Spot the fruit. Image:Bearseye You know that meme, the one citing a few characters in fairy tales such as Cinderella who broke her fairy godmother SPECIFIC curfew, Pinocchio lying and drinking until he almost turned into an ass* Snow White shacking up with 7 men blablabla the punch line being how do you expect us to be good children filling our heads with such bad examples of behaviour. I'm sure many a parent has considered the example set by Hansel and Gretel's step-mother.
The same could possibly be said regarding a good relationship with food. Morrisons and Netmums (ah Netmums. We meet again) have teamed up to survey mums and how they feed/fret about feeding their children. Sordid tales of hidden vegetables, lies "it is cooked in lard darling - mummy promises", and bargaining. Which I think is code for bribery. It's unlikely peculiar acts such as veggie smuggling (I mean, like, under a splodge of Smash. Oh you are sick. SICK) foster much of a healthy food - child relationship.
The same could possibly be said regarding a good relationship with food. Morrisons and Netmums (ah Netmums. We meet again) have teamed up to survey mums and how they feed/fret about feeding their children. Sordid tales of hidden vegetables, lies "it is cooked in lard darling - mummy promises", and bargaining. Which I think is code for bribery. It's unlikely peculiar acts such as veggie smuggling (I mean, like, under a splodge of Smash. Oh you are sick. SICK) foster much of a healthy food - child relationship.
And don't go thinking in the world of Morrisons and Netmums features any kind of 'wait until your father gets home!' threat. The survey paints a UK full of feckless fathers who eat crap and feed their children crap, or secretly eat unhealthy foods, busted only because it's the unhealthy food that tends to have the most wrapping and, therefore, evidence that doesn't break down like nature's candy. But really, what's the better example? To shamelessly stuff your gob with what you fancy or to stealthily shove a shameful piece of chocolate in your mouth once everyone's backs are turned?
I recognise the anxiety that parents must feel regarding making sure their children are fed and fed healthily. Nobody likes a snivelling child so sometimes it's a question of making sure your child is fed rather than making sure your child got their 5 a day. Because I am gloriously childless, other than a very brief and odd stint of having a boyfriend who came with a child (we argued over Ribena Toothkind [I'm team water]) and ate like a child (no tomatoes, no fish, no vitamins) I should stress this is very hypothetical to me. But I'm still going to stick my oar in because everybody thinks my womb is their business so damn it if I'm not going to make the fruit of your womb mine. My business that is, not my child, yikes.
Let's get to the numbers bit. It is worth noting only 1000 mums were polled. Of these a huge 80% said they had to "resort to secretly making family meals healthier without their children knowing." Because mums live in their child's house, not the other way round. 82% of mums said their partner wasn't eating enough fruit. And the crazy dad buffoonery doesn't stop there, oh the stories Netmum members could tell of dads left alone to look after children. Some dads admitted to emptying last night's Chinese takeaway into a child's lunchbox, giving into a child's bizarre request for ice cream and peas and even grating cheese over cereal for children's breakfast - perhaps to ensure optimum calcium intake.
I recognise the anxiety that parents must feel regarding making sure their children are fed and fed healthily. Nobody likes a snivelling child so sometimes it's a question of making sure your child is fed rather than making sure your child got their 5 a day. Because I am gloriously childless, other than a very brief and odd stint of having a boyfriend who came with a child (we argued over Ribena Toothkind [I'm team water]) and ate like a child (no tomatoes, no fish, no vitamins) I should stress this is very hypothetical to me. But I'm still going to stick my oar in because everybody thinks my womb is their business so damn it if I'm not going to make the fruit of your womb mine. My business that is, not my child, yikes.
