I think we can all agree that the peculiarly slow, nay laissez-faire world response to the 200 abducted girls in Nigeria by Boko Haram was odd, or questionable and could be potentially tragic. It took ages for celebrities to get it together enough to take a selfie of them holding bits of paper saying #BringBackOurGirls, David Cameron seemed a little spooked to be filmed definitely aligning himself with the side that would like the girls to be returned rather than sold into slavery on the Andrew Marr Show. But another strange reaction to the dire situation has been the resurrection of the #RealMenDon'tBuyGirls campaign, which involved male celebrities doing 'concerned face' whilst holding a sign saying the aforementioned hashtag for the anti child sex slavery campaign and swearing off wild parties with coke and sex workers I suppose...Or getting caught at wild parties with sex workers and coke. Or certainly not PAYING for any of it.
At the time the well meant but misled campaign was annoying. Now, to see it shoehorned in to the campaign to galvanise Goodluck Jonathan into action. Well, I just don't know... I think it vindicates those who remain a little cynical about celebrities who leap on a social media trending altruism bandwagon.
It also brings up the weird question again of what we actually mean when we say 'real'. Real women have curves. Real men find a person their agede willing to fellate them for free. Why do we constantly think we can only assert ideas by evoking crises in masculinity and/or femininity?
I thought real women were people who identified as women but, as noted here, here and here (thanks Dove I'm so much more confident now your products have actualised me as a person) real women need to do more than just say they are a woman. You only have to see various memes about curves to know that a real woman jiggles. Australian boy band/prankster group The Janoskians just released a Real Girls Eat Cake video.
I realise this is a hamfisted (real women eat ham) attempt to counteract women's magazines fondness for diet sections, circle of shame features and photoshopping away any roundness. But it also, you know, dismisses a massive amount of people who identify as women whether their butts are tinier than a baked good or so big they regularly knock items off shelves in endearing moments we all laugh about affectionately and at no-one's expense.
It also brings up the weird question again of what we actually mean when we say 'real'. Real women have curves. Real men find a person their agede willing to fellate them for free. Why do we constantly think we can only assert ideas by evoking crises in masculinity and/or femininity?
I thought real women were people who identified as women but, as noted here, here and here (thanks Dove I'm so much more confident now your products have actualised me as a person) real women need to do more than just say they are a woman. You only have to see various memes about curves to know that a real woman jiggles. Australian boy band/prankster group The Janoskians just released a Real Girls Eat Cake video.
I realise this is a hamfisted (real women eat ham) attempt to counteract women's magazines fondness for diet sections, circle of shame features and photoshopping away any roundness. But it also, you know, dismisses a massive amount of people who identify as women whether their butts are tinier than a baked good or so big they regularly knock items off shelves in endearing moments we all laugh about affectionately and at no-one's expense.
| As with all things directed at women, the Real Women memes and campaigns are all about their bodies and how they can be right or wrong. | Hey! Real men don't buy sex, they get interns... |
When it comes to men it's all about action and agency. There's the mysteriously revived campaign of three or so years ago, begun by Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to combat child sex slavery, Real Men Don't Buy Girls.
A good cause to draw attention to but considering that trafficking is often wrongly conflated with sex work, (not to mention the common use of girls and women interchangeably in common parlance) a confused message could be inferred. You might as well say real men deny a section of women their right to work. Hey! Real men don't buy sex, they get interns...
This year the charity Women's Aid is hoping to reach their target of 100,000 signatories taking the Real Man pledge. Those signing agree these three things make a Real Man:
I'm not criticising the Women's Aid campaign, I'm noting the different uses of real and not real and the reliance on gender binaries. Real men, it seems, make choices. A Real Man uses his manliness to spread social justice. Real women pudge out and criticise other 'women' for not doing so. It's kind of telling, of how much difference we think women can make in the world.
Squeamish Kate
A good cause to draw attention to but considering that trafficking is often wrongly conflated with sex work, (not to mention the common use of girls and women interchangeably in common parlance) a confused message could be inferred. You might as well say real men deny a section of women their right to work. Hey! Real men don't buy sex, they get interns...
This year the charity Women's Aid is hoping to reach their target of 100,000 signatories taking the Real Man pledge. Those signing agree these three things make a Real Man:
- A 'Real Man' doesn't hit, abuse or control
- A 'Real Man' doesn't hurt the ones he loves
- A 'Real Man' makes a difference
I'm not criticising the Women's Aid campaign, I'm noting the different uses of real and not real and the reliance on gender binaries. Real men, it seems, make choices. A Real Man uses his manliness to spread social justice. Real women pudge out and criticise other 'women' for not doing so. It's kind of telling, of how much difference we think women can make in the world.
Squeamish Kate
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