Image: Greta Ceresini Recently Jezebel writerLindy West wrote about discussing the concept of 'ugly' with her 12 year old step daughter. Having realised that it's incredibly useful to be aware of how arbitrary the qualifiers for 'ugly' can be, West hoped to convey this idea to her step daughter. But, as West points out, children are increasingly brought up by the media - you can't entirely stop the media's attitudes and standards creeping into your child's consciousness (or yours, for that matter) and we have a history of books, films and TV shows that use 'ugly' as a signifier of a person's status as 'baddy'. A pretty woman in a fairy tale is pretty because she's good. And maybe a little cloying. But that's okay. Know why? 'Cos she's pretty and if she wants to keep everyone thinking that she will know not to say anything. Pretty is doing as you're told.
Bolstered by Liz Boulter's suggested"equal ugliness" campaign and her step daughter's re-evaluation of a boy from ugly to "not as cute as everyone thinks" West concludes that what we need are more 'ugly' people on TV. As Boulter says: "Men of all ages can still be on the BBC when they're fat or less than gorgeous in some other way. Nick Robinson's glasses and bald head didn't stop him winning the political editor job, but if you're female you seem to need the looks of an Emily Maitlis or Fiona Bruce - as well as talent - to be successful."
Now, however, we are finding pretty isn't good enough. We want more but nothing too challenging. No nuanced ideas about wit making someone's face shine or enthusiasm to learn being attractive. Naw, let's just make sexy a new qualifier for pretty. And everybody has to live up to it. YEAH! As West notes: "And anyway, when did sexual attraction become the sole metric for physical beauty? Is a sunset "ugly" just because you don't want to fuck it? What about a waterfall? A horse? Ireland? A song?"
Writing in the Telegraph Hannah Betts recalls a recent discussion with a friend's 8 year old daughter. The daughter says her friendship group are friends because they have long blonde hair and a fondness for fake fur jackets in common. Come on, they're 8 and marriages have been based on less. However when discussing The Girl Nobody Likes (there's always one and I'm very sorry if that was you.) it became clear that the girl did not meet the class's aesthetic standards. She also apparently has a history of being divisive in her attempts at friendships - but who wouldn't get a little bitter at being shunned over failing to meet the arbitrary beauty standards set in class.
Now, however, we are finding pretty isn't good enough. We want more but nothing too challenging. No nuanced ideas about wit making someone's face shine or enthusiasm to learn being attractive. Naw, let's just make sexy a new qualifier for pretty. And everybody has to live up to it. YEAH! As West notes: "And anyway, when did sexual attraction become the sole metric for physical beauty? Is a sunset "ugly" just because you don't want to fuck it? What about a waterfall? A horse? Ireland? A song?"
Writing in the Telegraph Hannah Betts recalls a recent discussion with a friend's 8 year old daughter. The daughter says her friendship group are friends because they have long blonde hair and a fondness for fake fur jackets in common. Come on, they're 8 and marriages have been based on less. However when discussing The Girl Nobody Likes (there's always one and I'm very sorry if that was you.) it became clear that the girl did not meet the class's aesthetic standards. She also apparently has a history of being divisive in her attempts at friendships - but who wouldn't get a little bitter at being shunned over failing to meet the arbitrary beauty standards set in class.
| Our increasingly strong belief that glossy TV shows and films are not things to vaguely aspire to or fantasise about during a school exam or dull meeting but actually live out aesthetically has simultaneously dulled our taste for the tongue in cheek. | there is an unhelpful attitude towards 'ugly' women...and that is "why doesn't she do something about it?" |
WhenClueless came out the biggest joke was the idea that this microcosm of extremely privileged teenagers had their own mobile phones and pagers. HILARIOUS! One of them had had a nose job in her teens! Haha IMPLAUSIBLE! And while Cher et al all presented perfectly French manicured nails I don't think it occurred to many teens and pre-teens (tweens hadn't been invented by capitalism just yet) that the characters might have had their nails professionally done as we shakily tippexed the tips of our nails. Just like Cher!
I realise I am coming dangerously close to sounding like I might move on to telling you how when I was a child all I needed to amuse myself was a big stick and space to run about. But it does seem that when once DIY and making do with whatever was free and sellotaped to J17 was fine now you have to have the real thing. Although many a YouTube how-to shows this isn't true and plenty of people are improvising I'm confident that more and more there is an unhelpful attitude towards 'ugly' women or girls and that is "why doesn't she do something about it?"
Time was we laughed at the shallow. The joke now is when we reveal a flaw, no when we reveal any depth through anything other than physicality. Living by the rules of the Daily Mail heartbreak is demonstrated by 'losing her curves' to be happy is to 'flaunt endless legs' and to be in love is to 'love her new curves'. And remember, on Wednesdays we wear pink and we don't cry, we ugly cry.
Squeamish Kate
I realise I am coming dangerously close to sounding like I might move on to telling you how when I was a child all I needed to amuse myself was a big stick and space to run about. But it does seem that when once DIY and making do with whatever was free and sellotaped to J17 was fine now you have to have the real thing. Although many a YouTube how-to shows this isn't true and plenty of people are improvising I'm confident that more and more there is an unhelpful attitude towards 'ugly' women or girls and that is "why doesn't she do something about it?"
Time was we laughed at the shallow. The joke now is when we reveal a flaw, no when we reveal any depth through anything other than physicality. Living by the rules of the Daily Mail heartbreak is demonstrated by 'losing her curves' to be happy is to 'flaunt endless legs' and to be in love is to 'love her new curves'. And remember, on Wednesdays we wear pink and we don't cry, we ugly cry.
Squeamish Kate
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