All grown up
Ah the cult of youth. It's an odd thing, but you can't deny – no matter how many times you insist you'd never want to go through teenage-hood again -- most of us are chasing youth, or clinging on to it. Apart from those who are still very dewy and think smoking is cool (kids! It's not!).
In fact due to spending most of our formative years thinking of all the things we would do (or refuse to do) once we were all grown-up, we neglected to note we might possibly have grown up now. We can't be – we don't eat cake for breakfast everyday. Or are we? No matter how many qualifications attained, bills paid and career ladder wrungs reached conversations at Squeamish Bikini headquarters often feature the qualifier: “when I grow up”. In fact fun fact Shirley Manson of Garbage was 32 when she was on Top of the Pops singing the song When I Grow Up whilst wearing enough black eye-liner to give any teenager a run for their money.
If you don't feel grown up when you are hitting the charts (this doesn't apply to those hitting the charts as an offshoot from their former Disney career, OK?) with your second album then when do you? Here are our 5 signs that you're a grown up...
In fact due to spending most of our formative years thinking of all the things we would do (or refuse to do) once we were all grown-up, we neglected to note we might possibly have grown up now. We can't be – we don't eat cake for breakfast everyday. Or are we? No matter how many qualifications attained, bills paid and career ladder wrungs reached conversations at Squeamish Bikini headquarters often feature the qualifier: “when I grow up”. In fact fun fact Shirley Manson of Garbage was 32 when she was on Top of the Pops singing the song When I Grow Up whilst wearing enough black eye-liner to give any teenager a run for their money.
If you don't feel grown up when you are hitting the charts (this doesn't apply to those hitting the charts as an offshoot from their former Disney career, OK?) with your second album then when do you? Here are our 5 signs that you're a grown up...
1. Apparently it's the accoutrements that make you a grownup - the solicitors, mortgages, children, etc., that one acquires as part of the ageing process. I've occasionally stopped myself in horror in the middle of a conversation about house prices. But the thing is, I don't feel like a grown-up. I feel the way I always have done: excitable, curious, and up for an adventure. There's nothing I feel tied to, no one I am responsible for, and I am having the time of my life working in the field of my dreams. F1 Kate
2. I am nearly 29 and I am not grown up. Society's grown up things, like accommodation I can call my own, a partner, baby, driving licence and even a mere job have all, so far, evaded me. I can however tell you when the child inside of you dies. It’s when you buy a sofa. Get a frigging bean bag and buy a ticket to New York. I may hanker for all the other things but I don’t want a sofa. Squeamish Nicola
3. I know I am not a grown up yet because I do not carry a leather handbag and, inside said (absent) leather handbag, I do not have hand cream. Specifically a tub of hand cream. My mother always used to carry a leather handbag with a tub (why a tub?) of Atrixo hand cream and, because as a child I idolized her, I believed this to be the epitome of adulthood. I also promised myself that when I grew up I would wear blue or green eye-shadow all the way up to my brows and bright lipstick. Basically you will know I've reached adulthood when you see my soft, soft hands reach into my leather handbag, from which I will take out a compact and touch up my blue eye-shadow. Squeamish Kate
4. Although I'm technically a grown-up in many ways (I have a real job, i'm married, I have a commute) I don't feel like a grown-up. I still need to ask people to buy me most of the toys I want for Christmas. Until I'm the one buying toys for someone else I don't think I can be counted as a proper adult. Gareth
5. I feel like a grown-up whenever I put on matching underwear. But the real marker of being a grownup is having booze in your house that you haven't drunk within a few days of buying it (alternative measures may be needed for teetotallers). I'm always slightly amazed when I go round to someone's house and they have an alcohol cabinet - surely that's only for old people! Sometimes I might have a bottle of whisky that lasts for a few weeks, but several of them? I have yet to earn that much money or learn that much self-restraint. Squeamish Louise
2. I am nearly 29 and I am not grown up. Society's grown up things, like accommodation I can call my own, a partner, baby, driving licence and even a mere job have all, so far, evaded me. I can however tell you when the child inside of you dies. It’s when you buy a sofa. Get a frigging bean bag and buy a ticket to New York. I may hanker for all the other things but I don’t want a sofa. Squeamish Nicola
3. I know I am not a grown up yet because I do not carry a leather handbag and, inside said (absent) leather handbag, I do not have hand cream. Specifically a tub of hand cream. My mother always used to carry a leather handbag with a tub (why a tub?) of Atrixo hand cream and, because as a child I idolized her, I believed this to be the epitome of adulthood. I also promised myself that when I grew up I would wear blue or green eye-shadow all the way up to my brows and bright lipstick. Basically you will know I've reached adulthood when you see my soft, soft hands reach into my leather handbag, from which I will take out a compact and touch up my blue eye-shadow. Squeamish Kate
4. Although I'm technically a grown-up in many ways (I have a real job, i'm married, I have a commute) I don't feel like a grown-up. I still need to ask people to buy me most of the toys I want for Christmas. Until I'm the one buying toys for someone else I don't think I can be counted as a proper adult. Gareth
5. I feel like a grown-up whenever I put on matching underwear. But the real marker of being a grownup is having booze in your house that you haven't drunk within a few days of buying it (alternative measures may be needed for teetotallers). I'm always slightly amazed when I go round to someone's house and they have an alcohol cabinet - surely that's only for old people! Sometimes I might have a bottle of whisky that lasts for a few weeks, but several of them? I have yet to earn that much money or learn that much self-restraint. Squeamish Louise
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