short weeks have been a comparative seminar presentation on social welfare in Europe pre 1914, a survey design which first had to be piloted, an evaluation of how I will go about a 5000 research essay on race and the inclusive society, a 2500 word essay on Health and Illness, a 2500 word essay on the political impact of social welfare around the Franco-Prussian war and finally, my share of a group presentation to be delivered next week on whether ageing is all about decline and disadvantage. Right now I think it might be! And exactly none of our lectures and seminars is in the Sociology building; they are scattered to the four corners of campus and to get from one venue to another you have to be sharp about it thank you very much. Squeamish Sue writes...
Masters of Y'know...Sex
Have you been watching Masters of Sex? If you haven't, you should. Right now. It's NSFW, though I hear most offices frown on you watching online catch-up TV on the clock, so maybe not right now. But it's worth a (what the Oxford English Dictionary would call) binge watch over the weekend. Even if it is purely to see Janisfrom Mean Girls doing so well. Masters of Sex tells the story of Masters and Johnson (I know, you couldn't make it up) who, from 1957 to 65 recorded some of the first laboratory based data, using direct observation, on human sexual response. This data allowed them to debunk the previously believed thought that vaginal lubrication originated from the cervix as well as many other misconceptions about sex and orgasms. Squeamish Kate writes...
International Day of the Battle of the Sexes
Happy International Men's Day! Hey guys (and I mean guys), this one is for you. I wrote about International Men's Day a while ago, mainly because I had forgotten about it. Unlike International Women's Day, which usually has various events and few articles asking if women need such a day, International Men's Day creeps in surprisingly quietly. Unlike a man at a feminist meeting who likes to point out in the middle of your point that not all men are like that, International Men's Day seems to not be so invested in making a big deal. Or they need a new PR. Squeamish Kate writes...
Trouble at the intersection
So, last week we had the feminist debacle where people, or rather Twitter feminists (who are people, this is just the preferred medium for them to converse in) were torn over the Lily Allen video. In which a few things were perhaps unintentionally overlooked in order to get a slightly botched feminist message across. One message at the expense of two others on my last count. 'It is the new feminist pop, you can't dismiss it, it has feminist intentions!' or 'this in-fighting weakens feminism.' If you truly think putting on a united front is more important than getting the front right then it's possible you haven't thought the end result through as much as you believed. Squeamish Kate...
Friday 4...Feminist Anthems
This week saw a newfeminist anthem thrust upon us. As when anything is called feminist and presented to the feminists it got ripped apart. Some feminists loved it and hailed it as the beginning of a new pop video era. Some feminists did not care for it because it did not satirise the music industry in the way the director and singer might have intended.
But! Let's not dwell, instead let allow us to direct you toWoman's Hour's interesting discussion on the subject and decide what our feminist anthems are. Joss Whedon F Word Slayer
I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the TV show, and I'm not going to apologise for that. Just as I don't think anyone who hated it should need to. I was the right demographic to find Buffy's adventures slaying demons (that were essentially metaphors for Teenage Issues) engrossing. I was never a massive fan of the eponymous heroine - more of a Faith girl myself even if her moral compass was a bit shakier. But it was all about the writing and the characters and, let's be honest, the pretty. I had a similar love affair years later with the cruelly-mistreated Firefly.
Why would I be apologising for my appreciation of these TV shows? Well, because earlier this week I made the dispiriting discovery that their creator and lead writer Joss Whedon is...a bit of an asshat. Squeamish Louise writes... Feminism has a Baggy Grasp on Solidarity
It is inviting sighs and lots of 'everyone has written about this today' comments and statements of how bored Twitter is already of this. But while I have seen a few blogs and tweets being quick off the mark to note the problems with Lily Allen's new video, I have seen far more tweets, blogs, comments and articles celebrating it. Both sides (and it does come down to 'sides', nothing divides like pop culture) seem to be touting feminism. So why the divide? Squeamish Kate writes...
It Takes a Voucher to Raise a Baby
The UK has the worst breastfeeding rates in the world. As in we breastfeed for the shortest amount of time, not as in our breastfeeding style is the worst. Few mothers in the UK breastfeed beyond 6 to 8 weeks. In some parts of the country the figure is just below 20%. Perhaps our reaction as a society to breastfeeding is the worst. Which has caused a bit of a brainwave at Sheffield University. What if we knew these babies only had their mother's breasts on show for the money? You know, like Page 3 breasts.
Bottle-feeding is more popular in low-income areas of the UK, it is in these areas this study would like to offer up to 200 quids worth of shopping vouchers for those who choose to breastfeed instead of bottle-feed. Through this the study hopes to find out whether financial incentive can overcome cultural, negative attitudes towards breastfeeding. Squeamish Kate writes... On the Shelf...The Goldfinch
SPOILER ALERT! A sprawling, complex novel, more a character study, the plot of Donna Tartt's The Goldfinch moves slowly, encompassing around fifteen years of Theo Decker's life.
Growing up in New York City with his mother and an absent father, everything changes for Theo when the museum that he's visiting with his mother explodes, killing her. In the aftermath, amongst the wreckage, he finds himself comforting an old man, who, in his delirium, asks him to put a painting, The Goldfinch, in a carrier bag, he also gives him a ring, and an address to take it to. Theo leaves the museum with The Goldfinch, the object which is to haunt him for...well, the rest of the novel. Amelia writes... Friday 5...Favourite Teachers
We often find ourselves discussing women characters on TV and in films. Often they are needy, prissy and dull. One character however was spiteful, resentful, lonely, sarcastic and in some episodes vulnerable or thoughtful. It seems peculiar but this cartoon character was far more real than many other women who grace our screens. The recent death of Marcia Wallace, who voiced Edna Krabappel, Bart Simpson's long suffering teacher, means one less acerbic woman on our screens. With this and the recent teacher's strike we thought now was a good time to talk about our favourite teachers.
Sorry for working for free
I have a friend who, having once told me saying please and thank-you were silly Victorian archaisms, spends much of her time smiling widely at those who have wronged her as she says: "sorry!" This not because she consciously puts into practise the Christian 'turn the other cheek' teaching, but rather a habit that is either used to balance out my surliness or simply to keep the peace. Even she doesn't quite know why she does it. Her drink will be spilt as she's jostled at a gig, a man will aggressively make an advance on her, someone will jump the queue she's in: "sorry!" "Sorry!" "Sorry!"
I should tell you she no longer dismisses the old P's & Q's. Nor is she much of a pushover. She is an intelligent, adult woman who makes good decisions and works hard. Well, hardish. Look she's a normal woman who I love and respect and unfortunately seems to have fallen foul of the apparently female habit of over-apologising. Squeamish Kate writes... Loss of Expectation
The subject of miscarriage is not one to be taken lightly. According to the charity Tommy's while it is hard to ascertain an accurate figure, out 1 in 7 recognised pregnancies end in miscarriage, while the incidence of spontaneous (unrecognised) miscarriage is estimated to be 50% of all pregnancies. Paying homage to the old 'if you don't laugh, you'll cry' writer and actress Emma Deakin has written a play on the subject of miscarriage, Expectations directed by Stella Duffy. Expectations deals with the subjects of miscarriage, unplanned pregnancy, IVF, bodies and gay best friends (yes a bit in the style of a Madonna film with Rupert Everett) that allows for both laughter and tears. Squeamish Kate writes...
Less Invasive tests? PAP!
I don't know anybody who has what can be described as a 'good' smear test story as such. Funny? Yeah, sure why not. Shocking? Yes. Embarrassing? Uh, yes. But I don't know one woman who can tell, or hear a smear test story without automatically crossing her legs. It isn't something that comes up much in polite conversation because eeeeesh! Charity PR don't seem to be able to make the entrance to the womb cute. Which is silly because, armed with my Biology AS Level I understand it to be pink. That's a lady marketing dream, no? And there doesn't seem to be much happening in way of making the test less invasive. Bar tips on demanding plastic speculums, or if it is metal, demanding it be warmed. A friend once got her labia nipped by a speculum. What can you recommend to solve that? Loose lips...Speculum nips. Squeamish Kate writes...
Sober October
I've just finished a month without booze. 31 alcohol-free days. Why and how? Near the beginning of September I heard about Sober October - basically, give up booze for a month and get people to sponsor you for Macmillan Cancer Support. I signed up. Partly because it sounded like a great way to make money for a cause that's close to my heart and that I am aiming to raise a lot of money for over the next eight months (quick disclaimer: I work for Macmillan. But I'm not writing this - or anything here - in any sort of official or representative capacity). But also because I thought a month off the sauce could be a good idea. Squeamish Louise writes...
friday 5...freaky weather
I don't know if you noticed, but the South of England had a bit of weather at the start of the week. Trains stopped running, trees were felled, and worst of all everyone posted the same damn joke picture of garden furniture being blown over again and again on social media and seemed to keep on thinking it was funny. But we persevered, because we're nothing if not resilient in this country. Sure, friends and colleagues from other countries might have started asking slightly pointed questions about public transport, or talking about the three feet of snow they get every winter or earthquake drills, but they're just showing off. But as we stockpiled tinned goods, checked the batteries on our torches and filled up our emergency water bottles at Squeamish HQ, we got to wondering. Was this really the most extreme weather we'd ever seen, or could perhaps we each recall something even more extreme? Turns out we could...
Bettie we weren't readie
It's Halloween today and for every person who is planning on pulling on some beige coloured underwear, tying their hair into two top knots and sticking their tongue out Miley style, you can bet your Halloween Haribo there will be someone donning a black wig and kicking it Bettie Page style.
When the Bettie Page biopic The Notorious Bettie Page came out in 2005 I remember being surprised at just how innocent Bettie was portrayed as being. While it was plausible to think of a sheltered Christian girl from Tennessee being rather naïve about sex and what might be considered – even now – deviant behaviour, it seems slightly less plausible to think she would happily pose in thigh high boots and a whip no questions asked. Lalala. Squeamish Kate writes... The Antidate to Dating
My online writing has often been built around the fact I am single. I have taken money from Jane Pratt to advertise the fact I am single here and here. I have written about being single on Squeamish Bikini so many times I don't think I even dare to do a quick search through the archives (although you should - many a happy hour has been lost doing such a thing). However by now you may, dear reader, be thinking 'well why don't you bloody well do something about it?' Well reader, while I don't like your tone I have to tell you that I did. And in East London of all places, at Manero's for Speakeasy Sitting Room Squeamish Kate writes...
Bump and Grind
Perhaps what started it is all those fat Buddha statues inviting you to rub their bellies for luck and wealth and maybe a more comprehensive knowledge of Eastern religion so that you become rich, lucky and aware you have the Chinese folkloric Budai to thank for it, rather than Siddhartha Gautama. Or maybe it is social media, making everyone believe privacy is only there to be instagrammed and invaded. It is probably just a natural, physical extension of the popular opinion that women's bodies are there to be commented upon. Quite why it is apparently acceptable to reach out and touch a pregnant woman's belly without her consent I will never know. Squeamish Kate writes...
Political Brand revolution
I read an interview with Russell Brand a couple of years ago in which he railed against current politics, then admitted he didn't vote. Since then he's come up with a reason why. Perhaps in preparation for this stint editing the New Statesman, probably because no one would face Jeremy Paxman without thinking up a couple of excuses/plausible explanations/escape routes. Mainly I imagine because it makes for a good routine and paints him as the reclining revolutionary. I got sent a press release that was simply the Paxman interview on YouTube. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Spooked
No, it is not technically Halloween but in America they have been celebrating all month and we are all well aware that while Halloween is not until Thursday this is the weekend we will have to celebrate it if we don't want anybody sneering something along the lines of it being November. So today is our mandatory Halloween theme post. Steering clear of the increasingly outlandish fancy dress options open to those who celebrate, we've gone proper spooky with this theme with stories of when the Squeamish team was most spooked on Halloween...
TERF Wars
Trigger warning: mentions transphobia, harassment, outing and transphobic hate crimes.
If you follow many feminists on twitter it would be hard not to have noticed the arguments between trans activists and 'trans exclusive radical feminists' [TERFs]. I say arguments. I mean harassment and abuse, more often than not. I read, again and again, TERFs who refer to women as 'he' because they have decided that gender dysphoria does not exist; that these women are, in fact, men putting on an elaborate masquerade in order to - what, exactly? Gain access to women-only spaces? Destroy feminism? I'm not sure, but the TERFs are certainly angry about it. Squeamish Louise writes... How to die alone
All the single ladies, all the single ladies put your hands down, you must be tired. Tired of dancing merrily to Beyonce singing about being an Independent Woman, or explaining away a single status - you're too bootylicious for them all. So you aren't crazy in love, who cares? You're a survivor and you need to say no no no to all the pressure that comes with being single.
Oh you weren't feeling pressure? Were you prancing about all fancy-free eating what you want, when you want, going where you like and doing what you like? Oh good grief, oh you poor lamb hang on I'm going to do a really, really sympathetic face at you for a few moments until you grasp the severity of your situation. Then I shall refer you to the Guardian's life and style piece for single women, Single Women: how to be happy dating, or alone. Squeamish Kate writes... Talking and Not Talking
Femen. The seed of Femen has been suckled (see what I did there? 'Cos tits? I know they are the most important part of Femen) from a small topless protest in the Ukraine to puppies out in Paris to flashing Putin and grabbing headlines. The message is supposed to be about women's rights. The message is 'look how pert this attractive young woman's tits look as the police drag her away'.
Nobody loves a bit of a tit flash coupled with a brief news feature as much as the UK. Therefore it makes sense that Femen should have the UK in their sights for setting up a new branch. What will the group bring to the UK that it doesn't already have in its own homegrown feminist groups? Squeamish Kate writes... Hard to Bare
A study by Superdrug has been released that tells us on average women wait 4 weeks and one day before revealing their bare face to their new partner/casual lover/on again off again beau. Of the 2000 women, aged between 18 and 55, surveyed most said that being seen without make-up made them feel vulnerable, less confident and less attractive. Superdrug's head of beauty Sarah Sharp commented that: "The research indicates that for many women wearing make-up isn't just a way of looking attractive, it's much more than that, it's a way to be confident and project an image... Many women consider going au natural in front of a new partner quite a serious step, they are exposing themselves completely..." Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 4...Disney Tales
Magical kingdom makers Disney have unleashed their magical forces on another fairytale classic. Remember The Snow Queen? Oh yeah that story where Gerda treks the snowy wastelands (shoeless! After she gives her red shoes to a river! Almost memoryless after she has her hair brushed by a witch!) to rescue her best friend Kai from the clutches of the Snow Queen WHO Kai's grandmother had warned them about countless times, boys why don't you listen to your grandmothers?
Well, Disney remembers it differently. Firstly Gerda and Kai are now sisters Anna and Elsa and there's a big guy with a reindeer sidekick. Oh yeah it's not called The Snow Queen any more, it's called Frozen. But other than that Hans Christian Anderson would totally know what you were talking about. We've come up with some more ideas for Disney to use... No More No More Page 3?
If I woke up tomorrow to find that The Sun newspaper had decided to scrap Page 3, would I be upset? No In fact I'd probably be glad to hear it So do I support the No More Page 3 campaign? Well, that's a slightly tricky question. But I think the answer is no.
When the campaign was first launched I was all for it. The idea that straight men are entitled to objectify women as part of their morning routine is not a pleasant one. But I've found my views shifting, thanks in large part to frustration with the campaign and its advocates. Squeamish Louise writes... On The Shelf: An ALien Romp
I love a good historical romp, and The Alchemist of Souls doesn't disappoint. Set in an alternate Elizabethan history, where a race of beings known as Skraylings have voyaged to England from the New World, and are grudgingly welcomed for their advanced technologies, while shunned as witches for the very same reasons.
A seemingly down-on-his-luck nobleman, Mal is the son of a British ambassador, with more sword skills than you can thrust a rapier at. He is pressed into service as bodyguard for the Skrayling ambassador, and yet his reticence to serve seems to run deeper than the usual distrust of strangers. Amelia writes... Doing the Accent
I have been watching Jennifer Saunders off the teleovision on the teleovision
since I was 11 or 12 and became aware of Absolutely Fabulous. I was then introduced to Jennifer Saunders as the straight woman in a double act, via a video (yes I possibly am old) my aunt gave to my mum of French and Saunders. And it's been love ever since. So when I was asked to review the audiobook of the official Jennifer Saunders memoirs Bonkers: My Life in Laughs on Audible.com for Squeamish Bikini I was probably the most stoked I have been about this site since I got a free packet of popcorn at a launch last week. If you haven't already got the idea that this review is going to be gushing then allow me to be clear. My only criticism of this book is Jennifer Saunders off the teleovision's mispronunciation of "wrath." Squeamish Kate writes... Women! The Musical
Last Saturday's Weekend Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4 focused on women in music in anticipation of today's 6 Music Peel Lecturewhich will be given by Charlotte Church on the theme of women.
Presented by Kenickie band member turned presenter Lauren Laverne (who manages to frustrate me and crack me up in equal measure) the programme announced its intention to explore why, while six of the biggest selling albums of the past decade were by women but men still out number women in the singles chart. They also continue to hold the fort on all other aspects of the music industry, producing, DJ-ing, PR-ing etc. Several women from the music industry were invited to discuss this on the programme. Squeamish Kate writes... friday 5...open letters
Dear Reader,
It has come to our attention that the open letter is once again a popular medium through which to communicate slightly personal criticisms that are entirely unsolicited. Because everything is now public, instead of the person at the receiving end usually having to petition the paper or publisher of said open letter to allow for a reply they can now turn to their Twitter feed, bringing new meaning to the saying 'a little bird told me'. We wondered if we had an open letter in us just waiting to be published. And it turned out we did, which was fortunate because it's the theme of this week's Friday 5... Soho Much for Protection
It is the subject that divides feminists more than the subject of male presence in feminist spaces. More than what importance we place on being cis or not being transphobic. More than the luxuriousness of our bikini lines. More than whether or not we heat our communes by using putting bras in the brazier (I slay me). It is the subject of sex work. Should we support it or not? How do we define the peculiar line of 'selling your body' (if I seem biased, it's because I am)? Who is exploiting who here? Or are 2 (or more) consenting adults entering into an agreed service purchase? Argh, so many questions! What I do know as a responsible feminist is that we don't want the adult sex workers (note distinction from traffiked humans) who live this life, work this work, making any of the decisions over their lives. Squeamish Kate writes...
Annie Get your pen!
Annie Lennox is the latest to leap on to the We Need to Pay More Attention to these Pop Stars (I'm on team Ignore Them and They'll Go Away) bandwagon. After Sinead O' Connor wrote her open letter "in the spirit of motherliness and love" to Miley Cyrus warning her of the music industry's penchant for using nubile women's bodies to sell more stuff. Speaking to BBC Radio 5 Live, Lennox said: "I'm all for freedom of expression, but this is clearly one step beyond, and it's clearly into the realm of porn."
The subject of pop star's skimpy wardrobe seems to be a favourite theme for the singer currently, on her Facebook page Lennox wrote: "I have to say that I'm disturbed and dismayed by the recent spate of overtly sexualised performances and videos. You know the ones I'm talking about. It seems obvious that certain record companies are peddling highly styled pornography with musical accompaniment. As if the tidal wave of sexualised imagery wasn't already bombarding impressionable young girls enough." Squeamish Kate writes... Mind those figures
Do you think the Sun newspaper might have been feeling a little jealous of the Daily Mail recently? After all, the Mail has been extensively written about in the other papers, debated on Question Time, slagged off by Alistair Campbell on Newsnight... It's unlikely that many people are now unaware of the Mail's decision to brand a dead ex-navy officer a Britain-hater with an "evil legacy" Meanwhile, what's the Sun getting? Yes, the No More Page 3 campaign rumbles on, but it's hardly filling the pages or getting the airtime any more. Perhaps that explains yesterday's front page.
The Sun decided to kick off the week that includes World Mental Health Day with an article that stigmatises and stereotypes people with mental health problems. Oh, and totally misrepresents the report the article is supposedly based on. Squeamish Louise writes... It's all in the feminist timing
Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to for work. Whatever your job is, teacher, PR, hitman (hitperson?) you're made to slightly adjust your own personal beliefs and realine them with what's useful for your job. Be it pretend to enjoy inoffensive but dull office banter, up your tea intake, or attend things you're not sure about but you aren't paying so it's not like the time you had the school chore of buying the Daily Mail every day for the school library because your BFF's mum was the school librarian and for some reason a subscription could not be arranged in Brussels where we attended school. Probably something to do with the EU and straight bananas. Also that situation might be a little...specific to me but you get the terms we are working on here. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Rebrand
What's in a name? Or a concept, logo or philosophy. And how can you get people to see things the way you want them to? Obviously, you need to ask the advertising industry. Which is exactly what Elle Magazine has done. Having noticed that not everyone likes 'feminism' they have launched a competition to rebrand it matching up ' prominent feminists' with ad agencies.
Interestingly they don't seem to be taking any of the criticisms we hear most often about feminism into consideration - it seems unlikely any of the new concepts will take us away from a white, middle class feminism that often fails to address or even excludes trans women, sex workers, women of colour and those with disabilities. Or maybe we're just hopelessly cynical. Maybe we should embrace the power of advertising and rebranding. So here are 5 things the squeamish team would like to rebrand... After Life: Revived & Reviewed
Short listed for Museum of the Year 2013 Horniman Museum and Gardens sits pretty on the top of what I can only assume is the hill referred to in the London area of Forest Hill. While birds, bunnies and alpacas roam in the garden outside the beautifully mosaic building, there are plenty more feathered and furred friends housed inside. The time warp curiosity that is the Natural History Gallery dares you to stare into the glass eyes of still and silent creatures, the biggest being in the collection is the famous overstuffed walrus. Somehow these dead animals are more intriguing than the very cute and alive pygmy goats on the hillside animal walk. Squeamish Nicola writes...
What We Need project
We (that's not the royal we, that is Squeamish Nicola and I) just got back from the Science Museum, a place that always puts us in a good mood (also of course we did not just get back, I am using the writerly present tense). The only place in South Kensington that puts me in a gooder mood is The Natural History Museum and that is because of the dinosaurs. Take note flagging museums, add a dinosaur exhibit and you will be beating the tourists off with a novelty giant rubber shaped like a dino-bone. We were invited to the What I See Projectlaunch where a film was screened and a panel of What I See Project ambassadors then answered questions. Squeamish Kate writes...
Jonesing for a sequel
I wrote about Bridget Jones a little while ago when her creator Helen Fielding revealed to Jenni Murray that she was reviving Bridget once again. We all wondered how Bridget would be negotiating Twitter and Facebook, whether she'd read 50 Shades of Grey, if she'd have indulged in some botox for her TV career and of course if she had married Mark Darcy. Or lost that stone.
That was until all the media dropped the clanger/spoiler for those waiting to read the whole thing that Darcy was dead and that, at the age of 51, Bridget a widow of 5 years with 2 children called Mabel and Billy. Squeamish Kate writes... Project Bush
Lately everyone who is anyone in the online world of feminism seems to have received this press release from creative agency Mother London announcing that they are launching "Project Bush, a call to action for women to stand up to the pressures of modern society and present their bushes in all their glory. Whether waxed or never tended, young, old, black, brown or white, we want to display London's lady gardens in all their variety, and demonstrate the choice that many young women - particularly - may not realise they have when it comes to waxing." Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Things We Do Not Get
It is a popular assumption that it is a sign of middle age to be flummoxed by something that is apparently taking the world by storm. To wrinkle your nose at something everybody seems to be doing and wonder aloud what possible benefits they could be getting from taking part in this. However team Squeamish beg to differ. Some of us have known each other since our teens and, unless we have always been somewhat old fogyish, we would like to forward the motion that a state of 'do not get' is a regular occurrence no matter what your age. Be it jeggings, twerking or cronuts. We put our trendy heads together and came up with what - in spite of being young and totes with it - we do not get...
