Image: Zoetnet I'm hardly an expert on Edinburgh, but I do like me some Fringe. My first time up at the festival was in 1998, when I was sixteen and spending my first unsupervised month away from home. I had three jobs, was working about 20 hours a day, got hooked on ProPlus, and had a whale of a time.
Since then, I've only been back as a tourist. But I've still got a few handy hints for those of you who might be making their first trip to Auld Reekie this year.
Since then, I've only been back as a tourist. But I've still got a few handy hints for those of you who might be making their first trip to Auld Reekie this year.
1. For the smokers among you
One of the ways Edinburgh has dealt with low employment, job creation, and boosting city coffers is by cracking down on smokers dropping butts in the street. And good on them for doing it - it makes for a far more pleasant city to be in. But hang on to your fag ends till you find a bin, as if you drop it and get caught by one of the many environmental wardens roaming the streets, you're subject to an on the spot fine of £50. That's money far better spent on tickets and beer.
2. Hang around George Square, especially if you get there in previews week
Previews week is fantastic, as you can see shows on a budget. The big comics have all been sold out for months (at least, the cheap seats have, and Edinburgh tickets ain't cheap). But the smaller shows want big crowds in the first week, so that critics will write reviews mentioning the crowded houses and the show's apparent popularity, Many, many free tickets are given away. You'll also be given loads of sweets.
One of the ways Edinburgh has dealt with low employment, job creation, and boosting city coffers is by cracking down on smokers dropping butts in the street. And good on them for doing it - it makes for a far more pleasant city to be in. But hang on to your fag ends till you find a bin, as if you drop it and get caught by one of the many environmental wardens roaming the streets, you're subject to an on the spot fine of £50. That's money far better spent on tickets and beer.
2. Hang around George Square, especially if you get there in previews week
Previews week is fantastic, as you can see shows on a budget. The big comics have all been sold out for months (at least, the cheap seats have, and Edinburgh tickets ain't cheap). But the smaller shows want big crowds in the first week, so that critics will write reviews mentioning the crowded houses and the show's apparent popularity, Many, many free tickets are given away. You'll also be given loads of sweets.
| 3. Go to something that sounds terrible Whether you're talking the Fringe official or one of the two Free Fringe off-shoots, there is A LOT to see in Edinburgh. You could spend the whole month just reading the guides and coming up with a shortlist. So go and see something with an awful name. | Cower Puny Humans as the Dark Prince of the Galactic Federation rains Atomic Death once more upon your Pitiful Planet - The Musical! |
Two of my best Edinburgh experiences involved shows with terrible names, including the legendarily awful/wonderful Xenu is Loose!! Cower Puny Humans as the Dark Prince of the Galactic Federation rains Atomic Death once more upon your Pitiful Planet - The Musical! It was amazing.
4. Stuff your face with dead pig
If you're doing Edinburgh on a budget, or if you just really like dead pig, or if you're equipped with taste buds and not avoiding pork for some reason, then you must eat at Oink. If you don't, you've wasted your trip. Pick your size of bun, choose between stuffing and haggis, ask for some crackling, and then top the whole thing off with a choice of sauces. Come out having spent around a fiver and not needing any more food for a month. You will know it by the dead pig in the window, but Oink can be found at 34 Victoria Street. Get there from 11am.
5. Forget the shows and soak up the sun
Edinburgh would be the perfect city if it weren't so cold. So when the sun does come out, don't waste a good day stuck in a smelly tent full of sweaty people. Buy a picnic and spend the day sitting on the Meadows, soaking up the sunshine and listening to the Lady Boys of Bangkok performing recent pop hits in their tent. Pull your finger out and walk up to the top of Arthur's Seat. I'm the laziest person in the world and I can do it in heels, so you have no excuse. Prepare to have your breath taken away at the top, by both the views and the astonishing winds. Head down to Portobello and go to the beach.
F1Kate
4. Stuff your face with dead pig
If you're doing Edinburgh on a budget, or if you just really like dead pig, or if you're equipped with taste buds and not avoiding pork for some reason, then you must eat at Oink. If you don't, you've wasted your trip. Pick your size of bun, choose between stuffing and haggis, ask for some crackling, and then top the whole thing off with a choice of sauces. Come out having spent around a fiver and not needing any more food for a month. You will know it by the dead pig in the window, but Oink can be found at 34 Victoria Street. Get there from 11am.
5. Forget the shows and soak up the sun
Edinburgh would be the perfect city if it weren't so cold. So when the sun does come out, don't waste a good day stuck in a smelly tent full of sweaty people. Buy a picnic and spend the day sitting on the Meadows, soaking up the sunshine and listening to the Lady Boys of Bangkok performing recent pop hits in their tent. Pull your finger out and walk up to the top of Arthur's Seat. I'm the laziest person in the world and I can do it in heels, so you have no excuse. Prepare to have your breath taken away at the top, by both the views and the astonishing winds. Head down to Portobello and go to the beach.
F1Kate
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