The march has been organised by feminist campaigners UK Feminista and performance artists The Muffia, who use body hair as their main theme. Hence the name, of course. Using slogans such as “I love my vagina!” and “Keep your mitts off our muffs” the main message of the march is the crazy notion that our Business is our business.
But does this trend in vaginal modification stem from porn culture or the notion of the vulva as dirty?
Channel 4 programme Embarrassing Teen Bodies asked students at a Fresher’s Fair how much pubic hair was hygienic on a woman. According to the students, the vulva cannot withstand any presence of pubic hair. I don’t know what happens, it falls off or something, but any pubic hair would induce filth, infection and beasties. Which is amusing (to me) because In the 1450s a shaven pubic area was a sure sign that a prostitute was suffering from pubic lice, merkins were used to conceal signs of syphilis or other STDs. Yep, a bald vulva sounds zinging right now.
Little to no research has gone into the penis and testicles amazing immunity to dirt, allowing pubic hair to remain. I’ve yet to see any purifying penis spray but there’s a whole area in chemists devoted to feminine hygiene.
If you so wish to spend huge amounts of money on your genitalia, then by all means go ahead. Might stimulate the economy if nothing else. As a feminist I fully support your choice to lovingly brush or remove your pubic hair. Bald or fuzzy, give it a wash and a smear test and your vulva will be happy and healthy.
Undergoing surgery, however, due to a concern over how your genitals have arranged themselves does seem sad. Unless of course they’ve arranged themselves on your forehead. Especially for those women under the impression what they see in porn is the norm and (forgive the rhyme) they must conform. This is something worth marching against.
I would like to think the march isn’t against all kinds of modification of the vulva so much as against the idea there’s only one type of ‘vagina’. The female genitalia isn’t some kind of football chant, THERE’S ONLY ONE TYPE OF VULVA! Though, now I think about it… that does flow awful well.
The Muff March will take place on Saturday 10th December at 11.30am on Harley Street, London. Look for the giant muffs.