It is hard to know how to critique these actions. I for one don't want to discourage men involving themselves in feminism. It's easy to unintentionally give the impression you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. I certainly am of the school of feminism that invites men to identify as feminist (none of this pro-feminist male rubbish), which is why the art of being an ally needs to be addressed. How do you conduct yourself in a feminist space? | Sometimes it is not a question of 'I understand you' but 'I believe you'. |
How best can you show your support and be an ally? It is not simply a question of sitting back and listening to the others. Or so it appears – because if it were that easy every ally would be doing it. The trouble is everybody is entitled to their opinion and if you are a member of a group that practises democracy then you are invited to voice it. Here's a short guideline that might help...
1. Learn to listen but, more importantly, listen to learn.
2. If your statements all start in “I” they might not be as relevant to the group as they are to you.
3.Think about what you want to get out of this meeting. Is it congratulations and gratitude for your right-onness or real activism?
4. Question yourself. That thing you're struggling to justify? Instead of rushing to defend it consider this: could it be it's just plain old misogyny?
Feminists need to not only stick together, but really value each other. For the men who wish to be a part of this movement? Sometimes it is not a question of 'I understand you' but 'I believe you'.
Squeamish Kate