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Friday 5...Things We Do not Get

26/9/2013

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It is a popular assumption that it is a sign of middle age to be flummoxed by something that is apparently taking the world by storm. To wrinkle your nose at something everybody seems to be doing and wonder aloud what possible benefits they could be getting from taking part in this. However team Squeamish beg to differ. Some of us have known each other since our teens and, unless we have always been somewhat old fogyish, we would like to forward the motion that a state of 'do not get' is a regular occurrence no matter what your age. Be it jeggings, twerking or cronuts. We put our trendy heads together and came up with what - in spite of being young and totes with it - we do not get...

 1. Without missing a beat: Game of Thrones. Medieval fantasy just doesn't do it for me, even if it is spiced up with political machinations. Chris

2. I really don't get what the big deal about JJ Abrams' Star Trek films is. They are entertaining enough space-based action movies, I guess, but aren't part of any Star Trek universe I recognise.There's no depth, no moral dilemmas, just macho space dudes blowing shit up. The whole point of Star Trek was that people had evolved past petty things like greed, anger and hatred and could solve all problems rationally. There were battles in the show, but they are seen as a last resort not the first solution to any problem. They've also managed to turn the only female character from The Original Series into the 'weepy girlfriend', a very sad turn of events for a franchise that created outstanding female role models like Kira, Dax,Tasha Yar, Janeway, and Troi (ok, maybe she was a bad example). Plus they feature a device that allows you to teleport between solar systems - which renders space ships (which in my mind are a fairly crucial part of the show's appeal) obsolete! Gareth

3. It seems as if ALL of my friends fancy Ryan Gosling. I... I guess he isn't bad looking. But that's as much as I can say. The internet went crazy for him a year or two ago and I felt like the awkward girl at a teen party going... "umm, who? Why? What?" i'm sure he's lovely, but I just don't get it. Squeamish Louise

4.
I have spent my life wondering what the big deal is with various things. Then being kind of won round. I started to think maybe disco pants might look good on me. My eyebrows have always been dark and quite thick, but now thanks to regular visits to Liverpool to see my parents I look at them (my brows not my parents) and think: 'spindly, and that hair cut could do with some bouffing.' I used to think ankle boots with a skirt was the ultimate style sin. Now I am currently on the hunt for the perfect ankle boots to wear with coloured tights. However there is one thing (two things, but Louise already nabbed Ryan Gosling) that I do not get. Bags. Those big, expensive, previously old lady favourite, quilted bags. Squeamish Kate

5. What's the big deal with shit designer goods? I'd be worried about outing myself as a snob if the world wasn't fully aware of my snobbery already, so here goes. Designer goods are about exclusivity, about making a dual statement of one's style and status. So why buy the entry-level product that everyone knows is the cheapest way to buy into the brand? That LV luggage tag on your Primark suitcase makes you look like an idiot. And don't even get me started on men in entry-level Porsches. Guys, the kind of girl you're trying to attract with that car knows your model means estate agent, not estate heir. F1 Kate

BONUS ENTRY, LET US CALL IT ENTRY 5.2
I covet things, I like sparkly tops in Topshop that cost too much money. I like eating tonnes of tapas and I desperately want to go on lots of trips to New York every single year of my life. I don't get the big deal with designer handbags that cost thousands and thousands of pounds. How nice can a bag actually be? They're just like big cupboards made out of leather that you lug about, why pay all that money for an thing to carry other things. When I look at designer bags I see all the holidays that person could have taken. Squeamish Nicola
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