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Keep Mum on other's Business

14/4/2014

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PictureImage: Dave Bleasdale
We all have expectations thrust (thrust!) upon us. It's a way to make us keep up with the Joneses and buy stuff. Whether the media is warning women against'Dudeism' and telling men to be grossed out by lady stubble or telling them that Brazilian waxes are kind of D List now or the only way toflaunt your vulva or giving the pallid permission to be pale because a handful of celebrities are while in the same publication announcing it's time to crack out the fake tan, one thing's for sure... you have a stereotype and it's somehow your job to either conform to it or break away from it and whichever way you choose will probably be wrong and we'll all raise our eyebrows. Frankly it would be easier for us all if you'd be quiet, at least until we can come up with a good name for you and what you're doing. Especially if you're a mum. Who also works. Welcome, MUMPRENEUR. 

From the reaction to stay at home mums you get the horrible suspicion people have little to no expectations of mothers. And they met them! In fact they rose above these small expectations that were limited to 'hope you keep that kid alive!' recently. Apparently many mothers wish to work from home. 

New research by Direct Line for Business has found that nearly two thirds of mums, with children under the age of ten, are considering starting a business from home in the next three years. That's pretty impressive, pretty go-getting. We must have instilled confidence in these mothers. They must have great access to business assistance or good previous experience to fall back on to confidently start a business with a young child to look after. 

Because while mothers cited perks such as being able to spend more time with their children, the ability to leave a job they don't like and a lifelong ambition to start their own business, a big factor seems to be childcare costs. 

Yeah, there's the rub. One sixth, that's 16% of mothers have decided to work from home because they find childcare costs that come with having a nine-five job "prohibitive". 
According to Direct Line for Business recent figures for full time childcare for two kids costs up to £11,700. 49% of the mothers participating in the survey believed they would benefit financially with a home based business.  

As for those mothers who work AKA Working Mum (you know, like Working Dad) the expectation is that they feel guilty (if they FEEL AT ALL)

Jazz Gakhal, Head of Direct Line for Business commented: "The costs of sending a child to day care, or hiring a nanny continue to spiral. It's great to see that mums are tackling this problem with such an entrepreneurial spirit, as they understand considerable child care cost savings can be made by running a business from home."

As for those mothers who work AKA Working Mum (you know, like Working Dad) the expectation is that they feel guilty (if they FEEL AT ALL) at being away from their children all day. However Mumsnet and Saatchi and Saatchi surveyed 900 mothers who work and only 13% felt guilty about spending time away from their children. Possibly because they are keeping them fed, watered and housed. But apparently this is newsworthy. I mean, I'm writing about it. 

It is interesting because the results perhaps display a pleasing imperviousness to media shaming. For instance in the Telegraph's women's section there are currently three stories about single mums (who are maybe doing it wrong). In one the actor Emilia Fox notes that being a single parent is very hard, commenters have called her selfish, implied she's a slut and informed her she is being cruel to her child by refusing to bring it up in a home with two unhappy adults. 

Another features Denise Van Outen wishing she'd "had children younger" (I assume she means when she was younger, rather than wishing her child had emerged somehow younger.) which we can file under 'all you selfish empty wombed youth have nowt but regret ahead of you'.

A third of stay-at-home mothers said they would rather work and 52% believe staying at home was tougher than working. Justine Roberts, the chief executive of Mumsnet, said: "We often think of working mums as harassed and time-poor, rushing from the school gate to the office with not a second to spare. But the reality is often more complicated."

The truth is a lot of mothers don't have a choice and have to work whatever your thoughts on a child's needs and those able to choose don't require the media's permission. Women and mothers should smash expectations (uh, while still keeping that kid alive - you know how it is).

Squeamish Kate
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