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Friday 5...Banning

30/5/2013

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It could be, in the not so distant future, that something disappears from shop magazine shelves. Magazines quite possibly. Hopefully, one day - if we're good, the division of Men's Interest and Women's Interest. But first up it is the lad mags that might be removed from the shelves, lest our lady esteem take more battering. Squeamish Louise wrote about how she'd rather see a push for diversity in these magazines, Squeamish Kate wants lad mags to addresstheir language. The Object/UK Feminista petition going around the net and making the media hum to the tune of one type of feminism regarding shops ditching, nay, banning lad mags from their shelves has got us thinking. What would we like to ban from shops...

1. I would ban the phrase "Did you find everything you were looking for?" I have two reasons for this. One: I need shops to stop asking their staff to say this because soon I am going to start acting like a gigantic A-hole and stop politely saying "yes thanks (that's why I'm at the counter)" and say "No I didn't find ANY world peace/future husbands/pugs; this is a terrible shop." Secondly it is a silly question to ask and makes the transaction take longer than it needs to, in addition anybody who waits until they are at the till to make inquiries is a wanton time-waster. There, I said it. Squeamish Kate

2. I would ban t-shirts over £15. Since Topshop introduced their Kate Moss range all those years ago, they've decided they are some kind of designer brand in their own right. I want cheap fashion finds so my cap on t-shirt prices would be a step in the right direction! Squeamish Nicola

3. People. I would ban people from shops. They lead to messy stock, smelly dressing rooms, and long queues at tills. The minute other people are banned from shops is the minute I pull out my credit card and start spending. F1Kate

4. Personally I wouldn't ban things from shops, but I I would ban people from buying (or using!) technology that is beyond them. If you can't work out how to stop your smart phone making annoying beeps while you text - well it's back to the Nokia for you. Does your HDTV has the wrong aspect ratio? Or worse still - can you not see how horribly squashed and distorted everyone looks? Well there's an old analogue TV on the street by the bins you can use. Gareth

5. Jeggings. I just do. not. get them. Jeans I understand. Leggings, I used to hate until I tried them and realised that they are indeed ridiculously comfortable. But the combination should be left to rot. I haven't seen one person pull them off and look good. I mean yes, people (mostly, let's face it, women) are buying them out of their own free will. They're probably even enjoying wearing them and think they look good. But if Object! have taught me anything, it's that people just can't be trusted to know their own minds. We need to save women from jeggings. Banning them is the only way. Squeamish Louise
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