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By the Bi

16/8/2012

14 Comments

 
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The Bisexual Pride flag. Image: Salanki
Once a year, a couple of hundred people gather somewhere in the UK for a weekend of discussion, socialising, and workshops known as Bicon.

I spent last weekend at Bicon 2012, and when Squeamish Kate asked me to write about it for this site, I wasn't sure where to start at first. But then I realised that when I've said where I've been, I often get the same few questions: what? how? And, perhaps most often – why? So I'll do my best – newbie to the scene that I am – to answer them. Not necessarily in any particular order mind you...

The most straightforward is probably the 'what?'

As the name might suggest, it's largely a place for bisexuals. But the event is not exclusive – as the main website explains, “We don't all use the labels "bi" or "bisexual" or even agree on what it means to be bi, but bisexuality is the common theme.” Friends, allies, lovers and the curious are welcomed with open arms, so long as they abide by the code of conduct (which I'll come onto in a moment). 

The basic structure looks like this: the first day is an academic conference - Birecon. Registering for this part is optional, but free if you go to Bicon. Then comes the opening of Bicon, with a large plenary. Each day sees several workshops, and social events. While I was there I went to session on learning to flirt with women; talking about privilege; a long bike ride along a local canal, and a trip out to get curry – and that's a tiny portion of what's on offer. All bookended by evenings of socialising. There are also large sessions where decisions on how Bicon should be run take place – everyone there can shape the future of the event and community.

The event takes place in a different part of the UK each year, and always involves a weekend at a venue that offers space for socialising, a range of workshops, large plenaries, as well as on-site accommodation – usually a university campus. There will be various social events, about 20-30 workshops a day, and full-time first aid and listening services available.

And (I'd like to stress this point) the whole thing is run by volunteers. Different teams take on the organisation of each year's event, and there is also an organisation that makes sure there is continuity in things like accounting and management. On top of this, every session and workshop is run by a volunteer. Many organised in advance, some arranged during the weekend when people think of something they'd like to do – for example, as this year's Bicon was in Bradford, someone organised the “Bicurryious” outing to sample local curries.

If it weren't for the fact that by the end of the weekend there are several volunteers needing a bit of tlc and drink buying, it would be very easy to believe there was a paid professional set up behind it. Rather than an unpaid professional set-up.

Bicon has evolved over the years. Last weekend marked its 30th anniversary, and there has been a lot of evolution over that time. There's a great article that gives a sense of some of the changes that have happened over three decades.

I went to part of Bicon 2004 before attending all of this year's event, so I'm certainly no authority. But it's interesting to hear about things such as the evolution of the code of conduct. It sounds like it could be a scary or draconian idea, but actually it has evolved, voted on by attendees and members. It's common sense in many ways, and seeks to make sure people are looked after – that no one will post a photo of you at Bicon on the internet without your permission, that any kind of harassment will be taken seriously.

Bicon may not be the perfect event, but it feels like a space where concerns are taken seriously and listened to. There are large crossovers in the bi community with poly – people who don't follow traditional monogamous models of relationships, and with the trans community. There's work to be done in making sure that there are safe spaces for people of colour, and that everything is accessible.

Now, I'm a white, cis-gendered, middle class woman without any experience of disability, and I don't want to claim to speak for everyone because that would just be ridiculous. But as far as I can see, Bicon is a space where inclusion is taken seriously, where privilege is challenged, and you can't get away with making bigoted remarks. I'd love to hear from others about their experiences and feelings of Bicon.

 Which brings me neatly on to the question of 'why?'

Despite being actively involved in the LGBT movement from a relatively early age, I didn't spend much time, if any, in exclusively bi spaces.

Despite the fact that I've written about biphobia for both lesbian and hetero magazines, I didn't think to look for a bi-specific space. And then I spent a weekend at Bicon and it changed my mind.

There is always going to be a bi community, if we take the idea of a groups of people sharing characteristics as a community. And there are things that are specific to that community – much higher incidences of mental health problems for one, along with health practitioners who are still thrown by the idea of someone having lovers of more than one gender. What Bicon, and the other events that flow out from it into the long year between cons, do is to claim that community and build it in a positive way.

One of the organisers gave a short speech to this effect at the closing plenary that made me choke up slightly. There isn't much of a bi community out there – most of the time. And then you go to Bicon, and there is.

It was an amazing bubble to enter and I have found coming back to earth a bit difficult. But it's given me an appreciation for what volunteers and community organisers can do, and a passion to get back into activism.

