Rub my belly! Image: Natesh Ramasamy Perhaps what started it is all those fat Buddha statues inviting you to rub their bellies for luck and wealth and maybe a more comprehensive knowledge of Eastern religion so that you become rich, lucky and aware you have the Chinese folkloric Budai to thank for it, rather than Siddhartha Gautama. Or maybe it is social media, making everyone believe privacy is only there to be instagrammed and invaded. It is probably just a natural, physical extension of the popular opinion that women's bodies are there to be commented upon. Quite why it is apparently acceptable to reach out and touch a pregnant woman's belly without her consent I will never know.
Oh but if we were in Pennsylvania it wouldn't be! To touch a lady's gestating belly falls under the state's harassment laws. This is not a new ruling hitting the headlines, it just so happened that a man fought said law and the law and lady won, after accusing the man of touching her bump to the point of harrassment. Attorney Phil DiLucente said: "Essentially, someone had touched a pregnant woman’s belly,...That’s very common that pregnant women have to go through that. The only problem is when you harass, annoy, alarm in the act of touching, then it’s a violation, a harassment charge."
I wonder if this story would have been in the news at all if it had been her boob. Or her bottom. Basically yeah, her other bumps. Because while sites such as Everyday Sexism does demonstrate that inappropriate touching of legs, boobs and bums still happens, uh, everyday the very small consolation is that usually, upon telling the story, people will acknowledge that this is bad behaviour.
I wonder if this story would have been in the news at all if it had been her boob. Or her bottom. Basically yeah, her other bumps. Because while sites such as Everyday Sexism does demonstrate that inappropriate touching of legs, boobs and bums still happens, uh, everyday the very small consolation is that usually, upon telling the story, people will acknowledge that this is bad behaviour.
| A pregnant woman is likely to find herself relating a story of someone touching her bump without consent to someone touching her bump without her consent. Or questioning her decision to have that small glass of wine ('are you sure? I wouldn't, just if anything happened I'd always wonder...') or piece of cheese ('really? Cheese? You're sure?') or seafood ('oh I draw the line there, no seafood for you'). | If you are a passer-by you do not bound up to the woman and administer pats and suggestions. |
This is because if a woman wasn't public property before she got pregnant, she certainly is now. Now she is continuing the race. Only yesterday Woman's Hour were discussing what pregnant women should and shouldn't eat, which is fine, they were talking to an expert. However listeners to the programme will no doubt pass on what they have learned as a rule rather than unsolicited advice.
It's important we are understanding of pregnant women, making allowances such as giving up your seat duringimportant debates or or on public transport, that's offering help. If she's potentially harming herself and/or the foetus and you're medically responsible for her you might comment. Family might worry.
If you are a passer-by you do not bound up to the woman and administer pats and suggestions. Because the rule is whether carrying new life or not a woman is not a vessel, she's a person and she might not ask for permission to slap you.
Squeamish Kate
It's important we are understanding of pregnant women, making allowances such as giving up your seat duringimportant debates or or on public transport, that's offering help. If she's potentially harming herself and/or the foetus and you're medically responsible for her you might comment. Family might worry.
If you are a passer-by you do not bound up to the woman and administer pats and suggestions. Because the rule is whether carrying new life or not a woman is not a vessel, she's a person and she might not ask for permission to slap you.
Squeamish Kate
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