Ladies! Are you romantically entangled with one of those odd male creatures? Do you want to settle down, but he’s too busy wearing a suit and shouting at people/ wearing jeans and playing on his xbox to notice your domestic yearnings? Not quite ready to trap him by getting pregnant?

Fear not! Your once-in-every-1461-days opportunity is here! You are allowed to ask him to marry you. Hurry though – as soon as that clock strikes midnight you’re going to have to go back to waiting for him to notice you dropping hints about diamonds.

I want to make it clear this isn’t about forgiveness, or repentance. I’m not writing this post to try and incite violence either. I am writing this post because I want to examine reactions.

TRIGGER WARNING  
I think we all know the story of Chris Brown. But if not, here’s a refresher. In February 2009 on the night of the Grammys Chris Brown attacked the singer Rihanna. Brown bit her, choked her, slammed her against a window and punched her until her nose and lip was bloody and 2 contusions swelled up on her forehead. I would not usually go into such detail, but if we shy away from what happened, we can’t have any kind of proper discussion. 

Oh yeah I know we are contractually obliged to discuss The Oscars, not the quality of the winning films or speeches, just what the ladies wore. So here’s my detailed analysis.

I’m sure the ladies spent a very long time deciding what to wear, I imagine fashion PR interns ran around frantically searching for something they didn’t quite hear the name of and many pairs of Spanx were probably squeezed into in order to avoid any pregnancy rumours caused by the act of breathing out.

It is 220 years since Mary Wollstonecraft wrote A Vindication of the Rights of Women. As you can guess Ms. Wollstonecraft was always ahead of the times, even in death. For the lady has a Twitter, @1759MaryWol1797. She doesn’t take kindly to be called a bot and quite rightly.  The @SqueamishBikini twitter got called ‘madam’ for suggesting so, ‘madam!’

In honour 220 years of A Vindication of the Rights of Women, which you will find cited in pretty much every feminist tome, here are 5 Mary Wollstonecraft facts. 

I'm not being paid to write any of this, and I didn't get a free stay. In fact, my one night in the Gatwick Airport Yotel - to be ready for the Ferrari launch that didn't happen - cost me sixty-two of your finest English pounds.

So rest assured that this fulsome praise comes from the heart, and not from any commercial interest. Although if the Yotel folk decide they want to give me free accommodation in their New York branch during the US Grand Prix in New Jersey, I wouldn't say no. Just putting it out there... 

Fashion mannequin makers Displaysense have reported an increase of 16% in orders for mannequins in size 12-14. This brings the dummies modelling the clothes for sale in the high street a little closer to the UK average of a size 16.

The papers are reporting this is a reflection of a trend for curves started by Adele and Christina Hendricks. Unlikely, although it probably is a culmination of an on-going trend for 1940s and 50s vintage style and shop assistants getting effing fed up of constantly having to pin garments to fit size 0 dummies.

Displaysense said: “Staying relevant to your audience is essential and our order books show that sales of larger sized and bigger breasted mannequins, wider clothes hangers for heavier garments and other plus-size display products are undoubtedly on the rise in 2012.”

Because I am a St Martin’s graduate, female and a writer I am required by law to comment on London Fashion Week. That’s not strictly true, but as with my unexpected fondness of mentioning George Michael on Squeamish Bikini, (let’s use this as a gratuitous excuse to link to the Freedom 90 video) I do have the odd hobby and enthusiasm for subjects people don’t always link with feminism. Fashion is one of them.

This is silly. So many people choose to switch off or claim to have no interest in fashion when what they mean is they think fashion has no interest in them and so deserves to be dismissed as ridiculous. Ultimately fashion is all about being brave, being interested and not fitting in. 

We’ve checked the weather for this weekend. It’s going to be rubbish and dreary tonight and tomorrow. Which is perfect weather for staying in and watching a film without feeling guilty that you’re wasting the best part of the day. Whilst you’re lounging around doing nothing on the settee you might as well complete the return to your teen years and watch some films with a pubescent narrative. At least then we can all feel glad our teenage years are over…and wonder if it’s true that all American High Schoolers  have clear skin.