Good Friday to you dear reader! As we begin the Easter celebrations we remember that this religious holiday is about so much more than decorated bonnets, bunnies and egg shaped chocolate. No, Easter is about the resurrection, new life, hope! With the true meaning of Easter on our minds we thought about celebrities (we like to be relevant and 'clickbait' is our watch word) who have fallen by the wayside. Who are too far gone for even the Big Reunion to breathe new life into their careers. Well former celebrities and ex famous people, it's Easter and your career can live again!
1. I would love to reanimate the career of Thora Birch. She was fantastic in American Beauty and Ghost World. And then her career fell apart through no fault of her own. Her father and business manager Jack (probably most famous as porn actor featuring in Deep Throat) started threatening her co-workers, demanding directors shoot her differently (he was allegedly thrown off set during one of her nude scenes after threatening the director for making her breasts 'look bad'), and basically destroyed her career. So sad - she had so much potential. Gareth
2. I was desperately enamoured with D'arcy Wretzky of the Smashing Pumpkins as a teen. And I'd love to see her career revived. I don't care if Billy Corgan doesn't like her - to me she was the best thing about the Pumpkins. She hasn't done much in the public eye since they split, and internet searches most recently turn up a couple of arrests in 2011. So maybe a revival as a musician wouldn't be the best idea. Perhaps she could be a dressage rider - she has the elegance and grace and kept horses. And then she could continue to play music someplace she can enjoy it. Squeamish Louise
3. I would like to breath life into the dead career of Sisqó (even though it seems that he had a stint in the UK Big Brother House in 2010 that I missed) I would like to see him cashing in on this iconic platinum hair and that Thoooooooooong (thong, thong, thong) song. He should open a respectable chain of beauty spas/parlours and offer makeovers to the world! In Gok Wan style he can have an ad that wows us, where he throws handfuls of colourful bespoke designer thongs to a bunch of ladies faces as they screech with joy and then he'll run up behind them and at the pull of a g string give them his trademark bleached barnet, turn to the camera and say "Sisqó knows..." and somehow that'll make the entirety of the US trust him with their style choices. Well done him! Squeamish Nicola
4. I think I have been pretty clear about my undying love for TLC, particularly Lisa Left Eye Lopes. I can't bring her back, but my joint second favourite members were always Tionne T-Boz Watkins, because she rocked dungarees on the Waterfalls single artwork and Rozonda Chilli Thomas, because she also looked pretty bitchin' on the Waterfalls artwork. In fact, they all did. Man I love baggy clothes. And songs with unexpected raps in the middle, done by one of the band MEMBERS not some guest fancy pants rapper. LOOK I JUST WANT TLC BACK OK. Squeamish Kate
5. I'd like to bring back Jim Morrison and make him a motivational speaker. His shamanistic ability to get a crowd going was unparalleled in his era, and has only been matched by a couple of frontmen since. If he wanted to use his powers for evil Mr Mojo Risin' would make a pretty good cult leader (especially if we could revive him in his hot, barechested years...) but I think he's a good egg who could inspire millions to maximise their potential, or whatever it is motivational speakers actually do. F1Kate
2. I was desperately enamoured with D'arcy Wretzky of the Smashing Pumpkins as a teen. And I'd love to see her career revived. I don't care if Billy Corgan doesn't like her - to me she was the best thing about the Pumpkins. She hasn't done much in the public eye since they split, and internet searches most recently turn up a couple of arrests in 2011. So maybe a revival as a musician wouldn't be the best idea. Perhaps she could be a dressage rider - she has the elegance and grace and kept horses. And then she could continue to play music someplace she can enjoy it. Squeamish Louise
3. I would like to breath life into the dead career of Sisqó (even though it seems that he had a stint in the UK Big Brother House in 2010 that I missed) I would like to see him cashing in on this iconic platinum hair and that Thoooooooooong (thong, thong, thong) song. He should open a respectable chain of beauty spas/parlours and offer makeovers to the world! In Gok Wan style he can have an ad that wows us, where he throws handfuls of colourful bespoke designer thongs to a bunch of ladies faces as they screech with joy and then he'll run up behind them and at the pull of a g string give them his trademark bleached barnet, turn to the camera and say "Sisqó knows..." and somehow that'll make the entirety of the US trust him with their style choices. Well done him! Squeamish Nicola
4. I think I have been pretty clear about my undying love for TLC, particularly Lisa Left Eye Lopes. I can't bring her back, but my joint second favourite members were always Tionne T-Boz Watkins, because she rocked dungarees on the Waterfalls single artwork and Rozonda Chilli Thomas, because she also looked pretty bitchin' on the Waterfalls artwork. In fact, they all did. Man I love baggy clothes. And songs with unexpected raps in the middle, done by one of the band MEMBERS not some guest fancy pants rapper. LOOK I JUST WANT TLC BACK OK. Squeamish Kate
5. I'd like to bring back Jim Morrison and make him a motivational speaker. His shamanistic ability to get a crowd going was unparalleled in his era, and has only been matched by a couple of frontmen since. If he wanted to use his powers for evil Mr Mojo Risin' would make a pretty good cult leader (especially if we could revive him in his hot, barechested years...) but I think he's a good egg who could inspire millions to maximise their potential, or whatever it is motivational speakers actually do. F1Kate
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