No smith is an island
I have a confession. Until very recently I had never listened to Desert Island Discs. Ok, I realise that's not a proper confession along the lines of 'it was me who stole the crown jewels/slept with your ex/taught the gorillas how to swear in sign language' - but when you're as painfully middle class as I am it would be a fair assumption that I tune in regularly (while knitting my own houmous and reading the Guardian, natch darling).
But somehow it had never appealed. From what I’d read about it it just seemed like one of those painfully tedious exercises in political PR, along the lines of those 'books politicians are taking on holiday' lists. It gave me visions of Cameron/ Clegg/ one of the Milibands grabbing the nearest intern and and haranguing them abut what music they could choose in order to seem with it and 'like, part of the Zeitgeist but not too ridiculous, Are the Arctic Monkeys still cool?' Squeamish Louise writes... red ed at night, feminists delight?
Rushing into the centre of Brighton before a date with a roller derby bout, I heard over my iPod the tones of a politician. I heard the peculiar speech pattern and thought: 'Ah, Labour conference. Politician.' I did not think, as I rounded the corner, 'Ed Miliband.' Which was surprising. Because while you might not know his policies, remember quite what facial feature distinguishes him from his brother David you think you do know what this. man. sounds. like. (emulating the old political speech pattern there.) But Ed's nasal tones are not important, unless you too are known for a nasal speaking voice and are interested in what adenoid surgery can do for you. It was Ed Miliband I heard, he was the politician speaking on the streets of Brighton (New Road, if you like that kind of detail) answering questions from anyone, ANYONE even a cyclist, who was a member of the general public. Squeamish Kate writes...
Home is where the art is
Home is where the art is. This weekend saw the city of London open its front door(s) and hopefully a few more minds. There was not one but two major arts and culture events on the go. Open House London and London Design Festival both vied for my attention. One won out, satisfying my ‘nosy neighbour disorder’ as well as my imagination. I found myself at the latter but still at an open house, a South Kensington bedsit. Bare concrete stairs that back on to a pristine white façade lead down into something a little darker and a lot more interesting. Squeamish Nicola writes...
why we need bi visibility day
Today is Bi-visibility day. I actually first wrote, nay googled, bi-invisibility day. Probably because every day is bi-invisibility day. Liv has written about how bisexuality is often overlooked or not taken seriously. Squeamish Louise wrote about her experience at Bi-Con and biphobia. I don't know a single bisexual person who has claimed not to have experienced some form of biphobia, which the day seeks to highlight the extent of. The day is also known as International Celebrate Bisexuality Day - it's just not used...internationally and it has been going since 1999. So, y'know, take your pick, I like the first one. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 4...Misheard Cliches
It happens to us all, in fact, it could happen to anybody! We have all informed someone something is a damp squid. Or if not that we have told people that they should not put us on a pedal stool. Perhaps we have overheard others say pacifically speaking. Or been told something has been preserved for prosperity.
Yes this is the theme of this week. Cast aside any embarrassment and confess. What sayings have we misheard and misused? Selfie respect
Recently Twitter was hashtagging away about telling a girl she's beautiful. Or pretty. Or is passable or whatever. Understandably counter hashtags came up with suggestions instead you tell a girl she's clever or interesting or comfortingly predictable. Both were well meaning. Both unintentionally hit the well-meaning-but-patronising mark. Girls get enough feedback and comments, constructive or not it would probably be more beneficial to suggest a #letagirlbe Twitter trend. The trend (not Twitter based, though live and well on that and other social network sites) for telling girls they are fine as they are and not to physically try hard is well beyond being nipped in the bud. Squeamish Kate writes...
Peace One Day
September 21st is Peace One Day, an international day of ceasefire founded by British director and actor Jeremy Gilley. He conceived the idea in 1998, and the first day was celebrated in 1999, although it was not until 2001 that all the member countries of the United Nations adopted the program. In 2006, the first life-saving activities began to flourish as a way of observing the day.
The World Food Programme dropped food aid in Southern Sudan, and the International Rescue Committee repatriated a child soldier with her family. Initiatives have flourished since then, as Peace One Day has partnered with a number of UN agencies, governments, and non-governmental organisations. Many children have received immunization against polio and other serious illnesses. Anonymous writes... Watch the girls go by, ha
I want to see people on screen I can relate to, they don't have to be female but it helps. I believe it's rare to find well written female characters so when I watch a film with a woman in it that enthrals me I have a tendency to watch it again and again. Ripley in Alienwas written for a male actor and I think its lack of cliché 'girl talk' makes Ripley one of the most believable female characters in film. Ok, so I don’t relate to killing aliens but you get the idea. It feels like a lot of female characters are fulfilling gender stereotypes so it's hard to see a person on screen through all the nonsense. Cameron Diaz in The Mask is very different from Cameron Diaz in The Last Supper. Watch them and you'll see. I'm not following the Bechdel test for my film enjoyment; I'm just looking forward to films that aren't Transformers. Squeamish Nicola writes...
going on the pull
My relationship with my hair has shaped my life.
I'm guessing that's not a particularly unusual statement. But I don't mean because I was the only redhead in my family and at my school. Or because of the styles I've chosen. I mean because I started pulling it out when I was a kid, and almost 20 years later it's a habit that still engulfs me. I can't remember the first time I pulled out my hair. Or any of the early times really. I remember reading, and looking down and the pages of the book being covered with strands. I remember my mum brushing out my long hair and noticing the parting was wider. I vaguely remember how hotly embarrassed I was at the doctors, listening to my mum tell the GP I was pulling my own hair out. But not how it all began. Squeamish Louise writes... Friday 5...Things you don't see any more
Perhaps it will hit you while watching an old film from your teens. Or on the bus to work. Or listening to an old song. Maybe searching for an old song you know you had on tape and if you could just hear it you could remember the name of the singer and song and download it on iTunes dammit! Mayhap a young person will stop you on the street and ask what that piss box is on the street. As you explain the days of landlines and public 'teleophone boxes' you realise - huh, you don't see those any more... We have taken a trip down memory lane and come up with things you just don't see any more...
Glossing Over
Quick! What does an ideal woman look like? I don't have time for your protestations about 'ideal' meaning different things to different people, or being a ridiculous notion to start with. There is an ideal out there and we're all failing to live up to it. Maybe it's the colour of your skin, your height, your bra size or the ink you paid for - there's definitely something getting in the way of you being truly beautiful, of obtaining perfection.
Isn't this the message most of us (increasingly men as well as women) have bludgeoned into us from an early age? Squeamish Louise writes... mosh through this
Last weekend I did something I have not done in a while. I moshed. I went to see some grungy live bands with a load of people who wanted to party like it was 1992. Dancing at the back was fine, then the band launched into a cover of Lithium and I was carried to the front.
Partly by the crowd all leaping forward in competitive recognition of the song, partly by my own pushing. When you're in a mosh pit you can't go back. Forward not back. I got sweat soaked, greasy boy hair in my mouth, I got a beer poured over me, I got shoved, I got kicked. I Shoved, I kicked, I flicked my sweat soaked, greasy girl hair about. I yelled, I sang, I loved it. Squeamish Kate writes... Single Parent Management
The phrase 'single parent' conjures up many thoughts, hardly any of them positive. Google it and you'll see 'benefits', 'help and support', 'childcare issues', 'scraping by' - and the rest. But I'm here to tell you that it’s not all bad. And sometimes - most of the time - it's actually quite good.
I became a single parent a year ago, of my own volition. Now, I admit, the fact that it was my choice to end my marriage has coloured my future life with my children. I was unhappy in my marriage to the point where I was clinically depressed and spiralling into a deepening hole, and I knew that I had to leave my partner in order to save my sanity. Soon afterwards, I was alone with my kids. And the relief was immense. Ava Piaf writes... Educating Sue: Night of the Geriatric Thong
Summer is nearly over now for Sue, did she spend it student style? Half cut with her thong on show? Sort of...
I took my mum to Bournemouth for a few days; Spain is far too hot for her at this time of year. I booked our rooms via laterooms.com, and when we arrived I feared they had mistaken my booking for a stint in an old people's home. I was the youngest guest there! Reception was only manned until 7pm, thereafter any requirements had to be directed via the night porter. Breakfast stopped being served at 9am, and dinner was from 6 - 8.30pm sharp. Squeamish Sue writes... Friday 5...Autumnal Delights
The trains are suddenly full again. There are loads more cars on the roads. Facebook is full of photographs of people's children in new school uniforms, and twitter seems to be obsessed with the fog and 'autumnal' weather, even though it's currently 25 degrees and autumn doesn't technically start for another 15 days. Must be September.
People seem to be getting a downer about the upcoming change of season. The BBC seem to be on a mission to make their commutes easier by making everyone else too depressed to leave the house (although some of us reckon the most depressing thing about that article is the assumption we've all had 2 weeks away on a sunny beach.) Even Greenday don't like September. Sniff. So we decided to ignore all the back to school blues and look at the upsides of Autumn... The Feman behind the curtain
Can you be a male and a feminist, or a male feminist, or a pro-feminist male? I think so. Can you be a man and start a feminist society. I suppose so. I mean... there's no law against it. It's probably not the optimum feminist environment for a group or men (group? Gang? Pod? Fistful? What's the collective term for men?) to be the founding members of a feminist society. It rather smacks of what some might call a manarchist movement.
Some feminist societies have certainly noticed men coming in trying to be supportive, but forgetting that space is required over suggestions or statements. Kelley Temple put it well saying: "Men who want to be feminists do not need to be given a space in feminism. They need to take the space they have in society and make it feminist." Squeamish Kate writes... A Bindel of Questions
Let's say you're a professional writer - a columnist with inches of ink to your name and maybe even a couple of books - and you want to write a book looking at something you have identified as a particular problem within your society. How might you go about that? Talking to the people who it affects seems like a good start, right? See what their conceptions are; gather their thoughts and experiences; then examine people's realities and devote some thought to where the worst problems lie and how you might go about tackling them (or suggestions for how others could do the same). Liv writes...
we need to talk about mumsnet
I have a confession to make. I was a Mumsnet sceptic. I'm not a mum and often I feel as though I am not thought of by the general public as a woman because of this, just a non-mum. The media portrayal of the site as amusingly powerful and the Gordon Brown biscuitgate saga made me think it was a peculiar site. I thought the unspoken slogan for the site was 'speaking as a mother...' But this is not Mumsnet's fault, just the media and irksome government rhetoric for hardworking people like you and me. Innit. Squeamish Kate writes...
Band of Singletons
I am not surprised that it's been suggested single people wear a wristband. I am surprised it has taken so long. I suppose people figured we'd identify each other by the wild, searching look in our eyes.
Of course the slant on this press release has been negative. Because in spite of mysingleworld.com insisting that "identifiable singles are more attractive" your first thought is 'no self respecting single person is going to want to advertise the fact they are single' (only in typing that sentence out did I realise the nonsensicalness of that) and the, not whiff, but jangling of desperation via accessories is not attractive. I'm not much of a wristband person anyway. Squeamish Kate writes... friday 5...shed your child star image
So this week we met Miley Cyrus's grown-up adult tongue. The former Disney star who captured our hearts (and had us all fooled - as I understand the format of the show to be?) as Hannah Montana knew it would take more than a pixie crop to show us she was 20 now. And so she trod that path many a Disney star has trodden in a bid to shed her Micky Mouse ears and did stuff on the VMA stage that Daisy Duck only does in private. The Mouseketeers started it, but we can't all snog Madonna on stage (stars, they're just like us!) to show we're grown-ups now. So, in sympathy with Miley et al's struggle we have come up with some ideas on how to shed your child star image...
Netting a good tail
Mermaids have a long history and are guaranteed to set imaginations flowing, even if their most famous recent portrayals have been via Disney and Starbucks. So we were excited, back in May, to hear about the Poems Underwater project.
A collaboration set up by Kirsten Tambling and Laura Seymour, the project, Kirsten told us, aimed to: "start some conversations about the mermaid figure and some of the things they might represent...one of the things we've noticed is that their symbolic significance is pretty much limitless." We are pleased to say they have now certainly achieved that with Lines Underwater. Grown out of the initial collection of poetry is an anthology featuring contributions from over 40 people, which you can buy on their website. Squeamish Louise writes... Ironing Out UKIP's Sexism
Former Tory Janice Atkinson is one of the former party members who have defected to UKIP due to clashing with Cameron on Europe. Recently, in light of other UKIP members making comments that some might view as...problematic Atkinson has spoken out in the Times about why, apart from European matters, she joined UKIP.
Writing in the Yorkshire Post on why she defected from the Tories in 2011, missing their Manchester conference Atikinson noted: "I won't get to attend many of the fringe events that represent the real Conservative Party and I will miss having a drink with my friends but apart from that, no. It was much more fun in Eastbourne with Nigel Farage and co." Squeamish Kate writes... Kick-Ass 2 Kicks ass again
This review contains spoilers, for both Kick-Ass and Kick-Ass 2, so here's the spoiler-free summary: it's a hell of a ride. If you go into the cinema knowing no more about this film than what's in the trailer, it's likely you're going to spend the next 2 hours laughing, gasping and cheering and come out with a grin on your face. I certainly did - having seen it with a group of friends, the first words out of my mouth when we left the cinema were, "how awesome was that?!" The problems come if you start to think about it too much (or as some would argue, at all). Squeamish Louise writes...
Miley Appropriate
It's been a while since I watched MTV. For one thing I don't have it and for another I am that person in your office who pauses before saying smugly "oh, I don't have a TV" (before you put together some kind of Just Giving account for me I do now, for the first time mind, have a TV). I haven't been interested in the VMAs since the days of the Britney snake routine.
This year is different. Because *N Sync reunited, right? Nope. It seems the VMAs were not viewed as a night of harmless pop music self congratulation. Nor was it the plunging necklines, cosmetic surgeries (did they or didn't they? We must know!) or nip slips. It was Miley Cyrus's twerk-ridden performance and cultural appropriation that has got many people going. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...teen crushes
Last week a documentary aired called Mad About One Direction. It featured some of the lengths teenage fans go to today to meet their idols. Waiting for hours outside hotels and venues, recording Nando's intake and monitoring the band's Twitter activity take up much of a hardcore fan's day. One Directioner announced she would chop off her arm should the band instruct her to do so. While we wouldn't threaten the selection below with self-mutilation we were young once and might still hang around on a drizzly day outside their hotel. Here are our teenage crushes...
Section Vocabulary
I think most people have some incident in their lives they think about with a sense of regret or guilt. I have moments where I realise in retrospect I missed an opportunity. But my moment that brings guilt - a feeling I don't usually experience - happened in year 10 at my Roman Catholic secondary school. I remember it like it was yesterday. Our head of year came into our classroom to speak to us about how totes approachable the staff were (we might have been having some special PSHE class approaching) about anything. ANYTHING. If we had any worries or troubles we were to speak to them.
Sounds good right? No matter how liberal your parents or guardians might
be there are some things you just can't tell the person who used to
change your nappies and read you bed time stories during your days of
clear skin and comfort in your body. A teacher you respect is a good
candidate for a confidant. Squeamish Kate writes...
one Dimension Teenage Girls
Teenage girls are always the subject du jour. Sometimes they are newsworthy because they are the spawn of a celebrity and are looking all grown up as they display their endless legs in designer wear. They are featured unimpressively passing exams that are getting easier and easier so those A*s count for nothing. Other times they are concentrating a huge amount of ingenuity into their fandom. We stand back as they negotiate the bizarre and new world of online social media that is apparently fast becoming a life or death situation and wonder if we shouldn't put in some more guidelines on sites. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Womanism in M&S
Ah, Marks & Spencer. Marks & Sparks. Markie Parkie's (I've heard that used once. When I was 7). M&S. It's been in the midst of an image change for some time. It is no longer the go to place for bras, Primark and Bravissimo providing that support to many now. There are a few rival places for Simply Food, when you're looking to pass slightly pappy microwaved food off as your own or have a classy picnic. Few women will do a twirl and announce "M&S!" when complimented on their outfit. They might feign wide-eyed surprise and say "M&S!" in a disbelieving tone. But in my friendship group M&S is usually only the answer to questions regarding bum-lifting tights ("your bum's looking very pert today" "M&S!") and Bureau de Change ("your exchange rate's very good" "M&S!"). Squeamish Kate writes...
The Areola of the Matter
I thought perhaps today we could talk about nipples. It's a nice way to start the week, right? Nipples. Everybody is (usually) born with them. They are a both fun and oddly embarrassing word to say. When people pierce them I get all squeamish because I worry for you and the integrity of your nipples. What if you catch the piercing on a zip and rip your nip? Brr.
But I don't want to talk about my concern for nipples with man made holes in them. I just spent a weekend in a field for a festival. Over the weekend occasionally the sun came out and when it did men of all ages would whip off their shirts and parade around topless. This is fine. I mean it's not fine with me, in my mind only a certain type of man pounds the streets or fields sans shirt. But socially it is fine. Toned belly, fat belly, pecs so muscular they can be made to dance at will, moobs. The sun makes it OK to let it all hang out. Man nipples ahoy. Squeamish Kate writes... FridAY 5...cELEBRITY cAREERS
Our favourite F1 journalist F1Kate sent us an e-mail this week informing us that we would never guess what Pamela Anderson's new job was. We did not guess. We were disappointed she wasn't going to have another go at reviving hit (not hit) show Stacked in which she plays a librarian (get it?). Maybe she has a passion for the Dewey Decimal System and is actually becoming a librarian, it is most of the Squeamish team's dream job after all, why can't it be Pammy's? But actually the former Baywatch star is now the team principal of a new team that will contest the remainder of the FIA GT Series with Vitantonio Liuzzi among its drivers. With this title comes a lot of responsibility but we bet she will excel and be marvellous at it. Then we turned careers counsellor and started thinking about career moves we might recommend to some other celebrities out there...
Being judged by the contents of your jar
Do you wear a bra? Are you wearing right now? Is it kind of cutting in at the back? Or did you notice too late that your comfy bra gives you a mega case of quadraboob? Whether you like them hoiked high or dragged a little low (everybody has a preference, I go for the former my best friend goes for the latter and sometimes we home-truth each other about it: "they're by your EARS") it's likely that your bra fitted you the first week you bought it (and, let's be honest here, wore it. Day in, day out) and since then it's been a downward (possibly literally) progression to that awful moment when you realise you have to go bra shopping again. Squeamish Kate writes...
Peas in Polyamory
What do Brits think about infidelity? I'm going to take a punt they don't like it very much. I asked both of my boyfriends what they think of cheating, and they weren't in favour either. Looks like we're in tune with the rest of the nation, according to research reported in the Independent
If you're thinking "wait, both boyfriends?! good thing they don't know about each other", then you'd be wrong. Because they do. And none of us like cheating. Because there are relationship models other than monogamy, or monogamy + cheating. Liv writes... school girl matters
I like to try and spread out subjects on Squeamish Bikini. I like to try to address current affairs once and then maybe comment on any developments. But this subject, this current affair? This pisses me off. This is something that there is so much misunderstanding about and until there is understanding it will continue to happen over and over again. It is happening over and over again, right now. And whether or not we care seems to hinge far too much on the victim's cup size. Last week Squeamish Louise discussed the case of Neil Wilson and the issues of class in sexism, rape and paedophilia. Because let's be clear, whether or not she was predatory as the is besides the point she was 13 and therefore a minor. I think some great points, some very true points were made. But I'd like to also focus on the responsibility of the man, of men here. Squeamish Kate writes...
Living on the Razor's Edge
Last August I took part in the great PCOS fundraiser Armpits4August to raise money for Verity. A charitable continuity of the hair inspired fundraiser Movember, in which men impress their friends and family with their ability (or lack of) to grow a moustache in order to raise money for research into prostate cancer. When I embarked on Armpits4August I didn't know it would be such a life changer. Because I didn't know I felt the way I did about body hair. Squeamish Kate writes...
friday 5...I vont to be alone
We are a team at Squeamish Bikini, but we all enjoy Alone Time. No, that's not a euphemism - though we'd never judge what you get up to in your alone time, provided it is legal and harmless (stay safe out there guys [we just have to cover our bases at times]). Sometimes we just don't want to see any of your pretty faces. This Buzzfeed link explaining some of the issues introverts happen across regularly had us nodding at the glowing screen in our individual darkened rooms. We decided to confess what we love about saying to the world I vont to be alone. See if you can spot the running theme...
To Catch a predator
I wasn't sure how to introduce this post. Because by now the coverage of the case of Neil Wilson, given a lenient sentence for sexually abusing a minor because the judge accepted the prosecution's portrayal of her as 'predatory' seems to have almost ubiquitous coverage.
I've watched it grow - from a tweet on my time line from a court reporting account; through discussions about whether it could possibly be an accurate depiction of what was said in court; and counsel about confusing 'summing up the prosecution' with 'the views of the judge' to full-blown coverage on the evening news (where, incidentally, fuller transcript releases showed both to be horrendous). Squeamish Louise writes... PG Feminism
Yesterday Ally Fogg wrote about male feminism, in response to Hugo Schwyzer's decision to stop writing about feminist issues due to sad personal troubles, a problematic domestic history and a penchant for writing about his then partner's tampon trouble - although admittedly that it XOJane.com's house style and as an XO writer, boy howdy do I know it. Boy. Howdy.
Fogg used Schwyzer's troubles and the hostile reactions he has received writing as a feminist to broach the subject of why he does not personally identify as feminist: "I'm often called a feminist by others, in roughly equal measures as a compliment and an insult, and I am happy to take it in the intended spirit either way, but it is not how I define myself. The very notion of male feminism has never sat comfortably with me..." Squeamish Kate writes... Breaking the Silence
On Monday we maintained our silence about the Sunday Twitter silence. We did not take part in the Twitter silence and our reasons were best summed up by Bonnie Greer's tweet regarding the importance of never being silent: "Occupy this space. For those who can't. For yourself. Speak truth to Power wherever you find it. Be raucous. Enjoy. #nosilence #Voltaire."
Silence is a rubbish weapon. In real life the silent treatment usually causes you to end up in the wrong because eurgh, it's just annoying. But also it implies your argument might not be very good. Online it smacks of what is called 'flouncing'. The notion of a dignified silence is, on the whole, bollocks. Squeamish Kate writes... Late to the Zoo party
I think I am not alone when I say that: When I think of the zoo I think of the buttock-clenchingly embarrassing time my sister and I bought my dad CDs for his birthday. We scoured HMV for Harvey Andrews, Led Zeppelin (who's he?) and Tom Paxton. That birthday was a day of discovery. Led Zepp was a band, my dad had super eclectic taste in music and an adult had recorded, on an adult album, the song Going to the Zoo.
Last Friday I was going to the zoo (zoo, zoo) for the last Zoo Lates on this year at London Zoo. Oh I had read so much about this event 'you will be greeted by an anteater!' I was told (by the press, who I planned to hold responsible for my actions if I was not greeted by an anteater), 'You can watch them feed the pygmy hippos - and the hippos demand the food is put directly in their mouth!' I was told by Squeamish Louise, who seems to have had more influence than I'd like on my after school activities as it were. 'I didn't see the lions last time' said my friend Eileen. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 4...Personal walrus
Is it silly season yet? It feels like we must be getting there. But slowly. A drip-drip of silliness, forecast to turn into a tidal wave as we reach the middle of the month and everyone decides that ice-cream is much more interesting than research. One of the first drips of silliness has fallen from Brighton, landing in Hollywood. Oh Brighton, we knew we could rely on you. It all started last month, when a Brightonian with a surplus of space but a lack of meaningful companionship in his life sought to remedy this using that good old fashioned technique known as Gumtree.The advert soon went viral. Of course it did. The premise was simple - you can live with me for free. As long as you dress up like a walrus for a couple of hours a day, make walrus noises and eat fish. Then this week, came news that this charming story is being made into a movie by Kevin Smith. It got us thinking. About a lot of things, but here's one - What bizarre thing would you get someone to do in order to live with you rent-free if you had the means? Or to put it another way - what's your personal walrus?
