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Friday 5...Rebrand

3/10/2013

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What's in a name?

Or a concept, logo or philosophy. And how can you get people to see things the way you want them to? Obviously, you need to ask the advertising industry. Which is exactly what Elle Magazine has done. Having noticed that not everyone likes 'feminism' they have launched a competition to rebrand it matching up ' prominent feminists' with ad agencies.

Interestingly they don't seem to be taking any of the criticisms we hear most often about feminism into consideration - it seems unlikely any of the new concepts will take us away from a white, middle class feminism that often fails to address or even excludes trans women, sex workers, women of colour and those with disabilities. Or maybe we're just hopelessly cynical. Maybe we should embrace the power of advertising and rebranding. So here are 5 things the squeamish team would like to rebrand...

1. I'd like to rebrand quietness. I know many people who can't understand why I don't turn on the TV as soon as I get home or have headphones in whenever I'm outside. I'm the grump who always wants the office radio off and thinks it's sad it's now okay to talk in libraries. It's not boring, or unsociable (ok maybe a little but what's wrong with that?) . It's just...Nice. Shhhhh. Squeamish Louise

2. Can I rebrand people? Better not, as that way lies Nietzschean philosophy, and he already suffered a nasty rebranding care of the national socialists. So I'd like to rebrand cosmetic surgery*. Let's be honest, there's nothing cosmetic about it. From here on out, let's just call it vain deathwishing. Because the inherent risks in anaesthesia and scalpels really make that new nose/those new tits SO worthwhile.
* Cosmetic procedures only. Anyone who wants reconstructive surgery after a nasty accident has my blessing and my deepest sympathy. F1Kate

3. I would rebrand The Great British Bake off into one of those programmes that is concerned about the UK's increasing obesity problems. It would be a bit like one of those awful shock treatment shows like Supersized Vs. Superskinny. Mel and Sue would go around and talk about the person's obsession with making cream puffs and eating them. They'd then watch them make them commenting on the fat and calorie value of each ingredient and then once the contestant had baked an entire tray of them, then Paul and Mary would make them eat it all to put them off it for the rest of their lives. It would be a ratings hit! Squeamish Nicola

4. Apathy apparently gets a lot of bad press - I wouldn't know, I don't really read the papers. Someone should do something about that, I guess. Gareth

5. I would rebrand childhood. Childhood is a rubbish time, during which everyone laughs when you don't get a joke instead of politely looking away awkwardly. Tasks seem to require a grace far beyond your chipolata child fingers and you can't reach anything. You have to go to school and you have no choice over your educational direction. Can we rebrand childhood to be more honest about how it's rather sucky or rebrand it to match how we later recall it? Squeamish Kate

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