Image: Melanie Tata
Recently I attended a workshop on non-binary gender identities where we were talking about agender identity. I identify strongly as agender and/or trans, because I feel that I don’t have a gender. I don’t feel any kind of innate gender, and genders as they apply to me personally feel like arbitrary social constructions. The whole thing feels irrelevant to me, and being referred to as a woman makes me feel dysphoric and sad.
At the workshop someone asked how agender people present, as most people’s gender expression stems from their gender identity. Some people answered that they tried to look as androgynous or as genderqueer as possible. I’ve taken a different approach by using the space where my gender expression would be to parody the construct of femininity and reveal it to be performative - created through collective repeated iterations, a copy without an original. I call this femme.
At the workshop someone asked how agender people present, as most people’s gender expression stems from their gender identity. Some people answered that they tried to look as androgynous or as genderqueer as possible. I’ve taken a different approach by using the space where my gender expression would be to parody the construct of femininity and reveal it to be performative - created through collective repeated iterations, a copy without an original. I call this femme.
For me, femme has nothing to do with being a woman, being interested in fashion, or being the matching set to a butch. Often in the UK femme is used to mean any feminine woman who sleeps with women. That’s fine for anyone who wants to use it like that, but that’s not my meaning here. I’m talking about something which queers femininity. Femme shows femininity as independent from woman, so shows femininity as a biological product to be false. Because femme disassociates femininity from woman, femmes are people of all genders and sexual orientations.
Broadly there seem to be two main types of femme, queers who use ultra-feminine expressions to denote that they’re queer, and genderfuckers who use ultra-feminine expressions to parody femininity. You might hear the phrase ‘high femme’ used to describe femmes than embrace this type of parody. This has caused friction within the femme community at times as it appears to create a hierarchy, so I prefer to use ‘drag femme’.
The key part of femme identity is intentionality. I think you’re unlikely to be a femme if you haven’t decided to be. The reason that women who happen to be feminine and sleep with women don’t queer femininity in the same way is because their femininity is by default rather than actively chosen. Femme considers feminine trappings, claims those that are useful and rejects the problematic parts.
Femme says it doesn’t matter what bits you were born with or how society expects you to get dressed, wear rainbow glitter to the office anyway. It’s inclusive, and in breaking the trappings of femininity from woman, allows everyone to play with ‘girly things’.
Femme says just because I’m wearing heels and makeup, don’t assume I’m a girl. It says yes, putting this much effort into dressing like this is ridiculous, isn’t it, so why are you expecting it from half the population? It says this (and Dolly, Katie, Jodie, Jocelyn, Pete, Jackie and Joan) is the logical conclusion of what you’ve asked me to do, why you are calling me slut, freak, whore now?
Femme says I’m not dressing like this for your pleasure. It says my artificial dollface tells you nothing about my personality, my talents or what I like to do in bed, so check your assumptions. It says fuck your patriarchal, capitalist, racist, cis-sexist, fatphobic, ableist, ageist, heteronormative beauty standards.
MilitantBarbie
For anyone interested in reading more about femme identity Militant Barbie has put together a reading/resource list.
Broadly there seem to be two main types of femme, queers who use ultra-feminine expressions to denote that they’re queer, and genderfuckers who use ultra-feminine expressions to parody femininity. You might hear the phrase ‘high femme’ used to describe femmes than embrace this type of parody. This has caused friction within the femme community at times as it appears to create a hierarchy, so I prefer to use ‘drag femme’.
The key part of femme identity is intentionality. I think you’re unlikely to be a femme if you haven’t decided to be. The reason that women who happen to be feminine and sleep with women don’t queer femininity in the same way is because their femininity is by default rather than actively chosen. Femme considers feminine trappings, claims those that are useful and rejects the problematic parts.
Femme says it doesn’t matter what bits you were born with or how society expects you to get dressed, wear rainbow glitter to the office anyway. It’s inclusive, and in breaking the trappings of femininity from woman, allows everyone to play with ‘girly things’.
Femme says just because I’m wearing heels and makeup, don’t assume I’m a girl. It says yes, putting this much effort into dressing like this is ridiculous, isn’t it, so why are you expecting it from half the population? It says this (and Dolly, Katie, Jodie, Jocelyn, Pete, Jackie and Joan) is the logical conclusion of what you’ve asked me to do, why you are calling me slut, freak, whore now?
Femme says I’m not dressing like this for your pleasure. It says my artificial dollface tells you nothing about my personality, my talents or what I like to do in bed, so check your assumptions. It says fuck your patriarchal, capitalist, racist, cis-sexist, fatphobic, ableist, ageist, heteronormative beauty standards.
MilitantBarbie
For anyone interested in reading more about femme identity Militant Barbie has put together a reading/resource list.
Femme reading and resource list
Individual blog posts on defining femme
FemmeGalaxy.com How Does Femme Queer Femininity?
TheScavenger.net
InOurWordsBlog.com
GaucheSinister.wordpress.com
FemmeGalaxy.com How I Define Femme
SublimeFemme.wordpress.com
QueerFatFemme.com
Femme2012.com
Femme blogs
http://queerfatfemme.com/
http://www.femmegalaxy.com/
http://femmedagger.com/
Multimedia
http://beyondlipstick.ca/index.html - femme self-portraiture project
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/femmecollectivemedia# - streamed talks from FemmeCon 2012
https://www.evernote.com/pub/jessrgold/queerfemmearchiveportfolio#b=3b6e0d65-31e2-41d3-8659-b99a053408df&n=d547bb60-3e81-478c-8e86-218b5e98f18d – ton of femme resources including PDFs of femme zines
http://fuckyeahfemmes.com/
http://fuckyeahhardfemme.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahtransfemmes.tumblr.com/
Books
Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity
Ed. Chloe Brushwood Rose and Anna Camilleri
Visible: A Femmethology, volumes one and two.
Ed. Jennifer Clare Burke
Femmes of Power: Exploding Queer Femininities
Del LaGrace Volcano and Ulrika Dahl
http://pittqueertheoryf11.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/queer-femme-archive/ - has a good bibliography if you want to read further
Individual blog posts on defining femme
FemmeGalaxy.com How Does Femme Queer Femininity?
TheScavenger.net
InOurWordsBlog.com
GaucheSinister.wordpress.com
FemmeGalaxy.com How I Define Femme
SublimeFemme.wordpress.com
QueerFatFemme.com
Femme2012.com
Femme blogs
http://queerfatfemme.com/
http://www.femmegalaxy.com/
http://femmedagger.com/
Multimedia
http://beyondlipstick.ca/index.html - femme self-portraiture project
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/femmecollectivemedia# - streamed talks from FemmeCon 2012
https://www.evernote.com/pub/jessrgold/queerfemmearchiveportfolio#b=3b6e0d65-31e2-41d3-8659-b99a053408df&n=d547bb60-3e81-478c-8e86-218b5e98f18d – ton of femme resources including PDFs of femme zines
http://fuckyeahfemmes.com/
http://fuckyeahhardfemme.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahtransfemmes.tumblr.com/
Books
Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity
Ed. Chloe Brushwood Rose and Anna Camilleri
Visible: A Femmethology, volumes one and two.
Ed. Jennifer Clare Burke
Femmes of Power: Exploding Queer Femininities
Del LaGrace Volcano and Ulrika Dahl
http://pittqueertheoryf11.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/queer-femme-archive/ - has a good bibliography if you want to read further
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