HA! HA! ALL GROOMS HATE THEIR BRIDE
Since reading about this online I have been toying with whether or not I want to write about it. I have never watched The Only Way is Essex, it took me a while to work out what The Guardian was going on about when they mentioned TOWIE (pronounced, I believe, ‘Towheee!’). But the recent images of a 30th birthday party brought home something I’ve been ruminating on for a while now.
Why the heck would anyone not only go so far as to reveal their desperation to get married but hold a wedding themed party in which they dress as a bride? Somehow that is even more of a pity party than marrying yourself. Which I’m sure is very EMPOWERING but you don’t get a tax break announcing your commitment to you for the foreseeable.
Why the heck would anyone not only go so far as to reveal their desperation to get married but hold a wedding themed party in which they dress as a bride? Somehow that is even more of a pity party than marrying yourself. Which I’m sure is very EMPOWERING but you don’t get a tax break announcing your commitment to you for the foreseeable.
TOWIE participant (I don’t know what you call someone who takes part in a scripted reality show) Chloe Sims recently celebrated her 30th by dressing up as a bride and having a mock wedding reception bash. Apparently Sims has now missed the main goal in a young woman’s life by not getting married before she hit 30. She will now be a wizened bride, should any man take pity on old Miss Havisham 2.
Let’s skip the whole Pink Princess cult thing, the fetishism of the girly and the desire for a wedding not a marriage. Let’s also gloss over Kim Kardashian’s second divorce and summarise that glitch in heterosexual land with this. Because I can no longer count how many times I have watched it and it still makes me laugh.
Let’s skip the whole Pink Princess cult thing, the fetishism of the girly and the desire for a wedding not a marriage. Let’s also gloss over Kim Kardashian’s second divorce and summarise that glitch in heterosexual land with this. Because I can no longer count how many times I have watched it and it still makes me laugh.
Instead what I want to look at is what it the importance and urgency of marriage really means to the single woman. Because I think we’re dismissing the frightening reasons and reducing wannabe bride anxiety to a simple desire to be a princess for a day.
I realise both sexes suffer from the humiliating and frankly odd question ‘Are you courting yet?’ from pre-puberty onward. However whilst boys become teenagers and then men the question remains a playful query, perhaps with an insinuation regarding the sowing of wild oats. My heart goes out to every squirming 6 year old boy fielding this question. If I ever have children I shall teach them the response to this question is, ‘No, because I’m a child’.
As a cis-girl, however, the question becomes tinged with a sense of urgency by 15. The questioner mentally shaking you by the shoulders and screeching ‘well, WHEN?!’ Men grab your left hand and ask ‘What’s wrong with him then?’ noting the lack of wedding ring. I know this is supposed to be a compliment. But I can’t help feeling there’s something of the neg about this. You have to admit you’re single (at your age?) and sit there whilst an air of desperation about you is conjured up by the suave gentleman enquirer. Married friends furrow their brows and fret over your single status.
And they are right to.
As a single woman I cannot afford to live alone. I am however slightly (oh so very slightly) beyond the age of the shared house. Everyone I know is in a Relationship with a capital R, so not looking for such a thing as a house share. Whether or not these rela-sorry, Relationships are happy is not the point, they are financially stable. The single me and the Relationship them only require a one bedroom flat.
The number of women out of work has hit a 23 year high; Labour’s Yvette Cooper says Osbourne’s deficit reduction plan takes £4.20 on average a week from men compared to £8.40 a week from women. The Fawcett Society’s Anna Bird commented, “Reducing women’s economic security in this way risks rolling back on women’s independence in every way. We are urging the Government to think twice about plans that risk pushing progress on women’s equality back a generation.”
Benefits many women depend on are being cut. Support services used primarily by women are being reduced. This means services such as childcare, social care, legal aid and support for victims of sexual and/or domestic violence are to be drastically reduced. The pay gap between men and women will most likely widen with the increasingly more qualified woman being paid less. Natch.
Women not only earn less on average than men but also own less and are more likely to retire in poverty.
Is it any wonder in 2011 marriage is starting to look like an economic necessity again?
Squeamish Kate
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I realise both sexes suffer from the humiliating and frankly odd question ‘Are you courting yet?’ from pre-puberty onward. However whilst boys become teenagers and then men the question remains a playful query, perhaps with an insinuation regarding the sowing of wild oats. My heart goes out to every squirming 6 year old boy fielding this question. If I ever have children I shall teach them the response to this question is, ‘No, because I’m a child’.
As a cis-girl, however, the question becomes tinged with a sense of urgency by 15. The questioner mentally shaking you by the shoulders and screeching ‘well, WHEN?!’ Men grab your left hand and ask ‘What’s wrong with him then?’ noting the lack of wedding ring. I know this is supposed to be a compliment. But I can’t help feeling there’s something of the neg about this. You have to admit you’re single (at your age?) and sit there whilst an air of desperation about you is conjured up by the suave gentleman enquirer. Married friends furrow their brows and fret over your single status.
And they are right to.
As a single woman I cannot afford to live alone. I am however slightly (oh so very slightly) beyond the age of the shared house. Everyone I know is in a Relationship with a capital R, so not looking for such a thing as a house share. Whether or not these rela-sorry, Relationships are happy is not the point, they are financially stable. The single me and the Relationship them only require a one bedroom flat.
The number of women out of work has hit a 23 year high; Labour’s Yvette Cooper says Osbourne’s deficit reduction plan takes £4.20 on average a week from men compared to £8.40 a week from women. The Fawcett Society’s Anna Bird commented, “Reducing women’s economic security in this way risks rolling back on women’s independence in every way. We are urging the Government to think twice about plans that risk pushing progress on women’s equality back a generation.”
Benefits many women depend on are being cut. Support services used primarily by women are being reduced. This means services such as childcare, social care, legal aid and support for victims of sexual and/or domestic violence are to be drastically reduced. The pay gap between men and women will most likely widen with the increasingly more qualified woman being paid less. Natch.
Women not only earn less on average than men but also own less and are more likely to retire in poverty.
Is it any wonder in 2011 marriage is starting to look like an economic necessity again?
Squeamish Kate
Related Posts
Men, how to avoid the ultimate deception
Mysterious Ms title petition
Sisterhood balance jam and commentary
Cameron wants women to calm down and vote for him
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