Squeamish Bikini
  • Home
  • Squeamish Features
  • Squeamish Reviews
  • Squeamish News
  • Squeamish Contact
  • About Squeamish

Stalking Beauty

18/7/2012

1 Comment

 
Picture
Or is it..? Image: Harshlight
Perhaps because the princess features so little in it, even though she's supposed to be the main protagonist, Sleeping Beauty is one of my favourite Disney films. Maleficent is of the same school of Snow White's evil queen step mother, devastatingly beautiful, elegant and bloodily glamorous. These Disney films probably inspired little girls not into a life of worthy drudgery awaiting their prince but to dream of the day they would be allowed to wear blood red lipstick and have minions.

At least we know what happens to the villainesses in Disney films. OK they die but they die doing what they love and how many people can say that (not many and not just because death is more than a Facebook status). This is probably why Maleficent is now being portrayed by Angelina Jolie in a new film all about her. She's the star! It's the princesses I feel sorry for, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. Death could be sweet but they've got the task of living happily ever after with a man they've had one effing duet with.

Picture
Oh see look now, much happier. Image: Harshlight
In fact all they know is that their man apparently falls head over heels in love at the drop of a hat. Who knows what fair maiden lies forgotten, hoping he just fell off his steed (it could HAPPEN) and has not run off and married someone else on the grounds that when he met her she couldn't answer back. These are not the foundations of a healthy relationship. 

It seems like only now are we learning what does happen to the fairy princess. She becomes obsessed with the Prince and quickly takes on the traits of a stalker. At least in a new version of Sleeping Beauty envisaged by 21 Jump Street producer Neal Moritz. Helping Moritz realise his proposed Disney Bitches be Crazy project are writers Mike Gagerman and Andrew Waller. I invite you to make of that what you will. Oh yeah AND it's a comedy. Ha ha. 

There have already been comments that Sleeping Beauty can't possibly be the stalker because she could only be awoken by her one true love. But even before the Brothers Grimm there is nothing to say true love is always requited. Belle truly falls in love with the Beast, not the man he turns into once her love breaks the curse – I bet it was totally awkward for a while after that. How could the princess live with a man who knew the grudging yet unspeakable lengths she would go to in order to please a frog? When Snow White had time to think about it, did she worry she was marrying a necrophiliac? 

We are pretty happy for our fairy tales to be a wildly unhinged provided it's in the name of love. If we are willing to accept the examples above as scenarios of true love then I think we can accept the notion of unrequited true love. Which is no less obscene than the idea of love at first sight or just settling down with the person you're reasonably comfortable with now. 

In fact I'd argue we are pretty happy for our real life relationships to be at least a little unhinged. The modern fairy tale, model marries chef, they have lots of lovely, imaginatively named children (yes I am linking this to Jools Oliver, go with it) and she regularly reads his texts, emails and tweets. “Yeah, I’ll check his email. I’ll check his Twitter. I’ll check his phone. Everything seems fine. He says I'm a jealous girl, but I think I’m fairly laid-back, considering.”  

Considering what? Considering maybe that her husband Jamie Oliver broadcast on Radio 5 Live that “I just think marriage is comedy really, it's absolute comedy, to love someone so dearly but also despise them at the same time is absolutely comedy.” But also considering that Jools clearly knows other wives and girlfriends who are worse. 

A recent XOJane article asking about male friends sparked a thread of comments posted by women lamenting the loss of their male friends as they got married or moved in with girlfriends who struggled to tell the difference between 'This is Hayley*, we've been friends since school' and 'This is Hayley, she's a whore'. Is that true love?

Could the stalking character in this fairy tale be any other than Sleeping Beauty? Definitely not if it's going to be sold as laughing fodder. A male stalker is unsettling, a girl stalker is a Reese Witherspoon vehicle, surely? Which is the problem here (the other problem is that I'm a feminist and take such things WAY too seriously). Why is that fair? Stalking on the Sleeping Beauty level here is a crime, in the name of love or no. And when did borderline female stalking behaviour become acceptable? Why are we so OK with women being that insecure in their relationships that we make light of it in articles and films? Of course this Sleeping Beauty reinterpretation might handle the subject so well and so hilariously I take all this back but until then I still think it brings up a subject worth thinking about. 

*This name was picked at random, I don't know a Hayley! Hayley if you're reading this I expect you're lovely.

Squeamish Kate "Touch the spindle, touch it I say" 

submit to reddit
1 Comment
Squeamish Nicola
23/7/2012 01:52:39 am

'This is Hayley, she's a whore' made me laugh out loud! It's so funny when you can actually see it on the girlfriend's face. Like those where the words that were actually spoken but she'll smile (with her mouth and not her eyes) and say 'Nice to meet you Hayley (I MEAN WHOOOOOORE!)' Oh well what can you do?

I can't remember this film very well but I know it was seen as a risky role for Audrey as she was pretty much the embodiment of Disney in Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain. All I do know is she is getting her stalker on in this film and there's a twist. Let's all watch À la folie... pas du tout aka. He Loves Me....He Loves Me Not and find out what happens!

Unless you fancy a bit of girl on girl stalker action. It's a 90s classic SWF....yes, Single White Female. I am constantly getting the same hair cuts as my besties but that doesn't make me a stalker!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011

    Categories

    All
    Books
    Booze
    Cinematic
    Dress Up
    Educating Sue
    Educating Sue
    Friday 5
    Friday 5
    Geekery
    Gender Agender
    Gender Agender
    Glitter And Twisted
    Glitter And Twisted
    History Repeating
    History Repeating
    How To
    Just A Thought
    Just A Thought
    Let's Get Political
    Let's Get Political
    Music
    Nom Nom Nom
    Nostalgia
    Tellybox
    Why You Should Love

    RSS Feed


Squeamish Bikini

About
Contact us
Write for us

Newsletter

Picture
     Copyright © 2013