Whale had to have those shades specially made
Ah celebrity. Will we ever tire of it? And where does celebrity begin and appeared-once-in-a-reality-TV-show end? We just don’t know. There’s just no accounting for celebrity. Some people are impressed by musicians, or actors or models. Others screw up their faces and wonder aloud who you are talking about exactly, because they simply don’t pay attention to the celebrity world – that’s how superior they are.
But everybody has a weakness, be it for someone famed for more highbrow activities than Katie Price’s (who drives through Brighton on a regular basis in the Pepto-Bismobile) or the Come Dine with Me alumni. We’ve all had a star-struck moment in with the glitter and twisted world of celebrity. Here are some of the famous people we at Squeamish Bikini have encountered…
But everybody has a weakness, be it for someone famed for more highbrow activities than Katie Price’s (who drives through Brighton on a regular basis in the Pepto-Bismobile) or the Come Dine with Me alumni. We’ve all had a star-struck moment in with the glitter and twisted world of celebrity. Here are some of the famous people we at Squeamish Bikini have encountered…
1. This run in with the famous person was more of an eyewitness account. From my sweaty New York cab seat I peered out the window and saw that dude from The Hot Chick bopping own the street. Then some pedestrian stopped him, and then there was a photo, then many people wondering why this guy was getting his photo taken with this not so attractive man. Then a cab driver, also stuck in the traffic jam, shouted ‘HEY IT’S ROB SCHNEIDER! LOOK EVERYONE ROB SCHNEIDER!’ And like some kind of air raid siren, this name was repeated and the crowd grew and edged closer and closer towards a more and more terrified dude from ‘The Hot Chick’. I watched in horror as the crowd ripped him limb from limb. No, that’s not what happened, he actually ran up some steps and banged quite frantically on a closed (there was a blackout remember) grocery store’s door until the owners let him in to shelter from the fame. And still Rob Schneider walks those grocery store aisles desperately searching for his now long lost fame. Sad but true. Squeamish Nicola
2. I have a collection of anecdotes I trot out on a (far too) regular basis (Ross Noble owes me a pint – as anyone who has been within hearing distance of me whenever he appears on the TV can attest to), but I think my favourite is the time I realised I was standing next to an old friend at the bar. Well I say old friend, he was more of an acquaintance, possibly the mate of an old flatmate, or the ex-partner of a friend. I knew I recognised him, but couldn’t think why so rather than asking I spent a good 5 minutes asking questions while fishing for clues as to why I recognised him. I asked after his family, what he’d been up to recently, how work was going, everything - constantly looking for the clue that would let me know why he looked so damned familiar but kept drawing a blank and was clearly starting to irritate the guy. It was only at this point that I realised that the reason I recognised him was because he played Butch Dingle on the TV. Fortunately my pint arrived at almost the same moment as my realisation so I grabbed it and slunk off as fast as I could. Gareth
3. I haven't met many celebrities. This is mainly due to the fact that I walk around in my own world most of the time, so often the closest I get to meeting a celebrity is when whoever I'm with says something like, "Zoe Ball just walked past us!" To which my response is invariably "huh?” This means I have to delve back through the mists of time to remember the last time I actually met someone who could be counted as a celebrity. Remember Heartbeat? That lovable cop show set in '60s Yorkshire? Course you do; I think it might even still be going. I went to school in the same area it was filmed in, and they used to use local secondary school kids as cheap extras. The honour of being dressed up in scratchy 60s outfits and wandering silently through the background of shots was given out at my school as a reward for getting good marks. I was a swot, so a shoo-in. One of the most exciting things about this was getting to meet the cast. The show hadn't been on very long and being in the same place as people off the telly was incredibly exciting. Unfortunately we were only given one half-hour break when we were allowed to go and ask for autographs, and Nick Berry turned out to be a right grumpy sod who even refused to sign one boy's autograph book as he had signed too many. Or something. By contrast, Mike Jordon was a right proper gentleman. Squeamish Louise
4. As a teenager, I was a rock n' roll tearaway with a knack for getting backstage, and I was lucky to meet many of my musical heroes. But one of my favourite celebrity moments involves the Spice Girls, who I bumped into while shopping at Urban Outfitters in Washington DC. It was 1998, and the Spice Girls were still big news. So despite not being a fan, I thought I'd approach them for autographs in a 'we're all Brits abroad' kind of way. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything quite so prosaic as pen and paper with me. Which is why I am the proud owner of a Rizla packet signed by all the Spice Girls in black eyeliner. Rock n' roll, baby! F1 Kate
5. I used to work in music PR, so I have met a handful of people that some might find impressive. But I hang out with Squeamish Louise a lot so usually my celebrity anecdotes are met with: “huh?” I’ve hung out with Andrew WK and his stunning wife Cherie Lily (no really, she actually glows with health) in New York, bought Róisín Murphy hairspray (Elnett) and assured journalists at a party that Mohammad al Fayed most certainly did not walk past them, that could have been anyone. Just not Mr Al Fayed (he had paid for the party and we were trying to be discreet). As a huge fan of America’s Next Top Model (During the riveting cycle 6 I had ANTM dreams) though I was most starstruck when I finally got to meet Janice Dickinson in a lift. She called me Kate the Great and I giggled and looked at the floor. I have also met Twiggy so I am working my way through the ANTM former judges. Noted photographer Nigel Barker is next on my list.
