Image: Andy Templeton I like a good portmanteau. Imagine how much poorer the world would be if we couldn't use our sporks to ward off wayward ligers. But sometimes a new word appears that just seems utterly baffling. This week, it's mangagement. As in "Johnny Depp has got engaged and is wearing a mangagement ring." Because man + engagement, you see? But I just kept reading it as management, as if it was a piece of metal put on someone to control and manage their behaviour. Oh no wait, we put engagement rings on women to show that they're taken and that other men should not flirt with them, right? This is one of those moments where I'm a bit baffled that everyone is baffled. Why should it be a big deal for a man to wear an engagement ring?
When I was younger I always thought they did. Not because I'd seen any evidence of this but because it just seemed logical. However, when I got engaged myself I also got really confused over which ring was which when we went shopping to buy some - it seemed to make way more sense to me that I would wear a plain band when engaged and then my wedding ring would be one with a fancy jewel because, hey, celebrating getting married! I may not have been the most observant of children. Or adults.
In the end my (male) fiancé and I both got bands we like and wore them straight away and now years later we take them off to do the washing up or go swimming and routinely forget to put them back on for weeks at a time. So I guess I'm not very good at the whole thing.
But if a man likes jewellery, and he wants to share his excitement at getting married, why shouldn't he get an engagement ring if he wants? They should just be optional for everyone, not some bogus way of measuring love as if carats and diamonds can translate directly into emotional commitment.
In the end my (male) fiancé and I both got bands we like and wore them straight away and now years later we take them off to do the washing up or go swimming and routinely forget to put them back on for weeks at a time. So I guess I'm not very good at the whole thing.
But if a man likes jewellery, and he wants to share his excitement at getting married, why shouldn't he get an engagement ring if he wants? They should just be optional for everyone, not some bogus way of measuring love as if carats and diamonds can translate directly into emotional commitment.
| And anyway, to go back to the most pressing point, mangagement?! Seriously?! Maybe we should encourage people in poly relationships to wear special commitment rings so that mengagement can be used, at least it's actually got the word engagement in it. | I want a space for the girls who don't feel sexual and want a place to talk about geometry instead of hair. |
I guess my feelings about marriage are much like my feelings about lad's mags: if you like them, great - if it's not for you, no big deal (and this post is much like a badly-constructed portmanteau: two things which are only slightly related mashed together for the sake of convenience). So I feel pretty ambivalent about Nuts closing down. I don't like the thought of people losing their jobs, but I'm not upset at the loss. I think the decline of print magazines in general is probably more responsible than any feminist feeling or the availability of internet porn, but I'm no market analyst.
I don't think that women working for these magazines are anti-feminist, but I find some of what I'm reading about how wonderful Nuts was pretty, again, baffling. I don't think the opposite of posing for a lad's mag is being'sexually naïve' any more than I think that the opposite of being an investment banker is being flat broke.
Yes, magazines aimed at women are just as bad, if not worse, content-wise. All those articles about dieting and celebrities with personal problems and how big the rock on your finger should be to prove that he really loves you.
But pointing out one problem doesn't make another better. If some women want to work for lads mags I wouldn't stop them (and I do think you can be a feminist and work for publications like Nuts, whether on the features desk or on the cover).
But I also want a space for the girls who don't feel sexual and want a place to talk about geometry instead of hair. Or as well as. A space for the boys who want to learn how to apply eyeliner. The kids and adults who don't define as a binary gender and want to talk about the things they're passionate about, the things that excite them, the things that turn them on, even if those things aren't seen as normal or interesting or acceptable in the mainstream media.
I've found those spaces on the internet - that's one of the beauties of being connected to so many other people, being able to find people who share your interests, no matter what those might be. And if that's what's killing off the old glossy magazines with their restricted worldview and their narrow beauty standards... Well, it's hard to really mourn that.
Squeamish Louise
I don't think that women working for these magazines are anti-feminist, but I find some of what I'm reading about how wonderful Nuts was pretty, again, baffling. I don't think the opposite of posing for a lad's mag is being'sexually naïve' any more than I think that the opposite of being an investment banker is being flat broke.
Yes, magazines aimed at women are just as bad, if not worse, content-wise. All those articles about dieting and celebrities with personal problems and how big the rock on your finger should be to prove that he really loves you.
But pointing out one problem doesn't make another better. If some women want to work for lads mags I wouldn't stop them (and I do think you can be a feminist and work for publications like Nuts, whether on the features desk or on the cover).
But I also want a space for the girls who don't feel sexual and want a place to talk about geometry instead of hair. Or as well as. A space for the boys who want to learn how to apply eyeliner. The kids and adults who don't define as a binary gender and want to talk about the things they're passionate about, the things that excite them, the things that turn them on, even if those things aren't seen as normal or interesting or acceptable in the mainstream media.
I've found those spaces on the internet - that's one of the beauties of being connected to so many other people, being able to find people who share your interests, no matter what those might be. And if that's what's killing off the old glossy magazines with their restricted worldview and their narrow beauty standards... Well, it's hard to really mourn that.
Squeamish Louise
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