Squeamish Bikini
  • Home
  • Squeamish Features
  • Squeamish Reviews
  • Squeamish News
  • Squeamish Contact
  • About Squeamish

Madonna gets her biopic out

6/9/2011

5 Comments

 
Picture
The wax Duke and Duchess of Windsor Photo: Herb Neufield
When Squeamish Louise and I started this website one of the, frankly stifling rules, set was ‘No Snarking’. Today I break this rule and we refine it to ‘No Body Snarking’. The other rule was ‘Don’t Write Crap’, I leave it to you to decide when or if that’s gone out the window.

Madonna’s biopic (I use the term loosely) of Wallis Simpson has been pretty comprehensively trashed. It was unlikely to be popular, all Madonna’s projects outside of pop have been panned and with Wallis Simpson as her subject for this foray why should this one be different. Hoping to emulate the anachronistic style last seen in Sophia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette, Madonna has instead created a Wallis Simpson meets Carrie Bradshaw vehicle. I have mentioned before I hate anachronisms and value accurate period details so you can probably guess what I think about Wallis Simpson leaping up and dancing to The Sex Pistol’s Pretty Vacant.

King Edward has been flatteringly portrayed as a deep voiced and passionate young man by James D'arcy, instead of the middle aged, reedy voiced man still winking at the cameras and writing letters in baby-speak when he married Simpson.

It’s an interesting enough time in history without occasionally jumping forward to the 1990s to a woman called Wally who, like, totally identifies with Wallis. People can’t bear those historical figures we care to remember not having modern sympathies and tastes, 2010’s The Duchess pandered more to the emancipated woman than authenticity but at least Georgiana didn’t return from the grave to haunt a woman who, like, totally identified with her just in case anyone in the audience got bored.

The Kings Speech and the recent discovery of letters betraying Wallis’ continued love for her husband Ernest Simpson after her third marriage haven’t ignited any kind of thirst for knowledge about her. And while I think it’s great we put more women in history to the forefront of our media world I also think we have better candidates of those women who seem to have been ignored.

There are so many women who are part of the Great Ignored I would love to see a film about, here’s my list.

Bessie Smith. This woman asks for pigfoot, a reefer and a bottle of beer in song. Singing about gin was also in her repertoire. Smith died in two horrific car accidents. To find out how that is even possible a biopic will have to be made.

Kiki De Montparnasse. Muse to many, slave to none Kiki is quoted as saying “All I need is an onion, a bit of bread, and a bottle of red." Let Man Ray draw in her eyebrows as purple and was nude most of the time. A serious film with nudity in it? It screams Oscar!

Djuna Barnes. This beauty had an acerbic wit, often displayed when ungratefully receiving a regular stipend from Peggy Guggenheim. Barnes wrote the hilarious Ladies Almanack featuring disguised pen portraits of all the lesbians on the Paris scene in the 1920s.

Dolly Wilde. As you might expect Oscar Wilde’s niece was a mythomane to extremes. A Lover of Natalie Barney, addicted to heroin and alcohol by the end. Doll Furious died alone in mysterious circumstances.

If you think I have missed someone out (this being a list of 4 I will have) who is deserving of some Squeamish Bikini attention then let me know here.

Squeamish Kate
5 Comments
Coco
5/9/2011 10:49:20 pm

Would a film about Jean Rhys be too depressing? Merchant Ivory's Quartet wasn't that good!

Reply
Squeamish Kate link
6/9/2011 12:01:40 am

I always think Good Morning, Midnight would make a good film and is, arguably, autobiographical. I didn't know Quartet was ever made into a film.

Reply
Kate W link
6/9/2011 02:37:30 am

All of the awesome lady racing drivers whose stories have disappeared into the mists of time!

Five to get you started:

Helle Nice
Mildred Bruce
Kay Petre
Violet Cordery
Bill Wisdom

Reply
Squeamish Kate link
6/9/2011 02:50:11 am

Oh Kate W, everybody knows women don't drive!

Reply
Gareth
6/9/2011 03:24:52 am

No Kate - everyone knows women drive badly.

Wally sure lives up to her name - anyone who fantasises about someone who was good friends with Hitler really should think about going to a psychiatrist.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011

    Categories

    All
    Books
    Booze
    Cinematic
    Dress Up
    Educating Sue
    Educating Sue
    Friday 5
    Friday 5
    Geekery
    Gender Agender
    Gender Agender
    Glitter And Twisted
    Glitter And Twisted
    History Repeating
    History Repeating
    How To
    Just A Thought
    Just A Thought
    Let's Get Political
    Let's Get Political
    Music
    Nom Nom Nom
    Nostalgia
    Tellybox
    Why You Should Love

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Pink Sherbet Photography, anunez619, NikRugby23!, Asso Pixiel