Going with the flo
It's often something that comes up in discussions of who has it better socially, men or women (the answer is the rich, by the way). You women have an hour dedicated to you every freakin' week day on BBC Radio 4! Oh well, stop the feminist bus I want to get off - we've reached the equality stop, we've got an hour on the radio every week day.
The thing that can usually stop this debate dead in its tracks - particularly if it's a casual pub debate, I've not seen this tried in more formal settings - is the noble period. Not the pay gap, not the shocking domestic violence figures, not rape statistics or #everydaysexism. No, menstruation and possibly VAT on 'personal hygiene'. Squeamish Kate writes... Squeamish How-to...Temp
It has been a while since we had a How-to on Squeamish Bikini and, living nearby two universities, we note that students who have graduated or are on their summer break will probably be looking for something to put a dent in their ever increasing debt.
A summer job that you can do hungover (sorry, I am obliged to stereotype you student body - by all means bring me in for a stern word with your student rep) means waiting is out. Handling food, carrying trays of drinks, writing stuff down on a tiny notepad? No, that's not doable on any of the usual hangover symptoms of sickness, shakiness and headaches. Squeamish Kate writes... Rosie Wilby: Is Monogamy Dead?
Last August Squeamish Louise was looking for an Edinburgh Festival style comedy action in London as an escape from the Olympics. She found it with Rosie Wilby and the show How (Not) to Make it in Britpop. I like to think the show contributed to the explosion in 1990s revival fashion - it was a real slow burner to begin with to convince people to wear backwards baseball caps and tiny round sunglasses but it’s finally happened.
It certainly inspired Squeamish Louise to dig out some old Britpop albums and gear (of the fashion variety), How (Not) to Make it in Britpop made her: "pine for 90s fashions of jeans, t-shirts, feather boas and stripey shirts. Damn." I, however, never got to see the show in spite of the sage and specific advice from Squeamish Louise "Just go and see her. Seriously." Squeamish Kate writes... A Night in Cin City
I know the sun is shining and the beer garden is calling you but even you must admit a little air-conditioned entertainment wouldn't go amiss. As much as Netflix and LOVEFiLM have to offer you, this new movie-viewing fad doesn't have the style of a classic cinema experience. The anticipation, the syrupy coke and possibly day-old popcorn and that feeling as the lights go down and the screen widens.
Have you seen Cinema Paradiso? It's an unassuming love letter to the cinema. I believe everyone should have a cinema like that. Somewhere that transports them to a different world or at least puts a smile on their face on a grey day. Squeamish Nicola writes... Friday 5...News
This week we have had press releases about a triatholon - namely post triathlon beauty products, fake tan, baby products and part time jobs overtaking full time jobs. But we have not received anything that constitutes news. Which is fine because we don't tend to rely on PR companies for news items.
We look to you, internet, newspapers, radio and TV. However the only thing we were up to date on was the state of the royal uterus. We still don't know if the midwives had a dare about saying 'the baby's head is crowning' but we know pretty much everything else. In case you have other interests we did a round up of some other things that happened this week... Heroes & villains: diabetes & Music
I was not the only one hypoing at Glastonbury this year, Este from the band Haim, who also has Type One, rocked the Pyramid stage mid-Hypo.
I saw them at the Park the next day where they proverbially smashed it. Every now and then Este casually used what appeared to be a glucose spray. I stood in that crowd wondering how many other people were as excited as me to see someone perform so brilliantly, whilst also dealing with all the usual highs and lows of Diabetes. 4and8 writes... Every Day Manners
It's that time again! Confessional Wednesday! Actually there is no such thing, I am currently trying to establish a 'Where are they now? Wednesday' as part of my desire to establish a salon, but there's no Confessional Wednesday. Until now.
Here's the thing... you guys the #EverydaySexism hashtag makes me feel bad. About myself. Page 3? Nah, doesn't apply because I never wanted to be a Page 3 model (unlike some girls in my secondary school yearbook, at the time I thought it was a joke but now I think it was sincere). Fashion? I love it and it never occurred to me I would or should look like a model. Lads mags? Nope, their content and attitude maybe makes me feel sad but not about myself. Squeamish Kate writes... A Royal Baby Balls Up
Let's talk about girls and boys. We were doing so yesterday. Or rather a girl or a boy. We were very concerned. Or very concerned to voice our unconcern. Me? I wasn't bothered either way but if pressed I was gunning for a boy, because then there was a possibility it could be called Baby David. Like David Royale. But also gunning for a girl because I had been asked to write a piece about the first English royal girl who won't be overtaken in line for the throne by any baby brother.
Unless there is a massive, massive overturning of our affairs. Of course this is missing out the important things. One, and probably the most important of all, is Kate Middleton's new project. Losing the baby weight. I don't know how she's going to do it but I expect, like all new mothers, it's top of her list. Squeamish Kate writes... Why the Thigh's the limit
This actually was news in March, possibly even before that, like November last year, but it seems either there's been a new press release or silly season has us all obsessed with thigh exposure. It's the kind of news the papers never tire of really - it's probably good for search term hits. In Japan, Tokyo's young women are now running around the city that never fails to inspire Gwen Stefani with adverts on their thighs.
This is a hot news story because it is currently hot. It takes approximately 2 weeks of heatwave before the average woman will shed her tights (this is a lie I made up) and admit that actually she 'does feel a bit hot, yeah...' Those temperature control tights from Marks don't work and even if they did it's not like they have an announcement on them saying they are keeping you cool in the heat/warm in the cool. Everyone just thinks you are wearing opaques in 30 degree heat. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Tricks everyone should know
Said it before, say it again, we at Squeamish Bikini just want to help you. We want you to think of us as your (purely textual) friend. The wise one, who sagely nods when you do the right thing; a feminist Jiminy Cricket, if you will. Whenever you have a conundrum we want to be the definitive resource you turn to and then ignore. Which is why we have come up with some tricks we think everyone should know and join us in swearing by. If you have any tricks of your own you think everyone should know do share in the comments.
Glastonbury: The Highs & The Lows
I spent much of the run up to my first Glastonbury hypoing. For the past few months I dreamt that the festival could be a celebratory end to finishing my final chapter of my PhD. Instead the unconscious stress that coursed through my veins forced my levels down so often and so unexpectedly (despite temporary basal rates) that concentration and words slipped passed me - again.
The night before Glastonbury I had failed to achieve my dream. I sat on my bed in tears. The next day and for the rest of the festival I would continue to hypo on a daily basis. This could have made for an awful festival experience, but it didn't. This is partly because Glastonbury is unlike any festival I've been to and Glastonbury 2013 had some especially awesome things about it that hopefully won't be so unique in years to come. So here's a few reasons why the festival is worth investigating and then investing in. 4and8writes... Squeamish Travel Tips
I spend a lot of my life in planes and airports. A lot of my life. And in the course of collecting air mile after air mile* I have picked up a few tips that make life easier. They're not all budget tips, mind...
1. Charge your phone on the way to the loo Some airports have charging stations in public areas, and those airports are buildings of wondrous joy. Most airports don't care whether or not you need to charge devices mid-journey, unless you're one of the lucky ones with lounge access, in which case life is wonderful wherever you are. When you're desperate for a quick charge, you're more likely to find unguarded plug sockets in those long halls on the way to the loo than you are anywhere else. Just travel with a universal plug adaptor in your hand luggage and you'll be fine. Or fly Emirates, which has USB connections in every seat, enabling you to charge your phone as you fly. I love Emirates. F1 Kate writes... Parents, Let Your Daughters be Engineers
You're a good feminist, right? You give your children gender-neutral choices in the toy shop, you read them bedtime stories with excellent role models of the male and female persuasion, and you encourage sons and daughters alike to pursue their interests without pushing them into hobbies society deems appropriate depending on their chromosomal configuration. I'm sure you do.
And you might have a girly-girl for a daughter, and an uhr-boy for a son. And that's fine, if that's what they want to be. We're all about acceptance around these parts. F1 Kate writes... Political Sex Knowledge
Do women know less about politics than men?
That's a ridiculous question, right? Just think about the people you know. Does it really seem like one sex know way more about politics than the other? (Important side note: if you are only friends with one sex, I don't want to tell you you're doing it wrong. But you might well be.) But of course, that's just anecdata. Whereas the statement 'women know less about politics than men' is based on research. Specifically, research funded by the Economic and Social Research Council. The study took place in ten countries: Australia, Canada, Greece, India, Italy, Japan, South Korea, Norway, the UK and the United States. Squeamish Louise writes... Friday 5...Death Becomes Us
Wales has become the first country in the UK to change from an opt-in to an opt-out organ donation scheme. This means presumed consent - you can say that you don't want your organs to be donated, but if you don't state this wish properly, then they will be donated.
It's a system that's worked well elsewhere, and experts hope it will increase the number of organs available to those who need them. But it got us wondering about what we'd like to happen to our mortal remains after we pop our clogs. Death might be a subject we often shy away from, but people have come up with some interesting ideas in the past. Sadly the story about Walt Disney being frozen and part of one of the Disney World rides is apocryphal but it doesn't end there. Whether it's Jeremy Bentham, dissected in public and then preserved at University College London to stare at the students every morning. Or the people who get immortalised as part of the Body Worlds exhibition there are lots of different ways to go, and lots of different ways to proceed after that... Festival Fashion: Music & Diabetes Part 2
Before going to Glastonbury I spent probably a total of two evenings preparing outfits and make-up. I rummaged through my parents wardrobe for the perfect hat and long socks that said,
"yeah I just nonchalantly came across this vintage Panama...oh and these over the knee socks? Yeah they're just practical, they have nothing to do with giving me an air of Alexa Chung gauntness." 4and8 writes... Your Squeamish Guide to Edinburgh
I'm hardly an expert on Edinburgh, but I do like me some Fringe. My first time up at the festival was in 1998, when I was sixteen and spending my first unsupervised month away from home. I had three jobs, was working about 20 hours a day, got hooked on ProPlus, and had a whale of a time.
Since then, I've only been back as a tourist. But I've still got a few handy hints for those of you who might be making their first trip to Auld Reekie this year. F1Kate writes... Nick Miller Time
Who's that guy? It's Nick!
Move over Jess. That guy in the stolen woman's A-line trench is mine! There's nothing like a little self-loathing eye candy to keep you watching sucrose soaked US sitcom. New Girl may have come on leaps and bounds since the pilot episode but Jess's flatmate Nick was the reason I kept on watching. His scruffy, self-deprecating ways and inability to care for tomatoes translated to loveable charm. School teacher Ms. Jessica Day saw it too and before long irritation gave way to goofing about, being shoulders to cry on during break ups and then becoming worryingly co-dependent (Jess stop being his 'cooler!'). My heart began to flutter as I and Jess unwittingly fell for the 'hot to trot' Nick Miller. The episode with that kiss aired last week and everything changed. I am now obsessed with the man. Squeamish Nicola writes... Posing Patriarchy
I hate the way I look in pictures. I tell people I'm too animated to be photogenic, that a freeze frame of my existence is always going to be unflattering because it fails to capture the essence of me, but the simple truth is I don't look great in photos. I lack the bone structure.
There are exceptions to prove the rule, naturally. In my late teens and early twenties, my best friend owned a magic digital camera that was ONLY capable of making me look magnificent. Post-hangover, mid-sweaty night out, it mattered not - any photo of me taken with that particular camera was fantastic. I should have stolen it. And now that I work in a field heaving with professional photographers, I've learned that the pros can also make me look half-way decent. But years of looking awful in pictures have turned me into a Person Who Poses. If I'm not going to look attractive in a photo, I may as well get in on the joke early by hamming it up and looking as silly as possible, right? F1Kate Friday 5...Glastonbury Headliners
Was anyone else slightly surprised, musically jostled even, by the news Mumford and Sons were a headline act at Glastonbury? Rolling Stones? Yes, huge following, massive back-catalogue, makes sense. Mumford and Sons? As one of the Squeamish team who shall remain nameless in fear of a Mumford and Sons fan backlash said: "Mumford and Sons aren't a headline act, they are a 'sitting around in the morning deciding who you are going to see later' act." As Squeamish Louise (who may or may not have made that Mumford and Sons comment - you will never know and I'll never tell) noted in her Glastonbury article regarding Anya Pearson's women only festival posters: "The results? A lot of blank space. Those sausages take up a lot of room usually it seems. Without them, the few acts progressive enough to realise that ladies can do more than ting a triangle or shimmy their hips struggle to take up enough space to look like more than a printing error." We have come up with some women fronted acts that we would like to see headlining Glastonbury...
If I ever feel better: Music & Diabetes
I have an ambivalent relationship with summer. I was never a great fan of it before my diagnosis at fifteen, my legs chaffed on the hot walk home from school to the rhythm of my homemade mix tapes, my puckered pale skin burned into red raw silk and hot days were veiled in gritty dust. Since my diagnosis summer now also brings unexpected hypos, as the heat spins my metabolism into overdrive, and sometimes unexpected sugar highs, as the sun silently breaks down my little vials of insulin into a pointless smelling liquid. 4and8 writes...
For better or for tax breaks
I'm married. I'm very happy with this arrangement. But sometimes things crop up, things out of your control, that make you question the nature of your relationship. That make you think, are we doing the right thing? Would it be better, perhaps to get divorced?
I refer, of course, to the Tories' proposed tax break for married couples and civil partners. The government mooted this when they first came into power, and at that time I signed a pledge to donate any money we got as a result of the tax break to charities that support LGBT people or single-parent families. Squeamish Louise writes... Who's Trolling Who?
Usually I write about what I want. A while ago I wrote about UniLads and was informed that giving them the oxygen of publicity wasn't going to help shut them down. Of course the oxygen of publicity probably did up UniLad's site stats, but it also drew sponsor's attention to the content of the site and a complete overhaul was required. A half-assed warning on the site regarding content that the easily offended might hackle at is not a triumph for those who rallied against the UniLad content. But it is a reaction. Had everyone kept schtum their lips pursed as a prudish hen's arse, the blog would still be going, with no indication that it was unacceptable. Squeamish Kate writes...
Misogyny! The Musical
I have a confession to make. When I started at secondary school after an incident with the clique I was in I became 'indie'. The only people who would speak to me were some boys in the year above on my bus. They made me rock mix tapes, for which I would feign appreciation, then go home and listen to Now! CDs. Loudly. If you asked me who I liked I'd list the bands on the tapes, omitting a list of hip hop and pop. My tastes did lean towards the scruffier ends of the charts and when I discovered riot grrrl, punk and The Smiths (what? It's a natural trifecta) I stopped wondering what the hitmakers that be called music, now. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Chat up lines
We like to think of ourselves as a lifestyle site. A feminist lifestyle one. Which means occasionally we should probably show you how to do stuff. That helps you with your life. Style. And a lifestyle usually involves sharing it with other people. But how to get other people involved in your life? And when we say other people, we mean other people to do the crossword with in bed, a steaming cafetiere on the reclaimed wood bedside table. Perhaps later you will decoupage this piece of furniture with Penguin Classics covers... A lifestyle is usually better when shared. Decoupaging, for instance, is not to be taken on alone. We have put our heads together and come up with our best chat up lines for you to hit the Guardian Weekend recommended bars with...
Glastonbury sausage fest
So the gates have opened and people are pouring in. Crates of beer loaded onto trollies; wellies already starting to rub. Yup, Glastonbury is open for business and the papers' picture desks are out in force to capture those defining, never-to-be-repeated moments: posh girls pouting in sunnies; hippie girls wearing bandanas and body paint; girls who have been picked up by the wellington boot and dipped in mud; pretty girls perched on someone's shoulders, pointing at the band and mouthing the lyrics. Squeamish Louise
Girls only guidance
There's an Eddie Izzard joke about the C of E's famous/infamous wetness. The image of a rather dreary organisation in which no-one quite knows what they are doing, they just know it is the thing they are supposed to be doing, whether or not they have muscles in their arms. It's just what they do every Sunday morning and, come Tuesday evening or whatever, their daughters go to Brownies. Just as they went to Brownies and their mothers went to Brownies.
This is how I felt about Brownies. Actually with swimming, piano and ballet classes after school I was always glad I didn't have to go to Brownies. Until I turned 7 and discovered I'd been enrolled in 1st Studley Brownies. Squeamish Kate writes... the gift of the game
Writing about pick up artists Ally Fogg noted that the art of pick uptry might have its roots in a fondness of the children’s cartoon Transformers. Perhaps the Atari or Nintendo are to blame for the popular notion among a number of men that there is some form of code to women.
"I blame Transformers. Many of my fellow heterosexual men appear to approach potential romantic partners as if they were those complicated robotic toys with a special hidden feature. All you need to do is turn her head just enough, raise her eyebrows, utter the secret password and woop woop woop: a siren sounds, her nipples start flashing and she instantly transforms into your own personal sex machine - Bonktamus Prime." Squeamish Kate writes... Whores with Cause
It's one of the oldest professions in the world and somehow, we never got round to properly regulating it. Some people enter it because they need the money, some are forced into it and some simply can't imagine doing another job that they'd love so much. The sex industry. All these reasons make people who don't ever engage (or not publicly) in such a world squeamish. They'd rather pretend it doesn't exist than, say, make it a safer environment to operate in.
I want to be clear now, for this piece I am not dealing with the terrible crime of trafficking here. For this I am concerned only with those who have used their own agency to enter into sex work. It seems no matter what leads a person to sex work it's more convenient for us to lump them in the same category. If we don't want to think of them as perverts we sympathetically talk about how 'damaged' they are. Which gives us an excuse to ignore any issues brought up by sex workers. Squeamish Kate writes... friday 5...domesticated
Remember when you used to go round to friend's houses as a kid and their rooms would be in varying states of tidiness? If they were messy, resentment would be experienced at the thought of all the times you tidied your room for their arrival. If their room was incredibly tidy there was a risk of them being brought up at an example you should follow next time your bed wasn't made. Their house might smell funny, or they had coloured loo roll, or plastic lining to save the furniture/carpet which is impossible to appear relaxed sitting or standing on. 'I will never/always do that when I have my own place' you would think. Eventually you became an adult (this is adults only, get out of here children reading this!) and have your own abode to clean or not clean, cook or not cook in. As you get older - as we all are - you will find certain things you thought as a child you may not bother with (cleaning) suddenly seem not just a good way to spend your time, but pleasurable (in a Cif clean way, you are filthy). Here are the things that make us feel domesticated. Like proper adults, not pets.
The Drag Queen Cometh...
"It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen." Dolly Parton
It stands to reason that Elizabeth I is the subject of many an unorthodox myth. After an unsteady start - dead mother, dead mother who died at the hands of her father, step-mums coming out of her ears, sister locking her in a tower - at the ripe old age of twenty-five, she nabbed the throne and became one of the most charismatic, unique and headstrong women in royal history. Four hundred years later and there's still loads we don't know about Liz, and so much of what we assume to know is interpretation rather than fact. She clearly valued her privacy, which is probably one of the biggest points of intrigue; how did she manage to have (if you believe all the gossip, which I so do) as salacious and unprecedented independent life as she did, in the public eye? At a time when a queen would have had been told how and when to do everything from go to war to wipe her arse, she lived radically and without apology. Love her or hate her, the girl is a sixteenth century pioneer. Becky Shepherd writes... Happy Birthday Shirley Muldowney
In one of my professional lives I work for a motoring organisation. I can (now) drive. My Dad is a car engineer, so I have pretty good car history knowledge. One of our Squeamish writers, F1 Kate, gives any male F1 reporter a run for their money and I don't think I need to tell you it's 2013.
Yet google women drivers and you will get (in 0.80 seconds or so) and you will get a host of hilarious videos of women parking and articles declaring that it's a FACT women can't drive. I expect that's why women driver's insurance is so low compared men's. Their average driving record is so good because they spend more time parking than on the actual road - AMIRIGHT FELLAS?! There seems to be a lot of pointless and lazy women driver hostility out there. So we would like to make a big deal today that it is the First Lady of Drag Racing Shirley Muldowney's birthday! Squeamish Kate writes... Educating Sue: Airbrushing Sociology
Exam time is over for Squeamish Sue! And, although her sneaky plan to do her second year reading done in advance has been thwarted, she managed to attend a course on Trans* issues at Warwick. Next door's cat is so proud he's left her a present.
Several of my peers and contemporaries in recent weeks have reached that magic age that is the new 50, and my son played and sang for some of them at various venues around and about. It's a demonstration of how word gets around; he is pretty good at what he does and it has had a knock on effect, as more and more people have asked him to play. This has encouraged him to try open mic sessions a bit further afield, spurred on by a friend who has an entrepreneurial eye and ear for what's out there. It's all very well his mummy saying he's good, but I doubt that carries much weight as I might be considered just a touch biased! Squeamish Sue Are Women Parliament's Panacea?
One of the peculiar things women spend their life having to contend is the idea that we are the purer, calmer, more peaceful sex. When a girl isn't diligent at her school work, or at least hand her homework in on time (or, in my case, at all) she's probably under the bad influence of some no good boy. If she isn't neat and reticent she's a tomboy.
I was quietly making a batch of beer mustard on a Friday evening, listening to Any Questions and one question made my cider vinegar (it's an ingredient) befuddled ears prick up. "Is it acceptable behaviour for MPs to act like school children in a playground in the House of Commons; what sort of example is it setting to our future generations?" Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Super Powers
In spite of the comic book world's fondness for creating female characters who appear to have the power to defy the laws of physics each time they take a step, let alone throw a punch thanks to their ginormous bosom, members of the Squeamish team do love a comic.
In light of the new comic SheZow! in whi ch ordinary 12 year old boy Guy Hamdon has a super hero alter-ego he summons with the shout of "You go girl!" we wonder what super power we would like to have to further the forces of feminism... Father Figures in Promiscuity
We really need to sort out our stereotypes. And when I say sort them out I mean smash them. There are girl freshers going out in ill-advised outfits because they know it is a FACT that all gay men are fashion experts, and their new gay best friend dressed her. There are blonde women gaining first class degrees in challenging subjects at university - which is no doubt a lot of fun but you such achievements are not of the empty-headed. And there are children doing just fine thank you very much, being brought up by their single parent.
Researchers from the totally unbiased Texas Christian University in Fort Worth conducted a study of 64 female students. The students were asked about their father/daughter bond, sex and contraception. Squeamish Kate writes... Smear Campaign
You're thinking it, I'm thinking it, the Daily Mail's thinking it. Why is Book Club heiress Chloe Madeley out and about in her pants? The issue of TV's Richard and Judy has been tweeting images of what I believe we are obliged to call her washboard abs and has landed the prestigious OK! Magazine bottom right corner of the cover.
That's not what caught our attention though, someone's got to do the mandatory underwear shoot and it might as well be the lovely Chloe. It is the quote above her cover photo of Chloe, looking rather irked to be photographed semi-nude in bed with her boyfriend, that caught our eye: "Page 3 girls are today's feminists." Squeamish Kate writes... Growing Old Gratefully
I am Generation Y. Like, comfortably so. You probably guessed that from my youthful use of 'like'. I am old enough to be horrified by seeing today's teens dress in the same garb my friend's older sisters did when I was a girl. Basically guys I'm on the right side of the cusp, but I am on the cusp of being old. Ish. Mature, let's say. Old enough to toy with the idea of doing some stomach crunches whilst The Archers is on and insist on making everything from scratch. An adult.
Thanks to Encarta 95 (oh yes) and The Internet I am impatient for knowledge and instantaneous responses. Be it regarding the answer to the question 'what was All Saints first single?' (thanks Google and 3G!) or a miracle moisturiser that promises to smooth my skin. Squeamish Kate writes... Wake the heckle up
Let's talk about heckling again (bollocks!). Recently Michelle Obama hit the headlines (or the comment pieces) after she dealt with a heckler surprisingly unsnappily. I had credited the First Lady with a knack for a good one liner but no. When heckled by Ellen Sturtz regarding Barack Obama's delay in signing executive order barring discrimination by federal contractors based on sexual orientation Michelle Obama said: "Listen to me, or you can take the mic but I'm leaving."
