Murdoch Whale. It's uncanny right?
MPs on the culture, media and sport select committee have declared Rupert Murdoch "not a fit and proper person to have the stewardship of a major international company" or some of them have. Or have they?
The truth is we all get to that age where people might think we should ditch that empire we’ve spent our lives building. For some of us this is in reference to the Triop Kingdom we’ve nurtured through good times and mass cannibalism but for Murdoch this is, arguably, that and so much more. So we thought he might like some ideas of what to do next when this debacle has all, y’know, blown over. Here are some things Rupert Murdoch might be considered fit and proper to do…
The truth is we all get to that age where people might think we should ditch that empire we’ve spent our lives building. For some of us this is in reference to the Triop Kingdom we’ve nurtured through good times and mass cannibalism but for Murdoch this is, arguably, that and so much more. So we thought he might like some ideas of what to do next when this debacle has all, y’know, blown over. Here are some things Rupert Murdoch might be considered fit and proper to do…
1. Be a SAGA holiday rep. One of us at Squeamish Bikini thought SAGA was an acronym for Send a Granny Away. Rupert it isn’t. It’s just a great opportunity to meet new people who have also been declared unfit to kvetch about your grown children with as you tan.
2. Play Admiral Lord Nelson at the News Corp Christmas play? "Wrong-doing? I see no wrong-doing!"
3. If that turn on the stage gives Mr. Murdoch the drama bug perhaps he would consider this idea: plough some cash into the revival of the Australian soap Heartbreak High. Then take the part of Crotchety-Old-Caretaker. All the students hate him until they realise his grumpiness is linked to a tragedy early in life and actually Crotchety-Old-Caretaker is a secret sweetheart who bakes, frequently takes in stray cats and dispenses sage advice to the students.
4. Endorse a yoghurt. A man yoghurt. For men with a busy lifestyle who simply don’t have time for bloating.
5. We know this is a question people always answer with: “when the time is right”, but have you considered being a contestant on Dancing with the Stars or Strictly Come Dancing? It’s done wonders for Kelly Osbourne and Ann Widdecombe. Go tango, go sparkly, go blonde. You won’t regret it.
2. Play Admiral Lord Nelson at the News Corp Christmas play? "Wrong-doing? I see no wrong-doing!"
3. If that turn on the stage gives Mr. Murdoch the drama bug perhaps he would consider this idea: plough some cash into the revival of the Australian soap Heartbreak High. Then take the part of Crotchety-Old-Caretaker. All the students hate him until they realise his grumpiness is linked to a tragedy early in life and actually Crotchety-Old-Caretaker is a secret sweetheart who bakes, frequently takes in stray cats and dispenses sage advice to the students.
4. Endorse a yoghurt. A man yoghurt. For men with a busy lifestyle who simply don’t have time for bloating.
5. We know this is a question people always answer with: “when the time is right”, but have you considered being a contestant on Dancing with the Stars or Strictly Come Dancing? It’s done wonders for Kelly Osbourne and Ann Widdecombe. Go tango, go sparkly, go blonde. You won’t regret it.
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