2. I have a collection of anecdotes I trot out on a (far too) regular basis (Ross Noble owes me a pint – as anyone who has been within hearing distance of me whenever he appears on the TV can attest to), but I think my favourite is the time I realised I was standing next to an old friend at the bar. Well I say old friend, he was more of an acquaintance, possibly the mate of an old flatmate, or the ex-partner of a friend. I knew I recognised him, but couldn’t think why so rather than asking I spent a good 5 minutes asking questions while fishing for clues as to why I recognised him. I asked after his family, what he’d been up to recently, how work was going, everything - constantly looking for the clue that would let me know why he looked so damned familiar but kept drawing a blank and was clearly starting to irritate the guy. It was only at this point that I realised that the reason I recognised him was because he played Butch Dingle on the TV. Fortunately my pint arrived at almost the same moment as my realisation so I grabbed it and slunk off as fast as I could. Gareth
3. I haven't met many celebrities. This is mainly due to the fact that I walk around in my own world most of the time, so often the closest I get to meeting a celebrity is when whoever I'm with says something like, "Zoe Ball just walked past us!" To which my response is invariably "huh?” This means I have to delve back through the mists of time to remember the last time I actually met someone who could be counted as a celebrity. Remember Heartbeat? That lovable cop show set in '60s Yorkshire? Course you do; I think it might even still be going. I went to school in the same area it was filmed in, and they used to use local secondary school kids as cheap extras. The honour of being dressed up in scratchy 60s outfits and wandering silently through the background of shots was given out at my school as a reward for getting good marks. I was a swot, so a shoo-in. One of the most exciting things about this was getting to meet the cast. The show hadn't been on very long and being in the same place as people off the telly was incredibly exciting. Unfortunately we were only given one half-hour break when we were allowed to go and ask for autographs, and Nick Berry turned out to be a right grumpy sod who even refused to sign one boy's autograph book as he had signed too many. Or something. By contrast, Mike Jordon was a right proper gentleman. Squeamish Louise
4. As a teenager, I was a rock n' roll tearaway with a knack for getting backstage, and I was lucky to meet many of my musical heroes. But one of my favourite celebrity moments involves the Spice Girls, who I bumped into while shopping at Urban Outfitters in Washington DC. It was 1998, and the Spice Girls were still big news. So despite not being a fan, I thought I'd approach them for autographs in a 'we're all Brits abroad' kind of way. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything quite so prosaic as pen and paper with me. Which is why I am the proud owner of a Rizla packet signed by all the Spice Girls in black eyeliner. Rock n' roll, baby! F1 Kate
5. I used to work in music PR, so I have met a handful of people that some might find impressive. But I hang out with Squeamish Louise a lot so usually my celebrity anecdotes are met with: “huh?” I’ve hung out with Andrew WK and his stunning wife Cherie Lily (no really, she actually glows with health) in New York, bought Róisín Murphy hairspray (Elnett) and assured journalists at a party that Mohammad al Fayed most certainly did not walk past them, that could have been anyone. Just not Mr Al Fayed (he had paid for the party and we were trying to be discreet). As a huge fan of America’s Next Top Model (During the riveting cycle 6 I had ANTM dreams) though I was most starstruck when I finally got to meet Janice Dickinson in a lift. She called me Kate the Great and I giggled and looked at the floor. I have also met Twiggy so I am working my way through the ANTM former judges. Noted photographer Nigel Barker is next on my list.
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