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A Nipple Equality

11/11/2014

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PictureNipples is Life Image: Abulic Monkey
Nipples. The only part I recall of Jim Carrey vehicle Cable Guy is when he leans towards his leading man's ear (I assume for this film leading man is the correct terminology - plus I forget who the actor was) and whispers "nipple". The leading man is horrified. I think he has to either say nipple or describe a nipple. Or two. A pair of nipples. It's not right, thinks the leading man, he cannot possibly say nipple. Of course the punchline is that no one else in the room thinks nipple is a weird of pervy thing to say. It's just how Jim Carrey said it DAMMIT. I spent the entire film grossed out because I did not care for Jim Carrey until Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you asked me in 1996 Jim Carrey had no business saying the word "nipple". So does Keira Knightley have any business showing hers?


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Night of the Walking Wombs

10/11/2014

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PictureTV? In pregnancy? Image: Daniel Lobo
The question of who we prioritise, mother or foetus, is a sensitive and enduring one. Those who are anti-choice say they are saving lives. Those who are pro-choice...say they are saving lives. If you want to read about pro-choice arguments then Bustle has a list of them here. The habits and life choices of a pregnant woman are examined and criticised in huge detail, whether or not she intends to keep the foetus and have a child. It is acceptable to tut at a woman with a swollen belly should she take a drag on a cigarette or sip a glass of wine, or eat a piece of cheese, or lick a shellfish, diet, not diet, go swimming, or fail to exercise, or say she hasn't got any ideas for a name. This is because we are showing our concern for the baby she will (if she wants to) have. It is natural to want to give a child every opportunity to succeed in life. It's why we still have private schools and why our MPs send their kids to them rather than just making all schools good enough for their spawn. And because society loves the idea of a baby (though not the actual baby with the care taking and the crying in restaurants etc) it likes to have a nose at the vessel the baby develops in. 


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Friday 5...Autobiographies

7/11/2014

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PictureWho gave Whale a book deal?
This week saw the release of Amy Poehler's much anticipated autobiography Yes Please. In a world where biography is king and you're no one until you've done a book signing for a tome entitled 'My Story' with a photo of you looking sincere and mildly put upon on the cover, we wonder if the genre is being mildly abused for a quick buck come Christmas time. Surely not. So we have come up with a list of other people who we would like to produce an autobiography, or those who we wish had shared their life story before they shuffled off this mortal coil...


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Pick Up On This

5/11/2014

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PictureA true pick up artist. Image: Sjoerd Lammers
I recently received a slightly baffling press release in which a sex toy company who e-mailed my work account congratulated me for being at work, in the middle of a week day, rather than in the queue to buy or at home playing a particular video game. Well done me. However I wasn't to get too smug, what is this Protestant work ethic grindstone thing? Didn't I think those people (men) in the video game queue deserve sexual pleasure? I have to admit that I stopped reading then because it was a slightly complicated thread to follow as I do not work in the video games industry, nor the sex toy industry (any more) and it wasn't relevant to my job. However the combination of sexual pleasure and video gaming put me in mind of the popular idea among young men (and older men) who subscribe to the Pick Up Artist approach that women are some kind of computer game just waiting for you to input (nudge, nudge, wink) the right code and that you are deserving of sexual gratification. 


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Perfectly Fine Campaign

4/11/2014

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Picture"It's Victoria's Secret's new range"
While watching Selina Thompson perform her one woman show Chewing the Fat I was struck my a particular line she said. Describing a teenage love for high fashion, Vogue and other fashion magazines Thompson explained that she wasn't in the least bit intimidated or pressured by the tall, slim, white models whose bodies her short, fat and brown teenage body didn't match up to. "It wasn't that I didn't look like them; they didn't look like me." It was an attitude I partially identified with as a short, pale redhead who also had a love for fashion. My brain simply said 'that doesn't apply to you', which is not the same as 'you are not good enough'. I bring this up in light of the Victoria's Secret Perfect Body campaign which recently came under fire. A reaction anybody at Victoria's Secret, from the shop assistants to the CEO should have seen coming from a mile off. 


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Ain't No Hollaback Boy

1/11/2014

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Picture
You have by now probably not only seen that short film of a woman Shoshana Roberts in modest attire walking silently around New York as men (of colour, perhaps down to choice of neighbourhood) verbally harass her and intimidate her. At the end of the video the comments and actions of the men on the street are totted up and we are told if we want to stop this we should visit and donate to the project Hollaback. You have probably also seen the Funny or Die (I choose die) parody film posted up by Unilad (who amusingly had to point out that it was a parody and that they were aware of this fact. Just a quick overview of the people who run and read Unilad really) of a man in a t shirt wandering the streets of New York silently as people high five him, praise him, offer him jobs and eventually crown him. The film mimics the original's scores at the end and says this is all down to the patriarchy and if you're happy with that then do nothing. 


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