Last week we tried to cheer you all up with our favourite jokes. We are pretty sure it worked, so we think you should all be strong enough for today's Friday 5 subject. This week we have decided to indulge ourselves. No more looking on the bright side of life, we are knitting our brows, stamping our feet and generally being – well – really quite annoyed actually.
What has been annoying us so much? Not politics, not the patriarchy, not the destruction of the environment and not the media. It is just as they (whoever 'they' are) say. It's the little things. So this Friday here are our pet peeves...
What has been annoying us so much? Not politics, not the patriarchy, not the destruction of the environment and not the media. It is just as they (whoever 'they' are) say. It's the little things. So this Friday here are our pet peeves...
1. I cannot comprehend the reason for doing this. Is it laziness? Is it the completely unfounded assumption that 'no one can see it'? It doesn't just irk me, it infuriates me! WHY WHY WHY are there stickers on the bottom of your shoes?! I think it's great you got your flip flops for a fiver in the New Look sale but do you really want people to gain this information from your rubber soles while you walk down Tooting High Street? Oh, hey Lady with the lovely body con black dress and fancy gold earrings - you look a million dollars - oh wait, no you don't, the sticker on your left foot says you got those stiletto heels for £19.99 - you cheap bargain hunting fraud! ARGH! It is slowly chipping away at my fragile mind. People don't walk about with the price tags and labels still on their clothes (yes, apart from those American baseball caps) so for the love of God and my sanity why don't you remove the labels from your shoes? Squeamish Nicola
2. Pet peeves, you say? My pet peeve is people. All of them. Sure, individually (some) people are fine. But en masse? They're the bastards queueing up ahead of me, overtaking me and then slowing to a crawl, clogging up airport security with their inability to do something as simple as removing a belt before going through the scanner. If only I could make it so that other people had to clear their travel and queueing plans with me so I could guarantee myself smooth passage everywhere... F1 Kate
3. My pet peeve is people who put qualifiers in front of 'unique'. Uniqueness is a binary state - it either is or it isn't. You can't be 'quite unique', or 'very unique' or (worst of all) ' slightly unique'. Just write 'strange', 'unusual', 'unlikely', 'untypical' or any of the other dozen words that actually mean what are trying to say. Gareth
4. I have many a pet peeve, like most people, some peeve me more than others and often they change in order of peevishness. My pet peeve du jour is people who punctuate stories with the phrase 'as you do'. I know this is supposed to be some acknowledgement of how crazy their life is – that's why they're telling the story – get ready for some kookiness! But it's a comic device that puts me off entirely. It often seems to be employed when the user isn't discussing a particularly unhinged event: “So I was walking down the street – as you do.” Yes, yes I do do. Squeamish Kate
5. I don’t have a pet peeve, I have a whole collection. A menagerie of peeves. Which probably makes it sound as if I walk around getting pissed off all the time, which I don’t. Just, a lot. (It’s ok, I balance it out by also having frequent outbursts of joy, excitement, love and hatred. Essentially I just don’t keep my emotions in check much. So what annoys me most? It’s a difficult choice. People who stop at the top or bottom of escalators, or in open doorways make me want to shout. Misplaced apostrophes cause me to cringe (while I’m here, please can we all learn that there is no need for an apostrophe after dates or acronyms unless it’s possessive. Ok? Thank you). I wince when people say vagina when they mean vulva (you shave your WHAT?) But after careful consideration, I have decided to go with the confusion of there, their and they’re. It’s painful to read. It makes me sad. I would seriously consider ending a relationship over this mistake. And almost certainly would if it was made often and the other person spoke English as their first language, and there was no dyslexia or similar behind it. This probably makes me a terrible person. I don’t care – I still think it’s worse to say “should of”. Squeamish Louise
2. Pet peeves, you say? My pet peeve is people. All of them. Sure, individually (some) people are fine. But en masse? They're the bastards queueing up ahead of me, overtaking me and then slowing to a crawl, clogging up airport security with their inability to do something as simple as removing a belt before going through the scanner. If only I could make it so that other people had to clear their travel and queueing plans with me so I could guarantee myself smooth passage everywhere... F1 Kate
3. My pet peeve is people who put qualifiers in front of 'unique'. Uniqueness is a binary state - it either is or it isn't. You can't be 'quite unique', or 'very unique' or (worst of all) ' slightly unique'. Just write 'strange', 'unusual', 'unlikely', 'untypical' or any of the other dozen words that actually mean what are trying to say. Gareth
4. I have many a pet peeve, like most people, some peeve me more than others and often they change in order of peevishness. My pet peeve du jour is people who punctuate stories with the phrase 'as you do'. I know this is supposed to be some acknowledgement of how crazy their life is – that's why they're telling the story – get ready for some kookiness! But it's a comic device that puts me off entirely. It often seems to be employed when the user isn't discussing a particularly unhinged event: “So I was walking down the street – as you do.” Yes, yes I do do. Squeamish Kate
5. I don’t have a pet peeve, I have a whole collection. A menagerie of peeves. Which probably makes it sound as if I walk around getting pissed off all the time, which I don’t. Just, a lot. (It’s ok, I balance it out by also having frequent outbursts of joy, excitement, love and hatred. Essentially I just don’t keep my emotions in check much. So what annoys me most? It’s a difficult choice. People who stop at the top or bottom of escalators, or in open doorways make me want to shout. Misplaced apostrophes cause me to cringe (while I’m here, please can we all learn that there is no need for an apostrophe after dates or acronyms unless it’s possessive. Ok? Thank you). I wince when people say vagina when they mean vulva (you shave your WHAT?) But after careful consideration, I have decided to go with the confusion of there, their and they’re. It’s painful to read. It makes me sad. I would seriously consider ending a relationship over this mistake. And almost certainly would if it was made often and the other person spoke English as their first language, and there was no dyslexia or similar behind it. This probably makes me a terrible person. I don’t care – I still think it’s worse to say “should of”. Squeamish Louise
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