Wonder Whale In spite of the comic book world's fondness for creating female characters who appear to have the power to defy the laws of physics each time they take a step, let alone throw a punch thanks to their ginormous bosom, members of the Squeamish team do love a comic.
In light of the new comic SheZow! in whi ch ordinary 12 year old boy Guy Hamdon has a super hero alter-ego he summons with the shout of "You go girl!" we wonder what super power we would like to have to further the forces of feminism...
In light of the new comic SheZow! in whi ch ordinary 12 year old boy Guy Hamdon has a super hero alter-ego he summons with the shout of "You go girl!" we wonder what super power we would like to have to further the forces of feminism...
1. I'd like the power to reveal bullshit. They'd call me the Bullshitter. No, wait, the Bull-de-shitter. It's more accurate and it sounds kind of Spanish. Squeamish Kate
2. Rather than come up with a new female superhero I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about some of the lesser known powers almost every existing female superhero has. Firstly gravity defying, invincible boobs. Particularly in the case of Power Girl. Regardless of the situation, position they are in, outfit or how epic a battle
they've just engaged in there boobs are never anything other than pert - and it doesn't matter how strong a force they are hit with they'll never squash or sag!
Not sure whether to show off your magical tits or arse on the cover of your comic (cos clearly you've got to show one or it wouldn't sell!)? Don't worry - just take advantage of your super-flexible spine
and show off both at the same time!Gareth
3. Dance control! I would take the super power where, if I snapped my fingers, everyone around me would uncontrollably break into a coordinated dance routine. Imagine the possibilities. Witness an attempted mugging? Turn it into a musical number. Some idiot mansplaining how to wire a plug after you've just tried to tell him you're an electrician? Make him tap dance away. PMQs getting annoying? JAZZ HANDS!Squeamish Louise
4. I'm not entirely sure how this fits in with the feminism theme, but there's only one superpower I'm interested in. (Okay, maybe three. But I'm not telling you about the other two.) Anyway, I want invisibility, so that it can be used to annoy my enemies and nemeses. Imagine it - you would walk alongside them, flicking the ends of their noses, tickling them, untying their shoelaces, causing minor pain and massive irritation that would cause them to question their grip on reality. And then at night you can sneak into their bedrooms while they are sleeping and rearrange all of the furniture. If you can't abuse the power of invisibility to make your enemies wind up in padded cells, then you're doing it wrong. FACT. F1 Kate
5. It's always fly. Yeah, being able to be super strong and lift cars off of people is useful. For them. But it's no good for you when you're trying to give someone a nice relaxing massage and break their collar bone by accident. I'd fly up high and have a go at the builders who wolf whistle my mother. I'd also fly all the way home at night, because night buses and drunk people are a hassle. Squeamish Nicola
2. Rather than come up with a new female superhero I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about some of the lesser known powers almost every existing female superhero has. Firstly gravity defying, invincible boobs. Particularly in the case of Power Girl. Regardless of the situation, position they are in, outfit or how epic a battle
they've just engaged in there boobs are never anything other than pert - and it doesn't matter how strong a force they are hit with they'll never squash or sag!
Not sure whether to show off your magical tits or arse on the cover of your comic (cos clearly you've got to show one or it wouldn't sell!)? Don't worry - just take advantage of your super-flexible spine
and show off both at the same time!Gareth
3. Dance control! I would take the super power where, if I snapped my fingers, everyone around me would uncontrollably break into a coordinated dance routine. Imagine the possibilities. Witness an attempted mugging? Turn it into a musical number. Some idiot mansplaining how to wire a plug after you've just tried to tell him you're an electrician? Make him tap dance away. PMQs getting annoying? JAZZ HANDS!Squeamish Louise
4. I'm not entirely sure how this fits in with the feminism theme, but there's only one superpower I'm interested in. (Okay, maybe three. But I'm not telling you about the other two.) Anyway, I want invisibility, so that it can be used to annoy my enemies and nemeses. Imagine it - you would walk alongside them, flicking the ends of their noses, tickling them, untying their shoelaces, causing minor pain and massive irritation that would cause them to question their grip on reality. And then at night you can sneak into their bedrooms while they are sleeping and rearrange all of the furniture. If you can't abuse the power of invisibility to make your enemies wind up in padded cells, then you're doing it wrong. FACT. F1 Kate
5. It's always fly. Yeah, being able to be super strong and lift cars off of people is useful. For them. But it's no good for you when you're trying to give someone a nice relaxing massage and break their collar bone by accident. I'd fly up high and have a go at the builders who wolf whistle my mother. I'd also fly all the way home at night, because night buses and drunk people are a hassle. Squeamish Nicola
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