In these unstable times it's nice to be able to have a few certainties in life. One of these certainties was the fact that Hello Kitty was...well, a kitty. Not so. Last week our world was turned upside down when Sanrio decided that Hello Kitty's 40th birthday would be best marked by mentioning that, by the by, you have all been living a lie and Hello Kitty, with her cat ears and expressionless cat face is not a cat. In fact, she is an English girl called Kitty White, with parents called George and Mary White, and she lives in the suburbs of London and Sanrio is all like 'Sorry guys we thought you knew that...' So who else is pulling the anthropomorphic wool over our eyes?
1. I've never fully recovered after discovering Colonel K from Danger Mouse isn't actually a walrus, he's a chinchilla! I know, it doesn't feel right does it? Even more shockingly Penfold isn't a mole! He's supposed to be a hamster. My childhood was based on lies! Gareth
2. Bender isn't really a robot. Instead he's a runaway Carebear so sick of his formerly saccharine existence that he ran off to live out his days drinking and whoring disguised as a rather large tin can. #rebel. F1Kate
3. He-Man is not actually a muscular, blonde bobbed, bare legged freedom fighter. He's a guy called Adam. With a bob, a cat and a pair of purple tights. Squeamish Kate
4. I've never been totally convinced by the Care Bears to be honest. Oh, I'll give that they're probably bears (even if not a kind that any biologist would recognise). But do they really CARE? Really? Or, with all that ritualistic group chanting and cod-pyschological waffle, are they in fact a cult hellbent on recruiting your children? Squeamish Louise
5. If Mickey Mouse is a mouse then he's a very ill one. I have never in all my days seen a mouse as black as night, black ears, probably ready to drop of from frost bite - put a jumper on Mickey! And that ghostly white face. He's just a little old magician with scrawny limbs and white gloves on. Squeamish Nicola
2. Bender isn't really a robot. Instead he's a runaway Carebear so sick of his formerly saccharine existence that he ran off to live out his days drinking and whoring disguised as a rather large tin can. #rebel. F1Kate
3. He-Man is not actually a muscular, blonde bobbed, bare legged freedom fighter. He's a guy called Adam. With a bob, a cat and a pair of purple tights. Squeamish Kate
4. I've never been totally convinced by the Care Bears to be honest. Oh, I'll give that they're probably bears (even if not a kind that any biologist would recognise). But do they really CARE? Really? Or, with all that ritualistic group chanting and cod-pyschological waffle, are they in fact a cult hellbent on recruiting your children? Squeamish Louise
5. If Mickey Mouse is a mouse then he's a very ill one. I have never in all my days seen a mouse as black as night, black ears, probably ready to drop of from frost bite - put a jumper on Mickey! And that ghostly white face. He's just a little old magician with scrawny limbs and white gloves on. Squeamish Nicola
RSS Feed
