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Watch and Learn

8/1/2014

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PictureImage: Jiří Zralý
It is all thanks to TV really, that any of us know how to act like real people. Who knows what would become of us if we didn't have the TV Guide (if you will. And you will) to help us negotiate life as a Single Woman Lawyer or a Flatmate or Pensive Older Male. TV helps us know our limits. Older male looking for a place in life? Have you tried smouldering and being interchangeably intimidating and wise? Young sexy lady? Girl, find your inner ditz - don't ever sort yourself out and never become financially independent or old ya hear?! Young man? Play the field - maybe in a hat! You're a gay young man? Oh honey you don't get a life you get sassy comeback lines Ok? Ok. Older woman? Sorry -who? No, I... I didn't hear you, say again? Older what now? No, there's no story arc for you here. Do you want to be a mean and bitter mother? You only appear via someone younger's silences on the phone though.

We are all pretty well versed in the possibilities of single women characters, Lexi Nisista takes us through the basics on Refinery29. "Bradshaw and McBeal in particular stand out from the other women of their time because of their sheer rawness. They freaked out, they made bad decisions, they were messy and imperfect."

The older women on TV though...that's kind of limited and you can't make mistakes. Those reckless days are over lady and all you have to show for it is the very usual 1 in 4 women have it HPV virus. And possibly a sporadic outbreak of oral herpes. Older women may occasionally look wistfully at themselves in the mirror and recall their glory days of yore. This makes it clear that you understand those days are OVER.
One older woman has clearly not been watching TV. 55 year old Candace Krick of Colorado has missed her cue to disappear and instead taken part in her photographer daughter Natalie Krick's project. The Daily Mail calls her "brave".

we don't dislike older women but we don't really see them.

Natalie Krick's series of photographs of her mother entitled Natural Deceptions feature Candace in various sexy poses and outfits, mimicking younger women's racy shoots. The Daily Mail covered the project with the headline "Sexy or embarrassing? Mother, 55, strikes Playboy-style poses for daughter's photo project to challenge society's views of older women" rather unwittingly upholding society's views on older women.

Krick told NY Mag the act of photographing her mother in such poses has thrown up questions such as "Is this who I am going to be when I grow up? Am I going to turn into this woman?" If I were Krick I'd kind of hope so. The reactions have been varied and opinionated: "There's this Skittles photo that look like she has erect nipples ... I mean, it's funny. We both thought it was hilarious. I remember showing this photograph in grad school at one of my reviews and one of the men in the room was like, 'This is not funny. She should be embarrassed that her headlights are on.' I think a lot of the time, people view my work as a critique against my mom. I think that some of the pictures make them uncomfortable - like, this is an older woman being sexualized. I think it’s really powerful but can also make people uneasy and sometimes they lash out."

The photos throw up an interesting dichotomy, society is undecided on the overtly sexy lady as it is. We like to look at them but we don't like them. And we don't dislike older women but we don't really see them. Combine the two and we find it kind of rude, not rude as in lewd but how dare you demand attention.

Older women should see their invisibility as a blank slate. With the official middle age being pushed up to around 47 thanks to increased longevity we should see this as an opportunity to define (I say define and not redefine because arguably there's little precedent) what and who an older woman is. Because one day she's going to be you.

By the way if you're male and happen not to be hot you can still get laid. Expect only hot chicks. About to sleep with someone for the first time? It's good for comic effect to be anxious about your genitals. Perhaps one ball is bigger than the other? Or you are worried it (you know, IT) isn't big enough. It is endearing for your audience. It's been a schlong time coming but men now also have a documentary to refer to when it comes to penis anxiety. Please check out Unhung Hero, it is for you.

Squeamish Kate
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