She didn't leave, she resumed. Sturtz didn't heckle for the rest of the speech. Heckling hasn't simply become - like the rainbow parties* of Ariel Levy's book Female Chauvinist Pigs - something the press is talking about but nobody is doing. It is not reserved for sweaty comedy clubs, PMQs (is that heckling? Or political banter? Why can I never remember which is which?!) and rallies. Heckling seems to be gaining ground, does this mean we are waking up? Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Doctor Who Candidates
It doesn't matter how wibbly-wobbley timey-wimey stuff gets, sooner or later all good things must come to an end. And so it is with Doctor Who. Not the show itself of course - it's become such a part of the British psyche that its end would be as unthinkable as crumpets being banned or a nation-wide tea drought [feel free to insert your own national/ geek cliché here]. No, we refer of course to the upcoming departure of rubber-faced Matt Smith from the (sort of) titular role.
There's been a whole heap of speculation about who should become the next Doctor, what with this being an event of the utmost importance (shockingly not everyone - including one of our very own - thinks so. Shame!) If you're unconvinced or haven't seen the most recent series due to work/ travel/ being trapped under an infeasibly large marshmallow you can catch up using our reviews. And who are we to miss out on joining in with some idle speculation? Yeah, the contracts have probably already been locked down and the BBC special announcing the new actor filmed. But that doesn't mean we can't use our imaginations to cast our ideal Tardis pilot... Comic Support Act
You know that thing where, when another woman does well or is in trouble we all stick by her no matter what? Or, we all stick by her unless she is in trouble for murder or something that can be filed under The Last Straw anyway. Because SISTERHOOD. It seems to be an expectation, that has no consistent basis for it to be a consistent expectation.
The default so often is to go head to head with our sisters. We either disqualify them for not being 'cisters'. Or fraternising with sexist media - I wonder what reaction Page 3 models would get requesting our support without first renouncing their nipple baring ways? If they are too pretty we don't like 'em. If they don't match up with society's current view on what's attractive we don't like 'em. Sometimes we just ignore them and the only reason, unpleasant as it is, that I can think of is because they are a minority. Squeamish Kate writes... Are we heading Towards an HPV Scare?
How would you feel if someone you were in a long term relationship with told people that giving you head had caused them cancer? It's a pretty shitty trade off after all, it would certainly be a great way to put a real rift in the relationship.
The massive media storm around Michael Douglas' comments to the Guardian at the weekend just shows what a great story this is from the media perspective - fame, cancer, sex and disturbing mental visuals all rolled into one icky/fabulous/tragic package. Another member of the Squeamish team expressed horror at the possible ramifications of the Michael Douglas story - "we don't want people to be put off cunnilingus!" Indeed. Squeamish Louise writes... Doctor Who's NExt?
So, after 3 years in charge of the TARDIS Matt Smith is handing in the keys at the end of the year. And with this news the inevitable tabloid speculation over who will be next begins.
Although I'd rather have discovered it while watching the episode in question, Squeamish Kate accidentally provided a spoiler and the defence I'd have found out through the media anyway... The BBC has perfectly timed for newspaper silly season. By letting us know know they've ensured that its flagship science fiction/fantasy show will get plenty of free press in the run up to its 50th anniversary. Gareth writes... The Guys Have It
It's probably safe to say we have all received a bit of unwanted attention. That guy who, as you sit down to a Sunday roast with your sister asks if he can buy you a drink and, when you refuse, offers the compromise of shots. No thank you. The man on the street who felt he should alert you to the fact you'd hit puberty - because I know teen girls tend not to be very aware of their body changing. The student who kindly invites your breasts to a party in halls (RSVP). The dudes who approach you and your friend and inform you to by all means tell them to piss off but may they join you? No, piss off. The guy who you spend moments trapped in a mutual dilemma - is he looking at you looking at him, or are you looking at him looking at you? (examples may or may not be very specific to me) Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...banned
It could be, in the not so distant future, that something disappears from shop magazine shelves. Magazines quite possibly. Hopefully, one day - if we're good, the division of Men's Interest and Women's Interest. But first up it is the lad mags that might be removed from the shelves, lest our lady esteem take more battering. Squeamish Louise wrote about how she'd rather see a push for diversity in these magazines, Squeamish Kate wants lad mags to address their language. The Object/UK Feminista petition going around the net and making the media hum to the tune of one type of feminism regarding shops ditching, nay, banning lad mags from their shelves has got us thinking. What would we like to ban from shops...
Diversity over perversity
Are you tired of arguing about pictures of 'sexy' women yet? What about pornography? I'm not sure why so many feminist organisations think that these are the big battles we should be fighting right now, in the midst of an economic downturn and cuts that are devastating people's lives.
Maybe it's because I just can't get my head around the idea that sexual acts on film or in images are, in and of themselves, immoral or degrading. If that is that case, then surely sex and masturbation are in and of themselves wrong? Or is it only the act of watching that causes degradation? Are sex clubs always dens of iniquity? Dogging? Simulated sex in arthouse movies? Topless photographs? Squeamish Louise writes... You're Less Beautiful Than You think
In the spirit of being real, like Dove ad campaigns, JLo* and TV talent competitions the Huffington Post has dredged up some science son. In April you will probably remember Dove launched an ad campaign that fed both our hunger for CSI style plots and esteem issues. Some totally ordinary women were lured into a loft, made to talk to strangers and then describe themselves to a forensic artist.
The women, when describing themselves, I suspect were briefed to describe some sort of mythical sea monster "oh, very deep set red eyes, gargantuan uni-brow, protruding gills..." to the artist who drew faces of varying plausibility. A stranger who had been introduced to the first woman would then describe her to the artist with descriptions such as 'kind eyes' oh kind eyes I will get right on to drawing those. Squeamish Kate writes... Lose the Magging Sexism
A little while ago I wrote on XOJane and completely alienated myself from, y'know, general feminism by saying I wasn't planning on signing the petition asking Dominic Mohan to take the bare boobs out of The Sun. Not because I like Page 3, I don't even read The Sun. I struggle to see how a smiling busty young woman is more damaging than the porn star poses on the cover of the Daily Sport. There's more nuance to it than that of course - I wish it was all as simple as Object et al make feminism out to be. Cover up and patriarchy will be smashed. Squeamish Kate writes...
How to make a Mountain out of a meal
You know that meme, the one citing a few characters in fairy tales such as Cinderella who broke her fairy godmother SPECIFIC curfew, Pinocchio lying and drinking until he almost turned into an ass* Snow White shacking up with 7 men blablabla the punch line being how do you expect us to be good children filling our heads with such bad examples of behaviour. I'm sure many a parent has considered the example set by Hansel and Gretel's step-mother.
(discussions of eating habits, possible ED trigger warning) Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Wait for it
While Kate Gallaway is gallivanting around the towns in old lady prosthetics warning young women to get up the duff and quick - don't you know your ovaries are over? Curiously, recently New Girl also covered the subject of leaving it too late to be impregnated. We guess that's the zeitgeist. Pregnancy at a suitable age. But really, what are some other more pressing, less personal things campaigns should be getting behind and urging us not to leave too late? We had a think, some of us had a laugh leaving their entry to the very last minute. They're not laughing now.
Sex Ed Brought to you by the letter S
The peculiar skirmishes and pronounced discomfort from people who live in straight relationships, or aim to, over equal marriage brings to mind a Louis CK quote: "It doesn't have any effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it's a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say 'How am I supposed to explain to my child that two men are getting married?' I dunno, it's your shitty kid, you fucking tell them. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in LOVE but they can't get married because you don't want to talk to your ugly child for fucking five minutes?" Squeamish Kate writes...
Young Women's Pregnant Pause
If there are any typos or if this piece lacks in clarity you can blame me. I am trying to type my thoughts through the deafening sound of my fertility alarm bells. Hang on, I'm just going to blithely hit the snooze button. SHH BIOLOGY!
Of course 15 or so years from now I will be feeling quite the silly one. Not getting pregnant by boy or baster now, whilst my ovaries are bountiful, my uterus plush, life unstable and bank balance empty. Presenter and now official face of Regret-filled Older Mothers Kate Garraway knows this feeling all too well. Squeamish Kate writes... Judging Consent
I want to share this news story with you, because I only know about it due to a few people on my Twitter feed flagging it up, and I can only find one English language report online. I'm really not sure why that is - it's a horrific story and I'm surprised not to have seen more outrage about it.
Trigger Warning: graphic descriptions of rape and sexual assault. So, last week a court in Sweden cleared three men of rape. Nothing unusual in that you might think - sadly, it happens every day. (and while I'm slightly hesitant to point this out I'm going to anyway, just for the avoidance of any doubt, obviously this is saddening and sickening because of the incredibly low conviction rate in rape cases. Not because it's sad that loads of false allegations end up in court - that's much rarer than rapists managing to escape conviction.) Squeamish Louise writes... The Naming of the Doctor
Well after a fairly disappointing series Moffat redeems himself with a fantastic episode that answers a lot of the questions he had left hanging over the last couple of series and really makes me excited for the 50th anniversary episode in November.
Moffat, who has spent the last year saying that multiple Doctors will not appear in the 50th episode, proves once again that he, like The Doctor, lies. Or at least manipulates the truth, this wasn't the 50th anniversary, but featured every (or at least most of them - I didn't see Paul McGann or David Tennant, but am prepared to believe I missed them) previous Doctor. He claimed there would be no two-parters this series, but this was totally the first half of the fiftieth anniversary episode. In an age where every spoiler is revealed months in advance this was a huge coup! Gareth writes... Friday 5...Disney Male Makeovers
Oh Disney, Disney, Disney. When Brave came out it was rather exciting to see the first kickass heroine since Mulan beating the boys at their own game. Merida was that rare thing, a proper Disney tomboy, not beautiful but bookish like uh, Beauty in Beauty and the Beast or dying to be trussed up like a sparkly turkey like Cinderella, being kept on her toes by a handsome prince who - like a Strictly Come Dancing judge - was swept away by her dance moves. She didn't slyly seduce royalty by feigning a coma. We don't know who came up with that one first Snow White or Sleeping Beauty but ladies, it's peculiar behaviour.
Why we need to be all up in women's business
Everybody but me seems to have an OKCupid account and an office sweepstake on the reality TV show The Apprentice. Actually one of the offices I work in has an Apprentice sweepstake I could be part of but I have never seen the show, and I wasn't in on the day the sweepstake was started, and I don't bet (it's just tricking you into doing maths). Without having even seen the show I can tell you from eavesdropping on the train that there's a 'crazy bitch' in it. In fact all the women in it are, apparently 'crazy bitches' it is just that some have mitigating hotness. Attitudes like this make it unsurprising that only 17% of of small business in the UK are owned by women. Squeamish Kate writes...
Fast Living in Nice
Isadora Duncan had a penchant for floaty scarves. Back in the late 19th Century the American dancer had made quite the name for herself in Europe, as she reclaimed dance and movement as high art. She was exiled from America due to her Soviet Union sympathies and resided in Europe until her dramatic and tragic death. In September 1927 Isadora was holidaying in Nice, France. In the seat of a convertible next to her lover who could have known her long and delicate accessory (scarf, not man) would be the cause of her demise? Squeamish Nicola writes...
The Mother of Feminists
Recently, I've been having extended dialogue with dedicated feminists. Or rather, I've been having lengthy coffees with women who considered themselves career feminists before they had an accident with their Pill. They were going to change the world; we chained ourselves to courthouses together while at university to protest the horrendous violence perpetrated against women in South Africa (where we went to university). And then they found themselves pregnant, and away from the great academic role models we used to grill about the meaning of life. Bridget writes...
Doctor Who: A Nightmare in Silver
Of all the episodes this series this one, perhaps, had the most to live up to.
Neil Gaiman's previous episode, The Doctor's Wife, was one of the best episodes the show has ever produced. Unfortunately, while his return episode was entertaining it was also very flawed and featured as many moments of idiocy as it did genius. Firstly the positives. The new look Cybermen were fantastic - a brilliant melding of the new series Cybus Cybermen and the original series Mondasian Cybermen. Gaiman was also pretty successful in his attempt to make the Cybermen scary again - the moment where one moved at super-speed was a fantastic reinvention of an enemy that usually gives you days' worth of warning as they slowly clank towards you. Gareth writes... friday 5...Magazine categories
It is what separates us from the animals. Magazine reading. How would we be able to signal our lifestyle, or lifestyle aspirations, to our fellow commuters or local newsagent if we didn't purchase the occasional copy of Vanity Fair. But sometimes we are constricted in our choice by the powers what be at WHSmiths or Tesco et al because no matter how many times these companies recieve a tweet with a damning photo and the hashtag #everydaysexism they continue to divide magazines into Men's Interest and Women's Interest. In spite of the fact many women like science and motorcycles, while there are men interested in celebrity gossip and beauty tips. What can we say? Newsagents love a binary.
So, in the interest of having clear interests well marked and defined we have come up with some new categories for shops to latch on to. Tits & Giggles
I'm a sucker for a bad pun, so Tits 'n' Giggles started off on a positive note with me. A night of comedy to raise money for breast cancer awareness - really, what's not to like in that sentence?
Well, when I first heard about CoppaFeel! the charity - the gig was raising money for - last year, I wasn't so sure. I've known people who have had breast cancer, and my day job occasionally involves working with people who have or had cancer, and the advertising campaign I saw didn't sit well with me. It used young women, in what seemed like sexualised poses. Is that really relevant to the average person with breast cancer when the usual age of diagnosis is over 50? Squeamish Louise writes... Why Cambridge isn't Ready For This Jelly
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED! Not really, I just wanted to prepare you for the news that end of exams long-standing Cambridge tradition of jelly wrestling has been banned. It is possible that never again shall Cambridge students, high on post exam elation, hear the satisfying slap of flavoured gelatine 'gainst female flesh. Never again shall the squelch of jellied bottom hitting paddling pool plastic ring out across the Wyverns Drinking Society garden party. I know many former Cantabrigians shall sigh sadly, realising the halcyon days they recall of violent jelly based celebrations will not be re-enacted this year. Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Konnie Huq and Bill Oddie among them no doubt. You should hear their jelly wrestling stories you really should. Squeamish Kate writes...
Save me Zelda's Story
Whenever there is an announcement of a well loved or well known book (very different beasts, we all know War and Peace - we all have vague plans to totally read it, but we don't love it) is being made into a film there is always cynicism and excitement. Throw into the mix 'oh yeah and it is going to be needlessly in 3D' and you're courting full blown panic. The Great Gatsby was the most recent of these books to be realised by Baz Luhman. In 3D. With Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire and Carey Mulligan cast in place of what the book had dredged up from your imagination while reading F. Scott. Fitzgerald's book.
It is telling that few previews and news stories about the film have gone without mention of Fitzgerald's wife, Zelda Fitzgerald. He called her the the 'first American flapper' and used her as proof of his expertise on this new trend, which he was frequently quizzed about - instead of any actual flappers being asked about their lifestyle. Because what would they know? Squeamish Kate writes... Doctor Who - Trouble at t'Mill
After a fairly middling series filled with poorly realised monsters and plots that don't quite feel finished, Mark Gatiss returns with his second episode of the series - and it is a another classic. Between this and Cold War Gatiss has proven to be the strongest writer this series and he makes the best of the annual Doctor-lite episode.
And, to be entirely honest, the episode is much more interesting before The Doctor turns up (about 15 minutes in, probably the longest we've ever gone without him making an appearance). A Gothic mystery set in Victorian England, although set in Yorkshire rather than the more usual London (The Doctor has previously visited on The Evil Of The Daleks,The Talons Of Weng-Chiang, and obviously Gatiss's own The Unquiet Dead). Friday 5...Bank Note Faces
With Churchill set to replace social reformer Elizabeth Fry on the nation's fivers when the next set of bank notes is issued in 2016, the queen will be the only woman left on our paper money. (Which presumably means that if Charles becomes King before then, our notes will be a total sausage-fest...). It's not the first time a lady on our cash has been bumped off. The lady with the lamp, Florence Nightingale was replaced by Charles Darwin on the ten pound note so Elizabeth Fry, Quaker and social reformer is all we have representing the ladies right now.
This got us thinking about which faces we'd like to see staring back at us when we visit the cash machine or wince as we pay for a round... Happy Anneversary
Today is the 2nd of May which marks 477 years since Anne Boleyn - the sexy but not as sexy as Katherine Howard in the films wife - was arrested and imprisoned on the charges of incest, adultery and treason. We all know Anne Boleyn as the young woman who was more than a pair of breasts to Tudor England and had more up her sleeve than most (sorry, first and last joke about the alleged extra boob and finger)of her rivals for Henry VIII's affections. But we don't tend to think of this woman who bore unto us Elizabeth I, icon to all redheaded girls or becavitied history buff as much more than temporary wife. You might say she set the trend for marrying Henry (Catherine of Aragon did it before it was cool) but what else? Squeamish Kate writes...
I Must, I Must Improve My Presence
The gender pay gap (currently - in today's money if you will - women earn 14 percent less on average than men doing the same job) is still hounding us and using examples that can best be described as exceptions to the rule; Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Sheryl Sandberg they remain that. Exceptions to the rule. Women who didn't just rise to the top, but weren't afraid to do so.
The trick is, it seems, is to simply ask. Have you tried asking? See how well that went for little Oliver Twist. Please sir, can I have some more? No, that's not the way we are told. You don't ask, you see it, want it, take it. Smash and grab. Rude. Squeamish Kate writes... Educating Sue: A Place Where the sun don't shine
Our resident mature student Squeamish Sue has been busy, though not with uni work. Busy causing family rifts, ingratiating herself into tourist groups and searching for a safe place where the sun don't shine. But she's still found time to come up with handy hints for optimum dipping stick use...
Easter was celebrated this year with a potential family rift, brought about by misunderstanding and a lack of communication; that seamless combo for the perfect night's sleep. This year my sister in law, with whom my mother in law always spends Easter, and my other sister in law, with whom she doesn't, were unavailable together in some remote corner of paradise on the other side of the world. Meanwhile those of us at the coal face have been otherwise engaged with uni work, didn't connect Easter and paradise in the same nightmare, and made independent arrangements imagining mother in law to be catered for. Squeamish Sue writes... Doctor Who: Who Through the TARDIS
This week's episode of Doctor Who was a perfect example of being careful what you wish for. I've always wanted to know what was through the doors of the TARDIS. However, whenever we've had a peek (during Tom Baker's run, particularity in Logopolis, or more recently in Neil Gaiman's episode) what we've seen has been a bit of a disappointment - usually endless identical corridors or, on one occasion, a run-down Victorian swimming pool.
Unfortunately despite moments of brilliance, and a few beautiful sets, this once did not buck the trend and was largely the Doctor wandering around corridors while being chased by a fantastic looking but poorly realised and fleshed out monster. Again. Gareth writes... Friday 5...Teen Magazine Wisdom
Teen magazines. Once a young adult book couldn't be finished without a bored teen 'flipping through magazines', now today's teenager would raise their eyes from their iPad and exclaim sarcastically yet innocently 'they flipped through what now?' The very notion of turning pages increasingly alien to them.
As More! Magazine closes its doors/pages for the last time the papers are a-buzz with the head-shaking told you so lesson that people simply go online nowadays. Celebrity gossip, bitchery and opinion can all be got online. But that, as we recall, is not what the noble teen magazine was about. In the days of dial up it was still princess of guidance and affordable fashion. Today we share what we learned from teen magazines... The Prince, The Prince and the Murderess
Any fan of Poirot, courtesan history or 1920s buff would be horrified to realise a case such as that of Princess Fahmy Bey had passed them by. Centring on a French courtesan turned princess who shot her Egyptian prince husband at the Savoy, it is the mystery of the 3 shots and the not guilty verdict. it smacks of Agatha Christie at her most lavish.
Channel 4's documentary Edward VIII's Murderous Mistress (rather like The Spice Girls you have to nickname them all to tell them apart, Murderous Mistress, Married Mistress, Divorced Mistress...) lifted the lid on both the playboy prince's sexual preferences (let's just say from Wallis Simpson's fondness for exacting neatness and scolding letters she might have been nicknamed Mrs. Grey had she lived now) and the lengths the establishment will go to to avoid scandal. Making you wonder if public nudity is the least of Harry's misdemeanours. Squeamish Kate writes... Magazines in a Tight Spot
Trawling the web to see what's what in the world I noticed that now it is April and the sun has shone for enough consecutive days for everyone to stop tweeting about there being a large alien yellow ball in the sky (seriously, if you tweeted something along those lines I am surprised at you) it's time for women to be told to ditch the opaques.
Opaques is fancy newspaper fashion talk for black tights. You will rarely see black tights in a fashion shoot, in fashion pages land tanned Caucasian women waft about their open plan offices pairing their smart/casual skirt suits with bare legs, their feet never chafing against the unforgiving p/leather of their high heels in pinky beige (also known, off-puttingly and bafflingly, as flesh tone). Nobody wants to see their designs and stylings paired with black tights, which is a shame for they are glorious and everybody knows it. Squeamish Kate writes... Tails from the Deep
You might have noticed we at Squeamish Bikini have a certain fondness for sea creatures. We have a squid and whale representing us now but we will let you into a little secret...the original Squeamish mascot was a mermaid, unfortunately we couldn't come up with a bosom we were happy with and so the noble Squeamish Squid came to our rescue.
But the mermaid has the best stories, myths and documentaries, so the mermaid remains close to our hearts. Which is why Kirsten Tambling and Laura Seymour's new collaborative project Poems Underwater - an exploration of mermaids appeals so much to us. The pair would like others to contribute their own ideas and art to the project and there's certainly no shortage of material: "The mermaid, ancient and imaginary, has real life contemporary resonance with the figure of the bisexual and of the migrant, borderless individual." I'd like to say we met over a bottle of Kraken rum to discuss the project on the beach as the salty sea air whistled and the waves crashed on the shore... But we didn't, we emailed. Here Kirsten and Laura talk dugongs, sailors and whether mermaids are real or not. Squeamish Kate interviews... Doctor Who: On a Hiding to Nothing
After The Rings Of Akhaten I was really not expecting much from this week's episode Hide when Neil Cross's (who wrote both episodes) name turned up in the credits.
However, although Hide suffered from many of the same problems as Rings (a barely fleshed out and vague threat, a damsel in distress that the audience had been given little reason to care about, and a rushed ending) this time the story worked and the episode was an enjoyable, but not exceptional, romp. Gareth writes... Friday 5...Bra slang
Were we the types to do word clouds (which we totally know how to do but simply choose not to) it occurred to us that the stand out word this month might be 'bra'. Now hush, we aren't proud or nothing...OK maybe a little but we realised that there aren't many good pieces of slang for bras. Which is peculiar, seeing as their content has all kinds of slang that Squeamish Kate throws about semi-offensively. Baps, tits, boobies, puppies. So why no bra slang? Think about it, it is always bra, bra, bra. Unless we're feeling fancy and then it's brassiere. Ooh, so continental. Or if you're reading Germaine Greer on the subject of horse riding where she acknowledges a need for “boulder holders.” Because we hate repetition over here, or like to give the impression we do, we endeavoured to come up with some slang for bra. Use it, abuse it, suggest some more...
Dove Reals the women in
Oh dear. Someone got me started on the ol' Real Women thing again. Well, I say someone, I mean multinational consumer goods company Unilever, owners of Dove skincare. Who have launched a new campaign in the usual vein of Real Women, Tryin' Their Gosh-Darnedest With Dove Products over in America.
