Our attention was recently drawn to the Penis Festival (though Squeamish Kate is convinced she already knew about it. We don't know how or why and nor does she. Perhaps she sensed it). The Festival of the Penis is held once a year in Japan and to the untrained eye looks like a gigantic hen party but it is actually called Kanamara Matsuri, the Festival of the Steel Phallus. Crikey. And really why not? We have come up with some more festival ideas that you should get planning and celebrating...
1. I think we need to go meta on this and have a festival festival. Different floats representing Glastonbury, and Woodstock, and Leeds/Reading, with bands representing each festival, plus dance music tents put on by the likes of the Big Night Out, and Sanctuary, and whatever it is the kids are raving to these days (my glow sticks having long since been packed away...). The chill-out zone can be sponsored by the Hay-on-Wye book festival, or the Cheltenham festival, and the comedy tent can be the Edinburgh Fringe in miniature. Bring the meta festival-festival to your town today! F1 Kate
2. There are lots of festivals all the time and days celebrating things. Just little everyday things of half the population, or fathers, things like that. I'm a pretty big fan of pens. No I didn't miss out the 'I'. Pens are very useful. I like being able to scribble down thoughts, shopping lists and notes in meetings. A festival of pens would be good - we could spend the day wearing all white outfits writing all over each other and then maybe straddle some giant pens and ride them down the High Street! Squeamish Nicola
3. I love a parade or festival. I really do. I'd love to come up with a clever idea that makes you think or sheds light on a deserving group or member (geddit?! Penis festival! Snort). But what I really, really want to see is a parade of pugs. All I want is to see lots and lots of pugs be carried or dragged (I've never seen a pug trotting down the road, only refusing to walk) down a parade route, ending in a park where I play with them all but have no responsibility regarding pug poop. Squeamish Kate
4. I want a parade. Actually, I want lots of parades. Why are we saving them for the big stuff? Stuff's hard. Getting out of bed in the morning is a pain in the ass. Motivating yourself to do anything more vaguely productive than collapsing on a sofa staring at a screen is difficult. We should reward our abuility to overcome laziness. A parade for flossing your teeth! A pop-up festival to celebrate cooking dinner! A fairground because you turned in that report!Only problem is, who's going to organise them? And will the organisers want a parade thrown in their honour for having put your parade together? After all, parade-throwing is hard work. Squeamish Louise
2. There are lots of festivals all the time and days celebrating things. Just little everyday things of half the population, or fathers, things like that. I'm a pretty big fan of pens. No I didn't miss out the 'I'. Pens are very useful. I like being able to scribble down thoughts, shopping lists and notes in meetings. A festival of pens would be good - we could spend the day wearing all white outfits writing all over each other and then maybe straddle some giant pens and ride them down the High Street! Squeamish Nicola
3. I love a parade or festival. I really do. I'd love to come up with a clever idea that makes you think or sheds light on a deserving group or member (geddit?! Penis festival! Snort). But what I really, really want to see is a parade of pugs. All I want is to see lots and lots of pugs be carried or dragged (I've never seen a pug trotting down the road, only refusing to walk) down a parade route, ending in a park where I play with them all but have no responsibility regarding pug poop. Squeamish Kate
4. I want a parade. Actually, I want lots of parades. Why are we saving them for the big stuff? Stuff's hard. Getting out of bed in the morning is a pain in the ass. Motivating yourself to do anything more vaguely productive than collapsing on a sofa staring at a screen is difficult. We should reward our abuility to overcome laziness. A parade for flossing your teeth! A pop-up festival to celebrate cooking dinner! A fairground because you turned in that report!Only problem is, who's going to organise them? And will the organisers want a parade thrown in their honour for having put your parade together? After all, parade-throwing is hard work. Squeamish Louise
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