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House of Wives: Why We Return to the 1950s

5/3/2013

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Image: SportSuburban
A while ago I saw a documentary (though the term is used loosely in this context) about women who don't just dress in vintage clothing but extend their vintage lifestyle beyond the wardrobe. Time Warp Wives followed the lives of a couple who tried to live as much in the 1930s as possible (though cheated with the odd concealed electric appliance in the kitchen) when not at work and a young woman who liked to dress in a 1940s style and eat at the table the ol' fashioned way. There was one woman who had entrenched herself so much in the 1950s lifestyle she confessed to not knowing Tony Blair was no longer Prime Minister.

This proud housewife baked from scratch and scrubbed the floors like the Swiffer* mop hadn't been invented. It appeared her only companions were the residents of an old people's home All the women featured liked the idea of living in simpler times – though why you'd pick the Second World War as your nostalgia era was never quite explained. Or examined. It just wasn't that kind of documentary. They cited the old days when people didn't get divorced and were generally happy with their lot.


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A Barbie in Sindy's Clothing

8/1/2013

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That blank stare kids love. Image: SvartaBaskern
Sindy is due to celebrate her 50th birthday this year, and her creators are staging a comeback. Like many icons who reach their twilight years, she wants to look her best and so she’s had some work done. No biggie. Barbie’s been doing it for years.

But we’ve always felt that Sindy was more sensible. She had too much dignity to go under the knife. At 50 I assumed she’d look like my GCSE Art teacher, not Sharon Stone. Is the nice girl image that Sindy’s been lugging around in her matronly pockets all these years a fair one? Is she really any more feminist than Barbie?

In 1963, Pedigree Toys introduced Sindy, a clean, girl-next-door doll with a round face and a thick waist and outfits that would make Jan Brady reach for the scissors. She was designed to capture the hearts of British girls in the same way that Barbie had strutted into every home in America.

Sindy’s prudish charms were a hit, and for the next twenty years she dominated the doll industry throughout Europe, knocking up a grand total of 150 million sales in her lifetime.


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The Bell Jar at 50

7/1/2013

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Sylvia Plath's only novel The Bell Jar turns 50 this year and it's still overshadowed by the links – real or inferred – to her own life, and suicide shortly after it was published in the UK.

It's an intense, personal book and so it seems fitting that I vividly remember not only when I first read it, but what I brought to it in terms of expectations and background knowledge.

My GCSE English teacher was obsessed with Ted Hughes, who was Plath's husband at the time of The Bell Jar and her suicide. Hughes was on our syllabus, but she probably managed to spend a lot more classroom time on him and his work than was strictly intended. And she talked a lot about his personal life – his marriage to Plath and the fact that some people (unfairly, in her view) blamed him for her suicide.


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Oz: the Fake & Deceitful 

15/11/2012

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Image: Lori Joan
I cannot tell you how much I love the Oz stories. I love Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz film, I love Miriam Margolyes's more faithful reading of the Wizard of Oz on the Story Teller cassette tape and book series only my sister and I seem to know about and I love the film sequel (or fauxquel I suppose, as it had nothing to do with the original film other than the adoption of ruby slippers) Return to Oz.

This fondness for the Oz stories began in childhood, which is my quick disclaimer as to why Wicked and Enchanted are not listed under my Oz loves. Unless L. Frank Baum had something to do with the plot I don't want to know. Smoosh the characters Mombi and Princess Langwidere together in Return to Oz all you like – just don't think you know the strange motivations behind the witches and their actions. 


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The End of Nina Bawden's Story 

23/8/2012

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I recall so clearly sitting at my desk in year 6 during quiet reading time. I remember the desk was one of those old fashioned models I'd yearned to sit at for years. One of the few privileges of reaching the last year of primary school, in all 3 schools I attended anyway, was to sit on benches during assembly and to have opening desks in class. The kind so old they had an inkwell and esoteric slang carved into them. Occasionally we could all make Mrs Walters wince as the desk lids came clattering down 'accidentally'. But it's quiet reading time, the desks are closed and the room is silent and I am reading Carrie's War.

It's actually quite possible that the room is not silent and there is fiddling and prodding and psst-psst-pssting going on in the background. But I am reading Carrie's War and the skull is in the pond and the house is burning and the curse is coming true as a train huffs and puffs Carrie away.


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Flirt with Nostalgia, don't date it.

30/1/2012

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Guys, I miss responsible parenting like this. Image:Cea
The Golden Globes and The Oscar nominations have spoken. For 2 years running it has selected films focused on yesteryear. Last year it was The King’s Speech, this year it’s The Artist and Hugo, we are turning to what we hope were simpler times. 

They were of course not simpler times; they were times of depression, unemployment, no healthcare and panicked carpe diem inspired kisses before getting blitzed. And I’m not talking bootleg style here. But hey at least when you went out you knew the moves.

We have comfort foods, comfort reading (when you re-read a childhood favourite), and now comfort eras. Where we conveniently forget what we're fondly recalling is a time when women didn’t have the vote and rape within marriage was thought impossible.

Instead we focus on the glamorous side, as well as retro style films, TV shows such as Strictly Come Dancing have fuelled the trend to learn to dance properly. Or zumba. 


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Horror is for Heroines

31/10/2011

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He's behind you...
She’s a scream! My Halloween horror film heroines 

Happy Halloween everybody! I hope you’ve had the chance to dress up this Halloween, it’s always fun to wear a Freddy Kruger Jumper, a Scream mask or even a William Shatner mask painted white. Yes Michael Myers galore but not one person dressed up as the girl who outsmarts him. How many Laurie Strodes do you see? None. The Halloween (1978) character played by ‘Scream Queen’ Jamie Lee Curtis is known as the leading lady of this genre but I want to introduce you to some other horror heroines. Ok, they aren’t the greatest fancy dress options but you can watch them take on the forces of evil instead!


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Friday 5...Novel Nostalgia

30/9/2011

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It’s Friday, and I fancy a meander down memory lane. Childhood TV keeps getting ruined, so join me for a trashy teenage novel top 5...




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Bessie Smith Invents the Blues

23/9/2011

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Squeamish Bikini is a website of its word. Or something along those lines. When I said I was going travelling, I did. When I said I was going to skydive, I did. When I said I was going to learn to drum like Janet Weiss I…bought some bitchin’ shades that I’m pretty sure give me the air of a drummer.

But I digress. The point is I said in my Madonna feature that blues singer Bessie Smith, deserved more coverage and as her death day approacheth (26th September) now seems like the time to crack out a short profile of the woman Betty Davis growls about on her track ‘They Say I’m Different’



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The Showbiz feature we promised never to post...

9/9/2011

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After many exclusive magazine interviews, 23 autobiographies and 590 reality TV shows finally we can now learn the truth about Katie Price with the launch of Katie Magazine. Like I was under the impression Pricey wanted to go raven black again hair-wise but from the Katie Magazine launch images I can see she is more platinum than ever. You see, so! Many! Lies! 




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