Who gave Whale a book deal? This week saw the release of Amy Poehler's much anticipated autobiography Yes Please. In a world where biography is king and you're no one until you've done a book signing for a tome entitled 'My Story' with a photo of you looking sincere and mildly put upon on the cover, we wonder if the genre is being mildly abused for a quick buck come Christmas time. Surely not. So we have come up with a list of other people who we would like to produce an autobiography, or those who we wish had shared their life story before they shuffled off this mortal coil...
1. I'd quite like to see my autobiography. It would be good to know in advance which were the good mistakes and which were the terrible ideas. Advance info on health problems, future relationships, and so on wouldn't go amiss either. Although I should qualify this by saying I've never really been one for biographies - I read them when I have to, not when I want to. F1 Kate
2. I think the most interesting autobiographies are often those that remained unwritten, either because the person was only really recognised after their death or because they were cut down in their prime. Or were maybe just too busy to get round to it. Amelia Earheart, Aldous Huxley, Alan Turing... Although I've just discovered that Tallulah Bankhead apparently did write one, so maybe that should go on the wishlist! Squeamish Louise
3. I'm really not a fan of celebrity autobiographies. There are too many of them - seriously every other Christmas advert (which, incidentally, started far too early again) is for one, mostly written by people who are barely out of their 20s who have no interesting stories to tell. And then they write a second or third volume a year or two later. Personally I'd much prefer it if they waited until they were decrepit before releasing it. Or at least middle aged! Gareth
4. I think Dolly Wilde, Oscar Wilde's dipsomaniac and drug addict niece would have written an excellent autobiography full of Parisian gossip about all the sapphic artists in Natalie Barney's salon. Tales of her favourite childhood snack - sugar lumps dipped in her mother's perfume and stories of driving an ambulance around Paris would make for a fantastic autobiography. Squeamish Kate
5. Please Please Pleeeeease! Someone give Winona Ryder and advance on her autobiography! I want to hear everything! From how cools it was to be a goth in Beetlejuice to falling in love with Johnny Depp and losing her virginity to him. How did she feel when he got the 'Winona Forever' tatt? And how did she feel when he changed it to 'Wino Forever'?! I want the gossip from Heathers and Dracula and a confession about what all that shoplifting was about. Also how does it feel to be cast as old ladies, as mothers of adult men in films when she's still so young. Go ahead, open up Winona, I am your best friend so let it out! Squeamish Nicola
2. I think the most interesting autobiographies are often those that remained unwritten, either because the person was only really recognised after their death or because they were cut down in their prime. Or were maybe just too busy to get round to it. Amelia Earheart, Aldous Huxley, Alan Turing... Although I've just discovered that Tallulah Bankhead apparently did write one, so maybe that should go on the wishlist! Squeamish Louise
3. I'm really not a fan of celebrity autobiographies. There are too many of them - seriously every other Christmas advert (which, incidentally, started far too early again) is for one, mostly written by people who are barely out of their 20s who have no interesting stories to tell. And then they write a second or third volume a year or two later. Personally I'd much prefer it if they waited until they were decrepit before releasing it. Or at least middle aged! Gareth
4. I think Dolly Wilde, Oscar Wilde's dipsomaniac and drug addict niece would have written an excellent autobiography full of Parisian gossip about all the sapphic artists in Natalie Barney's salon. Tales of her favourite childhood snack - sugar lumps dipped in her mother's perfume and stories of driving an ambulance around Paris would make for a fantastic autobiography. Squeamish Kate
5. Please Please Pleeeeease! Someone give Winona Ryder and advance on her autobiography! I want to hear everything! From how cools it was to be a goth in Beetlejuice to falling in love with Johnny Depp and losing her virginity to him. How did she feel when he got the 'Winona Forever' tatt? And how did she feel when he changed it to 'Wino Forever'?! I want the gossip from Heathers and Dracula and a confession about what all that shoplifting was about. Also how does it feel to be cast as old ladies, as mothers of adult men in films when she's still so young. Go ahead, open up Winona, I am your best friend so let it out! Squeamish Nicola
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