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Educating Sue: Karma Chameleon

3/9/2014

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PictureImage: Frank Vassen
Warwick student Sue is using a lawn mower to build up her evidence against the noisy neighbours, while nursing a sick chameleon back to health and working on the beginnings of a dissertation...

The hot weather we have been experiencing up until recently, made the grass grow at an alarming rate, so whilst my other half was incapacitated with man flu or whatever ailed him, I decided to mow the lawn. This is the first time I have used the new lawn mower, and it will be my last. It made neither music of the future nor music of the past, but rather a deafening crunch. I gave the power lead an impatient flick, and succeeded in decapitating the begonias and lassoing the bird bath all in one swift smooth movement, so that bowl detached from pedestal and was sent hurtling to the ground, splashing water all up the backs of my newly painstakingly painted  tanned legs.

A large sticker declares our lawnmower to emit 96dB when in use. Our screaming neighbours can be heard loud and clear above its noise. 100dB is live concert level and 120dB is the sound of jet planes taking off. I have now written to our MP in a desperate attempt to get the sound the screamers emit measured and thus the subject of an investigation by the council's anti-social behaviour team, but I'm not holding my breath.

I managed to avert another disaster of epic proportions recently. My son has a chameleon which was poorly and necessitated a trip to the vets.  An antibiotic was prescribed, to be administered orally by means of marked segments for each dose, from a preloaded syringe. Two days into the course, my husband was commandeered to administer said dose in my sons absence. In his heavy handedness he managed to offload the contents of the whole syringe down the throat of this poor animal. 

Normally when I get home I get a grunt of a welcome if I'm lucky, but on this occasion he came flying down the stairs in a panic. Taking control, I asked had he phoned the vets? No! He wanted me to do it as he felt guilty that he might have given the poor animal a death sentence. 
Several phone calls later it transpired that Vince (for that is his name - the Chameleon's, not my husband's) would live to see another day; the antibiotic was a very low dose. Other than give him an upset tum, not a pleasant prospect, Vince saw few side effects and we all breathed a sigh of relief. Well actually I went out whilst he took up vigil by the vivarium for the next couple of hours to make sure the pet didn't shuffle off this mortal coil.

I went out whilst he took up vigil by the vivarium for the next couple of hours to make sure the pet didn't shuffle off this mortal coil.

My friend's daughter got married very recently. What a beautiful day it was. The venue was just perfect, with rolling fields and fruit trees adorning the setting. The ceremony was delightfully moving and the bride and groom so excited and happy, they were infectious. Every detail had been planned; not obsessively overt, but thoughtfully arranged so that bouquet, bow ties, cake and table decorations all blended to complement each other perfectly. 

The food was delicious, made all the easier for the major participants to enjoy by breaking with tradition and having speeches before the meal, outside on the lawn whilst enjoying canapes and champagne. The bridesmaid's speech reduced me to a blubbering wreck! After the wedding breakfast there was crazy dancing to an amazing live band and we all went home on a coach, exhausted, with sore feet and lovely memories. It was just fabulous. I'm now waiting to see the embarrassing photos. I hope there are some!

I am back at uni in September and have just completed my re-enrolment form for 2014/15. For my dissertation, I plan to investigate zero hour contracts, when viewed through a lens of income insecurity, though of course I will have to present a non biased viewpoint. I have heard there are many who benefit from the flexibility a zero hour contract can bring. If anyone has any experience of zero hour contracts they would like to share with me, positive or negative, I would be only too willing to hear from you please.

Squeamish Sue
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