Oh, is it more people of different sizes and ethnicity dancing around having the time of their lives in white underwear? No, reader, no it is not. The party in white pants is over, it is time to get serious. Because guys, some women don't feel so good about themselves. Some women feel so...not good about themselves that they exaggerate the features they don't like about themselves and forget they actually look perfectly ordinary. I know I know, it's the self-esteem, stupid. Squeamish Kate writes... Strike a Pose in Red
You know, a little while back BBC show Woman's Hour, (32.20 minutes in) which is sadly not airing today, had a feature on wearing red. We weren't aware but apparently it's a notoriously tough colour to wear. According to the British Heart Foundation (which you can donate to here) a third of women "secretly wish they had the confidence to wear red." They worry it draws too much attention to them.
This, dear reader, is silly. Red is a wonderful colour that doesn't even say 'look at me' - here's lesson 1 about wearing colours, colours say nothing. Only the wearer gets to make utterances or statements, if people let their clothes speak for them nothing would get done. Or said. Anyway, as it's midweek and Wednesday is always a wash out, we thought a How-to was in order. If you are still standing in front of your wardrobe (and probably incredibly late for work) wondering what to wear we are here to help zhoosh up your outfit with red... The Squeamish Editors guide... Bras Drop at News they may aid gravity
I read, I think in a Greer book, probably The Female Eunuch or The Whole Woman (recommended to our year 12 English Literature and Language class by our teacher Barry who was a big fan of Greer's handbag = outer womb theory) that because so many women have been on the pill for so long before proper investigation in to female body chemistry (plus it's all in the water, allegedly, so next time you're feeling cheap at a restaurant order up a tall glass of tap oestrogen - it'll make you feel classier) we have no idea about how a cis woman's hormones might roll if left to their own devices. Naturally this implies that eating hormone infested meat and swallowing contraception is maybe not a good idea (especially if it's a prophylactic) but also - it's too late now! Squeamish Kate writes...
Doctor Who comes in from the cold
After last week's one note musical episode Doctor Who returns to form with an ice-cold classic.
Mark Gatiss(sssssssssss) continues to be one of the most consistently entertaining of the new Who writers and this is probably his most accomplished episode to date. He's clearly a fan of the show and introduced a vintage foe to a new generation of fans in a tense, occasionally terrifying, Alien inspired episode. Gareth writes... Friday 5...Pubic Hair Styles
Waxing brand Nads have been busy, it's not all mixing up huge sticky vats of wax for people to painfully style their hair down there as they wish. No, Nads employees have been out and about surveying people! Specifically heterosexual men, who they have been quizzing about women's pubic hair.
Just 12% 'admitted' to liking what is called The Hollywood (all off) and 43% said they preferred a natural triangle (apparently you have to request the Bermuda Triangle if you go to a professional). 17% care for the Brazilian or Landing Strip style and a creative 15% like the 'heart-breaker' where the pubic hair is shaped into a heart. An Essex dwelling Mr Daniel Smith (27) told Nads: "I like it interesting - like unwrapping a present and finding a surprise, I do prefer some hair so a design like the landing strip or heart shape is good for me..." To keep things interesting for all the Daniel Smiths out there we have come up with some new pubic hair styles to surprise... The BReast of Feminism
Hey, people...boobies. HAHAHA! Anything funnier? Anything more worthy of marking a significant amount of tweets than the word 'boobs'? Isn't the number sequence 5318008 what calculators were designed for? If you want to raise a smirk you can usually find success with some variation of the word 'boobs'. Why? I don't know they are just funny.
Boobs are absurd, no-one knows quite why they exist. My favourite theory is the flat face theory by anthropologist Gillian Bentley. Breasts became necessary as our faces got flatter, in order to prevent suffocation as our flatter faces breastfed. Squeamish Kate writes... Paris, Paris, Paris! Out, out, out!
Yesterday due to scheduling (yes we have a schedule, what?) and general fatigue from Thatcher coverage, we didn't write about the death of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. However yesterday in amongst the coverage of Thatcher's death, her funeral, her legacy was the news that teen czar, or Youth Police and Crime Commissioner, Paris Brown had stepped down from her czaring.
It was always going to be a tough job. Defending giving a teenager a £15,000 salary to generally teen about and update the police on teen stuff. Any job with czar in the title is traditionally difficult to defend or define. Unless you're heading up Russia in a past century. Squeamish Kate writes... Dr Who: A less than stellar adventure
Well that was huge disappointment of an episode. Without a doubt the biggest misstep of Moffat's era and on a par with Fear Her orLove And Monsters as a contender of the worst episode of new Who.
Most disappointingly it starts so well. The opening five minutes showing how Clara's parents met were beautiful. This was followed by Doctor Who's valiant attempt at a Star Wars Cantina scene, which really showed off how good costumes and CGI can be on a (reduced) TV budget. Sadly all the imagination and care that went into the visuals were wasted on a bland, pedestrian episode with a nonsensical dull plot. Gareth writes... Emergent Feminist Star
I think now the BBC has shown how it's done. Feminists should take note and, once they have calculated their class (I got emergent service worker and now I don't know what to do with myself or who I am any more), work on a calculator to help people work out what kind of feminist they are. Or if they even are a feminist. I know, I know, it would render many a feminist commentator redundant but I also think it would make things easier for celebrity women and I'd like to make things easier for celebrity women. Indeed all women. Squeamish Kate writes
Friday 5...New Rules for Politicians
Iain Duncan Smith kicked this week off with a claim that obviously he could live on 53 pounds a week. Come on, once you've taken advantage of the subsidised food and drink at Parliament, rented out a few of your eight spare rooms and flogged a few family heirlooms you're laughing all the way to the bank. Oddly, he's been reluctant to prove his claim, no matter how many people sign their names to say they think it's a good idea. And it's not as if he'd be the first - Matthew Parris famously tried and failed to live on 26.80 pounds in the '80s. Perhaps IDS was making an ill-thought out April Fool's joke and is too embarrassed to own up. Or maybe he's right and it would only be a 'stunt' to live on the same amount as some of his constituents for a limited amount of time. That got us thinking - obviously these kind of restrictions would need to be implemented for as long as an MP is in power. So if we could set some new rules for politicians, what would they be?
Iain [M] Banks Diagnosed with Cancer
Iain Banks Image: Stuart Caie In an announcement that caused his website to crash, author Iain [M] Banks yesterday shared the devastating news that he has late stage gall bladder cancer, and may only have months to live. Squeamish Louise and Gareth pay tribute to the work of an extraordinary writer...
The announcement was beautifully written - emotive, with a strand of dark humour. Of course it was. But it was impossible to read without an almost physical reaction of sadness. Banks has written 26 novels - 14 as Iain Banks and a further 12 as Iain M Banks. But when he dies we'll be losing more than just a prolific author. Squeamish Louise & Gareth write... Ringing in the Who
Well, I did say that Richard E Grant was somewhat underused in the Doctor Who Christmas episode and now we know why...
Doctor Who returned to the screens this weekend with a strong episode that balanced humour, drama and fear and still managed to have introduce the new companion. Again. But this time it looks like we've finally met the real Clara. This episode functioned very well as a reboot for the series, presumably designed to attract new viewers who have heard about the upcoming 50th anniversary. There were references to the past - I particularly liked the Jammie Dodgers and the fez - but the episode worked very well at introducing a new, slightly changed Doctor and explained exactly who and what you could expect from the two hearted alien this series. Gareth writes... Teaching Objects
In these Gove-riddled times of education it would be nice to think the teachers unions were able to discuss teaching. Maybe reminisce about the days when chalk boards were chalk boards. Instead the NUT has to concentrate on the continuing problem of teenage girls continuing to be young, easily influenced and currently gyrating to the continued pornified culture: "Growing up in a world where it is normal for women's bodies to be seen as sex objects affects the way that girls in our schools grow to view themselves and their place in society" Squeamish Kate writes...
David Bowie is...an Exhibition Review
The great thing about David Bowie is he is a lot of things to a lot of people. He has appeal that transcends decades and encompasses more than his music. Bowie's chameleon-like nature and infinite creativity has given us characters, costumes, lyrics and iconic images that have become works of art in their own right. No wonder one of Britain's most acclaimed musicians has his own retrospective and he doesn't even have to be dead to make it the most popular exhibition in town.
The Victoria & Albert Museum poster for David Bowie is dons a world famous image of the man as his most well know creation. Lightening bolt make-up splits the porcelain face of a flame haired Ziggy Stardust. Immortalised by photographer Brian Duffy, Ziggy stares back at you from the £4 print. I wanted one of these posters more than anything on Earth, but as always you exit though the shop and I had a whole exhibition to take in. Squeamish Nicola writes... Friday 5...tips to shake off slimy gits
Hurrah! Not only is it Friday but we have a long weekend ahead of us. Ah an extra day over what is usually a dairy heavy weekend of celebration. You probably have plans to give and receive egg-shaped chocolate, or carob if you are so inclined. There is also the probability that you plan to go out and about. At night. In the dark. To places that sell alcohol.
Perhaps you go to these places to meet new people or maybe your plan is purely to scheme evil schemes with your comrades over a pint of real ale. Unfortunately either plan can be interrupted by that most persistent of creatures, the slimy git. They live in a world where no means 'probably, why don't you continue on your charm offensive and see how it goes...' to shake them off is tough, but it can be done. We share our tips. Of course nothing beats the greatest tip of all... don't be a slimy git. Real Women, Why don't You Roar?
The Real Women debate is something I have written about previously. It's not a subject I like, in fact I would go as far as to say it irritates me. Perhaps this is because I am not a real woman, or I am simply not clear on how you can define what a real woman is. The most recent 'hurrah look at those real women!' meme has been an image of some lingerie shop mannequins in Sweden. The photo was taken in 2010 but for some reason it's taken 3 years for it to blow our puny minds.
The mannequins in question are bigger and more plausibly shaped than those seen in UK shops. They are apparently a closer reflection of the average shopper than the usual 5'10 size 10 plastic fantastics in the window. While the 'real woman' mannequins photographed are more voluptuous they are also white, well proportioned and more toned than the average size 16 woman. Squeamish Kate writes... All Aboard the Ladyship
Being a lady is hard guys. Like, really hard. It's not enough to simply identify yourself as a lady. Your ladynosity has to ooze from every movement you make, every word you quietly utter and every twin set you purchase (because you are a lady you will have a handkerchief in the event of lady-ing all over the furniture). If you're wondering if you are ladylike enough (it's never enough) then you should probably check your ladyness against this helpful guide in The Telegraph. Yeah that's right The Telegraph are taking it upon themselves to learn you how to lady, lady.
Thanks to finishing schools being a thing of the past those who with to lady away the day have to dirty their fingers with a little Googling. Please try to think of Google as a kind of rectangular, quiet butler who is very concerned with how quickly he can bring you things. You can even say 'that will be all Google' when you're done and click the red cross to close the window. Squeamish Kate writes... The Silenced Masculinity
Of course we have Google alerts set up for the term feminism (and women's health, amongst others if you're interested – FYI eat more kale!). Of course we do, what with writing about feminism on a regular basis. When we set up this google alert we thought what we would get would be notifications from feminist resources, articles by feminist writers and, obviously, the odd 'is feminism still relevant?' article.
What we have received has strayed from the expected. Much of the content has not been anti-feminism but plain anti-women. How women are ruining the world, how women are rubbish, can women even contribute? I paraphrase. But it seems there are more Mens Rights Activists talking about feminism online than feminists doing feminist things. Which is odd, because apparently it is all these men can do to get out of bed THANKS TO A FEMINIST. And not in a fun 'sex positive' feminist way, in an 'all men are predators' feminist way. I know, SIGH. Squeamish Kate writes... The New Cis-Term Cistem
Words are important. That goes (ironically) without saying, surely? The labels that we put on things and the ways in which we discuss them affect our views of them. Discussions of language are not uncommon in feminism - part of wanting to change things is thinking about how current power structures are created by and propped up by the ways we talk about them.
When I was at primary school, we talked about firemen, policemen, postmen. Now the general terms for these jobs are firefighter, police officer, postie. At work our meetings have a chair, not a chairman. Yes, these are small things, but they remove a linguistic signal that says these jobs are only for men to do, or that male is the default, female an afterthought, an add-on. A lot of language is male-dominated, because for so long men were seen as the default. Changing that helps us to realise it's no longer the case. Or rather, it shouldn't be. Squeamish Louise writes... Friday 5...Mantras
The mantra has many definitions but in the western world when we say 'mantra' we mean a calming group of words. They can have a message or just be something you can parrot to yourself that makes you feel soothed in times of high anxiety. That's why so many multi-millionaire celebrities have mantras tattooed on their skin. Angelina Jolie, Rihanna, Demi Lovato and Johnny Depp have all inked a calming memo to themselves on their bodies. Which is very kind because it means each time they get papped we learn something... These celebrities are deep, man.
When the theme for this week was sent out the expected response was one of cynicism. “I don't have a mantra and here's why...” But as it happens we are a bunch of mantra riddled mutterers with tried and tested go-to mantras. Who knew we were so darn mystical. So next time you see one of the Squeamish team wandering the streets and muttering to themselves worry not, they're just using their mantras. The Science of Scientits
For years, even after MySpace, Facebook and Twitter had really got going, we yearned for a way to tell our friends we loved science. No not love science, fucking love science. Oh sure on occasion we'd happily stumble upon a little fact about the platypus poisonous skin but until we truly took the time to read New Scientist properly – instead 'saving it for later' and allowing it to pile up in the bathroom, using the same logic (logic! Sciencey) as the award winning actor 'oh these old Oscars, Ijust use them to prop open the door' so visitors know you are a person that can both understand science and can defecate at the same time.
Then one day a page popped us for Facebookers to like. A page destined to become more popular than previous favourite Yes I will go out of my way to step on that crunchy leaf page. A page that read New Scientist for us and picked out all the science news we cared about. Which is cute animals, but in a slightly more edgy way than Cute Overload. Squeamish Kate writes... Educating Sue: One Field Trip for Mankind
Squeamish Sue's been having trouble with this century. She can't find breathable fabrics, her fellow students think she's from The Past and her boots are more suited to the moon than Berlin. Still, at least the drugs are free now.
I hadn’t realised quite how much in denial I was over this ‘landmark’ birthday of mine until I was recently getting ye olde monthly prescription for blood pressure tablets. I got out my card to pay, only to be told that my drugs are now free. Good grief, I was so shocked I had to sit down for a minute – to steady my blood pressure. I would willingly still be on the paying side of the fence given the choice! Squeamish Sue writes... Bare Faced Bushwhacking
Because we like everything to be a competition any excuse to get an Us and Them thing going. Which means there is a Who's Winning? Thing going at the same time. Of course those on the 'side' (if you will) of feminism believe the whole point of it is that everybody wins. Those on the other side are a mix of people who have simply never thought about it before, people who think feminism has had its day and, uh, others, who might call themselves traditionalists, or men's rights activists – who also believe their triumph would mean everybody wins. Me? I wish the Thundercats would hurry up and get here from Thundera and sort us all out. Squeamish Kate writes...
How to Diffuse the Teenage Time-Bomb
Whether we are worrying about their exam grades, looking for people the blame over their visible fertility or counting down the days until they are legal (it's what we defend press freedom for) teenage girls, or young women are a great concern of the media.
It's easy to see why. They've turned jumping up and down waving a sheet of paper with exam results on into an art. They continue to cope so well and, frankly, bravely with the inevitable over plucked eyebrows episode. They have proudly upheld the tradition of using plum or red hint-of-a-tint hair dye (though I fear the hardcore days of 'my mate done it with Toilet Duck, the burning's nearly stopped now' are over) come year 9. With a mere sneer – which they can now do in person, online or via Blackberry messaging – they can bring down entire nations/celebrities/fashion trends. Squeamish Kate writes... FridAY 5...mAN pLEASING
All the women's magazines are doing it, Louise Mensch is doing it, S&BJ day focuses entirely upon it and so we thought we should get in on this revolutionary action too. Yes, it's true. We have taken that path and started to wonder how best to please men. For some it's a case of bloody steak after women got all the attention on Valentine's Day. For those of the Tory persuasion it is a simply case of knowing when you're too old to reveal your knees. Mass publications continue to be baffled.
What is the secret to keeping the (allegedly) hairier sex happy? How can we possibly find out what makes the former residents of Mars tick? We have decided to investigate this – in the traditional list format favoured upon this day and by women's magazines when dealing with such tricky subjects. We know this much – it's certainly not a case of just talking to them. Get ready, prepare yourself for becoming irresistible... Don't Delude yourself - Ally Yourself
One of the things we talk a lot about here at Squeamish – both in our writing and when we're in the pub, sorry, editorial meetings – is what feminism means to us now and what it has meant. How we've evolved, changed, what we've learned.
I've called myself a feminist pretty much as long as I can remember – it was certainly one of the labels I applied to myself by the time I started secondary school at 11, and was a central part of my identity as a teen. My A-level English teacher (probably, I realise now, as much out of boredom as anything) would even make slightly provocative statements about gender and then look at me, knowing I would always take the bait and argue back. Squeamish Louise writes... J'accuse rape culture
Some weeks are more trying than others. Some weeks are more trigger-laden than others. But I can guarantee you that – due to the rule of it's all relative! – every week holds triggers for someone. This week figures regarding false rape allegations have been released by the Crown Prosecution Service and it seems reporting and interpreting numbers is hard.
Look, I find numbers hard, but I took my maths GCSE a (probably) record amount of times. You've seen Elf right? You know that scene with Will Ferrell in elf class being too big for this elfin desk? That was me. Only I was the oldest in the class – not the biggest (in fact I was the smallest and so my desk, like my school trousers, overwhelmed me. I probably would have ACED elf class. But that's enough Squeamish Kate trivia for one day). However I can usually work out which number is the larger and therefore more concerning/bigger piece of the cake. Squeamish Kate writes... Feyning Feminism
When people call out your heroes it's natural for your first reaction to be all: 'nu-uh' and in denial over whatever criticism has been made. I like to think I don't have role models as such but I definitely have people who – were I into such things – would feature in my decoupage projects and I'd like my career to mimic theirs.
With her background in improvisation comedy, quick wit and stubborn brow Tina Fey is one of the people with the potential to have her image glued to my light switch. I know, quite the honour. I have her autobiography Bossypants on audiobook (I'm very busy, I have to lie down and be read to nowadays) and spend many a moment laughing at the same joke I have heard before. Such is my high tolerance for Fey. Squeamish Kate writes... Doin' it for the Girls
There's a right way and a wrong way to break down race and gender barriers in motorsport.
The right way is to go out there, be faster than everyone else, and impress with your talents. The wrong way is to give a bunch of interviews about your ground-breaking NASCAR career when you haven't qualified for the sort of licence that would allow you to compete in the series. It was International Women's Day on Friday. By rights, I should have been celebrating the achievements of women in motorsport. And no sniggering at the back - anyone who knows their motorsport knows that there are achievements aplenty to celebrate. F1Kate writes... Friday 5... Wizard of Oz Creations
It's finally time. UK, Mila Kunis and James Franco were in you. This was because the Disney film Oz The Great and Powerful has premièred in the UK this week. Reviews have been a little disappointing, BBC Radio 4's Front Row complained that the magic of MGM's The Wizard of Oz is missing from the film in spite of borrowing ideas such as keeping Kansas in black and white film and Oz in colour. Squeamish Kate mentioned the witches of Oz had been given a make over so radical and so removed from the original version even Snog Marry Avoid would be shocked. Though no beanie hats featured in the film. The original author of the Wizard of Oz L. Frank Baum was an interesting character himself and a suffragist to boot (not not). There are various themes of matriarchy (apparently the Nome King thinks his eggs are poison because of they are a symbol of matriarchy) throughout the 13 books Baum wrote. We thought we would look back over the Land of Oz creations do Baum the honour of deciding which ones were our favourites.
Sexing the Funny
Inspired by Squeamish Kate’s post on how to get more women in comedy, I wrote down my personal grapple with being a funny lady.
Trigger Warning: This is a post about women and being funny and humour, of sorts. But it is not a post about why women are funny, how the comedy circuit is fiercely misogynistic, or an attempt to discredit people who think vagina-wielding-joke-tellers aren’t funny. It’s not even me waving my figurative cock around, trying to prove how funny I am and thus making my case for all of the above. I have no interest in that argument. I think it’s the cultural equivalent of the alien conspiracy. You have one side waiting agitatedly with radios and telescopes, screaming like banshees every time a crop circle appears. Then you have the other side, closing their eyes and putting their fingers in their ears - the whole time scoffing at the other lot because they wear anoraks and play with metal detectors. What we should really be doing - assuming that, as women who are funny, we’re the anorak donning evangelists - is sitting back, opening a beer, turning the radios off and quietly waiting for the day that the non-believers stumble across a crop circle of their own accord and let it freak them the fuck out. Becky Shepherd writes... How to get Women on the List
I have never been able to quite make my mind up about positive discrimination or women only short lists. Obviously, obviously, what I want is for people to get jobs or rise to the forefront of politics or entertainment (are those two interchangeable? I fear so) on merit alone rather than because they are on the right side of general popular prejudices. But it seems difficult to smash such mindsets without force and, well, women only short lists. Squeamish Kate writes...
House of Wife: Why we return to the 1950s
A while ago I saw a documentary (though the term is used loosely in this context) about women who don't just dress in vintage clothing but extend their vintage lifestyle beyond the wardrobe. Time Warp Wives followed the lives of a couple who tried to live as much in the 1930s as possible (though cheated with the odd concealed electric appliance in the kitchen) when not at work and a young woman who liked to dress in a 1940s style and eat at the table the ol' fashioned way. There was one woman who had entrenched herself so much in the 1950s lifestyle she confessed to not knowing Tony Blair was no longer Prime Minister. Squeamish Kate writes...
Feminist Freeze Out
Considering it is one of the most common criticisms of feminism it is peculiar feminists spend so little time meditating upon it. It is perhaps due to hearing it alongside the very common 'middle class white men have problems too' also known in online feminist circles as the 'what about teh menz?' argument. When you spend so much time explaining where and how a set of people are missing the point, it is hard to see where you and/or your movement misses the point.
Feminism is excluding people. Feminism is being told. Feminism is not listening. Feminism is (unintentionally I'd like to think) taking on a few other 'isms' and 'antis' that means it will never be a truly liberating movement until it drops them. I'm talking about classism, racism, anti-trans, anti-sex worker. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...female film characters
It's not looking great for women in film is it? Well, they are looking great, we're not going to dispute that. But we're not feeling too happy about how the film industry is portraying women - either on or off screen.
It made us wonder, who are the female characters who really stood out to the Squeamish team? Naming them has been harder than we thought it would be. The Bechdel test might have been around for a while, but it is often sadly overlooked and certainly hasn't rocked the industry as you might have anticipated (not really, but wouldn't it be nice if stuff like that made a dent?). And even if women talk to each other about something that isn't men, does a heated discussion about shoes make for a rounded character? Depends what kind of shoes we suppose. We thought long and hard about the screen presences who have remained with us... Gimme Tim Minchin Shelter
About 5 years ago a friend (a member of the Squeamish team in fact) asked me if I had heard of Tim Minchin, and made me watch his live DVD when I said I only vaguely recognised the name. 'He's amazing, I want to run off with him and have his babies' is a massively approximated, family-friendly version of what she said to me as she pressed play. Halfway through the disc, after making her press pause so that I could stop laughing long enough to catch my breath and wipe the tears off my face, I turned to her to insist that she had to share. We could both run off with him, deal? Squeamish Louise fangirls...
The Buts & the Geez Education
Because we are (mostly) wimmin at Squeamish we follow BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour on Twitter (you can follow us here! Or, while we're shamelessly self-promoting, like us here). Balanced as it is we often see the Woman's Hour Twitter account juggle new trends such as wearing neon with matters such as age, equality and the how to cook the perfect lasagne.
