It was St George's Day this week, as a Palestinian soldier with Greek parentage it is only natural that St George should be multicultural England's patron saint. Although St George is actually a pretty busy patron. When he isn't slaying dragons, England shares him with various other countries and cities. He is also the patron saint of those suffering from leprosy, plague, herpes and syphilis. As Nick Clegg suggests the separation of Church and State, we think it might be time to adopt a patron saint of our own. There must be some twiddling the thumbs with only a couple of professions and diseases to patron over. Here are some we think might suit Squeamish...
1. Alas, there should just be a St.Squeamish already in existence! I think since Saints endure so much hardship we should have a patron saint with all the hardships we do not want to endure. I nominate St.Monica of Hippo, patron saint of a fine list of things that women, or anyone for that matter, should not have to put up with. Behold! Patron of: Difficult marriages, disappointing children, victims of adultery or unfaithfulness and victims of (verbal) abuse. It is said she cried EVERY night for her son. None of that. I have also chosen her as I think hippos and squids (the Squeamish Squid) would get on. Squeamish Nicola
2. Having been raised as a heathen, I'm not so hot on saints, which in adulthood has had the unexpected knock-on effect of making me absolutely rubbish in art galleries. Religious symbolism is entirely lost on me. It's a shame. Apparently it's all a lot more meaningful when you know why this one is being slain by arrows while that one's being boiled alive.F1Kate
3. There is a host (Church joke) of bizarre patron saints. Patron saints of coffee houses and unattractive people, saints for the internet and Occultists. I looked into my heart when I thought about what I wanted in a patron saint and ultimately I thought... a BITCHIN' one. So I pick Santa Muerte. She's not recognised officially by the Pope but I have been fascinated with her since I was a child (I discovered her through pictures of Catrina). My dear skinny one's Wikipedia page says she's been adopted by homosexuals, bisexuals, transvestites, transsexuals, transgender persons, love, against assaults, against gun violence, against violent death, prostitutes, people in poverty, police officers, smugglers, drug dealers, taxi drivers, mariachi players, bar owners and bicycle messengers. And now perhaps online feminists... Squeamish Kate
4. I think Squeamish Bikini probably comes under the remit of St. Adjutor - as he's the patron saint of swimmers. And also drowning victims, which suggests he's not really got the hang of what he's supposed to be doing (or his heart's not really in the saint business). I think the Church might need to arrange for an adjutor for Adjutor! Gareth
5. Seems like there are saints foreverything, who knew? I mean, I had a vague idea, but not having been brought up Catholic I didn't realise the extent. It's certainly interesting to browse that list and think about who might be best-suited to rep us here at Squeamish with the big guy upstairs... The patron saint of women? Writers? Zoos..? And then I found him. A patron against procrastination. Now if there's ever been a saint I needed, that's the one (and I know Squeamish Kate would agree). St Expeditus, come and save me from myself! Squeamish Louise
2. Having been raised as a heathen, I'm not so hot on saints, which in adulthood has had the unexpected knock-on effect of making me absolutely rubbish in art galleries. Religious symbolism is entirely lost on me. It's a shame. Apparently it's all a lot more meaningful when you know why this one is being slain by arrows while that one's being boiled alive.F1Kate
3. There is a host (Church joke) of bizarre patron saints. Patron saints of coffee houses and unattractive people, saints for the internet and Occultists. I looked into my heart when I thought about what I wanted in a patron saint and ultimately I thought... a BITCHIN' one. So I pick Santa Muerte. She's not recognised officially by the Pope but I have been fascinated with her since I was a child (I discovered her through pictures of Catrina). My dear skinny one's Wikipedia page says she's been adopted by homosexuals, bisexuals, transvestites, transsexuals, transgender persons, love, against assaults, against gun violence, against violent death, prostitutes, people in poverty, police officers, smugglers, drug dealers, taxi drivers, mariachi players, bar owners and bicycle messengers. And now perhaps online feminists... Squeamish Kate
4. I think Squeamish Bikini probably comes under the remit of St. Adjutor - as he's the patron saint of swimmers. And also drowning victims, which suggests he's not really got the hang of what he's supposed to be doing (or his heart's not really in the saint business). I think the Church might need to arrange for an adjutor for Adjutor! Gareth
5. Seems like there are saints foreverything, who knew? I mean, I had a vague idea, but not having been brought up Catholic I didn't realise the extent. It's certainly interesting to browse that list and think about who might be best-suited to rep us here at Squeamish with the big guy upstairs... The patron saint of women? Writers? Zoos..? And then I found him. A patron against procrastination. Now if there's ever been a saint I needed, that's the one (and I know Squeamish Kate would agree). St Expeditus, come and save me from myself! Squeamish Louise
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