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Friday 5...News

25/7/2013

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This week we have had press releases about a triatholon - namely post triathlon beauty products, fake tan, baby products and part time jobs overtaking full time jobs. But we have not received anything that constitutes news. Which is fine because we don't tend to rely on PR companies for news items.

We look to you, internet, newspapers, radio and TV. However the only thing we were up to date on was the state of the royal uterus. We still don't know if the midwives had a dare about saying 'the baby's head is crowning' but we know pretty much everything else. In case you have other interests we did a round up of some other things that happened this week...

1. News you might have missed, huh? Well, if you're as obsessed with the inner workings of F1 as I am, you may well have noticed that Bernie Ecclestone has been indicted by the German courts on bribery charges. But the F1 boss is a master of the 'look! over there!' school of media distraction, which is why the day that the news was announced also saw a number of F1-related scandals breaking in German newspapers. Teacup storms all, but they took up far more newsprint than the indictment did. F1Kate

2. I have to admit I haven't been following the news particularly closely over the last week or so. I've been on holiday, and the news sites have been overwhelmingly covered in stories about a baby. It's not that I think we should get rid of the monarchy (I do) or wish any of the family actual harm (I don't), but really? I left facebook. I shouldn't have to look at 100s of pictures of a baby I don't know. On thing I did find out though - the North Pole has melted. That's pretty alarming, right? It's not as if all of the ice has gone, but enough of the new ice has melted that there is currently a lake somewhere I'm pretty sure we all usually visualise snow and ice... Squeamish Louise

3. The royal baby news has been odd and all encompassing. I haven't seen anything else. I do however have friends who follow politics quite closely so the only news I heard this week was from my friend. I was so out of the loop when he told me the government wanted to make it opt in I thought we were talking about organ donation but actually we were talking about Internet porn. My mistake. Squeamish Nicola

4. I'm torn between two newstories that didn't get the press they deserved. Firstly Earth has been photographed from nearly900 million miles away! Not only a fantastic photo, it's also a great example of just
how big space is - nearly a billion miles away and they've barely passed Saturn! That's not even the end of our street in space terms. Secondly, did you know you can know pee on your phone to recharge it? I must admit I've not actually read this story fully but I think the gist of it is that next time your battery gets low you just need to squat over your phone and you are good to go! Aren't phones clever? Gareth

5. I know the BBC got a lot of flack for their coverage of Kate's painful, spasming womb, to which I say: THANK fuck. I watch BBC News (the TV channel of choice at work) all day. Up until recently I thought I was up to date on current events, but I'm not (like, not at all, not) because televised news is shit. Especially BBC News channel news. They pick a handful of stories out of the millions of things that have happened in the last 24 hours and report the shit out of them, on twenty minute rotations, over and over, all day. Surely the point of a NEWS CHANNEL, a channel dedicated to just the news, is to cover the stories that might not make the main BBC broadcasts? You don't have to prioritise so scrupulously. You have all day. This style of news giving was not unique to the royal birth. Two weeks ago you couldn't swing a cat for heatwave mania. Footage of people on a high street somewhere with Marks and Sparks bags telling viewers whether they were enjoying the weather or not, but BBC News failed to report that Elaine Morgan had died. Even though she worked for the BBC. Becky Shepherd
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