Today they are asking if parents are leaving too much to schools when it comes to sex education. A look at a certain paper and it looks a lot like the answer is yes. Or rather it would be preferable for neither teachers nor parents to broach the subject of, you know, you know. The birds and the bees. It is, apparently, a parent's right to ignore any signs of their child's burgeoning sexuality and a breach of this right for anyone else to keep the kids informed. Squeamish Kate writes... An Academy Reminder: You are what you win
The news is full of horse meat (literal and figurative), sexual abuse and economic uncertainty. So it's no wonder we've all seized the opportunity to go, 'Yay! Oscars time again! As always, a wild and unpredictable ride of cringeworthy 'jokes', rehearsed 'loser faces'/'omigoodness-I-won!' faces and cronyistic voting patterns.
The Oscar ceremony itself is a depressing annual reminder that in the eyes of the gathered media the female stars are less important than the shape of their body and the fabrics they choose to drape across it to walk along a piece of red fabric. Or rather - pour their curves into in order to flaunt on the red carpet. Squeamish Louise writes... Clegg Relations
Marriage guidance counsellors Relate is launching a report in conjunction with the Men's Health Forum that states men are usually in the dark about relationship difficulties. Meaning they are unprepared and can lead to worse outcomes for them when or if the relationship ends.
Apparently men tend to only “seek help when the ship is sinking” and Relate believes a different approach for men in relationship difficulties may be more effective. In an interview on the Today programme Relate's chief executive Ruth Sutherland noted that men are less likely to discuss problems in their relationship with friends or work colleagues or use their “support networks.” According to Sutherland the failure of a relationship is “just so much more devastating for men than it is for women” and there are “much higher rates of suicide and alcohol use” among men who experience a failed relationship. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Character Makeovers
Hey! Hey you! Ever read Anne of Green Gables? If you didn't then TOTAL SPOILER ALERT but remember when Anne's adoptive parents, Marilla and Matthew Cuthber think they have a boy winging its way to them but instead get little orphan Anne? They decided to make do with that little plot change in their fictional lives. Anne Shirley wins everyone over with her imagination and talkativeness. Everybody, eventually, wins in spite of the original disappointment over the orphan boy order.
So perhaps we need to calm down over the recent Amazon CreateSpace platform's decision to interpret Montgomery's description of Anne as “She wore a faded brown sailor hat and beneath the hat, extending down her back, were two braids of very thick, decidedly red hair” as a young woman with tumbling blonde locks. BUT GUYS, is that really such a pivotal part of the plot? Anne might be quite happy considering she believed that: “Red hair is my life long sorrow.” Problem SOLVED Anne. After we made our peace with the situation (not really, one of us is very cross – guess which one) just like Marilla and Matthew we wondered what we might change about some book covers to make them more aesthetically pleasing... Educating Sue: Mistletoe & Whine
After then Christmas break Sue's back, battling 50 Shades of Grey parodies that don't live up to their horticulture promise and recording machines. At least she's got the tranquillity of the university library to seek solace in. Or does she?
Happy New Year one and all. Somewhat late I realise (it will be Easter soon), but nonetheless sincere. I am up to my neck in assessments and class essays, and so have slipped rather with my Squeamish entries. Anyway, a brief recap … during the Christmas break, to get into the Christmas Spirit, my pal Fern and I decided to meet in town to visit the Christmas market. Squeamish Sue writes... Call the Beeb
It's Lent. In spite of attending Catholic schools, which seem to be quite hot on it, since the age of 7 I have never done anything for Lent. My own Baptist church never seemed to get too het up about it either. So it wasn't until last year I acknowledged and did something for the 40 days run up to the Easter weekend.
What did I do? I helped start up the Brighton Feminist Collective's project 40 Days of Treats, a counter action to 40 Days for Life prayer vigils. Inspired by a project going on elsewhere in the country, we decided we wanted to do something similarly supportive that wouldn't cause a ruckus. It involved the collective delivered flowers, cakes and cards to the staff at our local Bpas clinic to show our appreciation as the 40 Days of Prayer and Abort 67 protested outside. It was peaceful. Apart from the time I started a ruckus. Well, I didn't start it. I and a plastic foetus were somehow at the centre of a tiny ruckus. A ruckuslette, if you will, as I delivered cake. Squeamish Kate writes... Get Cuties, Cameron
You know it, I know it, Annie Lennox knows it: 'Behind every great man there had to be a great woman.' So it should come as no surprise that David Cameron would like to get in on this act and tell us his wife Samantha Cameron has been taking time out from London Fashion Week to inform him he needs more women in his cabinet.
Speaking at Unilever's headquarters in Mumbai in response to the question of Britain having anything to teach India about opening up opportunities to women. “If you look at politics in Britain, there aren't nearly enough women around the Cabinet table.” Cameron conjured up the image of he and Sam in the marital bed.Morcambe and Wise style. Sam looking up from her iPad and saying: 'Babe,* I think you need more girlies on the cab' and David nodding in acknowledgement saying: 'Babe, I might tweet that. Night.' Squeamish Kate writes... Beer: A Pint-Sized Review
When my friend suggested we go to a beer tasting, I had a little condescending chuckle but said 'Why not?' This cheeky chuckle was actually an insult to beer. I understood the concept of a wine tasting, I've been on wine tasting courses. People talking about the subtle nuances of this flavour and that nose as they snorted and sipped a full bodied Bordeaux. But beer? I like mine cold, pint sized and sometimes, when I am feeling prosperous, Guinness flavoured. I didn’t think it warranted any further exploration but as I liked it so much I thought it might be fun to taste one that wasn’t cheapy Fosters.
On a very soggy and windy Sunday afternoon we headed to Hoxton in search of the pub hosting The Craft Beer Social Club tasting. Easily found, we resisted temptation and didn’t order a pint there and then. We decided not to taint our palates; we were giving ourselves wholeheartedly to this new beer experience! Squeamish Nicola writes... Friday 5...Deal Breakers
We like to think we are pretty open minded over here at Squeamish Bikini HQ. You know, tolerant. We are fond of the notion that we could never be described as shallow souls, because we are generous with our time and like to give all creatures great and small a goodly chance. HOWEVER, we have lines people, and with Valentine's Day themes and anecdotes still ringing in our ears we started to wonder what our date deal breakers were. Was it something physical? Or a political stance or attitude? What do we find totally irredeemable in a potential love interest that we simply cannot overlook? What would actually make us walk away? Here are our deal breakers...
All The Single Ladies
“Oh no not I, I will survive. For as long as I know how to breathe I know I’ll stay alive.” A Disco Queen, The Seventies.
“I have never had an impulse to go to the altar. I am a difficult person to lead.” Greta Garbo. WARNING: These words have been uttered by a woman who, two days ago, received a pity Valentine's card from her dad. The annual pity Valentine's card she receives from her dad. But this year, there was another card. One she didn't get every year. She tore into it eagerly. Hopeful. It was another pity valentine's card from her dad, impersonating the cat. Becky Shepherd writes... Exposing the sexism on the pages
A while ago, after much unexpected publicity and celebrity endorsement from Jennifer Saunders, Lauren Laverne and Graham Lineham among others, the campaign urging Dominic Mohan and Rupert Murdoch to Take the Bare Boobs Out of The Sun seems to be reaching a conclusion.
Tweeting as @Kazipooh, No More Page 3 supporter Karen Mason sent an @ message to Rupert Murdoch. “Seriously, we are all so over page 3 – it is so last century! #nomorepage3.” To which Murdoch tweeted back: “You maybe [sic] right, don't know but considering. Perhaps halfway house with glamorous fashionistas.” Squeamish Kate writes... A Papal Upstaging
Yesterday just as the world was warming up to discuss Katy Perry’s
flouting of the CBS Grammys dress code someone else with a flamboyant
uniform came and stole her thunder. So much for Katy’s choice to ignore broadcaster CBS’s dress code,
warning attendees at the Grammy awards to dress modestly for the
camera. CBS specified the problematic costumes as: 'Thong type' and
urging that the 'genital region' and buttocks be 'adequately covered'.
'Bare fleshy undercurves' and 'buttock crack' exposure was deemed
unacceptable by CBS, as were breasts and nipples.
Perry’s mass of cleavage (she went with cleavage instead of bare fleshy undercurves) was overshadowed when the current Pope, Pope Benedict XVI announced what many people thought was impossible – his resignation. It is not the first time a pope has resigned as we now all know from that quick Google on your smart phone. Squeamish Kate writes... Crime & Regret
(Trigger Warning) The clue is probably in the ill-designed police campaigns. You know the ones. They usually go up in bus shelters and on public transport on the run up to the Christmas season. A blurry, out of focus image of a woman, who you can tell is sad and/or drunk because she’s slumped over.
It’s a message about rape. Or, depending on your local police’s choice of definition, ‘regretful sex’ -oh, semantics! The campaigns are aimed at women, because when a woman is raped there are only 2 people to blame. Her or the girl friend who did not look after her, like a good friend should. It would seem these are the people who should stand trial. It would seem that these are the people who do. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Odd Couples
Odd Couples, they’re odd aren’t they. There seems to be a rise in PR paparazzi-optimization engineered odd couples. WE MEAN A LOT OF CELEBRITIES HAPPEN TO MEET AND UNEXPECTEDLY FALL IN LOVE and that’s lovely. Odd couples can cause rather a commotion, ‘have you heard about so and so and doodah?’ We ask each other, ‘isn’t it an odd pairing?’ They make for great tittle-tattle - until of course you get used to them, then when they split up we get all sentimental and unable to imagine them with anyone else. Great novels, major motion pictures and long-running sitcoms all rely on the odd couple. Whether platonic or romantic, we love an odd couple. Whether divided by age, height or language it seems you can’t keep love or friendship from creating some marvellously odd couples, the latest odd coupling we feverishly hope is deadly sincere is the union of Harry Styles and Alain de Botton. But what makes the ultimate odd couple? The Squeamish team have shared their favourites…
Why We Launder Our Past
There has always been a fondness for looking back with rose-tinted spectacles. The Victorians revered the valour of medieval knights and their chaste, patient maidens. In turn, the Victorians are occasionally remarked upon for their high values. The 1950s is occasionally referred to in rather glorious terms when everyone was polite and front doors went unlocked.
This is, of course, never the full story. Else Call the Midwife would be considered a documentary of the golden age of solving any difficulties with an It’ll All Come Right in the End ethos in the 1950s. Which never happened. As far as I can tell anyway. Wayward Sister Monica Joan seems to have the most balanced view out of the whole cast with her mystical quotes and mysteriously insightful comments. Squeamish Kate writes... Us vs Them Heroes
Heroism is fucked up. But what is the alternative?
In this concluding part to my argument against heroism I’m going to describe two approaches which do not work, although they both have useful lessons for us, before offering a third way out of our present dilemma. This isn’t new material, all of these arguments can be found out there in literature on feminism, critical race theory, queer theory, black feminism, privilege theory and activism research. I do however think that we are very good at recognising what we should not be doing, but the effort and strength required to move forwards is challenging so much of critical, radical and progressive politics and action gets lost in constant critique of one another. Glen writes... How Tolerant Porn is Changing Attitudes
Porn. It’s the big subject Western feminists have, depending on your stance, the luxury to bicker over or the calling to destroy all forms of it. Recently there has been a lot of concern that young people’s first exposure to sex is porn, which they use in lieu of proper sex education at school or from their parents. It’s possible this causes huge misunderstanding about bodies and creates…expectations. It’s been blamed for sexting (I blame phones) among teens and causing greater anxiety over body issues. Many people find it just plain offensive.
Maybe we would all like some good porn related news. Yeah? Yeah. According to a study at Indiana University watching porn (any porn) makes heterosexual men more tolerant of the idea of equal marriage. If you don’t think that is good news, perhaps you should go watch a little porn. Right now. You’re online, it’s pretty hard to avoid. I’ll wait. Squeamish Kate writes... Here's why we need Opinion Barbie
On Saturday I went to a fifties night (under the impression it was a skiffle night, which was fine, I’m not clear on what it is, but it meant I didn’t get to say skiffle nearly as much as I’d originally anticipated. Skiffle!). Yesterday I stubbed my toe rushing to turn my radio to switch it on as the man who lives in the flat below started playing The Commodores Easy (Like Sunday Morning) for the billionth time. My radio is tuned to Radio 4 and The Archers was on and I, uh, didn’t mind. I keep ranting to people about how annoyed I get when the word ‘purposely’ is used when the word ‘deliberately’ is meant. I am not down with the kids.
Perhaps you were aware of that. There is just a certain point in your 20s when, as you explain something about GCSEs with your Young Person understanding , you realise actually that was a while ago and you have no idea what the pokemon you’re talking about. When I was at school there was no Facebook and texting was strictly textual. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...'90s Soundtrack
As our latest Squeamish addition Becky Shepherd has observed the new E4 show My Fat, Mad Diary is worthy of being our new favourite thing on TV. Rae Earl keeps our inner teen alive and, set in 1996, the show comes with a massive dose of nostalgia for those who also navigated the ‘90s and their teens simultaneously. A mean feat considering the ‘90s was a decade that regularly seemed to lose its way style-wise. In recovery from the 1980s we knew we wanted rid of shoulder pads - but how? We didn’t have time to talk about flattering waist lines until 1997 and then were so delighted with hipsters (when the word referred to trousers) (GUYS REMEMBER HIPSTERS?) we took it too far and met the New Millennium with thongs on show. The My Fat, Mad Diary wardrobe is not going to send anyone straight down Miss Selfridge, but the soundtrack? Were this truly the ‘90s we’d all be trundling off to Woolies to rifle through the bargain cassette bin. Rae Earl’s got Oasis, Beastie Boys and Mark Morrison in her ‘90s soundtrack but what would be on ours?
How to get out of Misogedy
Jenni Murray would have me quaking in my boots and I haven’t done anything. Or rather, I don’t think I have, not against women. My raison d’être is women’s rights Jenni, you can’t be mad. However, for all those coming up against the Woman’s Hour presenter I think they leave with a personal resolution to really think about what they have done.
Had I stood up in front of a group of people and recorded myself telling a hideously misogynist joke about burying my girlfriend alive, then made that footage available to the public. Well, if I was the type to equate balls with braveness I’d say the guy who came out as a misogynist comedian on Woman’s Hour yesterday morning must regularly use a wheelbarrow to cart his cojones about town. I’m serious, this guy might be the first guy to have a legitimate reason to take that entire seat on the bus with leg spread (kidding, INEXCUSABLE). Squeamish Kate writes... Heroes and Villains
Last week I spent some time talking about the more obvious forms of heroism, but don’t think that I’m going to stop there. I think this myth and obsession with being heroes, with being the stars of our own little novel, is seriously fucked up.
This week I’m drifting a little closer to home and going to talk about activists and privilege. This is, hopefully, going to be harder to read then my initial rant against the military and the oppressions of capitalism, I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard that argument before. Now it’s your turn. And my turn, incidentally, because I am as guilty of this as anyone else, and it is damaging to both me and the work that I might be trying to do. Glen writes... I want to be a Seahorse
TRIGGER WARNING. When I grow up, I want to be a seahorse. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a superhuman combination of mother, doctor, and astronaut; now, I just want to be a seahorse. It might seem irrational to you, but I do have logic on my side. Being a woman is hard; being a girl was hard too, but it's harder now that I'm an adult.
The main reason I want to be a seahorse is because (if you'll indulge my use of colloquial language) Mrs Seahorse lays her eggs in Mr Seahorse's belly and leaves him to do the heavy heaving. Yes, if you see a seahorse spewing a stream of baby seahorses out its belly button, that's Mr Seahorse, not Mrs. This would save me the weeks when Mordor invades my knickers; as an added bonus, my uterus wouldn't regularly (or not so regularly, as the case may be) graffiti my best date-night knickers with stuff that Vanish won't clean. Bridget Schuil writes... The OTher Austen Girl
“Romance isn’t dead. It’s just fucking boring.” - Unknown Woman on Bus, day after New Year's Day 2013
Man presenting a documentary on nineteenth century fiction, in twenty-first century voice: Women are romantic, aren’t they? You can be a hard, poe-faced old hag but it’s just a farce. You can reiterate it all over, and over, and over again. How much you don't care about Valentine's day. Your biological clock is anticlockwise. You're allergic to chocolates. Blah blah. We all know the truth. We know you go home, you lock the front door, you light some scented candles, you put your Grey's Anatomy on and you gets to it. The romancing. Doctor McBag-o-Buff is telling a lady doctor that he's into her and you just swoon, don't you? A generous dab of rouge, roses, a playlist that’s 95% Snow Patrol. It’s all there, hidden in amongst your non-romantic 'interests', like crime fiction and David Attenborough. But that girly shit is ready to lull your aching heart and untapped loins when needs be. Becky Shepherd writes... Friday 5...Fictional Feats
Today is the 123rd anniversary of Nellie Bly’s triumphant return from her attempt to recreate Phileas Fogg’s journey in Jules Verne’s book Around the World in 80 Days. We realise Nellie Bly achieved many things impressive even now, but more so considering she did them in the late 19th and early 20th century. Bly argued her way into a job at The Pittsburgh Dispatch paper after its editor mistook her letter of rebuttal to a particularly misogynist piece in the paper as the work of a man and offered ‘him’ a post. At 21 she was working as a foreign correspondent from Mexico and went on to the famous (ethically questionable) asylum expose, where she posed as a patient. Our favourite achievement of Bly’s that we’re taking our Friday 5 theme from today is her beating of Fogg’s (fictional) time – she made it round the globe in Seventy-two days, six hours, eleven minutes and fourteen seconds. This week we list fictional feats we’d like to have a go at…
Growing up Girl
Whatever gender you are growing up isn't easy. Worst of all it doesn't stop. You just suddenly realise the grown-ups you are referring to are your peers and wonder how they managed to work it all out before you did. Only of course they haven’t. We continue to make mistakes and then either take full responsibility for them or apologise. Every day there’s a small discovery to be made.
Perhaps, like Australian parenting guru Steve Biddulph you will discover how to bring up girls. Biddulph’s latest book Parenting Girls has been received by the BBC’s Woman’s Hour and theTelegraph with a gusto that suggests girls have been roaming our homes and streets, feral. Sexting boys with abandon and marking their territory with fake tan prints. Squeamish Kate writes... Everyday Heroes
“A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it” President Bartlett, West Wing S2 ep1 ‘Isaac and Ishmael’ 2001
“Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain” Japanese proverb used in The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan Our definition of heroism is fucked up. Putting yourself in immediate physical danger is hard. I get that. And I am not indifferent to the fact that there are times when we might be required to fight for the things we value; for our families, our friends, and our freedoms. Or even for other people; defending one another even if doing so put ourselves in danger. These things are occasionally necessary. Glen writes... Ugly Behaviour
Mary Beard has been pulled up on this subject before. When the BBC went out on a limb and aired her series of documentaries Meet the Romans many people, specifically AA Gill took great offence that Auntie hadn't gone down the traditional Academic Sexpot documentary host route. No heaving bosom over any artefacts in Meet the Romans, no sir. Just Mary Beard in a red coat (so she would stand out in crowd scenes on camera) laughing at all the little in-jokes the Romans had left behind in Latin for her to find. Squeamish Kate writes...
The Torso on the Beach
I know this guy. I call him Video Games. He’s always been a good friend to me.
"Hey, let's go machine-gun a tank to pieces!" he says, when I'm bored. "God, you're just so heroic!" he tells me, as I take down the Capra Demon in a flurry of sword-swipes. "How about we go crash a Porsche into a wall?" he asks, after a shitty day at work. And then sometimes he loudly and messily shits himself, in public, and makes me look like a complete asshole for ever hanging out with him. Pete writes... Friday 5...Classics We've Never Read
Ah the classics. Dickens, Austen, the Brontës, Dostoevsky... we know them well. Well...we know of them. Look we know what you're talking about when you bring them up. Maybe you haven't read them either, although when people confess to a hole in their Dickens it is usually coupled with the great expectation everybody present is familiar with his oeuvre. It's quite possible many first year English Literature students fear having to fake sage nodding as people quote from the classics: “well you know what they say...'You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope...I have loved none but you.'” “Tru dat.”
It is only by second year you realise A) nobody's read anything on the humanities reading list, outside of coincidence and B) people rarely demand you cite author, title and year of publication outside easily googleable environments. This is, of course, no excuse. Here are the classics we have missed out on, feel free to scold us and give us your classic recommendations, what larks we'll have... Feminist Issue Underwear
“The feminist movement never did and never will run smoothly” observed Hadley Freeman in the Guardian yesterday, having mentioned the troublesome Betty Friedan's book The Feminine Mystique and it's 50th anniversary. Friedan's homophobia and desire to be top feminist dog hampered the Friedan era brand of feminism. Fortunately we're over all that as we ride the 3rd wave, aren't we?
HAH! Fooled you. We're still arguing, or exploring our feminism as I like to call it. Freeman has a problem with how gazillionaire Beyoncé presented herself on a GQ shoot. In tiny pants and fast unravelling top! Now, considering what's happened in the past week in feminism thanks to the same media group concerning transgender issues and transphobia, doesn't the question of hotpants or what side of your boobs you air in a magazine (and you can't not air your boobs in a magazine) seem a tad nitpicky? Squeamish Kate writes Door Shuts on Chivalry
According to a recent survey women are suspicious of chivalrous acts. This has been interpreted as indicative of the decline in good manners. The Daily Mail agrees: “Traditional acts of chivalry once thought to be polite and noble are frowned upon in the 21st century because they are so rare.” But are good manners, chivalry, respect and etiquette interchangeable words or actions? I don't think so.
The survey reports that 82% of women prefer to pay for their own dinner on the first date and 52% would pay to bill. Of the women surveyed 89% would turn down any offer to help carry their heavy shopping bags and 78% of women would not accept the husband or boyfriend's coat on a cold day. Squeamish Kate writes... E4 in Accurate Teen Portrayal Shocker
Last night, I wept. I wept in relief, in elation, in shock. I wept as I inhaled bourbon biscuits and sloshed red wine all over my dressing gown. I wept to a soundtrack of Madchester and wondered how on earth I’d reached my mid twenties and lived so ignorantly content, having never felt this kind of connection before. When most people recount the moment they fell in love, they speak of eyes meeting across a crowded room. Of lingering stares. All that shit. I’m about to tell you how I fell in love. Because last night, yes I wept. I wept because I’ve met my soul mate. Her name is Rachael Earl. And she lives in my TV. Becky Shepherd writes...
Leia Off the Princess
If you hang around the same bits of the internet as me you can't help but have heard that Dark Horse have rebooted their Star Wars comic book and begun a new series starting right after the first Star Wars film (that's A New Hope, not any of those prequel nonsense).
Star Wars #1, as they've somewhat uninspiringly called it, has caused somewhat of a meltdown on the internet and not for the usual reasons - you know, someone having the wrong colour light saber or contradicting a minor plot point from a largely forgotten Expanded Universe book. No, this is far far worse. They've made Leia an X-wing pilot. Not just that – a crack-shot ace who leads her own squadron of fighters during undercover missions. How dare they! A woman flying a space ship? What a ridiculous concept! I mean WW2 era dog fights in space (complete with sound in the vacuum of space) is perfectly believable; but a woman flying? Never! Anyway how would she fit a helmet over those hair buns? Gareth writes... Friday 5...Celebrity Adverts
In this modern life there are two things we just can't decide on. They unite us and divide us and we just can't make it clear whether we love them or hate them. Is this Marmite based? No, friend, it is adverts and celebrities. There are some celebrities we like and there are some we do not. There are some adverts we like and some we do not. Since the dawn of time/advertising celebrities have been happy to shill products, to be bedfellows with the advertising business. Sometimes in spite of the big fat cheque (or, come on, it's 2013! PayPal payment transfer) you know has seduced the celebrity in to this advert, you can't help but wonder if they aren't getting rather a raw deal. Poor Scarlett Johansson for example, unflatteringly trussed up with the hair of Rich Old Lady #2 in a CSI plot in a misguided bid to echo Anita Ekberg (one assumes) in La Dolce Vita in a D&G ad. Admit it, you had no idea how hard it was to wear black lace until you saw that advert. Plenty of other celebrities have fallen foul of the ad treatment too, here are our picks of celebrity adverts...
