Movie monsters can act as metaphors for the horrors lurking just beneath the fabric of society. Or, they can act as popcorn-fodder, and that's what we're looking at today. We are going to dust off the crystal ball and ask: “what’s next?”
Vampires and zombies are the old stalwarts of horror, and won’t die off any time soon (ba-doom-tish). But despite the appearance of sparkly vamps and dextrous zombies, there’s no getting away from the fact both groups are starting to look a little tired. Vamps have been sinking their teeth into us since the early days of cinema, and zombies are everywhere now – they’re so passé, darling.
There must be other creatures of the night out there, waiting for their big break…
Vampires and zombies are the old stalwarts of horror, and won’t die off any time soon (ba-doom-tish). But despite the appearance of sparkly vamps and dextrous zombies, there’s no getting away from the fact both groups are starting to look a little tired. Vamps have been sinking their teeth into us since the early days of cinema, and zombies are everywhere now – they’re so passé, darling.
There must be other creatures of the night out there, waiting for their big break…
Grrr...arrrgh... picture by Gareth
Mummies
Why they might be the next big thing
Like their less bandaged cousins zombies they’ve been a solid B-list monster movie favourite since the 60s. If zombies can make it why not mummies?
Thundercats has just returned – maybe Mumm-Ra is leading the charge. Well, shuffle.
Why they probably won’t
It’s hard to have a mummy as your bad guy without invoking Scooby Doo. Yoiks! Well, it’s that or revisit the Mummy films, and Brendan Fraser isn’t as young as he used to be.
And forget about trying to make the mummy appealing as a character – covering up the faces and abs of steel of your star in rotting bandages isn’t going to appeal to the tweenie market, and teenagers buying cinema tickets so they can get off with each other in the back row is a major pillar of the film industry.
Ghosts
Why they might be the next big thing
Sorry to break this to you, but Ghost came out 21 years ago! Considering they are already remaking Spider-Man (a film that came out less than a decade ago) this is practically a Neolithic cave painting in Hollywood terms. Surely a remake is in order.
Plus a love story between two people who are unable to touch– this stuff practically writes itself and is perfect for angsty shots of anguished teen stars filmed over an emo soundtrack.
Why they probably won’t
Done right, they can certainly provide some good scares. But let’s face it, they just don’t have enough substance to hold a plot together.
Trolls
Why they might be the next big thing
Lots of people already think they might be – the Norwegian movie Troll Hunters is already getting a US remake and no less than Del Toro himself also has a troll-based movie in the pipe-line.
Why they probably won’t
While the thought of someone leaving misspelled racist comments all over the internet might bring you out in a cold sweat, we’re actually talking about the mythical creature. And how much can you really do with a monster whose main purpose in life is to sit under a bridge and terrorise goats?
Why they might be the next big thing
Sorry to break this to you, but Ghost came out 21 years ago! Considering they are already remaking Spider-Man (a film that came out less than a decade ago) this is practically a Neolithic cave painting in Hollywood terms. Surely a remake is in order.
Plus a love story between two people who are unable to touch– this stuff practically writes itself and is perfect for angsty shots of anguished teen stars filmed over an emo soundtrack.
Why they probably won’t
Done right, they can certainly provide some good scares. But let’s face it, they just don’t have enough substance to hold a plot together.
Trolls
Why they might be the next big thing
Lots of people already think they might be – the Norwegian movie Troll Hunters is already getting a US remake and no less than Del Toro himself also has a troll-based movie in the pipe-line.
Why they probably won’t
While the thought of someone leaving misspelled racist comments all over the internet might bring you out in a cold sweat, we’re actually talking about the mythical creature. And how much can you really do with a monster whose main purpose in life is to sit under a bridge and terrorise goats?
picture by Gareth
Minotaurs
Why they might be the next big thing
Don’t they just sound ideal for a teen flick? The outfit consists of tight, skimpy leather trousers and not much else – perfect for showing off the smoking hot body of your star.
Why they probably won’t
… oh yeah, they have a cow’s head. Nobody wants to snog a cow. Well, nobody I’d want to hang out with.
So what have we learned? Maybe there’s a reason certain monsters have stayed with us so long (other than Hollywood’s obsession with re-imaginings, re-tellings and remakes, I mean). I don’t know about you, but I’m off to sharpen some stakes, eat some garlic, and make sure my zombie escape plans are up to date.
Squeamish Louise
Occasionally Queasy Gareth
Squeamish Louise
Occasionally Queasy Gareth
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