It's impossible to escape the bunting and the Union Jack flags at the moment. Most of the Squeamish team are - intentionally or otherwise -out of the country for the jubilee weekend. But even with that and our other tips for avoiding the Jubilee it's become impossible to ignore the growing tide of dubious tie-ins. I'm not just talking about all of the shop windows festooned with flags, and all the talk of "a very British summer" (I'm not entirely sure what that is, but I suspect it involves getting smashed on Pimms in the rain while moaning). No, I'm talking about products that have... tenuous links to the jubilee, but have still decided to cash in. We've rounded up some of the worst offenders:
1. Ma'amite
I can almost forgive Marmite for this, because I do love a bad pun. And Marmite. But really?
I can almost forgive Marmite for this, because I do love a bad pun. And Marmite. But really?
2. Jack Daniels
Ok, so it turns out they do have a connection to A queen. Not the current one. And the one they sent their whiskey to never replied. But hey! that probably means she LOVED it and was too sozzled to write a thank you note. It's also allegedly Kate Middleton's favourite 'tipple'.
Ok, so it turns out they do have a connection to A queen. Not the current one. And the one they sent their whiskey to never replied. But hey! that probably means she LOVED it and was too sozzled to write a thank you note. It's also allegedly Kate Middleton's favourite 'tipple'.
3. Union Jack sky remote
Watching the jubilee on celebrations on TV? Stop! Unless you pay TWENTY FIVE pounds for a specially branded remote you are being dangerously unpatriotic, and risk being fed to a swan.
Watching the jubilee on celebrations on TV? Stop! Unless you pay TWENTY FIVE pounds for a specially branded remote you are being dangerously unpatriotic, and risk being fed to a swan.
4. TfL gear
I can understand that TfL want to get in on the Jubilee act. After all, they're based in London, and so is the royal family. And what says "happy birthday the Queen!" like a cushion that looks like a travelcard?!
I can understand that TfL want to get in on the Jubilee act. After all, they're based in London, and so is the royal family. And what says "happy birthday the Queen!" like a cushion that looks like a travelcard?!
5. Old El Paso
And we have a winner! I'm not even sure what to say about this. The Queen likes Mexican food. Maybe. Who knows. Or indeed, cares?
And we have a winner! I'm not even sure what to say about this. The Queen likes Mexican food. Maybe. Who knows. Or indeed, cares?
Of course let us not forget, in addition to the Diamond Jubilee this is also a very important weekend for another celebration. The most tenuous of all, happy Boobilee, one and all. Enjoy your free massive poster.
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