Relax, don't do it! Or do
Sex sex sex. It's everywhere isn't it? It's all we can talk about. Whether it's office workers reading 50 Shades of Grey on their commute or teenagers getting banged in foreign climes while smashed out of their brains on cheap alcopops. Everyone's either doing it or, more to the point, talking about it.
This definitely didn't happen in the good old days. Say 20 years ago. Or 90 years ago. Or 2,000 years ago. Nah, people used to hate talking about sex. Squeamish Louise writes... Wombinating on Pregnancy Questions
Can we talk about babies, for a second please? Baby, baby, baby, baby. Queen Victoria didn't think much of them. In fact she didn't always like them at all – her own or other people's. She thought they looked like frogs and it wasn't until they reached toddlerhood she found them palatable. Which is not to say she ate her young. Necessarily. But it is to say not all women are baby crazy. Or baby enamoured. Or baby bothered. And that's just fine. Especially if, unlike Queen Victoria, they choose contraception and a baby free life. Or a baby free life once they've popped out and heir and a spare. We all have our duties to our country.
The point is it shouldn't be of interest to anybody but a woman and her fast shrivelling ovaries. If she has a partner then it also becomes their business. A woman, whether in the public eye or not, does not owe the general public or media any kind of womb-watch or fertility status updates. Squeamish Kate writes... A Barbie in Sindy's CLothing
Sindy is due to celebrate her 50th birthday this year, and her creators are staging a comeback. Like many icons who reach their twilight years, she wants to look her best and so she’s had some work done. No biggie. Barbie’s been doing it for years.
But we’ve always felt that Sindy was more sensible. She had too much dignity to go under the knife. At 50 I assumed she’d look like my GCSE Art teacher, not Sharon Stone. Is the nice girl image that Sindy’s been lugging around in her matronly pockets all these years a fair one? Is she really any more feminist than Barbie? Becky Shepherd writes... The BEll Jar at 50
Sylvia Plath's only novel The Bell Jar turns 50 this year and it's still overshadowed by the links – real or inferred – to her own life, and suicide shortly after it was published in the UK.
It's an intense, personal book and so it seems fitting that I vividly remember not only when I first read it, but what I brought to it in terms of expectations and background knowledge. My GCSE English teacher was obsessed with Ted Hughes, who was Plath's husband at the time of The Bell Jar and her suicide. Hughes was on our syllabus, but she probably managed to spend a lot more classroom time on him and his work than was strictly intended. And she talked a lot about his personal life – his marriage to Plath and the fact that some people (unfairly, in her view) blamed him for her suicide. Squeamish Louise writes... Friday 5...Twitter Stereotypes
HEY GUYS IT'S FRIDAY AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS...#FF! #FF for ALL! That's hash-tag Friday Five, obviously. Why what did you think it stood for? Twitter has now been around so long that it has its own slang that people no longer save just for the social networking site. It's acceptable (or believed to be acceptable – in some circles) to say 'hash-tag' OUT LOUD when discussing awkward subjects. Chats have become a lot more staccato now people restrict themselves to 140 characters and subjects are restricted to which member of One Direction is trending (Harry, it's always Harry). Enough time has gone by for most people convinced to open a Twitter account a few years ago not only to work out what micro-blogging is all about but to fall into certain Twitter types. Are you a lurker? An Compulsive Tweeter or self-congratulatory Rter? As long as you don't fall into the David Cameron Twitter trap we're sure you're fine. Here are our Twitter Types...
Les Misera-belles
Because she's famous and because she has a film coming out Anne Hathaway has been carted out a lot in the press lately. I have been aware of Hathaway but other than seeing The Devil Wears Prada and her hilarious Sisters song on Saturday Night Live I can't say I have ever really paid much attention to her. I was made very aware of her extreme diet in order to play the emaciated Fantine in Les Miserables thanks to various media outlets and I was given no reason to believe (post Vati-Con scandal) that was not the most interesting thing about her.
Hathaway didn't really talk about her weight loss because it was done in order to emulate a starving woman driven to sex work in revolutionary France. YAWN. There were only so many articles to squeeze out regarding her cropped hair (her character sells her hair and teeth), what to do, what to do? Squeamish Kate writes... Weighting for change
(ED TRIGGER WARNING) Sisterhood. Being a feminist I am all for sisterhood. I am all for the magazine industry thinking up some new ideas at the beginning of each new year instead of cracking out the diet plan filing cabinet and doing some sort of lucky dip of New Year – New You articles. I would prefer if, on declining a biscuit, I was not automatically accused of being on a diet. Because I am a woman and it is January so naturally I must be on some kind of diet, or a detox.
Dieting has always seemed something rather ridiculous to my mind. I think it is because I associate it with svelte teenage girls at school announcing they were going on a diet because they were 'so fat'. This is not an interesting conversation jump off point to me, but then nobody spoke to me at school so who am I to say what's an interesting topic? Squeamish Kate writes... Man Party
Girls, girls, girls, will you just calm yourselves. Stop this power grab and man stomping at once I tell you. Feminism, sorry “militant feminism” is bad for us all and something must be done: “Here at the headquarters of the Anti-Feminism League we’ve always recognised that feminism can’t be defeated as an ideology, the most we can hope to do is to thwart its manifestations on an issue-by-issue basis.” Yes, you might have thought this had been covered by, y'know, The Government but no. So men and a Mr Mike Buchanan are taking things into their own hands and starting a political party. Man Party. Squeamish Kate writes...
A Moment of Silence
On this last Squeamish Bikini post of 2012 it's definitely worth noting this was the year the word 'intersectional' was brought to the attention of many feminists. I know a lot of feminists have probably started to form a twitch every time they see the words 'intersectional' or 'privilege' on Twitter. I know some feminists have despaired and branded much of this year's feminist discussion in-fighting.
I am sure there has been some in-fighting this year, in playgrounds, boardrooms and social networking. But I don't believe calling a person who would like to identify as an ally out for ill used language, for instance, is in-fighting. Can it really be such a terrible power sap to listen to minorities? Frankly if I ever find myself part of a movement that doesn't question itself, that isn't striving for constant development or evolution then I want out. Immediately. Trigger Warning. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 4...2012 moments
Ah, 2012, the year that brought us triumph, scandal and the London Olympics. Which the SB team managed successfully to ignore. Apart from the Boris Johnson trapped on a zip wire bit. For the Olympic zip wire event. Even we allowed ourselves a glimpse of that Olympic glory.
And now 2012 must come to a close in the same awkward fashion of all years. That bit 'twixt Christmas and New Year. When there are still Christmas films showing all day on TV and leftover chocolates and turkey (or whatever you eat come Christmas), but the cheer's slightly gone out of it all. The tree is drooping and many of us had to exchange the twinkling fairy light glow for harsh flickering strip lights at work. Where we realised it is frowned upon to take naps in the afternoon, naps that have very quickly become part of your routine over Christmas and Boxing Day. So instead of living in the present, or planning New Year's Eve (always a slight disaster) we reflect on our favourite moments of 2012... Doctor Who Melts Hearts
There's one Christmas activity that families across the land can all agree on, regardless of age or religious beliefs, and that's watching the latest Christmas episode of Doctor Who.
This year's was a cracker (pun, as always, intended). Sure the pacing was off, Richard E. Grant and Sir Ian Mckellen were hideously underused and some of the CGI wasn't as good as it could have been. But it was a magical fairytale of an adventure, featuring a new monster that will terrify children for years to come and the return of a little-remembered classic series villain. The Great Intelligence, a disembodied Elder God who, to the best of my recollection last featured in a Patrick Troughton story where it tried taking over the London Underground - making this a prequel to that story. Best of all the new credits feature the Doctor's face, the lack of which has disappointed me since the 2005 revival. Gareth writes... Merry Christmas from Squeamish BIkiniWe'll be back on the 27th December
Friday 5...Christmas songs
We have mentioned before how we all feel differently about Christmas on Squeamish Bikini, but whatever our attitude can we resist a Christmas tune? Before the tinsel festoons the shops, before the supermarkets trundle out the adverts and stockpiling goose fat, before the shopping centre elves have their outfits sized up, you hear the Christmas music. You might feel a wave of panic, you might feel excitement or dread but goshdarnit you also immediately think 'I hope they play [INSERT FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG HERE]'. Because there is a seasonal song you can't get enough of. Face it. Admit it. Embrace it. Just don't play it post December. Here are the Squeamish Bikini teams favourite Christmas tunes (turns out some of them are curmudgeons) (well one is).
Egging on Fertility
I know the current rule of the week for bloggers is to list the things you should do today before the world ends on Friday the 21st. If it does end. Suddenly. As the Mayans allegedly predicted. I can't imagine the Mayan calendar got it wrong – I mean, it's set in stone after all (har-har je ne regrette rien). But just in case the world doesn't end tomorrow (which it won't, but it might) and you're still on the look out for that perfect Christmas gift then boy do I have the blog post for you my friend.
It's the perfect present to give OR receive. Provided you're either a dad with ambitions of grandparentdom or a young lady on the brink of infertility and wizenedom. By which I mean around the age of 21. Who can say no to More Time? Squeamish Kate writes... Hanging up on the Rules
I was once doing a comical bit about a recent dating failure when a friend said to me,
“You should write a book about your romantic exploits. It’d have reams and reams of blank pages, but occasionally you’d stumble across a right corker.” Yikes. A two pronged jibe. You’re ALONE. You’re UNSUCCESSFUL. POW POW. But as my dear old nan used to say, don’t get mad, get vicious. So I yawned all the way through her coupley Ikea anecdote. That’ll show her. It wasn’t an unfair statement to make. I’m single. A lot. And not Carrie Bradshaw single. Not even Bridget Jones single. I’m more How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? single. If Captain Von Trapp was homosexual. Or Maria was a drunk and swore at the children. Or the Nazis had got there just in time. Becky Shepherd writes... The Sound of Improv
It was a soggy Sunday night when I agreed to meet my friend Rick in Angel for a pint and instead a packet of crisps, some improv. When I got the The Old Red Lion. It looked like a good hearty pub. Footie on the flatscreen, fruit machine blinding me with its flashing lights and a box office booth next to the men’s toilet. It was a bit of a David Lynch oddity, with a little smiling man with a clipboard nesting inside. We picked up our tickets and right before we ascended the stairs I asked, “So what’s this all about then Rick?” He replied “We’re going to see Music Box they perform improvised musicals.” Oh dear, I thought, oh dear. Squeamish Nicola writes...
Beware the School Girl
I first saw the dimpled Carey Mulligan in the creepy Doctor Who episode Blink. The next time I saw her, it was in the creepy film based on Lynn Barber's memoir An Education in which she plays a 16 year old seduced by a much older man, for whom she gives up her actual education for the education he can provide. Of the slightly seedy yet glamorous kind.
What is odd in the film is how totally OK the young Jenny Mellor's parents are with their teenage daughter being taken out and about (overnight, overnight!) by a grown man. My, perhaps prudish, little mind went into overdrive trying to work out why this was apparently acceptable in 1961. Nikki McWatters might believe that the reason is clear – Mellor was a predatory teenage girl. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Man Fashion/Mashion
We are sure you've heard, after the dawn of guy-liner it was inevitable really and now Bieber's been spotted wearing a pair they are officially A Thing. What are we talking about? Oh come now, haven't you been reading Vogue Hommes International (akaMan Vogue)? Meggings! They are a thing now! Oh, you're probably wearing them. This week The Guardian sent out an intrepid reporter to try this meggings trend. It was pretty hard hitting stuff: “Quite why leggings have to be gendered in this way is a moot point. We all have legs – boys and girls. It's not like ladies' leggings are called feggings.” What Mr Kingsley had neglected to learn was that the L in leggings is for lady. The gender neutral term for these leg garments is of course eggings. We wondered what other clothing was in need of some gendering...
Hobgobbledegook
TRIGGER WARNING Hey! Guys, I have come up with a great trick for you to work out all by yourself how to use the word rape correctly in a joke! It's rather like the old trick to help you decide whether you should use “and I” or “and me” in a sentence, by taking out some of the words and seeing if that's still what you want to say. Try switching the word 'rape' in your joke to 'murder' or 'Grievous Bodily Harm', basically another devastating crime and see if it is still funny. Funny ha-ha not funny peculiar. No? Then it's probably not a joke.
I do apologise for censoring those with the good fortune to be made entirely of funny bones. However it's funny how what starts off as being (unfunny) niche and edgy can creep into the common vernacular, isn't it? Squeamish Kate writes... Running Stereotypes Ragged
I have already written about my dislike of recent Christmas adverts. You know, the MUM ones. Not mum ones, MUM ones. Aimed at MUMS. Although if there are any MUMS able to find the time to watch an advert and identify with it then they are clearly not doing their MUM jobs properly. Like the person in your office who huffs and puffs over all the e-mails they have and how stressed they are without visibly getting much done - if they were really MUMMING they'd be far too run ragged to keep their eyes open for an ad. Squeamish Kate writes...
Making up Time
Do you want to know a fact I learned this week? Over the Christmas season women wear 3 times as much make up as usual. That's thrice as much! According to the Daily Mail women are: “slathering 12 products on to their faces before going on a night out.” Slathering! The usual amount of products women slap on is 4, for a night out the product number climbs to 8.
Debenhams, who bravely undertook this research, said the poll showed the basic 4 products of foundation, mascara, lip gloss and blusher make up the basic lady routine. Come Christmas these products are augmented with bronzer, eye liner, eye shadow, lipstick, false eyelashes, glitter, highlighter and setting spray. Although I suspect setting spray is a big fat lie and women have been taking tips from Snog, Marry Avoid and setting their glittery faces with hairspray. Squeamish Kate writes... FALSE modesty cover UP
Could it be? Can parents and teachers the world over relax? Are crop tops on the wane (popularity-wise not... size-wise) and music videos about to concentrate on music? It seems drugs, sex and teeny pop have been replaced by a new cool activity on the block. Hey kids, have you tried this new thing? Covering up! Not a creepy government kind of cover up, no, this is modesty and all the cool kids are doing it! Or rather not... doing it, that is. Because all the kids are joining Modesty Club.
As with all activities the media reports to be taking youth culture by storm, it is very possible your child has never heard of such a thing. Certainly, as with Miaow Miaow, they have probably not been invited to partake in a modesty club just yet. Partly because, while we do excel in false modesty here in the UK (no, we don't, we are rubbish at it), we don't tend to go in for school clubs over here. Also our weather doesn't lend itself to skimpy attire, so we can but applaud those girls who go out in mini skirts and crop tops. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...what makes you A grown up?
Ah the cult of youth. It's an odd thing, but you can't deny – no matter how many times you insist you'd never want to go through teenage-hood again -- most of us are chasing youth, or clinging on to it. Apart from those who are still very dewy and think smoking is cool (kids! It's not!).
In fact due to spending most of our formative years thinking of all the things we would do (or refuse to do) once we were all grown-up, we neglected to note we might possibly have grown up now. We can't be – we don't eat cake for breakfast everyday. Or are we? No matter how many qualifications attained, bills paid and career ladder wrungs reached conversations at Squeamish Bikini headquarters often feature the qualifier: “when I grow up”. In fact fun fact Shirley Manson of Garbage was 32 when she was on Top of the Pops singing the song When I Grow Up whilst wearing enough black eye-liner to give any teenager a run for their money. If you don't feel grown up when you are hitting the charts (this doesn't apply to those hitting the charts as an offshoot from their former Disney career, OK?) with your second album then when do you? Here are our 5 signs that you're a grown up... Shelter from the Norm
138.8%, that’s how much reports of domestic violence rose in the west of Scotland when a Celtic and Rangers game is played on a Saturday. 96.8% when they play on a Sunday or weekday. I remember back in 2011 when I heard Strathclyde police’s statistics, it was demoralising. Domestic abuse occurs throughout the UK but too often goes unseen. It’s not a rare occurrence, domestic abuse is normality for many people, woman, children and men. This report dragged me into the homes of those women and their families and forced me to confront the reality of many women’s lives. I thought about the intimidation, fear and abuse that can be invisible to society because it is happens in the victim’s home. Squeamish Nicola writes...
Stomping in Heels
Do you use social media? Hey have you seen this?! Men in heels marching for safe streets! In Toronto men have gathered together to oppose violence against women in Walk a Mile in her Shoes Excellent, excellent, with this gesture some men have shown they really have the measure of being a lady! Sometimes (oh OK, all the time) I feel this is the same mentality that brings to the market pink tasers. Is this dismissive of me? I have written before about the importance of feminist intersectionality and inclusivity. So why do these gestures of support sit so badly with me? Squeamish Kate writes...
Getting our Consent in a twist
Hi! Look, I know that since yesterday afternoon's news there really isn't much else you will want to read about. So I am going to compromise. I will try as hard as I can to frequently relate this to the Royal Womb. I just heard on Radio 4 that Kate Middleton is likely to be receiving fluids at hospital. I expect Kate is also wearing underwear. Which is funny, because I was wanted to talk to you about Victoria's Secret underwear!
Kind of scratchy looking underwear line Victoria's Secret's name has been used in a fake PR campaign called Pink loves Consent. A press release was e-mailed out about Victoria Secret's new Pink campaign, with a link to the site that says: “PINK loves CONSENT is more than a style. It's a revolution. PINK loves CONSENT is our newest collection of flirty, sexy and powerful statements that remind PINK panty-wearers and their partners to practice CONSENT.” Squeamish Kate writes... Reignite Grrrl Style now!
From the chunky knit jumpers to the precariously perched baseball caps, you might have noticed the 1990s is back in fashion. Generation No-one Understands Me (AKA Generation X) has been updated to Generation No-one Understands Me Outside My Tumblr Feed.
Oh yes, early 90s grunge is back to stomp all over any dreams of the 21st century fashion being space agey, in tatty DM boots. Teenagers are mining through the strata of eyeliner and matte lipstick to find some gems from this time – oh hey, you ever heard of this great old band The Smashing Pumpkins? Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Nightmares before Christmas
Do you know today's the last day of November? Yeah it's been November all this time! Did you think December just had 60 or so days in it now? Oh you poor lamb. Don't let the town centre Christmas decorations up since mid October fool you. If you've been writing down appointments on a chocolatey calendar with doors on then you have fallen foul of pre-pre-Christmas-Christmas. The build up starts earlier every year, with a brief break for Halloween, it's a wonder the shops bother to take down the fairy lights. The decorations have been up so long that by the time Chesney Hawkes gets to your town to flick the switch and turn on the lights the tinsel's all tatty. It is not surprising people are increasingly entering the month of December with early onset Christmas fatigue. We, at Squeamish Bikini, sympathise with you – here are our nightmares before Christmas...
Educating Sue: Down the Plug Hole
The ever punctual Squeamish Sue is here to bring us tales of university life as a mature student. Make sure you're on time and have your papers, yeah? Or it could all end up down the plug hole.
I find it a little disconcerting that lecture attendance, whilst desirable is nonetheless optional and is not monitored, at least not in any discernible way. I guess if you don’t have a clue of the subject matter when you get to your seminar, it is a bit of a giveaway that you weren’t actually in the lecture. Yet seminars are compulsory and are absolutely monitored. A register is taken and your attendance details are forwarded to no less a body than the UK Border Agency. I feel I should carry my passport with me at all times just in case! 'Your absence has been noted, where were you?' 'oh yeah, sorry I was just having a nervous breakdown in the car park, but I’m here now.' Squeamish Sue writes... Live Long & Prosper: A GEek Girl's Health
This week's Geek Girl's Guide on how to live long and prosper involves spread sheets, Microsoft Excel, various charts and maths. This is not just about getting healthy, this is about adding a skill to your CV.
There are good foods, and there are bad foods, although not in the context we're usually told. So yes, some foods that boost health can also be bad for you. Take red wine, for example. It's good for the heart; it contains tumour-reducing chemicals; it's good for the stomach. However, combining it with driving is inadvisable, and one can become addicted to it. The key is moderation. Alcohol contains 4cal/g and is of little nutritive value for its calorie count; therefore, it counts in the 20% 'because I need comfort food' allowance. Bridget writes... The Damaged Damaged Goods Hypothesis
Mythbusters at the Journal of Sex Research have published a study, entitled Pornography Actresses: An Assessment of the Damaged Goods Hypothesis that debunks the stereotype that all women who work in front of the camera in porn must be victims of low self-esteem. Research carried out by Pennsylvania's Shippensburg University, Texas Woman’s University and the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation found no evidence to support the “damaged goods hypothesis.” Squeamish Kate writes...
Reclaiming Reclaim
Reclaim is an interesting word; or rather the use of it is interesting. Baggage reclaim, reclaimed wood (for the new floorboards, so much more ethical darling – you know), reclaim PPI you never took out but you simply must have, why else would you be getting all those texts? Reclaim words you didn't know you ever owned. I assume you are all aware of brilliant women and men across the world taking a lazily worded warning from a Toronto police officer to task and reclaiming the word slut whilst getting some gentle exercise. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Gender Neutral Guess Who Questions
Oh Hasbro have been through the old mail bag wringer lately. A recent correspondence 'twixt them and a 6 year old has had them rending their Hasbro garments and begging mummy not to throw out the game in which 2 people play shallow detective.
Jennifer O'Connell blogged the correspondence she and her daughter received when they e-mailed Hasbro to complain that: “it's not fair to only have 5 girls in Guess Who and 19 boys. It is not only boys who are important, girls are important too...if girls want to be a girl in Guess Who they'll always lose against a boy, and it will be harder for them to win. I am cross about that” Hasbro, aware that they were conversing, via e-mail, with a 6 year old replied with an informative lesson in numerical equations. Something we don't recall the National Curriculum covering in infants. “Another aspect of the game is to draw attention away from using gender or ethnicity as the focal point, and to concentrate on those things that we all have in common, rather than focus on our differences.” We've translated that to mean 'suck it up and choose a male character next time' and come up with some gender neutral suggestions for Guess Who questions to use in future... Winter's a bitch, bake n' booze
You remember the whole Stitch n’ Bitch knitting wave of 2005? Well that was a long time ago and while I will be getting my knitting needles out soon enough, I don’t think the wonky scarf I’ll turn out will be enough to keep me warm. I want hot food and a nice glass of something mulled to warm my cockles this winter. That’s why when my friend Clare invited me to her very first Bitch, Bake n’ Booze evening I said: “Hell yeah I’ll come to that!”
Patisserie chef Clare Zerny had many a culinary delight up her chef’s uniform sleeve but decided to start us off on something homely and useful - we were going to master the art of making olive dough! The 8 of us were ready for the boozy baking to commence. Before we had even washed our hands, we were poured a glass of wine and were escorted to the bedroom…where we watched a DVD about making dough.Squeamish Nicola writes... Live Long & Prosper: Toxins, Exercise & Food
Today we continue with our antidote to traditional slimming articles, instead Squeamish Bikini guest Bridget continues her guide on how to be healthy...
A bear, however hard he tries, Grows tubby without exercise. Okay, that's how to be thin. The secret was just hidden in a poem by A. A. Milne, and needed re-examining. I recently rode a bicycle the length of England, and can attest to the truth of Mr. Milne's statement. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and still managed to look less Winnie the Pooh-like by the end. The moral of the story being this: you can gorge yourself on almost anything, provided you exercise vigorously for around five hours per day. For those of you who don't have the time or energy to do that amount of exercise, let's continue with the Geek Girl's guide to being healthy. Bridget writes... At the Y-Front
It was International Men’s Day yesterday. And we missed it. Again! Seems Squeamish Kate’s premonition that we’d probably spend the 19th “unwittingly ignoring it” was spot on. It’s a good thing the Guardian keeps paying people to write articles about IMD, or it might pass us by entirely.