I loved it. I'm coming back. Join me next year in Edinburgh!

Squeamish Louise
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14 Comments
Glen
15/8/2012 06:48:53 pm

The weekend was absolutely fantastic - I was a complete newcomer and it felt like I had walked directly into a tiny pocket of what the world should be like and that I had arrived where I was supposed to be in the first place.

Definitely will be attending again in future, although next time I shall probably not volunteer every single day and ensure that I don't end up facilitating sessions while hungover to stink!

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Squeamish Louise link
15/8/2012 07:53:44 pm

Yes, this! I am struggling to get back to normal life because Bicon just made me feel so at home and surrounded by friends even when I had been there a day and known people the same amount of time.

I found this article really hard to write because I couldn't believe HOW MUCH was crammed in to one weekend - I wanted to give an overview, a history and a sense of how much I loved it, without writing a book. So comments from other attendees are very much welcomed :-)

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Camel link
16/8/2012 08:44:27 am

"Yes, this! I am struggling to get back to normal life because Bicon just made me feel so at home and surrounded by friends even when I had been there a day and known people the same amount of time"

:) this is one of the wonderful things about bicon space, you can fel like you've known people for years after about aday of hanging out :)

Jen link
15/8/2012 10:47:02 pm

Hiya

This is a great writeup; would you consider letting it be run as a guest post on UK bi blogging site BiBloggers? (www.bimedia.org/blogs)

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Squeamish Louise link
15/8/2012 11:00:08 pm

wow, I'm really glad you liked it - and massively flattered!
I'd be happy for you to run it as a guest post, as long as you include a link back to this site :-)

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Jen
16/8/2012 03:22:52 am

Taken to email :)

Squeamish Kate link
15/8/2012 11:26:03 pm

Yes that is fine as long as you link back and if Squeamish Louise wants to be credited in any specific way.

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Jen
15/8/2012 11:35:03 pm

Fab. Will wait on Louise's comments re preferred crediting :)

Camel link
16/8/2012 08:42:18 am

First off, I'm really glad you (both) had such a good time. There are many wonderful things about BiCon. :)

However, I want to point out that the 'willingness to think about privelige/challenge bigotry' is in many was a very very recent arrival and isn't by any means a given/dominant but actually more from the massive hard work of a few people.

In term of that, this is probably a good time to come back to the bi scene. And I'm very glad indeed that there are new members of this scene who are attracted precisely by those qualities and will support them.

However, I do want to point out that it hasn't come out of nowhere, but from a very very long and painful process/experiences of a number of already marginalised members of the community banging our heads against walls for years until finally a few people caught on.

I'd say this scene is possibly at a turning point regarding this stuff, and I hope that the turn is sustainable and spreads.

But I just wanted to point out that this change didn't come from the majorit of the scene 'getting clue', but from a small number of people hacking away the issues.

Reply
Louise link
20/8/2012 12:41:48 am

Very, very good point thank you so much for commenting.
Having not been part of the scene it's not something I've really been aware of - but I've seen a lack of willingness to think about/ discuss privilege in plenty of other similar spaces and totally see what you mean about how change comes about from the hard and difficult work of a small group.


Hopefully as a relative newbie/ returnee I can act as an ally to these impressive people :-)

Reply
Squeamish Kate link
20/8/2012 04:38:12 am

It is very encouraging to see people's hard work at getting others to recognise and discuss privilege, first time I have read about it noticeably paying off and while I am sure there is still work to do within this community (AND others, which have far to go) I think it is fantastic that Bicon have taken notice and done something about it. Well done Camel et al!

Reply
Nickie Roome
17/8/2012 06:58:31 pm

Wonderful to read such an enthusiastic account of your first full BiCon. Just wanted to point out that BiReCon, the academic conference on the Thursday is NOT part of the usual structure - it has happened three times over the past 5 years and we hope it will happen again, but it certainly doesn't happen every year, and it is an entirely optional extra to the main BiCon.
We seem to have been in several spaces together but I don't know who you are, so next year in Edinburgh it would be good to put a name to a face perhaps. (I'm not very good at chitchat and remembering people's names!)

Reply
Louise link
20/8/2012 12:43:43 am

Aha, thanks for that clarification!
I came with a group who were all doing both so they felt like part of the same thing to me, and I enjoyed both - but good to note.

Yes, hopefully we can meet in Edinburgh

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Gay Hotline Nevada link
4/4/2021 08:05:08 pm

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