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Friday 5...I Have Nevers...

30/3/2012

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Ah the I Have Never game, a favourite of 6th Formers and Freshers across Britain. If you have never heard of this simple game allow us to explain it. A group of people sit together and take turns to tell the others something they have never done. For instance “I have never read Squeamish Bikini”. Those present who have read Squeamish Bikini would all take a drink or a shot. That’s you; take a sip of your current beverage you maverick.

This game being the territory of teenagers and young adults the usual ‘I Have Never’ claims can get somewhat degenerate and the rascals of the pack revealed. What these people don’t realise is what they have not done can be far more shocking. You will get a bigger reaction by admitting Star Wars somehow passed you by than any freaky goings on.

There is some confusion whether the aim of this game is to end up the most drunk or the most sober, at Squeamish Bikini we have to tell you guys if you can’t drink responsibly then nobody wins. It’s down to the individual really and you learn a lot more from this game than you do with Fuzzy Duck.  

So we present Squeamish Bikini’s I Have Nevers…

1. Squeamish Louise has never... gone backpacking  - I have been abroad; I've even done some of what you might call 'travelling' rather than 'being a tourist' - but I'm not sure if 2 weeks in the hostels of eastern Europe really counts. I've watched a lot of people I know go and spend 6 months living out of a backpack in India or Australia and I alternate between thinking I'd really like to, too, and just really enjoying what I have going on here. I moved around a fair bit, with my family, as a teen. In some people that seems to spark an insatiable wanderlust, but for me that's not the case

2. Squeamish Kate has never… seen Sex and the City. During some of my uni years I lived with a pair of Sex and the City fans. They both had the box set of DVDs, so I could helpfully tell whether one was in or not depending on the sound of Sarah Jessica Parker starting to wonder, or the sound of the DVD menu. When I told them I had managed to avoid the hit show they were, well they were pretty upset. Years later a business trip to New York went by not truly appreciated by me due to my lack of Sex and the City knowledge. I also distressed my flatmates by admitting I’d never seen Big Brother, which I was swiftly sat down in front of. As one of the contestants announced that he hated feminists my housemates looked worriedly at me, fortunately, while it has taken some time, I am now aware that people on the TV cannot hear me correct their politics or their grammar.  

3. Squeamish Louise has never... cooked meat. I cook a lot. It is the third most-likely think I will bore you about in the pub. But I haven't eaten meat since I was 8 and at this point even if I wanted to I would be too scared of giving myself or other people food poisoning.

4. Squeamish Kate has never… eaten an Indian curry. Guys I just don’t like them! Many a dinner plan has been ruined by me and my dislike of curry. So, sorry everybody, it smells good but unless you hold some kind of Freaky Eaters style intervention on me, which would be rather dramatic – it’s just curry, I’m unlikely to ever eat it.

5. Squeamish Louise has never...seen x movie. I was going to think of one iconic movie I haven't seen, but the list is too long. I am way too familiar with the pub conversation that goes

someone else: "...just like in Blade Runner*"

Me: "err.. I've never seen that movie"

EVERYBODY ELSE: "What?! How could you?! Were you raised in a cave? What did you do with your teen years?!"

Read too many books and played outside too much, obviously.

*I've seen Blade Runner now. It doesn't really dent the list though

Tell us your banal I Have Nevers on Twitter or right here... 
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