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Friday 5...Celebrity Career Changes

15/8/2013

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Our favourite F1 journalist F1Kate sent us an e-mail this week informing us that we would never guess what Pamela Anderson's new job was. We did not guess. We were disappointed she wasn't going to have another go at reviving hit (not hit) show Stacked in which she plays a librarian (get it?). Maybe she has a passion for the Dewey Decimal System and is actually becoming a librarian, it is most of the Squeamish team's dream job after all, why can't it be Pammy's? But actually the former Baywatch star is now the team principal of a new team that will contest the remainder of the FIA GT Series with Vitantonio Liuzzi among its drivers. 

With this title comes a lot of responsibility but we bet she will excel and be marvellous at it. Then we turned careers counsellor and started thinking about career moves we might recommend to some other celebrities out there...

Let's face it, that whole 'public intellectual/ the face of atheism' gig isn't really working out right now is it? Reading Dawkins' latest pronouncements is, at best,  as cringe-inducing as listening to an inebriated uncle tell you about that time he went to Amsterdam, and at worse offensively racist. But where else could the skills of misrepresenting facts, treating everyone else like idiots and getting increasingly belligerent be put to good use?
I know, I know, it's unfair that I tar such a large group of people with the same brush. Just because I've never met a pleasant estate agent doesn't mean they don't exist. Lucky Dawkins would never fall into such a trap isn’t it? Oh wait... Squeamish Louise

2. Three-time Formula One World Champion Sebastian Vettel demonstrated his prowess behind the wheel long ago. He is the youngest F1 race winner, the youngest pole sitter, the youngest world champion, the list goes on (and on, and on). He's also got the record for shortest F1 career before earning a penalty - an impressive nine seconds, when he was penalised for speeding in the pit lane during his first grand prix outing. Seb has well and truly done it all. And watching him win all the time makes it a lot harder for me to write interesting race reports. So I humbly suggest that Captain Pointy Finger take his unpopular digit to the National Lottery, where he can use it to press the button that makes all the balls jump around.F1Kate

3. I was going to suggest Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. manage a zoo. But then I realised this is the plot from the 2011 family outing that was We Bought a Zoo.  Alas, the 90's favourite couple (that's right, isn't it?) weren't cast in that movie or any other after 2000. Instead I suggest they open an off Broadway theatre that ONLY does play versions of episodes of Buffy and once a month She's All That. I know for a fact this will be a lucrative career move/side step for them both. Squeamish Nicola

4. I always enjoy a celebrity who doesn’t look like a celebrity. Or the typical celebrity, you know slim with big hair and a 1000 watt smile set off by their permatan. Because of their atypical celebrity look they often seem like they'd be right at home giving you insurance advice, or serving you at a fast food restaurant. So I want to leave those celebrities in celebrity land. Acting, singing, endorsing perfumes with their wonky teeth and flat hair. Instead I'd like to see Britney make the move into primary school teaching assistant land. Guys, I think she'd really enjoy it and I worry about Britney and think of the wonderful southern lilt your 6 year old could come home with. Squeamish Kate

5. Rather than imagine a new role for a celebrity I'm instead going to take the chance to dust off one of my favourite bits of trivia about a celebrity with unexpected skills. Dolph Lundgren best known for playing mono-sylabic goons only got into acting to pay off his student loans. Loans he racked up getting a degree in chemistry from Washington State University, a second degree in chemical engineering from the  Stockholm royal Institue of Technology and finally a Master's Degree in Chemical Engineering from the University of Sydney!

Yes, that's right - Ivan Drago is a chemistry nerd. Gareth
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