It is what separates us from the animals. Magazine reading. How would we be able to signal our lifestyle, or lifestyle aspirations, to our fellow commuters or local newsagent if we didn't purchase the occasional copy of Vanity Fair. But sometimes we are constricted in our choice by the powers what be at WHSmiths or Tesco et al because no matter how many times these companies recieve a tweet with a damning photo and the hashtag #everydaysexism they continue to divide magazines into Men's Interest and Women's Interest. In spite of the fact many women like science and motorcycles, while there are men interested in celebrity gossip and beauty tips. What can we say? Newsagents love a binary.
So, in the interest of having clear interests well marked and defined we have come up with some new categories for shops to latch on to.
So, in the interest of having clear interests well marked and defined we have come up with some new categories for shops to latch on to.
1. When I go into a certain newsagents and find the magazine arrangement unsatisfactory I usually pop a New Scientist from the MAN INTEREST section in the WOMEN'S INTEREST section. The organisation is often mystifying I have seen science, tattoos and music all lumped in the Men's Interest section, they'd be better off renaming the men's section: Miscellaneous. Squeamish Kate
2. For the men's mags, I would divide them into: Fly It*, Float It**, Fuck It***, and Break It****. Women's mags would be: Cook It, Craft It, Covet It and Catty.*****
* Planes n' 'copters n' stuff
** Boats
*** Boobs
**** Gadgets
***** Scathing, not feline. F1Kate
3. You know the odder the front cover 'concept', the thicker the paper of the pages and the higher the price the cooler the magazine is. I'm talking about those HIGH end fashion and culture magazines that showcase all the same famous people, films and music you see in the magazine's that cost less than a fiver but with more images of someone pretending to piss in the street while an old woman looks on and models lounging in a 650 quid skirts, displaying one exposed breast with a jellyfish adorning the other, (Please don't look for these examples, I made them up). However you will find Miley Cyrus on the latest cover of V magazine with the handle of a travel bag between her teeth and her name scrawled in marker across the rest. The point being I would call the cooler than thou mags section The Emperor's New Clothes Coveters Section. They're just the same as all the other magazines. Squeamish Nicola
4. I'd replace Men's Interest with 'Porn for computerless luddites'. 90% of the magazine is just pictures of scantily clad women, which I have been reliably informed are also available online. For free. And in video format too. And the other 10% is jokes, gadgets and 'facts' cribbed from the internet. Usually from sickapedia or chain-letters going back to the 90s. I'm really not sure who buys them these days. Or why. Gareth
5. Voyeuristic real-life magazines whose stories are never quite as interesting as they sound on the cover. This is definitely a sub-genre of British journalism. You know the ones I mean - Take a Break; Pick Me Up; Chat.
I'd love to pretend I didn't buy them on a semi-regular basis, but years of doing that have at least taught me that a headline along the lines of 'My Womb was Haunted by a Cocker Spaniel' is likely to hide a rather dull story... Squeamish Louise
2. For the men's mags, I would divide them into: Fly It*, Float It**, Fuck It***, and Break It****. Women's mags would be: Cook It, Craft It, Covet It and Catty.*****
* Planes n' 'copters n' stuff
** Boats
*** Boobs
**** Gadgets
***** Scathing, not feline. F1Kate
3. You know the odder the front cover 'concept', the thicker the paper of the pages and the higher the price the cooler the magazine is. I'm talking about those HIGH end fashion and culture magazines that showcase all the same famous people, films and music you see in the magazine's that cost less than a fiver but with more images of someone pretending to piss in the street while an old woman looks on and models lounging in a 650 quid skirts, displaying one exposed breast with a jellyfish adorning the other, (Please don't look for these examples, I made them up). However you will find Miley Cyrus on the latest cover of V magazine with the handle of a travel bag between her teeth and her name scrawled in marker across the rest. The point being I would call the cooler than thou mags section The Emperor's New Clothes Coveters Section. They're just the same as all the other magazines. Squeamish Nicola
4. I'd replace Men's Interest with 'Porn for computerless luddites'. 90% of the magazine is just pictures of scantily clad women, which I have been reliably informed are also available online. For free. And in video format too. And the other 10% is jokes, gadgets and 'facts' cribbed from the internet. Usually from sickapedia or chain-letters going back to the 90s. I'm really not sure who buys them these days. Or why. Gareth
5. Voyeuristic real-life magazines whose stories are never quite as interesting as they sound on the cover. This is definitely a sub-genre of British journalism. You know the ones I mean - Take a Break; Pick Me Up; Chat.
I'd love to pretend I didn't buy them on a semi-regular basis, but years of doing that have at least taught me that a headline along the lines of 'My Womb was Haunted by a Cocker Spaniel' is likely to hide a rather dull story... Squeamish Louise
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