But I don't want to talk about my concern for nipples with man made holes in them. I just spent a weekend in a field for a festival. Over the weekend occasionally the sun came out and when it did men of all ages would whip off their shirts and parade around topless. This is fine. I mean it's not fine with me, in my mind only a certain type of man pounds the streets or fields sans shirt. But socially it is fine. Toned belly, fat belly, pecs so muscular they can be made to dance at will, moobs. The sun makes it OK to let it all hang out. Man nipples ahoy.
Most women would not whip off their tops. Not just because they might think their stomach not taut enough, or their skin not tanned enough. To take off their bra might impede walking at speed. Mainly though they would not whip off their tops because it is deemed a public indecency to expose lady nipple. Potentially milky, functional lady nipple.
But usually it is the redundant that disgusts us. A harmless skin tag or benign tumour protruding from the body, a hairy mole or birthmark. They aren't doing anything and because they have no clear function we wrinkle our noses and say 'ew, see that person who is flashing their body part that has no clear purpose'.
The male nipple should, by extension of this rule, due to its redundancy be the body part we find most repellent. It is not. Male nipples are in (or out!) female nipples are out (or in) and ideally erotic. Anything, anything, so we don't have to think about how they can function.
So how come we are so repelled when we see that fertility proven?
The preference for blonde hair, perky breasts, slimness* and - lately - hairlessness are all attributed to an evolutionary desire to look for a young and fertile mate. So how come we are so repelled when we see that fertility proven?
Because we equate it with an expelling of waste perhaps? Recently Stephanie Wilby was asked to stop breastfeeding her daughter in the toddler pool. It was not being asked to stop breastfeeding that upset Wilby so much - those who breastfeed their infants are used to disapproval - but the manner in which she was told to stop. "They made a real scene. They were saying me breastfeeding was indecent exposure...But I was covered more than most of the other swimmers."
A staff member at the Manchester pool justified his actions and confirmed my suspicions regarding breastfeeding being equated with expelling from our body by saying he would kick a man out of the pool for urinating - hence his request for Stephanie Wilby to leave the pool and go to a toilet if she wished to continue feeding.
I don't know how I feel about this. But I can't think of a single reason as to why I should be so indecisive and that makes me feel ashamed. Therefore I am persuaded to take the side of Stephanie Wilby. And politely request equal rights for all nipples.
*I say slimness meaning not very thin, nor very fat and therefore the popular notion of a healthy body.