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He's a Douche, She's Insane

28/1/2014

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PictureHope this isn't a visual metaphor. Image: Rudolf Vlcek
I don't know what sizzurp is, or I didn't, thanks to the Daily Mail and Justin Bieber now I do. For those who don't the ever usefulUrban Dictionary says it is Promethazine and Codeine syrup mixed with any fruit flavoured soda and a jolly rancher - for taste. Maybe a sugary buzz. There are strict instructions for this concoction to be put in a Styrofoam cup. Not plastic, not glass, Styrofoam. Why? I don't know. But apparently if you drink this you will enjoy the sensation of "euphoria...motor skill impairment, lethargy, and extreme drowsiness." Quite the roller coaster of feelings.

The 19 year old zillionaire Justin Bieber is having a moment, not a boy - not yet a man he appears to be going through a phase many teenage boys go through. Only where most broke teen boys just have the cash for a bottle of cheap vodka and a packet of cigarettes or some resin. This usually limits them to misdemeanours such as drawing a cock and balls on walls (I'm a poet and I know it) or possibly spitting in the street and swearing at vulnerable members of the public.

Bieber has the cash to go wild in Amsterdam, buy monkeys by the dozen, stuff stripper's G-strings with dollars, spray paint walls willy nilly and sip on a sizzurp. And he is going to darn well spend it on such things because when you are 19 they can seem kind of grown up. Oh yeah and clearly he doesn't have much sense of moderation thanks to managers, PRs and hangers on indulging his every whim lest he stop making them money.
According to gossip sites though, since Bieber egged a house (so grown up), urinated publicly whilst denouncing Bill Clinton (who doesn't like Bill?!) and appeared in court for drunk driving his people have been urging him to at least try therapy - if not rehab. The media reaction seems very much to be centred around the idea that yeah Bieber's kinda douchey but it's just a phase.

Since theories abounded concerning wandering wombs women have been taught to pathologize themselves.

AsMarina Hyde puts it: "What ought to be far more open to question is that bizarre orthodoxy of modern showbiz: the idea that with a young and impressionable fanbase, someone like Justin Bieber has infinitely more responsibility to behave with apple-pie decorum than anyone else. Has he? And if so, why has he? I'm afraid the dementedly anarchic, Bieber-esque dissident in me wonders where people get off contracting out any aspect of their parenting to a 19-year-old, whom even the stupider among them must be able to see is hardly up to the job." Hey if a young female star pulled any of that crap I bet we'd have a similar reaction.

Oh, no we wouldn't.

Within moments of young female stars pulling any kind of antics involving cars, alcohol and/or drugs we wonder aloud if they aren't rather unhinged. I know we all reckon cutting your hair so short is a slippery slope for Miley. Apparently abusing your body with over indulgence is something only boys can do without apparently trying to conceal a deep psychological scar. I am not saying that, for example, the Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears episodes didn't escalate and that they didn't require professional assistance. I am saying we were awful quick to call them mad. Sometimes you just can't explain Kevin Federline...

Since theories abounded concerning wandering (and wondering) wombs women have been taught to pathologize themselves. Everything a woman likes she probably likes too much. She's addicted to chocolate, or shoes, or Sex & The City. She's very OCD about her handbags. She diets too much, she eats too much, she suffers from disordered eating.

The message is that a woman is apparently out of control much sooner than a man is. Is this a media based damsel in distress campaign or do we sincerely think young women have a looser grip on their mental state? Because it looks an awful lot like the latter.

Squeamish Kate
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