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Friday 4...David's Dudes

18/7/2014

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PictureNice shoes...
Ah Cameron has been doing the reshuffle. Guaranteed to encourage everyone to take their eyes off the action and worry about who's sitting where in the cabinet. Teachers might breathe a mistaken sigh of relief that Gove is trapped in the loo, no longer able to meddle in education, feminists lean in (see what we did there?) to note the women appointed to top jobs and this means the media has one question: What did Cameron's Cuties wear on the catwalk that is Downing Street? We know what's important and it's shoes not views, so we have come up with a little run down of the Tory male fashion... 

1. Since teddy bear fan Gyles Brandreth took his jumpers elsewhere (they look best on radio) we've been looking for a few Tories have been trying to replace him in the style stakes. But wait, who's that cheeky chappie with the bad boy 5 o'clock shadow? Someone is bringing designer stubble to Downing Street and it's only bloody Stephen Crabb. No wonder he's been picked to for Secretary of State for Wales with that rugged charm. I'm still holding out for some snazzy jumpers on casual days though... Squeamish Kate

2.  There's a silver fox in the cabinet! It's a daring look, staying away from the dye and allowing his natural grey to predominate. But paired with those sharp suits and soft blue ties that bring out his eyes, we're -happy to say 'aye' on this one - the style works. In fact, we're tempted to call Philip Hammond, new Foreign secretary, suave and debonair, but we're not sure if the famously eurosceptic MP would appreciate us reaching so quickly for French words to sum up his signature look. Perhaps we could call him 'dapper' - if that didn't suggest a certain cut to his suit that he certainly will be avoiding (if you catch my drift) - he's no fan of equal marriage after all. Oh Philip, perhaps you're a little too dashing for your own good. It might be time to turn it down a notch now that you've landed one of the big jobs, non? Squeamish Louise

3. Well it's got to be Zac Goldsmith doesn't it? He's easily the most attractive man in politics. He looks like the kind of person a Hollywood casting agent would choose to play the dashing young MP who saves the day. Good looking & principled (well as long as you ignore the adultery and use of super-injunctions) he looks like a future leader in waiting. Gareth

4. Oh, Cameron's Cocks, how we shall miss you. The way you preened and strutted through Westminster, carefully coordinating those tufts of old-white-man nose hair with the shocks now growing from you ears. Those too-short red trousers, blue blazers, and soup-stained school/regiment ties may have been The Look on Pall Mall, where you Cocks (of the Walk) swim in the RAC before heading to St James for yet another evening in Whites, but on the 24h news channels you all just looked a little retro. And not in an ironic East London way, just anachronistic. The only one of you with any style at all was Ken Clarke, who wore his conservatism like a Home Counties sofa wears its doilies: shabbily and comfortably, with no thought at all.
F1 Kate
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