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Club XX

16/10/2012

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The Three Graces Image: Kelly Cookson
“I'm going to my club”, “I shall sup at the club”, “I had a sandwich at the club”. In novels of old men, bachelors and husbands are always sweeping out of the room to dine at their club. Or nodding off in front of a comforting fire and mysterious figure at their club (only to wake up to an enticing note and a mystery to solve). They seek refuge from the old ball and chain or sniffy housekeeper at home in the library of their club. Away from nagging high pitched voices into the brandy soaked, pipe smoked arms of their exclusive club.

Provided of course, we are reading about an upper class gentleman. Any other man storms off daan the pub for a pint and to talk sense with their mates. Or possibly the understanding and bosomy barmaid. And the women? Oh they stay home and weep. Or angrily scrub the kitchen floor, or take to their beds with a Mills & Boon. 

But! All could change! In a hundred years time people may snuggle down with their laser book kindle implant (I don't know the future) and read of women exasperatedly announcing to their husband: “I shan't be able to try your Great British Bake Off practise cake, I'm due at the club for a steak sandwich with an old school friend of mine.” This is so 2012 they shall think, all those posh women off to their club for intelligent conversation.

For, next month a new club shall open its doors in London. An exclusive club of the old boys network tradition but with a mad twist. It is women only. Apart from on Thursdays when men will be allowed to dinner. One of the club's founders Chris O'Donaghue mentioned they had hoped to find a venue with 2 staircases, in order to create a discreet separate entrance for men to use: "in the way women have been forced to do at the Turf and Boodles for centuries". 

Well, this club has only gone and broken the camel's back, I mean really? The Daily Telegraph and Daily Mail commenters have been shocked by this flaunted sexism. On the Daily Telegraph site commenter Alex_Neil spluttered: “This says it all really, the wimmin's movement has never been about equality, but revenge.” Bloody wimmin. “Strange.” commented Thimbles innocently on the Daily Mail site, “i [sic] thought all this is illegal under the sex discrimination act?” “No,” corrected a Mr Garrison, “being a man is illegal under the sex discrimination act, women can do what they like.” Oh Mr Garrison you mischievous little imp you, I see what you did there! And you, Thimbles. You men, tease, tease, tease.

This invitation only club is a feminist triumph for 800 women who can afford the £5,500 annual fee. To further echo the feminist theme It is to be called Grace Belgravia, you know, like the 3 graces of Greek mythology that we all wish women would freakin' emulate: Charm, Beauty and Creativity (that last one is optional).

The club will have a spa, gym, studios, beauty salon, boutique, restaurant and bar, relaxation areas, a library and screening room. It also has two residential GPs because we all know women are constantly on the brink of falling apart, as noted by the philosophy behind the club: “empowering and nurturing women through seven ages of life from young adulthood, through fertility, pregnancy, child rearing, empty nesting, menopause and ageing-well.”

The hope is that Grace Belgravia will create a haven for invited “spirited, sophisticated, health-conscious” women to relax and network “without the disruption of men.” As the club's founders explain: “What we are creating is a sorority. This will be a place where you leave your ego at the door.”

So that's where they'll be. I'll be daan the pub.  

Squeamish Kate
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