Now, I will be clear. I am 100 per cent with my editor on this – if people want to meet up and talk about things that bother them, that is fine. Creating ways of supporting one another, safe spaces and places to talk about problems are all good things, and I’m happy to see men doing them. I suppose I’m just slightly uncomfortable with the idea that any men’s movement has to define itself against feminism. In my ideal world it would be part of the same movement. Squeamish Louise writes... Trans Day of Remembrance
Trigger warning - transphobia and violence
Between November 15th 2011 and November 14th 2012 265 trans people have been reported murdered around the word. Tomorrow - the 20th November - sees the 14th annual Trans Day of Remembrance. The day of remembrance has grown from vigils for Rita Hester, who was murdered on November 28th 1998. Her murder, like that of many trans people, has never been solved. At the time of her death there was relatively little media attention, but the day of remembrance has grown with events now taking place all over the world. Squeamish Louise writes... Friday 5...Baby Doll Designs
Gah! Argh! Ew! Breastfeeding! Quick everybody cover your eyes/breasts! We can only deal with boobs, any notion of mammary glands grosses us out. Which is why the news that a new baby doll is on the toy market (just in time for Christmas) which encourages little parents to breast feed it is, like, totally grossing people out. Nobody is able to decide if it is “creepy or cute” for children to play 'breastfeeding' with a toy. This might give you the impression that part of the kit is a pair of comedy breasts to be strapped on to the little child before playtime suckling commences. In fact the breast milk baby kit consists of a baby doll and a rather matronly (though unpadded) cropped tabard with flower nipple pasties. Because feeding a newborn, we hear, is one of the Vital Things to do when bringing up baby is it much different from clothing and pretending to feed a baby doll? If we're going to get all creeped out and make comments on allowing children to be children about it then how come we aren't concerned with the very idea of giving under-age, nay pre-pubescent, people tiny wards to care for? Apparently we aren't going to go that deep, so instead we have come up with some more Baby doll ideas. Come on, Baby, think it over...
Oz: The Fake & Deceitful
I cannot tell you how much I love the Oz stories. I love Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz film, I love Miriam Margolyes's more faithful reading of the Wizard of Oz on the Story Teller cassette tape and book series only my sister and I seem to know about and I love the film sequel (or fauxquel I suppose, as it had nothing to do with the original film other than the adoption of ruby slippers) Return to Oz.
This fondness for the Oz stories began in childhood, which is my quick disclaimer as to why Wicked and Enchanted are not listed under my Oz loves. Unless L. Frank Baum had something to do with the plot I don't want to know. Smoosh the characters Mombi and Princess Langwidere together in Return to Oz all you like – just don't think you know the strange motivations behind the witches and their actions. Squeamish Kate writes... Live Long & Prosper: A Geek Girl's Health Guide
Articles and How-to guides concerning dieting and weight loss always seem to be relevant. In spring it’s all about getting that bikini body in time for summer, come Autumn you’ve got to lose that ice lolly weight for the office Christmas party or no one will snog you by the photocopier. Come January we are supposed to start all over again because the survey says we’re all looking a little Christmas pudding-esque. Guest writer Bridget is fed up with this, and using her nutrition knowledge has put together a guide that, over the next few weeks, will focus simply on being healthy - whatever shape you are. This week Bridget explains the importance of sleep.
Can I start by saying that I hate 'How To Get Thin' articles. They're on the same list as 'Be His Dream Lover' articles, and 'How To Have It All' articles: the list that people should stop publishing. Bridget writes... Synod Enough - Bishopgate
In July we wrote about the General Synod's decision to adjourn the debate on the legislation of women bishops. The votes were counted as 288 for the appointment of women bishops, 144 against and 1 abstentions. Perhaps you're not particularly interested in the fight over who gets to wear what hat. Maybe you think it doesn't apply to you – you're not of the C of E domination, you aren't a church goer. Perhaps you are someone who enjoys discussions about all the evils organised religion has brought on the world. Or you are simply of another faith. Yawn, are we still talking about this? Surely it's just another sign of how behind the times the Church of England is. Squeamish Kate writes...
Sequels and the single women
Black coffees 2 (but Monday morning so OK), Daily Mail sidebar stories read 4 (necessary), big pants 0 (VG) boyfriends 0 (VG or not VG – a potential lucky escape)
Last week on Woman's Hour Helen Fielding revealed to Jenni Murray that she is writing a new Bridget Jones book. The last time we heard from Ms Jones (in book form) was in 1999 in the second volume of diaries The Edge of Reason. Fielding explained the gap to Murray, saying: “I sort of lost my voice with Bridget for a long time after the unexpected success when it first came out...It was very easy to write and be honest, then I got all self-conscious.” Recurring rumours since 2001 of a new Bridget Jones film, accompanied by nudging headlines about Renée Zellweger needing to bulk up fast if she is going to play the gargantuan Bridget, will now have slightly more conviction about them. So much easier to make a film based on a book when there is a book. I'm sorry, but I'm just a stickler for tradition like that. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Jungle companions for Dorries
In a surprise move Nadine Dorries has joined the prestigious cast of the ITV show I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! apparently neglecting to inform the Tory party in her rush to begin the jungle adventures. We can rest easy in the knowledge she did take care of her Twitter account in her absence – her daughter has taken over tweeting duties. So, constituents of Mid-Bedfordshire feel free to breathe that sigh of relief - if the upkeep of social networks is your main concern. David Cameron has suspended Nadine Dorries, saying it was “right thing to do”. As if that matters Dave. Either way Dorries is pocketing around £40, 000. A far better punishment would have been to use your Prime Minister weight to select the people Dorries has to share jungle space with. We've actually begin the selection process for you, here are our jungle companions for Dorries...
Educating Sue: CTRL, ALT, DEL
Squeamish Sue, our resident mature student, would like to continue her higher education, but her printer has other ideas. There's also the chameleon to consider now and a stranger's entire new outfit to buy. But what has she learnt from all this?
Does anyone know why, when you print something, casually, for leisure, for fun, for the hell of it, printers always work. But then when you print something because you need to read all 98 pages by the following morning, or hand in your first essay of any real importance, printers automatically know you are in a delicate state, and go wrong? I would love to know how that is! It’s not just mere coincidence, it’s a fact in absolute truth. You do nothing different from that which you have always done, habitually, since the invention of electricity even. And yet, suddenly, a network problem develops, the paper jams, and then for good measure, it runs out of ink. So you switch to the back up printer to save your ass and hey, guess what, that too is similarly afflicted, when not 10 minutes previously they were both working perfectly. If anyone knows what phenomenon is responsible, do please tell me. Squeamish Sue writes... Deeds not Signatures
I seem to be encountering a lot of petitions. I get e-mailed them, they pop up on my social network sites and I can't traverse a pavement without being asked to just very quickly put my name, email address, home address and phone number on a stranger's clipboard. Save badgers, save the NHS, save women's reproductive rights. Ban parabens, ban the bomb, ban Page 3.
Petitions. Do they work? Personal suspicions point to no, but get enough signatures and, while a petition might not succeed in it's stated goal, it can get more people talking about its chosen subject. Getting the Nation talking is not as easy as dull Twitter trending topics might lead you to believe. So X amount of signatures in you can usually attribute a mixed success to your petition, whether that will translate to action is hard to say. Squeamish Kate writes... Festival of Tradition
I’m sitting at home listening to the booms of unseen fireworks. This is the time of year for my favourite festivals – Halloween and Bonfire Night. They’re my favourites not just because they feature fire, dressing up and pumpkin pie (although come on, I’ll take those over plum pudding and creepy rabbits any day), but because they have the most tenuous links to religion.
I am not, as you may have guessed, religious. But I do like a good celebration. And I don’t want to talk about religion, as such. I don’t think that religion is the reason our traditions and festivities are where they are. Squeamish Louise writes... Sizing up the Real Women Campaigns
Last week I was flicking through the channels looking for something to gawp at while I swallowed Coco Pops whole, when I saw that Richard Madeley was presenting The Wright Stuff. Oh, Richard. How I love his floppy hair, his Romford boy charms. His voice tingles through me like the buzz of an electric toothbrush... Ahem. Apologies. Manly Madeley caught my attention and so, I was exposed to some pretty dire ‘news’ shit that ordinarily, I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole (that’s a lie, I love hyperbolic news stuff, but I don’t read the offending paper so I wouldn’t have seen it. Not a complete lie). Becky Shepherd writes...
Friday 5...Cures for Sleeplessness
Yawn. How did you sleep last night? Well, a sleep so deep you were alarmed by your alarm clock this morning? Are you reading this well refreshed and rested? Or did you spend yet another night tossing and turning. The sheets gathering and twisting around your restless legs, you're too hot, you're too cold. How can you possibly sleep with that car alarm/fox barking/birdsong! Then there's that eternal night time question that has long plagued humankind: to pee or not to pee? If you get up now you risk accidentally tricking your body into thinking it's time to get up, or creating some dreaded bladder routine in which you are doomed to always awaken for a 2am trip to the smallest room. Do you even really need to go? No, just relax, go to sleeeeeeeep...no, actually you can't possibly be comfortable with a full bladder and if you aren't comfortable you shan't sleep, best go. It seems a lot of people are having trouble sleeping round here and because we like to be of service to our loyal readers we have shared our tricks to get us to sleep. So don't go dropping off whilst trying to operate that heavy machinery...
Who is the Boringest of them all?
Those of you who read such things will know that Samantha Brick (sorry, this isn't going to be about her though so if you can stave off the envy) and Shona Sibary were debating the merits and setbacks of being beautiful. Sibary reckons if you are beautiful then you will have been so busy basking in compliments you will have forgotten to develop a personality. “I've long believed you can't have it all. And if you're lucky enough to be endowed with a symmetric face, fabulous figure and straight white teeth, then don't you dare try to claim you've got a great personality, too.” Squeamish Kate writes...
Squeamish Transmits: Izo Fitzroy & The Royal Bastards
Squeamish Bikini has our fingers on the laptop, our eyes on the prize and our ears finely tuned to Radio 4. Well, not all the time. Sometimes we venture out of the house to listen to some music sung by talented singers and played by a tight band just like Izo FitzRoy & The Royal Bastards.
Izo is a woman with a mission to bring you soulful and energetic piano grooves unlike any of the sorts you have heard before. Her self penned lyrics house nothing but the most fanciful of lies and for that reason are a real treat! From lepers in leotards to drug addled Jewish boyfriends, you’ll hear tales of many people you may never wish to meet, apart from Jon Snow of course. Squeamish Nicola writes... Knock, Knock - Mammogram!
WOMEN! Are you a woman? Then you absolutely must have a smear test at the age of 20! It's a matter of life or death! No, actually 25. But it's still a matter of life or death! Glad that's over? Oh you have to have that every couple of years. Also you're hurtling towards a very necessary/unnecessary breast exam, do you check your breasts? Right, you must check them, you can do it anywhere. At the bus stop, at the till, doing the school run, nobody will notice. Oh no wait that's kegels. Do not check your breasts anywhere. Do your kegels like you've got a ping pong tournament approaching and check your breasts in a private moment. Squeamish Kate writes...
I'm a Teen! Ask me how.
Last week I wrote about the new sex education site RespectYourself.info and some of the negative reactions to it. The latest horrified writer to happen upon it (you wonder what these people were casually googling sometimes) is Bel Mooney. Bel, as a massive Kitty books fan this hurts me a lot more than it hurts you. This morning the Today programme John Humphrys discussed with Wellington College's Anthony Seldon a story in the Daily Telegraph concerned about teenage girls receiving a birth control jab without parent's consent. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas I'm a sexy sofa, OBVIOUSLY
Last year we were baffled by Halloween fancy dress shops encouragement of sexy costumes, if we may quote ourselves: “You would think the rule would be ‘You can be anything you want, just make it dead’ but it appears the rule is actually ‘you can be anything you want, just make it sexy.” When we said 'anything you want' we meant within the plausible realms of Halloweeny, a sexy spider, sexy skeleton, sexy Freddie Krueger and sexy Marie Antoinette (she's dead!) - the sexy ladybird threw us a little but hey, beetles are unnerving when they scuttle.
This year the rules have been thrown out the window, stomped on and laughed at. It's Halloween, live the freaky dream! You can be anything you want – just makes it sexy and when we say anything we mean ANYTHING. Sexy Bert and Ernie, sexy Big Bird, sexy Finding Nemo. In fact it would be ODD to go as a sexy witch. Instead of being baffled we have come up with some other things you can make sexy this All Hallows' Eve. Hormonal voting
It's Thursday, which means it's science day. Here is some science for you - women are ruled by their hormones. They are full of blue hormoney water and once a month are consumed with desire to roller-blade in white jeans as this blue water is expelled. Perhaps they will let out an impressive call to other ladies: 'WOOOOOOOOOOAH! BODY-FOOOOOORM!' But nothing, nothing during this time (oh, and before, 'cos they're crotchety) can be done competently. Because they lose all sense of self and politics, meaning they cannot vote. Or they can, but their votey choice is all wack anyway. Squeamish Kate writes...
Sex Education Scandal
OK, look, I don't know if I should put, like, a trigger warning here? The Daily Mail has broken some rather shocking news. You pay tax right? Do you know what your hard earned tax money is going on? It's filthy. Filthy.Perhaps you thought it went on the government, defence and running the country. Well it does, but some of your squeezed middle, honest-curtains-open-family money is going on a partly EU (eee-uuuu) funded “sordid NHS website” called Respect Yourself.
The sordid website is a sex education site that features a swift exit button for those who have DM trolled parents who are under the impression that thinking about sex is tantamount to having 'Village Bike' tattooed on a bosom budding beneath a padded BHS training bra. And what's that going to do for house prices madam, hm? Squeamish Kate writes... Oh the horror! How to survive a monster movie marathon 'What did you think of the film?'
I love horror movies. I enjoy the creepiness, the faces I pull and even hiding behind my hands - just a little bit. My favourite cinema in London, cult movie mecca, The Prince Charles Cinema, already had one Horror pyjama party that I missed, so when the John Carpenter All Nighter Came along – my chance to sit back and scream had returned from beyond the grave!
Weirdly as a horror fan, John Carpenter was unknown territory for me, I had managed to miss all the monster movies (is The Fog a monster?) and Kurt Russell laden action he’d had to offer over the years. Halloween was nearly scrapped from the line up and that ultimate teen slasher movies absence was enough to make me wonder: “Do I really want to risk deep vein thrombosis for films I don’t even know?” But I’ve always liked turning up to a film when you don't know too much about it – you don’t know what to expect, a bonus in the horror genre. When Halloween was reinstated to the line-up, opening the night’s event, it was a done deal. Let’s see if I can survive 10 hours in a chair in a red velvet lined basement with my pal Pete as my trusty sidekick. Here is my Horror Movie Marathon Survival Guide. Squeamish Nicola writes... Educating Sue: Trains, Planes & a bag of chips
After a break soaking up the local ex-pat culture and cuisine in Spain, Sue's back to begin her degree at Warwick University. But have her ankles returned to their former size? ¿Dónde está Sue's tobillos?
I have recently come back from Spain where I spent a week with my sister, her partner and my mum. It was a little warm; 37 degrees most days and on one occasion the humidity rose to around 80% causing my swollen ankles to reach new levels of tumescence. So attractive. Squeamish Sue writes... Friday 5...Inventions
In honour of Ada Lovelace Day on Tuesday we have themed this week's Friday 5 on the theme of invention. The daughter of the scandal riven poet Byron, under her mother's guidance Lovelace was educated in science and maths, in order to counter any poetic leanings of Byron's nature. Armed with a scientific education, Lovelace met and began a correspondence with Charles Babbage. Lovelace was fascinated by his work on the difference engine. Babbage admired Lovelace and referred to her as The Enchantress of Numbers. It was their work together that resulted in Ada writing notes on Babbage's analytical engine, in her notes she wrote about an algorithm later recognised as the first algorithm specifically designed for implementation on a computer. Ada Lovelace has since gone down in history as the first computer programmer. This is why we are not listing inventions we admire, in an effort to continue “Analyst (& Metaphysician)” Ada Lovelace's legacy we are listing our personal inventions. Patent pending...
Choice: A Mehdi-tation
Before the conversation could get going on BBC Radio 4 Today, before John Humphrys could do his high pitched voice of incredulity (patent pending 'twixt Humphrys and Paxman), before the pips could interrupt, journalist Suzanne Moore began: “I find myself once again discussing abortion with 2 men”.
Moore had been invited to discuss abortion and the left wing with John Humphrys and Mehdi Hasan, who recently aired his views about the terrible difficulties of being both anti-choice and left wing. Hasan wrote how he felt that : “left-wingers fetishise "choice", selfishness and unbridled individualism.” The pro-choice of the left were understandably riled and rose to the blog hit bait to argue if forced pregnancy was unselfish. But the Today debate/discussion/raised voice fest brought to a head the idea that some people have more right to discuss abortion. Squeamish Kate writes... Real Women Suck it in
Women, Marks and Spencer's wants to talk to you. You real women I mean. They want your money and in exchange they will give you all a dress to share – Travelling Pants Sisterhood style -- and shape you all into better women.
Yeah last month M&S announced it had dropped Twiggy and Myleene et al in favour of the Real Women ad campaign bandwagon. "The campaign features a selection of models representing a range of ages and sizes which mirror M&S' broad customer base." The new advert, with the strapline: 'For Every Woman You Are' featured women of various ages and sizes all wearing the same dress (OK not the same dress as it were, they had one each) reflecting the way of the high street. Lots of women of all shapes and sizes living the Western nightmare of having to pretend not to notice someone across the road has the same top on. That's Real Women. Squeamish Kate writes... Club XX
“I'm going to my club”, “I shall sup at the club”, “I had a sandwich at the club”. In novels of old men, bachelors and husbands are always sweeping out of the room to dine at their club. Or nodding off in front of a comforting fire and mysterious figure at their club (only to wake up to an enticing note and a mystery to solve). They seek refuge from the old ball and chain or sniffy housekeeper at home in the library of their club. Away from nagging high pitched voices into the brandy soaked, pipe smoked arms of their exclusive club.
Provided of course, we are reading about an upper class gentleman. Any other man storms off daan the pub for a pint and to talk sense with their mates. Or possibly the understanding and bosomy barmaid. And the women? Oh they stay home and weep. Or angrily scrub the kitchen floor, or take to their beds with a Mills & Boon. Squeamish Kate writes... Slut Shame Dropping
After a miserable summer it seemed a drop in temperature would hardly be noticeable. A question of zipping the coat that hasn't come off since late August a little higher. As it turns out over the weekend I, for one, was freezing. Trudging home at 4am on Saturday night (morning? Morning) in a parka and scarf I was still chilly but I suppose my 'function over fashion' look wasn't going to attract any young men cruising for chicks to slut drop. Although this could also be because I live somewhere where the One Way system is so impossible to navigate everybody just gets the bus. Squeamish Kate writes...
Friday 5...Guilty Pleasures
It appears we are gluttons for punishment at Squeamish Bikini. We've told you about the cartoon characters that make us consider the 2D life, revealed our misheard lyrics and confessed to our gullible childhoods. Perhaps you find these posts uplifting, a way to kick off the weekend jauntily thinking: 'Well, could be worse!' before skipping off into the Friday night full of beery promise ('oh my goodness, you won't believe what you did last night'), leading on to Saturday lie ins ('get up! You're missing the best part of the day!'), pushing plans to Sunday ('I'll do it once Louis Walsh has finished telling this hopeful who they remind him of'), well obviously you can't really do anything on Sunday. It's a day of rest. Besides, I was hoping we could go out for a nice Sunday Roast. Oh man, I hope this weekend wasn't a complete write off. Don't feel bad, we've confessed our guilty pleasures here...
Day of the Girl
Today is the first ever United Nations International Day of the Girl Child (The term 'Girl Child' here is used to highlight the particular struggles young women and girls under 18) . Today's International Day of the Girl was lobbied for by the people behind the Because I am a Girl...campaign Plan UK in order to have a “day in recognition of girls' rights and accomplishments”.
Plan UK hope, through new awareness, to generate more signatures for their petition to put pressure on UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon to “lead action by world leaders to make girls' education a priority.” Global statistics show that 1 in 3 girls are denied a secondary education due to poverty, discrimination and violence. If that doesn't convince you to add your signature how about the statistic that every 3 seconds a girl is coaxed, coerced or forced into a marriage? Squeamish Kate writes... Beauty is as Beauty Does
There are a few things I would never do – I would never bungee jump for instance. Nor would I go on a hike (not for fun anyway. Sickos). I most definitely would not enter a beauty contest. Not just because I am well ensconced in my 20s and therefore 'too old' but when I came of beauty queen age it was the 2000s, unfashionable, my personal politics didn't match up and I had a mild case of The Acne. Colour me a little red and DISQUALIFIED.
In Monday night's Wonderland I Was Once a Beauty Queen Hannah Berryman interviewed former beauty queens from the days when the BBC still broadcast the pageants. 30 years has passed since such pageants were broadcast with a straight face. Now child beauty pageants are presented as freak shows of pushy moms and lacquered brats. Poise and a lovely laugh can go do one, tantruming toddlers in tiaras is where it's at now in the world of pageantry. Squeamish Kate writes... Mind The Tweet
India Knight is sick of hearing celebrities talk about their battles with depression.
I can, sort of, understand that. I don't think her point was hugely well expressed but it seems that she's not tired of hearing about depressionper se, so much as seeing it used as a hook to sell celebrity memoirs or flog their latest product. No matter how tenuous the link to the subject matter. But, like I said, not well expressed. In fact, it might have come across a little like she was saying she was tired of hearing people talk about being depressed, full stop. To the extent that the mental health charity Mind saw her column as an attack on anyone who has the gall to talk about being depressed, and used their twitter feed in a seeming bid to encourage people to attack her for this view - ironically creating a situation where a mental health charity was seen as bullying a prominent writer. Squeamish Louise writes... What Caitlin Said
I'm a member of a feminist group. It started as a casual meeting of people who lived in the same area and hoped to share similar values. Feminism is a wide ranging thing. After the first few meetings we all admitted how nervous we had been on first meeting. What to wear for The Feminists?! What do The Feminists drink?! What will The Feminists talk about? I made a couple of deals with myself before this first meeting. For instance if these feminists I was about to meet were hostile towards the idea of trans or male members I was out. Also if I just plain didn't like them. Even if it was just a case of negative transference. Which I am a martyr to.
It was a happy ending, as you can deduce from my membership. It turned out we were all pro and anti the same, or at least similar things ('kyriarchy? Well I'm against it') and I didn't take an instant, unreasonable, dislike to them. So we combined forces and enjoyed discussions about how we came to feminism, what instances the patriarchy had screwed us over and what we can do about it. Most importantly what we wanted to do was make our feminist group welcoming and open to all who identified (among other things) as feminist. Squeamish Kate writes... Friday 5...Actors we're concerned about
Allow me to paint a picture for you. You're walking down the street, na na na, not a care in the world when suddenly it strikes you. What happened to that teen heartthrob so heavily promoted as The Next Big Thing in the J17, Sugar and Bliss magazines of yesteryear? Where is that wisecracking sidekick who played the plain best friend in that sitcom you can hum the theme tune to but can't remember the name of? You're certain they had at least one hit on the big screen, they had the world at their feet. So photogenic, so hip, so where are they now? Faded Next Big Things, we're worried about you.
Sheer or Cystitis: Which is the less funny?
Well I know which one I prefer. But let's investigate this. Actually let's not. On Tuesday someone named Mike Sheer wrote a post on comedy industry site Chortle asking the question Women or Rape: Which is the less funny? From the title alone you know this is going to be edgy comedy gold, right? This is going to be an article that gets things sorted once and for all. It's what we've all been asking in our more idle moments. Sheer begins: “Unless you've been living under a rock, or are interesting, you're aware of the ongoing ‘Are women funny?’ debate. Lately, there's been another element tossed into the ‘funny?’ quandary: rape. We just can't seem to put our finger on whether or not rape and women are funny! But can we ascertain which is less funny?” Squeamish Kate writes...
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