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Google Parenting

23/1/2014

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PictureWhere the ugly babies go. Image: History of Medicine
The answer you are supposed to give as a stranger caresses your pregnant stomach and asks you what you're hoping for is "Oh, I don't mind as long as it's healthy". This is often, I suspect, a lie. Not that you wouldn't ultimately hope the foetus will pop out healthy (the whole issue around the desire for a healthy baby, parental love and when babies are not 'healthy' is one I'm not addressing today - but I know it's problematic for some) most people are bound to have a preference. Many a misery memoir begins with 'my mother wanted a girl/boy, being a boy/girl I was a disappointment. However while it's apparently fine to touch someone's gestating belly it's not considered polite to reply with a desired sex. The most diplomatic approach, it seems to me, is to reply: "Naw, that's just a food baby".

However according to Google stats once you have had to baby and society dictates you bring it up in a hetero-normative and cis focused fashion you must must must check the following when bringing up baby. Not what vaccinations they should have, or how to net-nanny them, or how much toothpaste is ok for a kid to swallow, no. You need to check that your son is clever and your daughter isn't fat.

Apparently parents are more than twice as likely to ask Google "Is my son gifted" than "Is my daughter gifted?" Preparing their daughter for a future of body anxiety and more diets than sex partners, parents search the answer to the question "Is my daughter overweight" twice as much as they do for their sons.

Of course the pressure from high expectations of your intellect is not to be underestimated. However we can optimistically hope such Googling is a result of pride and the parental habit of thinking their child is superior. A quick look on Facebook provides me with the anecdotal evidence that many of my school friends think I might like to see their uterus and that the fruit of their loins is better than any other loin fruit I might have come across on my travels.
However Facebook coverage of girl loin fruit tends to be photographs of them in various outfits to show how beautiful they are (quick question: how can their brains be expected to develop when people keep putting those weirdbaby head garters on their heads?). Boys get status updates concerning what funny things they have said.

Of course it would make more sense to kickstart a peer review when it comes to offspring and their beauty.

Parents who have doubts about such things are one and a half times more likely to look for solace from Google asking "is my daughter beautiful" than if their son is. Of course it would make more sense to kickstart a peer review when it comes to offspring and their beauty.

Apparently the findings do not vary much from 2004 to the present day. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz who studied the Google results sees this as evidence of a consistency in attitudes over time, states and politics: "These biases appear to cut across ideological divisions. In fact, I was unable to find any demographics that significantly reduced the biases. Nor is there evidence that these biases have decreased since 2004, the year for which Google search data is first available." However it would be interesting to search for any correlation in the west between daughterly ambitions and the 'pinkification' of children's toys.

Stephens-Davidowitz commented on the division in parental aspiration for their sons and daughters: "The disturbing results outlined here leave us with many open questions, but the most poignant may be this one: How would American girls' lives be different if parents were half as concerned with their bodies and twice as intrigued by their minds?"

Then we'd probably be suffering from library-based disorders. 'Cos they fuck you up, your mum and dad* and we've got the Google results to prove it.

*uh this does not apply to all parents. Mine merely tucked me up.

Squeamish Kate

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