Let's get to the numbers bit. It is worth noting only 1000 mums were polled. Of these a huge 80% said they had to "resort to secretly making family meals healthier without their children knowing." Because mums live in their child's house, not the other way round. 82% of mums said their partner wasn't eating enough fruit. And the crazy dad buffoonery doesn't stop there, oh the stories Netmum members could tell of dads left alone to look after children. Some dads admitted to emptying last night's Chinese takeaway into a child's lunchbox, giving into a child's bizarre request for ice cream and peas and even grating cheese over cereal for children's breakfast - perhaps to ensure optimum calcium intake.
| 30% mums had decided to ban "treats" from the home and 17% went with the fib the healthy option was "the only thing left in the shop." All this research is to aid Morrisons's understanding of mum's attitude to healthy cooking, eating and apparent trapping in the 1950s. Because it is a FACT only MUMS do the cooking in the 2.4 children home Morrisons has turned to the 'MumTritionist' (you can shh, it's a thing) | I haven't read a thing about this book that hasn't mentioned Lionel Shriver's weight and her late brother's weight |
Nazli Dag, nutritionist for the new Morrisons healthy NuMe range (see what they did there?), said: "It's a concern that quite so many mums have had to resort to secretive measures to introduce healthy eating to family mealtimes...We know being a mum can be a tough and time consuming job, so hearing how they make time to prepare healthy meals that suit everyone's tastes in their daily lives has been an eye opener!"
This MumTritionist jazz follows the release and coverage of Lional Shriver's book Big Brother about an obese character has caused speculation not over her prose but her portions. A Guardian interview quotes Shriver's difficulty in adjusting her mindset (or possibly routine) to eating lunch with a journalist: "This occasion breaks every rule in the book." Shriver told Kate Kellaway she'd had to "mobilise my mind to the idea of having it [lunch]."
The admittedly slight Shriver has also been asked about her obese brother who recently died of respiratory complications. "I'd say he weighed about 400lb by the end. He was a sound engineer – self-taught. Greg did everything on the grand scale. People think I am extreme. I'm nothing compared to my brother. That tendency to extremity is very dangerous when it has to do with substances. He had a series of addictions, ending in food and pain medication."
I haven't heard or read anything about this book that hasn't mentioned Lionel Shriver's weight, her late brother's weight and her liberal Christian parents' 'hunger dinners' where they would meditate on those who had less than they.
In this, while perhaps we learn as much about the book as we do about actual nutrition in Morrisons and Netmums MumTrition survey, we do learn the habit we have in equating food with morality. 'hunger dinners' 'tendency to extremity' the theme of secrecy came up in the Morrisons press release repeatedly, to get your child to eat a carrot is to get one over them. It is also laying issues with food on the mother and her failure at subterfuge. Shriver addresses the attitude: "the equation is all wrong - fat is not evil... food should not be a moral issue."
Squeamish Kate
*most frightening bit of Pinocchio is when they turn into donkeys. Calling for their Mamas. I weep. It's even worse in the peculiar Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night film that no one else seems to have been subjected to as a child. If you saw it please contact me. Maybe we can start a support group.
This MumTritionist jazz follows the release and coverage of Lional Shriver's book Big Brother about an obese character has caused speculation not over her prose but her portions. A Guardian interview quotes Shriver's difficulty in adjusting her mindset (or possibly routine) to eating lunch with a journalist: "This occasion breaks every rule in the book." Shriver told Kate Kellaway she'd had to "mobilise my mind to the idea of having it [lunch]."
The admittedly slight Shriver has also been asked about her obese brother who recently died of respiratory complications. "I'd say he weighed about 400lb by the end. He was a sound engineer – self-taught. Greg did everything on the grand scale. People think I am extreme. I'm nothing compared to my brother. That tendency to extremity is very dangerous when it has to do with substances. He had a series of addictions, ending in food and pain medication."
I haven't heard or read anything about this book that hasn't mentioned Lionel Shriver's weight, her late brother's weight and her liberal Christian parents' 'hunger dinners' where they would meditate on those who had less than they.
In this, while perhaps we learn as much about the book as we do about actual nutrition in Morrisons and Netmums MumTrition survey, we do learn the habit we have in equating food with morality. 'hunger dinners' 'tendency to extremity' the theme of secrecy came up in the Morrisons press release repeatedly, to get your child to eat a carrot is to get one over them. It is also laying issues with food on the mother and her failure at subterfuge. Shriver addresses the attitude: "the equation is all wrong - fat is not evil... food should not be a moral issue."
Squeamish Kate
*most frightening bit of Pinocchio is when they turn into donkeys. Calling for their Mamas. I weep. It's even worse in the peculiar Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night film that no one else seems to have been subjected to as a child. If you saw it please contact me. Maybe we can start a support group.
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