Is it silly season yet? It feels like we must be getting there. But slowly. A drip-drip of silliness, forecast to turn into a tidal wave as we reach the middle of the month and everyone decides that ice-cream is much more interesting than research. One of the first drips of silliness has fallen from Brighton, landing in Hollywood. Oh Brighton, we knew we could rely on you.
It all started last month, when a Brightonian with a surplus of space but a lack of meaningful companionship in his life sought to remedy this using that good old fashioned technique known as Gumtree.The advert soon went viral. Of course it did. The premise was simple - you can live with me for free. As long as you dress up like a walrus for a couple of hours a day, make walrus noises and eat fish. Then this week, came news that this charming story is being made into a movie by Kevin Smith.
It got us thinking. About a lot of things, but here's one - What bizarre thing would you get someone to do in order to live with you rent-free if you had the means? Or to put it another way - what's your personal walrus?
It all started last month, when a Brightonian with a surplus of space but a lack of meaningful companionship in his life sought to remedy this using that good old fashioned technique known as Gumtree.The advert soon went viral. Of course it did. The premise was simple - you can live with me for free. As long as you dress up like a walrus for a couple of hours a day, make walrus noises and eat fish. Then this week, came news that this charming story is being made into a movie by Kevin Smith.
It got us thinking. About a lot of things, but here's one - What bizarre thing would you get someone to do in order to live with you rent-free if you had the means? Or to put it another way - what's your personal walrus?
1. I'm going to ignore the ethical implications. And the idea of having a house with a room I could afford. Maybe I've won the lottery. And turned evil. In which case, a walrus seems like a good start, but hardly the best answer. I've always wanted a pet penguin. But apparently I'm not allowed to steal one from the zoo. Even the ones that would easily fit in my bag. So obviously I'd get my lodger to do that for me. And take care of feeding them with raw fish. Stinky. Squeamish Louise
2. As much as I'd like to list some bizarre celebrity rider demand (such as Lenny Kravitz, who used to (ALLEGEDLY) have a professional joint roller who was paid to spend all day, morning to night, skinning up for him) to be entirely honest I'd let someone live with me for free if they cooked, cleaned, put my clothes away (after washing and ironing them) and picked up my dirty socks after me.
I clearly want to live with a mum from an advert. Gareth
3. I am going to shamelessly steal my sister's scheme on this one...Live with me for free if you're a trained masseuse. But beware - I have more knots in my back than the world's largest crochet anything, so you're going to have to work on those for at least a couple of hours a night until they're fixed. And don't you DARE play any panpipes or whale songs in the background. Silence is golden, and books on tape are even better. F1 Kate
4. I considered someone who would do the cleaning, but actually the only thing I really hate doing is hoovering. But I solved that by simply not owning a hoover. What I really want is someone who has a pet pug. The pug and I would play together and then they would pick up the pug poop and take care of any vet and food bills. I mean they'd have the spare cash. Squeamish Kate
2. As much as I'd like to list some bizarre celebrity rider demand (such as Lenny Kravitz, who used to (ALLEGEDLY) have a professional joint roller who was paid to spend all day, morning to night, skinning up for him) to be entirely honest I'd let someone live with me for free if they cooked, cleaned, put my clothes away (after washing and ironing them) and picked up my dirty socks after me.
I clearly want to live with a mum from an advert. Gareth
3. I am going to shamelessly steal my sister's scheme on this one...Live with me for free if you're a trained masseuse. But beware - I have more knots in my back than the world's largest crochet anything, so you're going to have to work on those for at least a couple of hours a night until they're fixed. And don't you DARE play any panpipes or whale songs in the background. Silence is golden, and books on tape are even better. F1 Kate
4. I considered someone who would do the cleaning, but actually the only thing I really hate doing is hoovering. But I solved that by simply not owning a hoover. What I really want is someone who has a pet pug. The pug and I would play together and then they would pick up the pug poop and take care of any vet and food bills. I mean they'd have the spare cash. Squeamish Kate
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