Squeamish Bikini
  • Home
  • Squeamish Features
  • Squeamish Reviews
  • Squeamish News
  • Squeamish Contact
  • About Squeamish

Friday 5...special powers

13/6/2013

0 Comments

 
PictureWonder Whale
In spite of the comic book world's fondness for creating female characters who appear to have the power to defy the laws of physics each time they take a step, let alone throw a punch thanks to their ginormous bosom, members of the Squeamish team do love a comic. 

In light of the new comic SheZow! in whi ch ordinary 12 year old boy Guy Hamdon has a super hero alter-ego he summons with the shout of "You go girl!" we wonder what super power we would like to have to further the forces of feminism...

1. I'd like the power to reveal bullshit. They'd call me the Bullshitter. No, wait, the Bull-de-shitter. It's more accurate and it sounds kind of Spanish. Squeamish Kate

2. Rather than come up with a new female superhero I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about some of the lesser known powers almost every existing female superhero has. Firstly gravity defying, invincible boobs. Particularly in the case of Power Girl. Regardless of the situation, position they are in, outfit or how epic a battle
they've just engaged in there boobs are never anything other than pert - and it doesn't matter how strong a force they are hit with they'll never squash or sag!

Not sure whether to show off your magical tits or arse on the cover of your comic (cos clearly you've got to show one or it wouldn't sell!)? Don't worry - just take advantage of your super-flexible spine
and show off both at the same time!Gareth

3. Dance control! I would take the super power where, if I snapped my fingers, everyone around me would uncontrollably break into a coordinated dance routine. Imagine the possibilities. Witness an attempted mugging? Turn it into a musical number. Some idiot mansplaining how to wire a plug after you've just tried to tell him you're an electrician? Make him tap dance away. PMQs getting annoying? JAZZ HANDS!Squeamish Louise

4. I'm not entirely sure how this fits in with the feminism theme, but there's only one superpower I'm interested in. (Okay, maybe three. But I'm not telling you about the other two.) Anyway, I want invisibility, so that it can be used to annoy my enemies and nemeses. Imagine it - you would walk alongside them, flicking the ends of their noses, tickling them, untying their shoelaces, causing minor pain and massive irritation that would cause them to question their grip on reality. And then at night you can sneak into their bedrooms while they are sleeping and rearrange all of the furniture. If you can't abuse the power of invisibility to make your enemies wind up in padded cells, then you're doing it wrong. FACT. F1 Kate

5. It's always fly. Yeah, being able to be super strong and lift cars off of people is useful. For them. But it's no good for you when you're trying to give someone a nice relaxing massage and break their collar bone by accident. I'd fly up high and have a go at the builders who wolf whistle my mother. I'd also fly all the way home at night, because night buses and drunk people are a hassle. Squeamish Nicola
submit to reddit
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011

    Categories

    All
    Books
    Booze
    Cinematic
    Dress Up
    Educating Sue
    Educating Sue
    Friday 5
    Friday 5
    Geekery
    Gender Agender
    Gender Agender
    Glitter And Twisted
    Glitter And Twisted
    History Repeating
    History Repeating
    How To
    Just A Thought
    Just A Thought
    Let's Get Political
    Let's Get Political
    Music
    Nom Nom Nom
    Nostalgia
    Tellybox
    Why You Should Love

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos from Pink Sherbet Photography, anunez619, NikRugby23!, Asso Pixiel