Who'd be famous? Or be a teenager again? Let alone both. Having to do your growing up in public with endless speculation and commentary. Tom Daley has had more than his fair share of scrutiny already. I barely follow sport and yet I know that the 19-year-old was bullied to the extent of needing to change schools; that his dad died a couple of years ago; that he did well in his GCSEs and A Levels; that he is in a relationship with a man. Oh yeah, and also that he's an incredibly talented Olympic-level diver who's already got a bronze medal and is aiming for gold in Rio 2016. That's a lot to have gone through in a few years for anyone.
And how do I know that forth fact, that he's in a relationship with a man? Because Daley released a 5-minute long YouTube video where he talked about the fact he met someone, a man, earlier this year and is in a very happy relationship.
It's surely impossible to watch the video and not feel happy for him - he's got that glow of someone who's very happy coming off him and his eyes light up when he talks about his boyfriend.
It's surely impossible to watch the video and not feel happy for him - he's got that glow of someone who's very happy coming off him and his eyes light up when he talks about his boyfriend.
| But isn't it sad he felt he had to make the video in the first place? He says in it that he was misquoted in an article and wanted to set the record straight and tell his fans what he's doing. But it goes without saying that he wouldn't have felt the need to do so if he was dating a woman. Or if he did, that it wouldn't have received the same level of press and public attention. Because it's not really any of our business, is it? Someone's love life, their sexuality. |  See that glow? |
Because it's not really any of our business, is it? Someone's love life, their sexuality.
But the reaction has showed something else, besides the fact that any celebrity saying they're not straight will get an insane amount of attention: bisexual erasure is alive and well.
Now let's be very clear. Daley doesn't put any labels on himself. He very clearly says that he is in a relationship with a man that makes him incredibly happy, and that he fancies girls. If there's a word for that, it's bisexual. I hesitate to use that label in relation to Daley because people should be able to define themselves and their sexuality. But for the same reason I would not call him gay. In fact, that seems even less fitting, given he's said he still has attractions to women. But that didn't stop most of the media immediately shouting 'GAY!':
But the reaction has showed something else, besides the fact that any celebrity saying they're not straight will get an insane amount of attention: bisexual erasure is alive and well.
Now let's be very clear. Daley doesn't put any labels on himself. He very clearly says that he is in a relationship with a man that makes him incredibly happy, and that he fancies girls. If there's a word for that, it's bisexual. I hesitate to use that label in relation to Daley because people should be able to define themselves and their sexuality. But for the same reason I would not call him gay. In fact, that seems even less fitting, given he's said he still has attractions to women. But that didn't stop most of the media immediately shouting 'GAY!':
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And neither did it stop loads of people rushing to share the 'news' that he is gay or saying that they're 'not surprised'. Because of course you can tell someone's sexuality by, what? Their mannerisms? How they look? The fact they wear certain outfits? Like tight swimming trunks? OH WAIT.
Why does someone saying very clearly that they like both men and women lead to so many people saying that they must be gay? Why do so many news outlets seem to have dictionaries that don't include the word 'bisexual'? Perhaps it's because so many people still don't believe that bisexuality 'really' exists. Despite the fact that there are thousands, millions, of us jumping up and down and insisting that yes, really we are attracted to more than one gender. People who would never question someone saying that they are gay (or straight), feel perfectly happy to dismiss bisexuality as a phase, or a choice born of greed, or the addled indecision of someone too young or stupid to make up their minds.
The Mail Online was actually one of the first places to say that Daley had 'come out' as bisexual rather than gay, and their piece is remarkably positive. But the comments are not, shall we say, quite as positive:
The Mail Online was actually one of the first places to say that Daley had 'come out' as bisexual rather than gay, and their piece is remarkably positive. But the comments are not, shall we say, quite as positive:
But it would be unfair to pretend that attitude is only on the Mail's comment boards.
How should we refer to Daley? How about as a talented Olympic athlete who's entitled to a private life?
And how should we refer to bisexuality? As a valid label for human sexuality. As a way people can choose to define themselves if they're attracted to more than one gender. As something that does actually exist.
Glad I could clear those up.
Squeamish Louise
And how should we refer to bisexuality? As a valid label for human sexuality. As a way people can choose to define themselves if they're attracted to more than one gender. As something that does actually exist.
Glad I could clear those up.
Squeamish Louise
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