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Loose Opinions

14/10/2014

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You can usually rely on the TV show Loose Women for a controversial quote, just as you can rely on the Daily Mail comment section for some horrific opinions - that they are totally entitled to no matter how damaging! Free speech and all that. Yesterday Judy Finnegan made her Loose Women debut and during a discussion about Ched Evans made the kind of comments that might best have been preceded with the popular but senseless phrase "to be fair" (to alert you to unfairness) and perhaps "I'm not a rapist, but..." (to alert you to a comment that supports rape). On a show about women, for women Finnegan joined in the throng of people who question what the victim of a rape was thinking, rather than the rapist. 

Speaking about the imminent release of the footballer who raped a 19 year old woman and whether he should return to Sheffield United Finnegan said: "He's served his time. The rape - and I am not, please, by any means minimising any kind of rape - but the rape was not violent. He didn't cause any bodily harm to the person.

"It was unpleasant, in a hotel room, I believe, and she was - she had far too much to drink. And you know, that is reprehensible, but he has been convicted and he has served his time."

Of course comments on the story in the Daily Mail range from an observation that "if this show had been hosted by men it would have been taken off the air years ago". Ah yes, and yet Top Gear remains... to a comment saying the case was not clear cut and parts of it "have always troubled me". Not the rape part though, it seems. 
Why do we do this? Why do we so often excuse rape? I can only think that it is because it is so inhumane, so violent and such an abuse of power that we find it hard to deal with unless we can attribute it only to a certain kind of unappealing man. When we can put a face to the rapist and it is that of a young man with so much potential in his career...well, why wouldn't that woman or girl want to sleep with him?

The question is not 'what is wrong with him?' but 'what is wrong with her?' We do this and then wonder why women might have low self esteem.

The question is not 'what is wrong with him?' but 'what is wrong with her?' We do this and then wonder why women might have low self esteem. A study launched to coincide with Body Confidence Week has recently found that that 10 million women are depressed about their body image. 

The Be Real campaign group which aims to change attitudes towards body image's chair Caroline Nokes MP says: "Low body confidence is a critical public health issue that we cannot ignore. It affects everyone - all ages, both sexes - and starts as young as five years old.

"Through this campaign, we're driving change through three priority areas. We want to ensure children and young people are educated about body confidence from an early age, to promote healthy living and wellbeing over weight loss and appearance, and to encourage the media, business and advertisers to recognise diversity and positively reflect what we really look like."

How can you nurture women and girls to love themselves, to just accept themselves when we so clearly choose not to value them, or believe them? We need to recognise that this goes way beyond looks. It goes beyond this constant trying to 'correct' women and girls. Try to correct men and boys. 

Squeamish Kate
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