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Friday 5...Crappy gifts

16/12/2011

7 Comments

 
Picture
ungrateful whale.
In these more secular times Christmas is many things to many people. A time to celebrate the birth of our Lord (or ‘our Claude’, as my sister and I both misheard and must have wondered why we were celebrating some Franco-Mancunian’s birthday), a time for family, a time for excess or a time for charity.

But this is mostly a time for presents; the giving is usually more exciting than receiving. As capitalism takes a firmer grasp of us all the list of what constitutes a ‘crappy gift’ gets ever longer.

After making the Squeamish writers delve deep, it turns out we’re as shallow as the rest of you and here is our list of 5 crappy gifts…

1. Clothes - People who don’t know you well buying you clothes is always a bad idea. Obviously there is the size minefield, but the colour/ pattern thing as well. I got leggings way too big for me from a well-meaning family friend one year. Squeamish Louise

2.  An approximation of what you asked for - When I was 5 or 6 I was really into dinosaurs. I really, really wanted a toy Stegosaurus and my Gran bought me a T-Rex. I was so disappointed - at the risk of sounding like a dinosaur hipster I’ve always preferred the lesser known ones (seriously stop focusing on the mainstream dinosaurs - the Oviraptor is the best, but you’ve probably never heard of it). Gareth.

3.  Domestic Appliances -  This hasn’t happened to me, yet, but you hear stories about people getting irons or hoovers as presents. Fine if you specifically asked for one, but as a surprise, even if your existing one is broken, terrible. Squeamish Louise.

4.  The too gadgety gadget - A couple of years ago my in-laws bought me an extremely expensive, complex Espresso machine. Unfortunately coffee really disagrees with me and only makes it when they visit. I didn’t have the heart to tell them this for ages. Even worse this machine was so complex it took over 20 minutes to make an Espresso! Gareth.

5.    The forgetful re-gift - when someone gives you something that makes you think “hmmm, this looks very familiar…” – most likely to happen in an office setting, with the same cheap bath sets/ ‘hilarious’ mugs being circulated for years. I suppose it is good for the environment. Squeamish Louise

Still, as my mother says these are all preferable to a poke in the eye. 

Squeamish Kate
7 Comments
soirore
15/12/2011 10:18:50 pm

A friend told me that when he was 15 an aunt gave him three cans of soup for Christmas. Now if you're a child and your parents feed you that is a very weird gift.

I don't agree that all gifts are preferable to a poke in the eye. If I'd been happily imagining that a family member knew and liked me and they got me something offensively inappropriate I'd feel loss greater than eye poking.

Gareth - What if you'd been given an Oviraptor shaped coffee maker?
That could be kind of cool cos it'd be good that someone remembered the right dinosaur even if they forgot you hate coffee.

Reply
Squeamish Kate
16/12/2011 04:45:23 pm

Soup? He hadn't unintentionally been a little more passionate about soup that the average person that year had he?

I for one think an Oviraptor shaped coffee maker would be amazing! Someone needs to get on that. Where would the coffee come from?

Reply
Gareth
16/12/2011 09:05:12 pm

I'd love a Oviraptor shaped coffee maker. I'd not use it make coffee, rather as a statue of a dinosaur that breathed steam therefore showing the evolutionary step between dinosaurs and dragons!

Reply
ellie
21/12/2011 06:10:04 pm

as kids we used to buy/make crappy presents for every one of our 32 relatives until they politely asked my parents to make us stop. by god we gave them a lot of shit, but I do get a pang of shame and hurt about it still

Reply
Squeamish Kate link
21/12/2011 06:27:27 pm

First of all...so glad I come from a very small family, second of all we have a tradition (that only began actually once we were grown up) of homemade gifts now...
That is a sad Christmas story!

Reply
http://homemadebabyshowergifts.net link
19/8/2012 05:17:14 pm

your blog is amazing. new follower!

Reply
cool gifts link
6/9/2012 04:39:00 pm

Ya i agree with you ideas if gifting.The information you shared through your post is functional. I admire your work. Wish you all the luck for all your blogging efforts.

Reply



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