Of course 15 or so years from now I will be feeling quite the silly one. Not getting pregnant by boy or baster now, whilst my ovaries are bountiful, my uterus plush, life unstable and bank balance empty. Presenter and now official face of Regret-filled Older Mothers Kate Garraway knows this feeling all too well.
To alert and alarm the younger generation and create a healthy sense of 'EW' about older mothers Garraway was made up to look like a 70 year old in the later stages of pregnancy. Apparently the hope is to "shock and provoke debate about how old is too old to have a baby." Because I know we have never had this conversation before. Also I think there should be a campaign about the terrible shame of older brides. Can we see what China does to those'Leftover Women' please? Let's get that over here. Kate Garraway can use the same prosthetics for the campaign, but wear a BRIDAL VEIL.
The UK is at the top of its game in baby delaying (you can't stop them!), with UK women delaying having babies for longer than any other country according to the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development. | It forces me to make an immediate decision that there is no point in me making now |
What most annoys me about this subject, which can be private or not private - it's up to you - is that it makes all sides so aggressive. It makes me aggressive. It forces me to make an immediate decision that there is no point in me even making right now. I don't have a partner in any form, I don't know if I have the ability to conceive and I don't have the wherewithal to look after a child. On top of this I don't particularly like children. Well, that's not true. I like them when they become adults.
Therefore whenever the subject of young women giving birth (adoption or fostering doesn't seem to have come up in this campaign) I feel forced to shut the conversation down by announcing I'm not having children ever. When historian and curator Dr Lucy Worsley wrote: "I have been educated out of the natural reproductive function. I get to spend my time doing things I enjoy" she was accused of implying those who do have children lacked intellect.
Of course Worsley was simply refusing the label of Sad Barren Woman, pointing out she gets joy out of the freedom childlessness (and money and education) allows. This is seemingly a problem that is usually solved by saying women who (when pushed even though it's no-one's business) say they are childless by choice must be selfish. Rather than pragmatic, personally it is a big worry of mine I won't love any hypothetical children, by keeping them hypothetical I surely save myself and them a lot of resentment and therapy.
The idea women only regret not having children, or - as in Garraway's case - not having a brood of children to the point they wish they'd just got Jason from the petrol station down the road to take them behind the pumps that time is ridiculous. We are aware of diminishing fertility, it's all we ever hear about. How about concentrating on making every child a wanted child rather than every child a last grasp at societal norms?
Squeamish Kate